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How to Write a Memoir: Examples and a Step-by-Step Guide

Zining Mok  |  January 29, 2024  |  32 Comments

how to write a memoir

If you’ve thought about putting your life to the page, you may have wondered how to write a memoir. We start the road to writing a memoir when we realize that a story in our lives demands to be told. As Maya Angelou once wrote, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

How to write a memoir? At first glance, it looks easy enough—easier, in any case, than writing fiction. After all, there is no need to make up a story or characters, and the protagonist is none other than you.

Still, memoir writing carries its own unique challenges, as well as unique possibilities that only come from telling your own true story. Let’s dive into how to write a memoir by looking closely at the craft of memoir writing, starting with a key question: exactly what is a memoir?

How to Write a Memoir: Contents

What is a Memoir?

  • Memoir vs Autobiography

Memoir Examples

Short memoir examples.

  • How to Write a Memoir: A Step-by-Step Guide

A memoir is a branch of creative nonfiction , a genre defined by the writer Lee Gutkind as “true stories, well told.” The etymology of the word “memoir,” which comes to us from the French, tells us of the human urge to put experience to paper, to remember. Indeed, a memoir is “ something written to be kept in mind .”

A memoir is defined by Lee Gutkind as “true stories, well told.”

For a piece of writing to be called a memoir, it has to be:

  • Nonfictional
  • Based on the raw material of your life and your memories
  • Written from your personal perspective

At this point, memoirs are beginning to sound an awful lot like autobiographies. However, a quick comparison of Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love , and The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin , for example, tells us that memoirs and autobiographies could not be more distinct.

Next, let’s look at the characteristics of a memoir and what sets memoirs and autobiographies apart. Discussing memoir vs. autobiography will not only reveal crucial insights into the process of writing a memoir, but also help us to refine our answer to the question, “What is a memoir?”

Memoir vs. Autobiography

While both use personal life as writing material, there are five key differences between memoir and autobiography:

1. Structure

Since autobiographies tell the comprehensive story of one’s life, they are more or less chronological. writing a memoir, however, involves carefully curating a list of personal experiences to serve a larger idea or story, such as grief, coming-of-age, and self-discovery. As such, memoirs do not have to unfold in chronological order.

While autobiographies attempt to provide a comprehensive account, memoirs focus only on specific periods in the writer’s life. The difference between autobiographies and memoirs can be likened to that between a CV and a one-page resume, which includes only select experiences.

The difference between autobiographies and memoirs can be likened to that between a CV and a one-page resume, which includes only select experiences.

Autobiographies prioritize events; memoirs prioritize the writer’s personal experience of those events. Experience includes not just the event you might have undergone, but also your feelings, thoughts, and reflections. Memoir’s insistence on experience allows the writer to go beyond the expectations of formal writing. This means that memoirists can also use fiction-writing techniques , such as scene-setting and dialogue , to capture their stories with flair.

4. Philosophy

Another key difference between the two genres stems from the autobiography’s emphasis on facts and the memoir’s reliance on memory. Due to memory’s unreliability, memoirs ask the reader to focus less on facts and more on emotional truth. In addition, memoir writers often work the fallibility of memory into the narrative itself by directly questioning the accuracy of their own memories.

Memoirs ask the reader to focus less on facts and more on emotional truth.

5. Audience

While readers pick up autobiographies to learn about prominent individuals, they read memoirs to experience a story built around specific themes . Memoirs, as such, tend to be more relatable, personal, and intimate. Really, what this means is that memoirs can be written by anybody!

Ready to be inspired yet? Let’s now turn to some memoir examples that have received widespread recognition and captured our imaginations!

If you’re looking to lose yourself in a book, the following memoir examples are great places to begin:

  • The Year of Magical Thinking , which chronicles Joan Didion’s year of mourning her husband’s death, is certainly one of the most powerful books on grief. Written in two short months, Didion’s prose is urgent yet lucid, compelling from the first page to the last. A few years later, the writer would publish Blue Nights , another devastating account of grief, only this time she would be mourning her daughter.
  • Patti Smith’s Just Kids is a classic coming-of-age memoir that follows the author’s move to New York and her romance and friendship with the artist Robert Maplethorpe. In its pages, Smith captures the energy of downtown New York in the late sixties and seventies effortlessly.
  • When Breath Becomes Air begins when Paul Kalanithi, a young neurosurgeon, is diagnosed with terminal cancer. Exquisite and poignant, this memoir grapples with some of the most difficult human experiences, including fatherhood, mortality, and the search for meaning.
  • A memoir of relationship abuse, Carmen Maria Machado’s In the Dream House is candid and innovative in form. Machado writes about thorny and turbulent subjects with clarity, even wit. While intensely personal, In the Dream House is also one of most insightful pieces of cultural criticism.
  • Twenty-five years after leaving for Canada, Michael Ondaatje returns to his native Sri Lanka to sort out his family’s past. The result is Running in the Family , the writer’s dazzling attempt to reconstruct fragments of experiences and family legends into a portrait of his parents’ and grandparents’ lives. (Importantly, Running in the Family was sold to readers as a fictional memoir; its explicit acknowledgement of fictionalization prevented it from encountering the kind of backlash that James Frey would receive for fabricating key facts in A Million Little Pieces , which he had sold as a memoir . )
  • Of the many memoirs published in recent years, Tara Westover’s Educated is perhaps one of the most internationally-recognized. A story about the struggle for self-determination, Educated recounts the writer’s childhood in a survivalist family and her subsequent attempts to make a life for herself. All in all, powerful, thought-provoking, and near impossible to put down.

