what should you include in a best man speech

Amazing Tips & Themes For Your Magical Wedding

The Ultimate Best Man Speech Guide (Examples And Templates Included)

Being picked to be the best man is such a great honor. You will feel blessed that the groom has thought of you, and considers you the best man and friend for the job.

But, as the wedding draws nearer, there’s one thing on your mind. No, it’s not the bachelor party… It’s the best man’s speech(see also: Best Ways to End Your Best Man’s Speech ). 

As the best man, you will likely have many responsibilities in the run up towards the wedding. You’ll have to try on suits, organize the bachelor party, but the best man speech is the thing that most look forward to, or dread!

Standing up in front of many guests, some of which you may not have met before can be nerve wracking to say the least. It’s such an important task, and a part of the wedding that many guests look forward to. 

But, you have to do all of this in one single speech that can’t be too long, and can’t be too short! 

So, how can you nail the best man speech? Well, that’s where we come in handy. We can offer you this ultimate guide to creating a best man speech, including tips, structure and examples you can take inspiration from. 

How To Structure A Best Man Speech

If you’re unsure of how to go about planning your best man speech, then we can help you out with this simple structure to follow and keep yourself on track. 

It can also help you when actually performing the speech, as you’ll know what needs to come next and in which order to go over your stories and anecdotes.

A good best man speech begins with:

Try introducing yourself with a funny one liner about who you are and how you know the happy couple.

Here comes the fun part! Now is the time to start telling a funny story about the groom. The emphasis here is on funny and not too embarrassing or gross. Choose two or three short anecdotes or stories, but don’t overdo it. 

After you’ve had your fun, balance this out by saying something meaningful and sincere about the groom, his qualities or your friendship. 

Best Man Speech Do’s And Don’ts

There are definitely a few do’s and don’ts when it comes to speaking at someone’s wedding. You’ll want to keep it concise, funny, but not too over the top jokey. Here’s our recommendations of what to do, and what not to do. 

First things first, you’ll want to plan ahead, and write a few stories and anecdotes down that you can remember. Do this for a few weeks before the wedding, so it gives you time to come up with the right memories to share. 

If the groom’s very traditional great aunt or grandma is there, it could be a good idea to avoid any crass, rude stories that could make family members uncomfortable. Save those lines for the bachelor party! 

This day is about the two of them. While you are doing a speech because you are the best man to the groom, it is important that you bring in the bride/partner in your speech so that overall you are wishing both of them well on their new adventure. 

What Not To Do

Don’t wing it! You may have some liquid courage on the night, but you need this speech to be a crowd pleaser, so be sure to take your notes and go over the speech in your head just before you have to do it. 

The same goes for mentioning exes (who could well be at the wedding) or bringing up sore subjects during the speech. Keep it fun, lighthearted, and hilarious. 

Finally, and this is an important one- don’t make it about you. This is not your shining moment, your time will come.

Tips For Writing A Best Man Speech

We’ve also got some brief tips for writing and performing your best man speech!

Qualities To Talk About In The Best Man Speech

For instance, if you’re talking about the groom’s thoughtfulness, use funny anecdotes that relate to this, and bring it back to that whenever possible.

Best Man Speech Examples

Good evening everyone. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Tom, younger brother and best man of the groom. For those of you that do know me…heeeeeeey! 

I have known Jack for…X years now (your age) and have always looked up to him. He had it all, the career, the intelligence, the sense of humor, and now the girl. Then again, I got the good looks. 

In all seriousness, I have always looked up to my big brother. He’s always had a flair for sports, and genuinely has a heart of gold.

Being the youngest of the two of us, Jack has made me a better man, mainly because of the character building he put me through as a child. Jack would love taunting me by stealing my favorite stuffed animals. 

I cherished my favorite, Mr. Snuggles, until one day Jack told me to come downstairs and see the new toy that our Rottweiler had been given.

I was so excited to see our little furry boy happy and playing with his toy until I realized that Jack had offered up Mr. Snuggles in sacrifice with a huge grin on his face. It was a day I won’t forget. 

