can i write about being gay in my college essay

Essays on Sexuality for College Admissions

Hello all! With the upcoming admissions season coming along, I’d like to start a discussion about writing an essay about your sexuality (if not for me, for others in the future). While it can potentially be a shallow essay that shows nothing about your character (like other topics), can essays about sexuality be moving? Even if they are common according to “experts”, does that mean they must inherently be avoided? Finally, what makes an essay about sexuality strong? I understand that many people have strong opinions on writing about your sexuality as your main topic, but that does not mean that essays about sexuality will never be compelling. What I am curious about is what makes about what has become a “cliche” topic in the eyes of many cc users stand out, and looking at what has caused the belief in many that the topic is overused.

oh please no.

Do a search on CC for essay sexuality & you will get 100+ pages of results. Adolescence/young adulthood is when most humans come to terms with sexuality (in general & in particular). It can be a big part of the teen years for many students. If there are challenges in that arena- from orientation to harassment to violence- that can be one of the bigger life aspects that a student has dealt with. Result: many, many essays on the topic.

Of course they can be moving or compelling. Of course they don’t have to be avoided. What makes an essay about sexuality shallow or strong is the same thing as makes any college admissions essay shallow or strong: what does it show about the applicant? Will it say to the AdComm reader ‘oh, this person should definitely come be a part of our community’. Because an admission essay is never really about the topic- it’s a vehicle for a student to show something interesting about themselves.

And that is a big part about why sexuality issues are so hard to do well: it is definitionally so personal that it is hard to write well about something so close in time and in heart that it is rare to have meaningful perspective. To make it original and fresh for an AO who is reading literally hundreds / thousands of essays, is harder again.

So please. If you want to write an essay about your sexuality, focus on you not the story. Show, don’t tell. Consider that the person reading it has probably read hundreds of essays about teenagers coming to terms with some aspect of sexuality and really just wants to get a sense of whether you are somebody who would be good to have on campus.

The problem is that your sexuality isn’t what the adcoms want to learn about you. It’s not, “Oh, here’s an ABC person!” It’s about the attributes they want to see, the qualities they want in their class, and more. And "compelling"isn’t about sad or the trials or uncertainties you endure(d) or how you came to your conclusions. Not that story.

Try to remember, it’s an essay in the college app, not an essay for English, where the teacher assigned you to write something “revealing.”

@collegemom3717 Are you saying it should always be avoided? The very first thing you said was “Oh please no”, but then seemed to backpedal, saying they could be compelling. This seems to be the general CC consensus. I understand that there are a lot of cliche “I struggled because I am gay” essays, but does that mean that essays on sexuality should be completely avoided? When you google anything related to writing essays on homosexuality, the overall response is very negative, but these all appear like they are all about coming out. Just like other essay topics, there are wrong and right ways to write about this topic. You have seemed to highlight the wrong ways: focusing on a story, just trying to talk about your sexuality, and writing a sob story. While there is a large pile of these cliche essays, instead of always pushing others away from writing about it, promote the RIGHT way of writing about it. What makes an essay about sexuality strong? There are successful ones that may focus on daily interactions or stereotypes, but still make it obvious that woe is not me! You claimed sexuality is “definitionally so personal”, but I have found that sexuality really is not something so deeply personal as you claim it is. If a writer is successfully able to keep the topic seem light, is it still something that will emit an “Oh please no” from you? And truthfully, if one is not able to talk about their essay topic openly, should they write it all? Maybe this is the most important question to think about when debating your essay topic, especially if you want to write about your sexuality.

@lookingforward I definitely understand that. This is not a ruveal! Instead, should someone talk about how it impacts their daily interactions? How they OVERCAME an issue, rather than discussing the issue itself? Even if an essay on being LGBT is cliche, that does not mean its doomed from the get-go. Just like an essay about cultures, it can still be an amazing essay.

Colleges want to learn what makes you a unique addition to their campus-- how you will contribute to the campus community. We’re in a time when your sexuality doesn’t do that-- lots of kids are homosexual, lots of kids are bi, lots of kids are transgender. I realize it’s part of who you are, just as my 5’4" height is part of me. But colleges aren’t looking for that . You can write a great essay, but it won’t tell them what they want to know.

So can you use the essay?: Sure, you can use any essay you want.

But in the opinion of the people here, will it help your application? Probably not.

Really? This is all you’ve got? Honestly a very trendy, P.C. topic. The previous poster said it well…this is a contribution to a community? Most people could care less what others do behind closed doors.

College apps are a bunch of what appear to be individual pieces that together form a greater picture. It’s all colleges will have to base their decision on, so I’d make sure it’s unified. Each piece should contribute something to whatever you want that picture to be. Writing about your sexuality isn’t bad, but I’d consider if it’s the best use of that space. Is there something more relevant to your overall story that you can show there?

You asked about this on another thread. This is just not relevant to what adcoms look for. They hope to be inclusive, but are looking for attributes in candidates, the qualities that they know work for them. That’s so far beyond descriptors or basics of identity. It’s really up to the applicants to look for and understand what those qualities are.

Imagine applying for, say, state Scholars Bowl, where the reviewers don’t know you, the competition is high, and you need to write something about why you belong on the team. Would you expect to get a spot with an answer about your sexual identity and that journey? Or would you try to understand the assets, skills, attitudes, and energies the team needs, and present something that shows that, in some nice narrative? Shows, not just tells.

It matters whether your response shows them you get it. It’s not as simple as contributing a different perspective or some experience only some others had. Think this through carefully. For the competitive holistic colleges, your essay can show much about your understanding of their wants and how you match that. Or not. Any one piece of the app or supps that stumbles can affect chances.

As I said: the same things that make any essay strong. And, I agree that an essay about sexuality can be moving / powerful / interesting / whatever. However, I am also saying that that a lot of students try and it is hard to achieve.

Your post & comments read as though you want somebody to say “of course! writing about your sexuality can be a great topic for a college essay”.

How you write an essay and what you can tell about yourself through the essay is more important that the topic of the essay. That said, sexuality is not an uncommon essay theme. When you write your essay keep in mind that the idea is to tell something about yourself that can’t be find elsewhere on the application and that will make admissions officers want to have you on campus.

Essays on Sexuality for College Admissions

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