While book-length memoirs are engaging reads, the prospect of writing a whole book can be intimidating. Fortunately, there are plenty of short, essay-length memoir examples that are just as compelling.

While memoirists often write book-length works, you might also consider writing a memoir that’s essay-length. Here are some short memoir examples that tell complete, lived stories, in far fewer words:

  • “ The Book of My Life ” offers a portrait of a professor that the writer, Aleksandar Hemon, once had as a child in communist Sarajevo. This memoir was collected into Hemon’s The Book of My Lives , a collection of essays about the writer’s personal history in wartime Yugoslavia and subsequent move to the US.
  • “The first time I cheated on my husband, my mother had been dead for exactly one week.” So begins Cheryl Strayed’s “ The Love of My Life ,” an essay that the writer eventually expanded into the best-selling memoir, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail .
  • In “ What We Hunger For ,” Roxane Gay weaves personal experience and a discussion of The Hunger Games into a powerful meditation on strength, trauma, and hope. “What We Hunger For” can also be found in Gay’s essay collection, Bad Feminist .
  • A humorous memoir structured around David Sedaris and his family’s memories of pets, “ The Youth in Asia ” is ultimately a story about grief, mortality and loss. This essay is excerpted from the memoir Me Talk Pretty One Day , and a recorded version can be found here .

So far, we’ve 1) answered the question “What is a memoir?” 2) discussed differences between memoirs vs. autobiographies, 3) taken a closer look at book- and essay-length memoir examples. Next, we’ll turn the question of how to write a memoir.

How to Write a Memoir: A-Step-by-Step Guide

1. how to write a memoir: generate memoir ideas.

how to start a memoir? As with anything, starting is the hardest. If you’ve yet to decide what to write about, check out the “ I Remember ” writing prompt. Inspired by Joe Brainard’s memoir I Remember , this prompt is a great way to generate a list of memories. From there, choose one memory that feels the most emotionally charged and begin writing your memoir. It’s that simple! If you’re in need of more prompts, our Facebook group is also a great resource.

2. How to Write a Memoir: Begin drafting

My most effective advice is to resist the urge to start from “the beginning.” Instead, begin with the event that you can’t stop thinking about, or with the detail that, for some reason, just sticks. The key to drafting is gaining momentum . Beginning with an emotionally charged event or detail gives us the drive we need to start writing.

3. How to Write a Memoir: Aim for a “ shitty first draft ”

Now that you have momentum, maintain it. Attempting to perfect your language as you draft makes it difficult to maintain our impulses to write. It can also create self-doubt and writers’ block. Remember that most, if not all, writers, no matter how famous, write shitty first drafts.

Attempting to perfect your language as you draft makes it difficult to maintain our impulses to write.

4. How to Write a Memoir: Set your draft aside

Once you have a first draft, set it aside and fight the urge to read it for at least a week. Stephen King recommends sticking first drafts in your drawer for at least six weeks. This period allows writers to develop the critical distance we need to revise and edit the draft that we’ve worked so hard to write.

5. How to Write a Memoir: Reread your draft

While reading your draft, note what works and what doesn’t, then make a revision plan. While rereading, ask yourself:

  • What’s underdeveloped, and what’s superfluous.
  • Does the structure work?
  • What story are you telling?

6. How to Write a Memoir: Revise your memoir and repeat steps 4 & 5 until satisfied

Every piece of good writing is the product of a series of rigorous revisions. Depending on what kind of writer you are and how you define a draft,” you may need three, seven, or perhaps even ten drafts. There’s no “magic number” of drafts to aim for, so trust your intuition. Many writers say that a story is never, truly done; there only comes a point when they’re finished with it. If you find yourself stuck in the revision process, get a fresh pair of eyes to look at your writing.

7. How to Write a Memoir: Edit, edit, edit!

Once you’re satisfied with the story, begin to edit the finer things (e.g. language, metaphor , and details). Clean up your word choice and omit needless words , and check to make sure you haven’t made any of these common writing mistakes . Be sure to also know the difference between revising and editing —you’ll be doing both. Then, once your memoir is ready, send it out !

Learn How to Write a Memoir at Writers.com

Writing a memoir for the first time can be intimidating. But, keep in mind that anyone can learn how to write a memoir. Trust the value of your own experiences: it’s not about the stories you tell, but how you tell them. Most importantly, don’t give up!

Anyone can learn how to write a memoir.

If you’re looking for additional feedback, as well as additional instruction on how to write a memoir, check out our schedule of nonfiction classes . Now, get started writing your memoir!

32 Comments

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Thank you for this website. It’s very engaging. I have been writing a memoir for over three years, somewhat haphazardly, based on the first half of my life and its encounters with ignorance (religious restrictions, alcohol, and inability to reach out for help). Three cities were involved: Boston as a youngster growing up and going to college, then Washington DC and Chicago North Shore as a married woman with four children. I am satisfied with some chapters and not with others. Editing exposes repetition and hopefully discards boring excess. Reaching for something better is always worth the struggle. I am 90, continue to be a recital pianist, a portrait painter, and a writer. Hubby has been dead for nine years. Together we lept a few of life’s chasms and I still miss him. But so far, my occupations keep my brain working fairly well, especially since I don’t smoke or drink (for the past 50 years).

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Hi Mary Ellen,

It sounds like a fantastic life for a memoir! Thank you for sharing, and best of luck finishing your book. Let us know when it’s published!

Best, The writers.com Team

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Hello Mary Ellen,

I am contacting you because your last name (Lavelle) is my middle name!

Being interested in genealogy I have learned that this was my great grandfathers wife’s name (Mary Lavelle), and that her family emigrated here about 1850 from County Mayo, Ireland. That is also where my fathers family came from.