Despite the taunting and the terrorizing, Jack has been the man that I’ve always aspired to be. In all of the years I’ve been around Jack, he’s always been tenacious and worked hard for what he wants. And he’s always gotten it.

After asking Jenny out the first time, and she said no , he didn’t give up. He knew she was the one for him! It’s a good thing he has the patience of a saint, as it took another 3 attempts to get the first date! 

When he did finally get a chance to take Jenny out on a date, he turned up at the wrong house, and managed to slip and break his shoulder all in one fantastic, first meeting with the parents.

With Jenny at his side, Jack’s clumsy mishaps are less and less. You truly bring out the best in him, Jen. I would say welcome to the family, but you’ve been a part of our lives for some time already, and I am truly blessed to be able to call you my new sister. 

From day one, you’ve fit right in, as you too have taken on the role of teasing Jack just as I wanted. Let me tell you guys, there have been many pranks that Jenny and I have pulled off on Jack.

I quickly realized that Jenny and Jack were cut from the same mold. You two are a real example of what it means to marry your best friend, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for the two of you.

So everyone, if you could raise your glass…and toast- to the bride and groom! 

Then he reminded me that it’s not just about organizing the bachelor party and I have to actually come to the wedding so…here I am. 

Britney would probably argue with me over the adult part! James has always had that boyish sense of humor that’s often gotten us into trouble over the years. 

This is why it came as such a shock when later that day it was I who was called into the principal’s office, and as I walked with my head hung in shame to my fate, James smiled wide and proudly.

Ever since that day, James and I have been at war with one another to get the other one back! But deep down, I know that James would do anything for me. If I needed someone at 4am, James is that friend.

Despite our differences, I know he’s as good as family to me, and all of the Henderson’s have welcomed me into their home on many occasions, and now Britney gets to have that same privilege. 

On behalf of all the groomsmen, bridesmaids and myself, I would like to thank James and Britney for having us be a part of their special day. I know how hard you’ve worked to make this a day to remember, and you’ve definitely succeeded. 

I wish you both all of the happiness, joy and good luck in the world, as you take these steps towards your future together. To the bride and groom, everyone! (Cheers). 

Just think, back then…Low rise jeans were in fashion, Spiderman was the favorite superhero, and Ben Affleck and J-Lo were together. So really, nothing has changed in 20 years, and the same goes for our friendship. 

I remember one time in college, we decided that reading books and writing our own essays just wasn’t for us anymore. We decided to pay someone to write us an essay, and we would switch it up to pass the class.

From that day on a keen businessman was born- be careful everyone- you’ll probably get a bill for your food! 

Since then, I’ve realized what a tenacious person, good friend and loyal individual John was, and it’s an absolute blessing to be up here with you tonight as your best man. 

So, if you wouldn’t mind joining me in raising a glass to John’s mom, who can’t be with us today, but is with us in spirit. Cheers. 

In addition, I’d like to thank both Mia’s parents, and John’s dad who have helped make this day extra special for the happy couple, which I’m sure they are eternally grateful for. 

They also had the difficult task of getting Mia to the church on time, which if you know Mia is a very big achievement, indeed. 

Finally, I’d like to thank the groomsmen for organizing and completing the best bachelor party Miami has ever seen. I only hope it was the send off John was hoping for before he begins the next stage of his life with Mia. (But I highly doubt it) 

Ladies and Gentleman, I have an announcement to make. If there is anyone here tonight that is feeling nervous, apprehensive, or maybe even a little nauseous at what lies ahead…then it’s probably because you’ve just married Adam. 

For those of you who don’t know who I am, I am the best man, James. There are few words to describe Adam. Handsome, funny, but smart isn’t one of them. You see, Adam was my best man, at my wedding, and boy he did not hold back!

Before I start the character assassination that is my best man’s speech, let me just thank Adam and Olivia for having us be a part of this very special day.

Our time at University was one of the best in my life, and I’ve far too many stories to tell you about our lovely Adam here. 

And why wouldn’t he be? All those who know Olivia know what a lovely, and caring person she is. She deserves a good husband. Thank god Adam got there first before she could find one! 

I’ll never forget the time a few years back during a friendly soccer game where I slipped and fell over on my side, snapping and breaking my ankle.

Adam was at my side within SECONDS…to let me know he caught my fall on video. Emergency Medical Services *Scoff*. Only when he saw the angle of my ankle did his medical training kick in.

All jokes aside, Adam and Olivia have always been there for me, and I them. I’d like to think of them as family rather than friends, and can only hope that continues going forward.

Hello everyone. My name is Kane, and I am the best man, and longtime friend of Rob. I was, however, somewhat surprised to be asked to be the best man, as Rob has never been able to admit this over the years.

At first, I thought this was great. I get to plan a bachelor party for Rob, but then he reminds me I have to write a killer speech that would likely make everyone laugh. 

I asked friends and family for advice, and according to tradition, I am supposed to sing Rob’s praises and tell you all about his fantastic qualities. Well, sorry to tell you, but I can’t sing and I don’t lie. So that’s out of the window. 

His willingness to do anything for anyone, without accepting anything in return is what makes Rob extra special, and a joy to be around. 

Looking back, I was probably a big nuisance always wanting to go play over his house, but I had some of the best time of my life growing up with Rob by my side. We’ve been there for every big moment of each other’s lives.

Sophia and Rob, your love for each other shines through you. Sophia, I’m happy to step down as I can see that you two are truly best friends, and meant to be.

I can’t think of anyone better to look after my Rob here, and I know he will do everything he can to look after you for the rest of his days. 

Thank you both so much for a fantastic day. If the rest of your lives is half as good as today has been, then you are in for a joyful marriage indeed. Please join me everyone in raising a glass to the newly weds, Rob and Sophia. Cheers! 

Best Man Speech Frequentl Asked Questions

Does the best man have to do a speech.

The best man does not have to give a speech if he really does not want to, or if there isn’t enough time because there are other people doing speeches, but it is tradition and expected of the best man to do a speech. 

When Does The Best Man’S Speech Happen?

The best man speech will typically happen after the groom has said a few words. However, every wedding is different, and the bride and groom may organize the day differently depending on how they think the speeches should flow. 

How Long Should A Best Man Speech Be?

A best man speech should be short and sweet, but not too short, and not too long. A happy medium is about 5-6 minutes in length. You don’t want it to be shorter than 3 minutes as it may seem too brief.

What Should You Include In A Best Man Speech?

There are a few things that you should include in the best man speech. This is who you are, and how you know the bride and groom.

In addition, you need a fun story about the groom and you, and why you think the bride and groom are an excellent match, followed by your best wishes for the couple and a toast to their future together. 

Who Should You Thank In A Best Man Speech?

In the best man speech, you should thank the bride and groom of course, but you can also thank the bridesmaids or groomsmen for their efforts, or say thank you to the parents of the bride and groom, especially if they have contributed a lot to the wedding.

To summarize, writing a best man speech is not all as bad as it seems.

Whether you are looking for examples, tips, what to do, or what not to do, we’ve covered it all in this handy guide.

Now, instead of stressing out about what you are going to say, how you are going to say it, you can look forward to the wedding planning process in the run up to the big day, and most importantly…the bachelor party!

Lisa Plaitt

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Best Man Speech: The Definitive Guide to Smashing it

by Catherine D July 12, 2019

Here’s all you need to deliver an incredible and unforgettable best man speech.

Congratulations!

You’ve just been awarded the highest honor a bro can receive.  You’re the best man! And that’s an honor greater than being knighted by the queen. But I’m sure you know what comes with it.

You’ll have to give that best man speech brosef!

Though, you won’t want to give just any speech off the top of your head that nobody is going to give a damn about.

Just remember what Uncle Ben said to Spidey, “With great power comes great responsibility”. It’s that serious, man.

You’ve probably seen best man speeches like this before. The guy stands up, hits the glass and says something, uninspired, about how he’s bros with the groom, congratulates the bride-to-be, and then sits down.

Or maybe you’ve seen another kind of speech, where the best man stands up and talks about nothing for 10+ minutes, putting you to sleep, because who even cares?

During a reception, there are about a million different things going on. People will forget the things that do not grab their attention, especially at a reception.