Is your family background similar?

Hope to hear back from you.

Richard Lavelle Bourke

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Hi Mary Ellen: Have you finished your memoir yet? I just came across your post and am seriously impressed that you are still writing. I discovered it again at age 77 and don’t know what I would do with myself if I couldn’t write. All the best to you!! Sharon [email protected]

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I am up to my eyeballs with a research project and report for a non-profit. And some paid research for an international organization. But as today is my 90th birthday, it is time to retire and write a memoir.

So I would like to join a list to keep track of future courses related to memoir / creative non-fiction writing.

Hi Frederick,

Happy birthday! And happy retirement as well. I’ve added your name and email to our reminder list for memoir courses–when we post one on our calendar, we’ll send you an email.

We’ll be posting more memoir courses in the near future, likely for the months of January and February 2022. We hope to see you in one!

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Very interesting and informative, I am writing memoirs from my long often adventurous and well travelled life, have had one very short story published. Your advice on several topics will be extremely helpful. I write under my schoolboy nickname Barnaby Rudge.

[…] How to Write a Memoir: Examples and a Step-by-Step Guide […]

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I am writing my memoir from my memory when I was 5 years old and now having left my birthplace I left after graduation as a doctor I moved to UK where I have been living. In between I have spent 1 year in Canada during my training year as paediatrician. I also spent nearly 2 years with British Army in the hospital as paediatrician in Germany. I moved back to UK to work as specialist paediatrician in a very busy general hospital outside London for the next 22 years. Then I retired from NHS in 2012. I worked another 5 years in Canada until 2018. I am fully retired now

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I have the whole convoluted story of my loss and horrid aftermath in my head (and heart) but have no clue WHERE, in my story to begin. In the middle of the tragedy? What led up to it? Where my life is now, post-loss, and then write back and forth? Any suggestions?

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My friend Laura who referred me to this site said “Start”! I say to you “Start”!

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Hi Dee, that has been a challenge for me.i dont know where to start?

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What was the most painful? Embarrassing? Delicious? Unexpected? Who helped you? Who hurt you? Pick one story and let that lead you to others.

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I really enjoyed this writing about memoir. I ve just finished my own about my journey out of my city then out of my country to Egypt to study, Never Say Can’t, God Can Do It. Infact memoir writing helps to live the life you are writing about again and to appreciate good people you came across during the journey. Many thanks for sharing what memoir is about.

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I went to Egypt earlier this year. I aspire for my second book to document and tell the story of my travels of Africa, following the first – a memoir that led me to this post.

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I am a survivor of gun violence, having witnessed my adult son being shot 13 times by police in 2014. I have struggled with writing my memoir because I have a grandson who was 18-months old at the time of the tragedy and was also present, as was his biological mother and other family members. We all struggle with PTSD because of this atrocity. My grandson’s biological mother was instrumental in what happened and I am struggling to write the story in such a way as to not cast blame – thus my dilemma in writing the memoir. My grandson was later adopted by a local family in an open adoption and is still a big part of my life. I have considered just writing it and waiting until my grandson is old enough to understand all the family dynamics that were involved. Any advice on how I might handle this challenge in writing would be much appreciated.

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I decided to use a ghost writer, and I’m only part way in the process and it’s worth every penny!

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Hi. I am 44 years old and have had a roller coaster life .. right as a young kid seeing his father struggle to financial hassles, facing legal battles at a young age and then health issues leading to a recent kidney transplant. I have been working on writing a memoir sharing my life story and titled it “A memoir of growth and gratitude” Is it a good idea to write a memoir and share my story with the world?

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Thank you… this was very helpful. I’m writing about the troubling issues of my mental health, and how my life was seriously impacted by that. I am 68 years old.

[…] Writers.com: How to Write a Memoir […]

[…] Writers.com: “How to Write a Memoir” […]

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I am so grateful that I found this site! I am inspired and encouraged to start my memoir because of the site’s content and the brave people that have posted in the comments.

Finding this site is going into my gratitude journey 🙂

We’re grateful you found us too, Nichol! 🙂

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Firstly, I would like to thank you for all the info pertaining to memoirs. I believe am on the right track, am at the editing stage and really have to use an extra pair of eyes. I’m more motivated now to push it out and complete it. Thanks for the tips it was very helpful, I have a little more confidence it seeing the completion.

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Well, I’m super excited to begin my memoir. It’s hard trying to rely on memories alone, but I’m going to give it a shot!

Thanks to everyone who posted comments, all of which have inspired me to get on it.

Best of luck to everyone! Jody V.

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I was thrilled to find this material on How to Write A Memoir. When I briefly told someone about some of my past experiences and how I came to the United States in the company of my younger brother in a program with a curious name, I was encouraged by that person and others to write my life history.

Based on the name of that curious program through which our parents sent us to the United States so we could leave the place of our birth, and be away from potentially difficult situations in our country.

As I began to write my history I took as much time as possible to describe all the different steps that were taken. At this time – I have been working on this project for 5 years and am still moving ahead. The information I received through your material has further encouraged me to move along. I am very pleased to have found this important material. Thank you!

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Wow! This is such an informative post packed with tangible guidance. I poured my heart into a book. I’ve been a professional creative for years to include as a writer, mainly in the ad game and content. No editor. I wasn’t trying to make it as an author. Looking back, I think it’s all the stuff I needed to say. Therapy. Which does not, in and of itself, make for a coherent book. The level of writing garnering praise, but the book itself was a hot mess. So, this is helpful. I really put myself out there, which I’ve done in many areas, but the crickets response really got to me this time. I bought “Educated” as you recommended. Do you have any blog posts on memoirs that have something to say to the world, finding that “something” to say? It feels like that’s theme, but perhaps something more granular. Thanks for this fantastic post. If I had the moola, I would sign up for a class. Your time is and effort is appreciated. Typos likely on comments! LOL

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thanks. God bless

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I am a member of the “Reprobates”, a group of seven retired Royal Air Force pilots and navigators which has stayed in intermittent touch since we first met in Germany in 1969. Four of the group (all of whom are in their late seventies or early eighties) play golf together quite frequently, and we all gather for reunions once or twice a year. About a year ago, one of the Reprobates suggested posterity might be glad to hear the stories told at these gatherings, and there have since been two professionally conducted recording sessions, one in London, and one in Tarifa, Spain. The instigator of these recordings forwarded your website to his fellow Reprobates by way of encouragement to put pen to paper. And, I, for one, have found it inspiring. It’s high time I made a start on my Memoirs, thank you.

Thank you for sharing this, Tim! Happy writing!

Hi, I’m Jo. I’m finally jumping in and writing the memoir that has been running alongside me for at least the last 5 years. I’m terrified, of what I’m not 100% sure. The story won’t leave me alone and right now is the time to start my first draft. I’m approaching half way through what nature may call natural life on Earth, mid-life sounds strange to say. It just feels like the right time to document the journey thus far – especially the last decade. It’s been a radical time for transformation, internally and externally. I’m afraid but your post and these comments have helped.

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Good luck on your memoir, Jo! I’m excited to hear more.

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How To Write a Memoir Essay That Readers Won't Forget

Declan Gessel

May 11, 2024

pen and copy on table - Memoir Essay

For those seeking guidance on how to write an essay on how to write an essay , the process can be daunting. It is a meticulous task that requires precision, clarity, and a keen understanding of the topic. The task is not easy, but with the right guidance, you can excel. In this guide, we will explore the necessary steps required to craft a brilliant memoir essay. 

Table Of Content

What is a memoir essay, 4 key elements of a memoir essay, how to choose a topic for your memoir essay, 4 memoir essay writing tips to keep your readers engaged, jotbot highlights 3 great memoir essays, write smarter memoir essay with jotbot — start writing for free today.

Memoir Essay writing on a laptop

A memoir essay is a piece of writing that combines elements of personal narrative and essay writing. The term itself is derived from the French word mémoire, meaning memory or reminiscence. A memoir essay tells a true story that happened to the author. It allows the author to explore and share memories from their past, reflecting on the significance of those experiences as they relate to them now.

Limited Scope

Unlike an autobiography , a memoir essay focuses on a specific period of the author's life, a particular event, or a significant relationship. This limited scope helps to keep the narrative more centralized, allowing the author to deeply explore the emotions and consequences of those experiences within the context of the overall theme.

Essay Structure

A memoir essay uses an essay structure to introduce a central theme, develop the story, and offer reflections or insights. This structure can help the author to organize their thoughts and present their story in a way that is engaging and easy to follow. It also allows the author to weave in other elements, such as research or commentary, that can help to enrich the narrative.

Emotional Depth

A memoir delves into the author's feelings and thoughts related to the experience. By exploring the emotional depth of their memories, the author can create a more evocative and powerful narrative that resonates with readers on a personal level. This emotional depth can draw readers in and make them feel more connected to the author's story.

Universal Connection

While personal, a memoir essay aims to connect with readers by exploring broader human themes. By sharing their experiences and insights, the author can help readers to see themselves in the story, finding common ground and shared emotions that make the narrative more meaningful and impactful. 

This universal connection is one of the key strengths of a memoir essay, allowing the author to reach a wider audience and create a more lasting impact with their writing.

Difference between Memoir and Autobiography

A memoir is closely related to the nonfiction format known as autobiography, but the two forms are not identical. Most notably, an autobiography is a first-person account of its author’s entire life. Autobiographies are usually written by famous individuals, such as politicians, celebrities, or business leaders. 

In contrast, a memoir is a nonfiction work that is based on the author’s personal memories, feelings, and experiences. Memoirs are often focused on a specific time period, theme, or relationship in the author’s life. Autobiographies are longer than memoirs and cover a broader scope of the author’s life. Although memoirs and autobiographies are different, both of these genres are entertaining and informative.

Related Reading

• Argumentative Essay • Essay Format • Expository Essay • Essay Outline • How To Write A Conclusion For An Essay • Transition Sentences • Narrative Essay • Rhetorical Analysis Essay • Persuasive Essay

person wiriting Memoir Essay

1. The Use of Vivid Description

When writing a memoir essay, it is crucial to go beyond just recounting events. The use of vivid description can transport readers into the heart of your story, making it a truly immersive experience. By incorporating sensory details, figurative language, and evocative imagery, you can bring your memories to life and create a lasting impact on your readers.

2. Bring Characters to Life with Dialogue

Dialogue is a powerful tool in memoir writing, allowing you to breathe life into your characters and drive the narrative forward. By capturing the nuances of speech, revealing hidden emotions, and using dialogue to move the plot forward, you can create dynamic and engaging interactions that resonate with your readers.

3. How to Use Reflection in Your Memoir Essay

Reflection adds depth and meaning to your memoir essay, allowing you to explore the significance of your experiences and connect them to broader themes. By analyzing the "why" behind the event, connecting it to universal themes, and using introspection to express your vulnerabilities, you can infuse your memoir with emotional resonance and personal insight.