Everyone there is busy talking, eating, laughing, and will not care or even remember a boring speech in a few days. But not yours, my friend, you’re going to be the star of the day.

In this guide, we give you everything you need to know in sequence - from the writing process, all the way to delivering that wedding toast. Get your notepad ready for some very important tips on giving your wedding toast!

So How Do You Write the Best Man Speech?

The hardest part is always just getting started. Here are some basic tips on how to write a best man speech so that you can be prepared and dominate when the time comes.

Be Prepared and Plan Ahead

Practice makes perfect. Creating a fantastic speech doesn’t happen overnight.

If you’re going to wow the audience, you’ll need to make sure you’ve done everything you possibly can and covered every base - and man, that takes time.

Generally, 2-3 months is the right amount of time to give yourself when writing for a best man speech to account for the overall writing process and potential rewrites.

Considering all of the events that follow, like the bachelor party and the suit fitting, you’ll be too busy in those final moments to prepare a killer best man speech that’s even half decent.

Record Every Thought

You might be on the bus or in your car and think of an incredible quote or one-liner to say in your wedding toast, but our memories are very limited.

It’s difficult to remember what you even had for lunch two days ago, much less something you thought up some random time.

No matter where you are, record your thoughts. You could write in a journal, use your iPhone’s “Voice Memos” app or an app like Evernote . Scratch them onto a napkin, carve them into a stone near you, just get those wedding toast ideas down!

As long as you start capturing your thoughts, you’ll eventually reach a gold mine.

Think of this more as ‘capturing’ than ‘writing’. It’s easier to capture your raw best man speech ideas than banging your head on the wall trying to ‘write’ something from scratch.

Keep a Positive Tone

When it comes to the best man speech, the main thing to keep in mind is the goal of what you want to accomplish - celebrating the bride and groom. Here are some things to focus on:

• Your best experiences with the groom.
• How great a pair the bride and groom are.
• The best qualities of the groom.
• Possible first thoughts on the bride when they met (If they were good thoughts!)

Focus on the best of times, and further expand upon those points the best you can and maybe you can use those for a few wedding jokes!

With that in mind, here’s what not to say:

What Not to Talk About in Your Speech

While you may be writing to make your groom laugh, you need to remember your audience is diverse. You have children, elders, and teenagers so you wouldn’t want to write something inappropriate.

Generally, it’s best to avoid things like these:

• Any previous relationships.
• Anything about drugs, alcohol, gambling.
• Perverse topics, or anything of a sexual nature.
• Harsh negativity.
• Inside jokes that are too specific.

The idea is to avoid anything raunchy or disheartening during your speech, even if it might be hilarious in your head, you’ll have to avoid it in your best man speech.

Think about how upset Grandma would be if you happened to talk about how her little Jimmy actually hasn’t been saving himself for marriage - what horror!

How Long Should a Best Man Speech Be?

So you have a great speech, and you’ve covered every single talking point that fit. Everyone’s going to love this, right?

Wrong! When writing a best man speech, you’ll want to keep it way, way shorter.

The problem is that what you wrote is almost 30 minutes long! No bueno amigo. Nothing on this Earth could keep people engaged in a wedding toast that long.

You’re not going for a ‘F.D.R. Repairing the American Psyche During The Great Depression’ type of speech. What you want is more like an ‘I Love You, Man’ speech.

It seems like everyone from everywhere throws out an arbitrary number ranging from 1-10 minutes, but really, research shows our attention span is even shorter than a goldfish .

Which means you have 8 seconds to make an impression . Let that sink in.

The best man speech is usually between meals at a reception. That means you have to make your mark - and get in what you have to say in a short time. Meaning that short best man speeches are perfectly fine, you don’t have to overthink it.

It can be 1 minute, it can be 5 minutes.  Keep the audience engaged in your speech and don’t ramble off unnecessarily.

How do you do that? Practice!

It’s All About Practice

You know, it’s okay to feel unsatisfied with what you wrote. After all, you’re not the most accomplished writer in the world. You just want to prepare a great best man speech and get back to Netflix binging.