4. Showcasing the Journey of Growth

A compelling memoir essay showcases your personal growth and transformation, illustrating how specific experiences or relationships have shaped you over time. By illustrating your growth through actions and choices, using contrasting scenes to highlight your evolution, and ending on a note of personal growth, you can create a powerful narrative arc that resonates with your readers.

notepad and a laptopn on a table - Memoir Essay

Reflecting on pivotal moments and turning points in your life is essential when choosing a topic for your memoir essay. These moments could be triumphs, losses, love, or transformations that profoundly impacted you. Consider experiences that have shaped your identity, values, or worldview and stand out vividly in your memory.

Emotional Impact

Emotional resonance is key to engaging readers in your memoir essay. Reflect on moments that made you laugh, cry, or feel deeply. These emotional moments provide a window into your soul and allow readers to connect with your story on a personal level.

Personal Growth and Lessons Learned

Exploring personal growth arcs in your life is another vital aspect to consider when choosing a memoir essay topic. Reflect on how you have evolved as a person and the lessons that life has taught you through challenges, mistakes, or unexpected twists. Sharing your insights can inspire and resonate with readers who may be going through similar experiences.

Universal Appeal

While your memoir essay is deeply personal, aiming for themes that resonate universally can make your story more relatable to a wider audience. Consider themes such as love and relationships, identity and self-discovery, resilience and overcoming adversity, journeys and travel, loss and grief, as well as career and passion pursuits. These themes can help your memoir essay connect with readers on a profound level.

Jotbot is your personal document assistant. Jotbot does AI note-taking, AI video summarizing, AI citation/source finder, it writes AI outlines for essays, and even writes entire essays with Jotbot’s AI essay writer. Join 500,000+ writers, students, teams, and researchers around the world to write more, write better, and write faster with Jotbot. Write smarter, not harder with Jotbot. Start writing for free with Jotbot today — sign in with Google and get started in seconds.

pen on a copy - Memoir Essay

1. Identifying Your Narrative Core

When you're writing a memoir essay that truly captures readers' attention, it's crucial to identify the core of your narrative. This means delving into your life experiences to uncover the moments that truly define you. Here are some brainstorming strategies you can use to uncover your narrative core:

Thematic Exploration

Take a journey through the themes of your life, such as loss, friendship, or overcoming adversity. Identify specific moments that epitomize these themes and consider how they've shaped you.

Sensory Prompts

Recall vivid experiences by engaging your senses. Think about a specific smell, taste, or childhood object that brings back powerful memories. These sensory details will help you bring your story to life.

Turning Points

Reflect on pivotal moments that have significantly changed your life or your perspective. These moments often hold the key to understanding who you are and why you've become that way.

2. The Criteria for Choosing a Captivating Topic

Your memoir essay should be about more than just any story from your life. To truly captivate readers, you need to choose a topic that meets certain criteria. Here are some things to consider when selecting your story:

Choose an experience that evokes strong emotions in you. If you feel deeply about the story you're telling, your readers are more likely to as well.

Universality

Can readers connect with the story you're telling on a broader level? Look for experiences that resonate with the human experience and the emotions we all share.

Personal Significance

The best memoir essays tell stories that have had a lasting impact on the author. Consider the experiences that have shaped you, challenged you, or changed your life in meaningful ways.

3. How To Build a Memorable Narrative Persona

A key to writing a memoir essay that readers won't forget is to create a strong narrative persona. This persona is the voice through which your story is told, and it should be unique, engaging, and authentic. Here's how you can develop your narrative persona:

Identifying Your Voice

Take some time to analyze your natural writing style. Are you humorous, reflective, or descriptive? Understanding your personal tendencies will help you craft a narrative persona that feels true to you.

Building Your Narrative Voice

Consider the literary influences that have shaped your writing style. What authors or genres resonate with you? You can draw on these influences as you develop your narrative voice.

4. Crafting a Memorable Ending

Every great memoir essay needs a memorable ending. This is the final chance to leave a lasting impression on your reader, so make it count. Here are some strategies for crafting a memorable ending to your memoir essay:

Circle Back to the Introduction

Offer a sense of closure by connecting back to the beginning of your essay. This can create a sense of symmetry and completion that leaves your reader satisfied.

Reveal a Transformation

Show how the experience you've shared has shaped you into the person you are now. This transformation is often at the heart of a memoir essay and can make for a powerful ending.

A Lingering Thought

End your essay with a question or a thought-provoking reflection that will stay with your readers long after they've finished reading. This can prompt further contemplation and leave a lasting impact.

opened pages - Memoir Essay

1. Eat, Pray, and Love by Elizabeth Gilbert 

(https://www.mwediting.com/memoir-topics-with-examples/) 

2. The Book “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed Essay 

(https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-book-wild-by-cheryl-strayed/)

3. Wild: a journey from lost to found by Strayed  

(https://archive.org/details/wildjourneyfroml0000stra)

• Words To Start A Paragraph • Essay Structure • Types Of Essays • How To Write A Narrative Essay • Synthesis Essay • Descriptive Essay • How To Start Off An Essay • How To Write An Analytical Essay • Write Me A Paragraph • How To Write A Synthesis Essay

person working on a laptop - Memoir Essay

When writing a memoir essay, it is crucial to embrace vulnerability. Readers are drawn to stories that reveal the writer's true self and expose their raw emotions. By sharing personal tales and experiences with readers, writers can form deeper connections. It can be terrifying to share personal stories, but vulnerability is what makes memoirs compelling. Readers relate to vulnerability, and it encourages them to open up about their experiences. 

Embracing vulnerability in your memoir essay allows readers to connect with your story on an intimate level. When readers recognize themselves in your narrative, they are more likely to engage with your work on a deeper level. Vulnerability taps into emotions that are universal, enabling your readers to see themselves in your story. When writers embrace vulnerability, they create an emotional bond with their readers.

Overcoming Writer’s Block

Writer's block is a common challenge faced by memoir writers. It can be frustrating when you want to write but cannot find the words. When writer's block strikes, I use Jotbot to generate an outline for my memoir essay. Jotbot helps me organize my thoughts and ideas, which enables me to write more cohesively. With Jotbot, I can focus on specific sections of my memoir essay, allowing me to overcome writer's block.

Jotbot's AI essay writer helps me with sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation. When I struggle with a sentence, I use Jotbot to revise it. Jotbot helps me to write complete sentences and improve my grammar. I love how Jotbot helps me improve my writing skills. Writing my memoir essay with Jotbot allows me to concentrate on my writing and not worry about sentence structure or grammar.

Creating a Memorable Memoir Opening

When writing a memoir essay, the opening should grab the reader’s attention. A strong opening sets the stage for the rest of the essay. I like to begin my memoir essays with an anecdote or a compelling quote to draw readers in. By starting with a vivid image or a powerful statement, I can spark readers’ curiosity and make them eager to read more.

Jotbot assists me in creating an opening for my memoir essay that hooks readers from the beginning. Jotbot helps me to generate a catchy introduction that sets the tone for the rest of the essay. With Jotbot , I can create a memorable opening that captivates readers and compels them to continue reading. Jotbot allows me to focus on crafting an engaging narrative instead of struggling to find the right words for the introduction.

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example of a thesis statement for a memoir

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How to Write a Memoir Essay

October 12, 2023

What is a Memoir Essay?

A memoir essay is a form of autobiographical writing that focuses on a specific aspect of the author’s life. Unlike a traditional autobiography, which typically covers the author’s entire life, a memoir essay hones in on a particular event, time period, or theme. It is a deeply personal and reflective piece that allows the writer to delve into their memories, thoughts, and emotions surrounding their chosen subject.

In a memoir essay, the author aims to not only recount the events that took place but also provide insight into the impact and meaning of those experiences. It is a unique opportunity for self-discovery and exploration, while also offering readers a glimpse into the author’s world. The beauty of a memoir essay lies in its ability to weave together personal anecdotes, vivid descriptions, and introspective reflections to create a compelling narrative.

Writing a memoir essay can be both challenging and rewarding. It requires careful selection of memories, thoughtful introspection, and skillful storytelling. The process allows the writer to make sense of their past, gain a deeper understanding of themselves, and share their unique story with others.

Choosing a Topic for Your Memoir Essay

Selecting the right topic is crucial to write a good memoir essay. It sets the foundation for what you will explore and reveal in your personal narrative. When choosing a topic, it’s essential to reflect on your significant life experiences and consider what stories or themes hold the most meaning for you.

One approach is to think about moments or events that have had a profound impact on your life. Consider times of triumph or adversity, moments of exploration or self-discovery, relationships that have shaped you, or challenges you have overcome. These experiences can provide a rich foundation for your memoir essay.

Another option is to focus on a specific theme or aspect of your life. You might explore topics such as identity, family dynamics, cultural heritage, career milestones, or personal beliefs. By centering your essay around a theme, you can weave together various memories and reflections to create a cohesive narrative.

It’s also important to consider your target audience. Who do you want to connect with through your memoir essay? Understanding your audience’s interests and experiences can help you choose a topic that will resonate with them.

Ultimately, the topic should be one that excites you and allows for introspection and self-discovery. Choose a topic that ignites your passion and offers a story worth sharing.

Possible Memoir Essay Topics

  • Childhood Memories
  • Family Dynamics
  • Life-altering Events
  • Overcoming Societal Expectations
  • Love and Loss
  • Self-discovery and Transformation
  • Lessons from Nature
  • Journey from Darkness to Light
  • Triumphing Over Adversities
  • Life’s Defining Moments

Outlining the Structure of Your Memoir Essay

Writing a memoir essay allows you to share your personal experiences, reflections, and insights with others. However, before you start pouring your thoughts onto the page, it’s essential to outline the structure of your essay. This not only provides a clear roadmap for your writing but also helps you maintain a cohesive and engaging narrative.

First, consider the opening. Begin with a captivating introduction that hooks the reader and establishes the theme or central message of your memoir. This is your chance to grab their attention and set the tone for the rest of the essay.

Next, move on to the body paragraphs. Divide your essay into sections that chronologically or thematically explore different aspects of your life or experiences. Use vivid descriptions, anecdotes, and dialogue to bring your memories to life. It’s crucial to maintain a logical flow and transition smoothly between different ideas or events.

As you approach the conclusion, summarize the key points you’ve discussed and reflect on the significance of your experiences. What lessons have you learned? How have you grown or changed as a result? Wrap up your memoir essay by leaving the reader with a memorable takeaway or a thought-provoking question.

Remember, the structure of your memoir essay should support your storytelling and allow for a genuine and authentic exploration of your experiences. By outlining your essay’s structure, you’ll have a solid foundation to create a compelling and impactful memoir that resonates with your readers.

How to Write an Introduction for Your Memoir Essay

The introduction of your memoir essay sets the stage for your story and captivates your readers from the very beginning. It is your opportunity to grab their attention, establish the tone, and introduce the central theme of your memoir.

To create a compelling introduction, consider starting with a hook that intrigues your readers. This can be a surprising fact, a thought-provoking question, or a vivid description that immediately draws them in. Your goal is to make them curious and interested in what you have to say.