The writing process can be tough, so here’s an ideal approach that most people use when writing the best material:

• Write a few pages of content just to get the speech ideas out.
• Realize that you’ve written a movie's worth of material.
• Take what you really like.
• Edit until you stop hating it.

Being intimidated serves no purpose.

Get Interviewed Bruh

If you’re not the best writer (or capturer), the previous steps might seem a little intimidating to you. That’s fine. Not everyone can put pen to paper as well as they’d like, and if that’s you, consider having a friend interview you!

Getting a friend or family member to interview you about your experiences with the groom is a great way of getting wedding speech ideas. Here are a few topics to get interviewed on:

• Where did you meet?
• Did you like each other at first?
• When did you become bros?
• What kind of crazy experiences did you have together?
• What kind of bad qualities does he have?
• What kind of good qualities does he have?

Answering these questions with a recording device can help you when you need to put the best man speech together, and you can recall things you might never have just by writing!

Be (Relatively) Sober

Even if you have a Wade Boggs alcohol tolerance, it’s best to keep the drinks to a minimum.

( The guy drank 64 beers on one cross country flight, what the hell? )

Having one or two drinks is fine if it helps calm the nerves, but any more will mess up any chance of giving a decent best man toast, and you’ll just look silly slurring your words or acting strangely. Remember, all eyes are on you during your best man speech.

Try Some Best Man Speech Jokes or Quotes

So suppose you’ve got your speech together, but you have a placeholder like:

[ Put a joke in here! ] in 3-4 spots, and you really have no idea what to put in there.

We got you covered.

Here are some best man speech opening lines you could work with and personalize for whatever you may need, because the opportunity for wedding jokes is a rare thing! These make great icebreakers to warm your audience up.

“Well, where do I even start? [Groom] is just incredible. He’s brilliant, funny, caring… Anyway, I can’t really read your handwriting [Groom], so just tell me whatever the rest was after.”

“[Bride], you really are an incredible woman. You deserve an absolutely incredible husband, so I’m not going to stop until I figure out what’s wrong here.”

“Thank you everyone for bearing with me, I Googled ‘best man speech jokes’ and every site asked for my credit card before showing me any examples, so here goes nothing.”

“For those of you who know the bride, she’s really a wonderful woman who deserves a wonderful man. So good job, [Groom], for marrying her before she found one.”

“For anyone who finds this speech particularly not funny, I got all of my jokes from [Groom] so please, blame that guy.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, I wasn’t given a microphone tonight and I deeply apologize. To anyone in the back, If you hear silence at the front, be sure that you’re not missing anything.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, before I begin this speech I’d just like to say I am absolutely thrilled that I beat the bartender at rock-paper-scissors twenty minutes ago for the honor of best man.”

Putting Together a Best Man Speech Outline

Now that you have an idea of how to write a best man speech, it’s just as important to know how to structure it. While there are canned free best man speech templates out there, it's really best to get a bird's eye view on what you want to say and create a structure that works for you personally. Don't just take any random free speech template from online and fire it up. Not every outline or template will work for your needs, so get a good idea of your vision first then begin to structure it.

Flow matters, and it’s the most important thing in putting together great best man speeches. Without good flow, you’ll lose the crowd and people won’t follow what you’re saying.

Here are some great ideas to nail the best man speech structure and make your speech shine.

The Introduction

The introduction needs to serve a single purpose: Getting people engaged! This is the key aspect of any best man speech formula.

The One-Liner Approach

An incredible one-liner is a great way of getting started. A good idea for this would be to roast the groom a little bit, he probably wouldn’t mind.

For example, what faults does he have? You can take advantage of that to make slight jabs at him.

Or you can even make fun of yourself in the process, what do you both suck at? Maybe you want to talk about that awkward mullet phase you both had in high school. Live it up!

The Congratulatory Approach

Alternatively, you can open by showing gratitude to:

• The bride and groom, for bringing everyone together.
• The guests, for attending this incredible event.
• The parents of the bride and groom, for bringing them into this world.

This approach is a good option at the beginning. You can use it as a Plan B if you think you can’t gather an appropriate one-liner.

It’s easy to get lost in thought about what to follow up a good opener in a best man speech, but nothing is safer than a good story to engage your audience.