Next, provide a brief overview of what your memoir essay will explore. Give your readers a glimpse into the key experiences or aspects of your life that you will be sharing. However, avoid giving away too much detail. Leave room for anticipation and curiosity to keep them engaged.

Additionally, consider how you want to establish the tone of your memoir. Will it be reflective, humorous, or nostalgic? Choose your words and phrasing carefully to convey the right emotions and set the right atmosphere for your story.

Finally, end your introduction with a clear and concise thesis statement. This statement should express the central theme or message that your memoir will convey. It serves as a roadmap for your essay and guides your readers in understanding the purpose and significance of your memoir.

By crafting a strong and captivating introduction for your memoir essay, you will draw readers in and make them eager to dive into the rich and personal journey that awaits them.

Write the Main Body of Your Memoir Essay

When developing the main body of your memoir essay, it’s essential to structure your thoughts and experiences in a clear and engaging manner. Here are some tips to help you effectively organize and develop the main body of your essay:

  • Chronological Structure: Consider organizing your memoir essay in chronological order, following the sequence of events as they occurred in your life. This allows for a natural flow and a clear timeline that helps readers understand your personal journey.
  • Thematic Structure: Alternatively, you can focus on specific themes or lessons that emerged from your experiences. This approach allows for a more focused exploration of different aspects of your life, even if they did not occur in a linear order.
  • Use Vivid Details: Use sensory details, descriptive language, and engaging storytelling techniques to bring your memories to life. Transport your readers to the settings, evoke emotions, and create a vivid picture of the events and people in your life.
  • Show, Don’t Tell: Instead of simply stating facts, show your readers the experiences through engaging storytelling. Use dialogue, scenes, and anecdotes to make your memoir more dynamic and immersive.
  • Reflections and Insights: Share your reflections on the events and experiences in your memoir. Offer deeper insights, lessons learned, and personal growth that came from these moments. Invite readers to reflect on their own lives and connect with your journey.

By organizing your main body in a logical and engaging manner, using vivid details, and offering thoughtful reflections, you can write a compelling memoir essay that captivates your readers and leaves a lasting impact.

Reflecting on Lessons Learned in Your Memoir Essay

One of the powerful aspects of a memoir essay is the opportunity to reflect on the lessons learned from your personal experiences. These reflections provide deeper insights and meaning to your story, leaving a lasting impact on your readers. Here are some tips for effectively reflecting on lessons learned in your memoir essay:

  • Summarize Key Points: In the conclusion of your essay, summarize the key events and experiences you have shared throughout your memoir. Briefly remind readers of the significant moments that shaped your journey.
  • Identify Core Themes: Reflect on the core themes and messages that emerged from your experiences. What did you learn about resilience, love, identity, or perseverance? Identify the overarching lessons that you want to convey.
  • Offer Personal Insights: Share your personal insights and reflections on how these lessons have influenced your life. Were there specific turning points or moments of epiphany? How have these experiences shaped your beliefs, values, or actions?
  • Connect to the Reader: Make your reflections relatable to your readers. Explore how the lessons you learned can resonate with their own lives and experiences. This allows them to connect with your story on a deeper level.
  • Offer a Call to Action: Encourage readers to reflect on their own lives and consider how the lessons from your memoir can apply to their own journeys. Pose thought-provoking questions or suggest actions they can take to apply these insights.

By reflecting on the lessons learned in your memoir essay, you give your readers a chance to contemplate their own lives and find inspiration in your personal growth. These reflections add depth and impact to your storytelling, making your memoir essay truly memorable.

Crafting a Strong Conclusion for Your Memoir Essay

The conclusion of your memoir essay is your final opportunity to leave a lasting impression on your readers. It is where you tie together the threads of your story and offer a sense of closure and reflection. Here are some tips to help you craft a strong conclusion for your memoir essay:

  • Summarize the Journey: Remind your readers of the key moments and experiences you shared throughout your essay. Briefly summarize the significant events and emotions that shaped your personal journey.
  • Revisit the Central Theme: Reiterate the central theme or message of your memoir. Emphasize the lessons learned, personal growth, or insights gained from your experiences. This helps reinforce the purpose and impact of your story.
  • Reflect on Transformation: Reflect on how you have transformed as a result of the events and experiences you shared. Share the growth, self-discovery, or newfound perspectives that have shaped your life.
  • Leave a Lasting Impression: Use powerful and evocative language to leave a lasting impact on your readers. Craft a memorable phrase or thought that lingers in their minds even after they finish reading your essay.
  • Offer a Call to Action or Reflection: Encourage your readers to take action or reflect on their own lives. Pose thought-provoking questions, suggest further exploration, or challenge them to apply the lessons from your memoir to their own experiences.

By crafting a strong conclusion, you ensure that your memoir essay resonates with your readers long after they have finished reading it. It leaves them with a sense of closure, inspiration, and a deeper understanding of the transformative power of personal storytelling.

Editing and Proofreading Your Memoir Essay

Editing and proofreading are crucial steps in the writing process that can greatly enhance the quality and impact of your memoir essay. Here are some tips to help you effectively edit and proofread your work:

  • Take a Break: After completing your initial draft, take a break before starting the editing process. This allows you to approach your essay with fresh eyes and a clear mind.
  • Review for Structure and Flow: Read through your essay to ensure it has a logical structure and flows smoothly. Check that your paragraphs and sections transition seamlessly, guiding readers through your story.
  • Trim and Refine: Eliminate any unnecessary or repetitive information. Trim down long sentences and paragraphs to make your writing concise and impactful. Consider the pacing and ensure that each word contributes to the overall story.
  • Check for Clarity and Consistency: Ensure that your ideas and thoughts are expressed clearly. Identify any confusing or vague passages and revise them to improve clarity. Check for consistency in tense, tone, and voice throughout your essay.
  • Proofread for Errors: Carefully proofread your essay for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. Pay attention to common mistakes such as subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and punctuation marks. Consider using spell-checking tools or having someone else review your work for an objective perspective.
  • Seek Feedback: Share your memoir essay with a trusted friend, family member, or writing partner. Their feedback can provide valuable insights and help you identify areas for improvement.