The idea is to create a connection to the groom and then present it to the guests.

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Where you met the groom.
• What makes him a great guy.
• Crazy stories that show who he is.
• Why he’s an excellent fit for the bride.
• How he changed for the better after he met the bride.

Really, anything goes, and they’re all sure to keep people interested. Focus on the organic story of your friendship and don’t be robotic.

You’ll want to accomplish this in a way that stays kosher, though, avoiding unsavory details mentioned in our #4 tip.

Congratulate the Bride

So, you don’t have to do this, but we definitely encourage it. The issue is, not everyone really knows the bride. Honestly, maybe you met her a month ago, or a week ago.

Who knows, you could have met her literally just now. When your buddy gets hitched, it’s quite common to not really know the lady herself.

If this is true, you can handle this two ways:

Stick to something like:

“I knew she was a great fit for you the moment I saw you together”.

“She really is the perfect match for you dude.”

Sure the groom will know you barely know her, but whatever, if he really is your bro, he’ll appreciate that you’re saving face like this.

2. Avoid it.

Look, you’re the best man, it means the groom chose you, he knows you. Which means that he’s most likely expecting your best man speech to be about your experiences together, so keep the content focused around your relationship.

This means that it’s okay to avoid any mention of the bride after the first few words when writing a best man speech.

It works in most cases to just congratulate her in the intro, and then continue on with your speech avoiding her entirely.

This might sound a little underhanded, but it works, and most likely, the audience won’t notice.

If you know the bride, then speak about her.

If you’re just as close to the bride as you are to the groom, then you need to take all of the prior steps to make a compelling speech for the bride too, which won’t make the best man toast easy but hey, you don’t want to piss her off.

You could share a story about her too, or you can talk about one where the bride and groom shared with you, which is always a safe bet.

How to End Your Wedding Toast

Here’s where you wrap up your thoughts, and keep this part short, you don’t have to stress it too much.

It’s as easy as saying something like,

“Jack, Jill, to a lifetime of good health, love, and joy!”

There are a thousand different things you can say here, but the main idea is to keep the tone positive, upbeat, congratulate their love and wish the best for them.

NOTE: It is absolutely acceptable to keep a paper copy of your speech on hand because you’re not remembering your speeches like a world leader at the U.N. You’re just a guy who’s happy for his bro.

Best Man Speech Examples

Even if you have everything else down, it’s always best to have some speech examples of how to tackle your wedding toast.

People have done it before you, so why go in blind? Here are some different types of best man speeches for unique scenarios you may want to try for your best man toast.

Funny Best Man Speech (Example)

“Hello Everyone, I’m John, I’m the best man, and if you find this speech unfunny, [Groom] and I have the same sense of humor, so please blame him.

I’m just joking, of course, I promised [Groom] I wouldn’t roast him too much today or talk about anything too weird, so I’ll just talk about the good parts of his character...

...Thank you, everyone, have a great evening.

But really, [Groom] and I have been friends since before I knew how even to tie my own shoelaces. He’s a brother to me, even more than my actual brother, sometimes.

Sorry, Alex.”

Emotional Best Man Speech (Example)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I’m the best man, Chris. [Groom] and I go way back, all the way from high school. Through the years, he’s grown from a pain in the ass, into a fine man.

[Groom] was always shy when it came to meeting new people, and that’s sorta hard to hear considering how a guy like that could be such a perfect match with [Bride]. But I can’t imagine him without you, because I’ve seen what it looked like.

[Bride], you are both so dear to me, please take care of [Groom], please keep him out of trouble.”

Short Best Man Speech (Example)

“Good evening, everyone, from the moment that [Groom] met [Bride], I knew that this was going to be something special.

The way you two talk to each other, you’re so alike sometimes that honestly, it kind of scares me.

But to quote Mark Twain, ‘To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.’ May your love be timeless.”

Hopefully these wedding toast examples give you ideas on how to model your own best man speech!

The Presentation - Delivering the Best Man Speech

You have the writing and the flow down. Great! Most of the hard work is all done.

But don’t forget, you’re delivering a best man speech. And grand statements are always accompanied by excellent speech etiquette.

Here are some best man speech tips that’ll help you deliver, so that you don’t look like an uncomfortable 4th grader at a talent show your Mom forced you into.

Practice Your Speech on Camera

You’re noticing a trend, right? Practicing the actual delivery of the best man speech in front of a camera is a great way to see what poor and good habits you have.

And then, you need to keep practicing to eliminate the bad ones. For example, do you notice that you slump too much? Do you happen to mumble? Do you look down a lot?

Take note of all of these when you look at the recording and then try the speech again while mindfully avoiding bad habits and watching out for awkwardly delivered wedding jokes.

Practice in Front of People

Sure, using a camera is an excellent way to correct issues, but there’s nothing better than getting an outsider opinion.

Getting a spectator to sit and watch you deliver your best man toast lets someone tear into your bad habits without any bias. It may be painful, but this is what you want, and a larger group of people is best.

That way, when it’s time to give the best man speech, the concerns an audience member might have are already known to you.

The Honest Truth Man

Remember that a best man speech is a celebration of the love and joy that the bride and groom share. You don’t have to stress about every minor detail, because the audience isn’t (and they’ll most likely all be drunk anyway).

They’re already lightened up, and in the mood for a good few words, so why spend your time being nervous? It’s not worth it. Enjoy yourself up there and just deliver that crushing best man toast.

After it’s through, you can start drinking again, which is what you’ll probably want to do anyway.

Say what you have to say, and raise a toast to the bride and groom. Use this guide as a helpful resource and come back to it as many times as you need to ensure a totally awesome best man speech.

Good luck on your best man speech!

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in: Character , Etiquette , Featured

Brett • April 11, 2022 • Last updated: April 20, 2022

10 Steps to Giving the Best, Best Man Speech

At some point in your life, one of your buddies or your brother will probably ask you to be the best man in his wedding. This is a great honor. One of the duties of a best man is to give a speech wherein you say a few kind words about your friend/brother and his new wife. If you’ve been to many weddings, you know that oftentimes best man speeches can quickly devolve into an awkward, drunken spectacle. The mixture of booze and lack of preparation results in the best man rambling and sharing inappropriate and embarrassing stories about the groom in front of hundreds of family and friends.

If you don’t want to make yourself look like a real ignoramus, and you want to truly be the best man, here are a few pointers to keep in mind as you prepare to give your speech.

Note: We originally published this article over 10 years ago and since that time we’ve gotten hundreds of emails and letters from best men sharing how our guide to the best man speech helped them deliver a speech that got compliments from not only the bride and groom, but also from everyone else at the wedding. This guide is battled tested and works. 

1. Prepare. Don’t walk into the wedding reception thinking you’ll know exactly what to say when you get there. If you have a few weeks before the wedding, start mulling over some ideas for the speech. Begin brainstorming and jotting down thoughts, stories, jokes, and quotes you might want to use. If you don’t know a lot about how your buddy and his wife met, ask. Think of stories from you and your buddy’s past that show what a great guy he is. The goal of the speech is to celebrate the couple and make them look good.

2. Stay sober. Sure, you want to enjoy yourself, and yes, alcohol may help take the edge off of giving a speech in front of hundreds of strangers; they don’t call alcohol liquid confidence for nothing. But make sure you’re not sloppy drunk when you give your speech. You don’t want to be completely uninhibited or you might say something you’ll regret later on. Besides, a man doesn’t need a crutch to help him tackle a challenge. Be man enough to postpone your own gratification until after the speech is completed.

3. Open by expressing gratitude. Thank all the people who made the day possible. Single out the bride and groom’s parents by name, and offer a toast to them for not only putting on the wedding but for raising two fine people. Thank the guests for coming.

4. Tell a story–make a connection. The ideal way to structure a best man speech is to find a connection between a story about your friend and your support for the couple. Share a story about how your friend would always lament that he would never find a woman with x,y, and z qualities, but how he finally did in his new bride. Or tell a story about the moment when you were hanging out with the couple and you realized your friend had found his match. Another good angle is to talk about the way that the bride and groom balance one another. Relate a funny (not embarrassing, see below) anecdote in which one of your buddy’s personality traits tripped him up in some way. For example, the story could be about how your friend is very shy and how this shyness caused some humorous event to occur. You then talk about how bubbly and outgoing his bride is, and how they therefore balance each other and make a perfect team.

5. Avoid controversial topics. Keep your speech on topics that aren’t controversial, offensive, or embarrassing. You would think this is common sense, but people somehow forget this when they’re standing with a microphone in their hand in front of a crowd of people. What gets people in trouble is attempting to be funny by sharing some embarrassing story or cracking some lame joke about a ball and chain. It usually comes out horribly and no one laughs. It’s okay to share a humorous anecdote, but not one that gets laughs at the expense of your friend and his new wife and embarrasses them and their guests.

Don’t talk about the groom’s past relationships, don’t tell people what you really thought of your buddy’s wife when you first met her, don’t slam the food, don’t make comments about “looking forward to the honeymoon” while winking at the bride–basically, just use some tact and common sense.

6. Avoid inside jokes. I hate when people do this in small groups. I hate it even more when people do it in front of larger groups. If you want to keep people’s attention, save the inside jokes for when it’s just you and your friend.

7. Keep it short. Nothing irritates people more than some rambling drunk going on and on and on. People have probably already listened to the maid of honor and the bride’s father give their spiel. By the time they get to you, the crowd is ready to eat cake and get on with it. Shoot for no more than five minutes.

8. End with a quote. An easy way to end is by using a quote that wraps the speech up nicely. In “How Do You Know When She’s the One?” I shared the quote my father-in-law used at my wedding. You can’t go wrong with it: “Marriage is not about finding a person you can live with, it’s about finding the person you can’t live without.” After that you can simply say, “My friend has found that person.” The End.

9. Raise your glass and propose a toast. Raise your glass and say something to the effect of: “Here’s to a lifetime of happiness and love for ____ and ____!”

10. Remember to be yourself. No need to get formal or try to be someone you’re not. And there’s no need to follow these instructions exactly either. Simply use them as a guide and be yourself. Let it flow naturally. Use your natural voice and mannerisms. Make it personal and sincere and say things from the heart and you should be golden.

Here’s your crib sheet:

1. Open by thanking those who made the day possible–end the intro with saying “Thank you to all those who have made it here today.”

2. Transition to your speech: “I am especially glad to be here on this occasion to celebrate this wonderful day with my friend/brother.”

3. Talk about how you know the groom, why you’re grateful for having him as your friend, and why he’s such an upstanding guy.

4. Share a story about your friend and connect it to the couple.

5. Raise your glass and ask everyone to join in a toast to the happy couple.

6. Let out a sigh of relief.

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How To Write A Killer Best Man Speech (With Templates)

A great one-liner:

This could be a funny joke, a compliment, or an inspirational quote about brotherhood or marriage. The first 15 seconds of the toast should capture the audience’s attention and leave them excited for more. Modify this: “I’d like to begin by congratulating the groom for his superb taste in choosing the best man [chuckle].”

Build your respect with the guests by highlighting things you like about the wedding. For example, you can compliment the beauty of the venue, the delicious food, or the great choice of music. Modify this: “All jokes aside, this is a beautiful wedding. The bride and groom look like a movie star couple together. And if you didn’t taste the cake, you are missing out!”

Compliment the wedding:

Say “thank you” to those who made the wedding possible and show appreciation to the groom for choosing you as his best man. Modify this: “I am so grateful to Mr. and Mrs. Zimerman for hosting us here today, and thank you to the bride and groom for inviting me to be part of their special day.” 

Express gratitude: 

Did you and the groom meet as kids on the baseball field? Were you there when he first met his bride? Did you share a funny experience in college that is appropriate to share ? The “meat” of the speech will be a short story about your relationship with the groom.

Tell a story:

Strengthen your bond with the newlyweds by expressing your support for their marriage. If you know a bit about the bride and groom’s relationship, list a few things you admire about their bond. You may emphasize how the bride has positively impacted the groom’s life or how they make a great team. 

Admire the couple:

  For further reading, check out the article