By dedicating time to edit and proofread your memoir essay, you ensure that it is polished, coherent, and error-free. These final touches enhance the reader’s experience and allow your story to shine.

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How to Write a Memoir Essay to Remember

Memoir Essay 101. Sample Included

A memoir essay is one of the most exciting and introspective assignments you can receive in high school or college. If you were lucky enough to get to write this piece, but have no idea where to start, let me enlighten you. I’ll explain what it is, the thought process behind this essay type, and divulge three tips to make it perfect. Stay with me till the end, and I’ll share a memoir essay sample to inspire your writing.

What Is a Memoir Essay?

It is easy to guess that memoirs are nothing but memories on paper. They are akin to autobiography, but with an added twist. Where autobiographies are usually factual and a bit dry, memoir essays are rich with analysis, reflection, and even sidenotes. These make them a more pleasurable read, especially if you have the writing talent to make your piece captivating and exciting.

A memoir essay does not have to span your whole life, even if you are still in your twenties. It can tell about a particular period of your teenage years, your early childhood, or the gap year you took to travel abroad. The list of memoir essay ideas is endless, and you can choose the story you want to tell. However, be mindful of oversharing or divulging the facts you would rather stay unknown. You can also add a bit of creativity to your memoir by including vivid dreams you’ve had or your plans for the near future.

How to Write a Memoir Essay in 4 Easy Steps

Everyone’s writing process is different, but I find that these four stages are crucial to all assignments, memoir piece included:

Narrow Down the Storyline

There are dozens of memoir essay ideas available to you (I’ve already mentioned a couple). Periods of change, struggle, conflict are usually a safe bet, though you can also describe the most uneventful year of your life and fill the story with everyday rituals. You can narrow down your story to one month or scale it up to a decade of your life. Make sure the time period you choose tells one story. Otherwise, narrow it down further or split your essay into several parts, if the assignment allows it.

Outline the Story

Note all the important events you want to describe and leave enough room for reflections and analysis. Your story cannot simply contain the dry facts, or it will turn into an autobiography. Open the piece by introducing yourself, setting the time parameters of the story, and the thesis statement. Then go through the pivotal events and round up the outline with a conclusion that completes the story. You can also hint at the events that followed and leave the essay open-ended.

Write Your Tell-all

With an idea and outline ready, all you need to do is flesh out your story. Think of it as writing a diary or a journal, and the words will flow out of you onto the screen. If writing in chronological order is challenging, try starting with the most exciting part and extending the piece from there.

Get a Second Opinion

Never skip the post-writing routine of editing, proofreading, and formatting. Getting a second pair of eyes on your story is always a great idea, but if you don’t have that option, leave your memoirs essay for a while and come back to it in few days. Fresh eyes do wonders for finding unnecessary tangents and typos.

Three Quick Tips For Writing Memoir Essays

I’ve taken you through the paces, but now it’s time to step above the basics. When you follow the steps above, keep these three tips in mind, and your memoir essay will gain depth and the power to captivate the readers:

  • Show, don’t tell. I know it’s old and beaten, but this advice works every time! Breathe life into your essay with the smell of the freshly mowed lawn, the sound of bacon sizzling in the kitchen, the taste of your mum’s rhubarb pie. Every detail makes your memoir essay more real for the reader, draws them in, and compels to read on.
  • Research your history. Put on your Indiana Jones fedora and go digging into the old photo albums, diaries, letters. Talk to the people who were around you at the time you want to describe. They will share the perspective and details (cue tip #1) you might not remember. If nothing else, their stories might tickle your memory.
  • Remain objective. When writing a  personal memoir essay , you might be tempted to paint yourself a flawless hero beating all odds and overcoming insurmountable obstacles. Another extreme is showing yourself as a helpless victim of circumstance unable to change your destiny. Neither of these will make your story relatable. Instead, show your true colors, the struggles you’ve gone through, the problems you’ve had. Conflict makes for a captivating story.

Memoir Essay Example Worthy of Modelling

I am not a big fan of using other people’s work as a pattern to replicate in your writing. However, it is undoubtedly true that the more you read high-quality non-fiction pieces, the better your academic writing  is likely to get. Your brain works as a recorder that consumes information before processing and replaying it. Therein lies the problem with reading one memoirs essay sample too many. You might not even notice your unconscious use of another’s style, phrases, or outline.

Another downside of reading samples is their low quality. Whenever you google a memoir essay example, you cannot know who has written it and what grade they have received (if they are a student). Relying on second-grade writing to guide your essay will never result in high grades.

If you want quality samples, look for personal memoir essay contests and winning entries. You can also check out non-fiction magazines that publish life stories. Even if the journal is published online, there is a higher chance of stumbling across quality writing there than on random blogs.

Example of memoir essay

One last word of caution: do not get caught up in reading samples. It is yet another procrastination tactic your brain wants to embrace. Reading outstanding writing is easier than opening a blank file and filling it with your life story. However, professors don’t award points for reading, they expect on-time submissions. Set a maximum number of samples you read at three or five and move on to outlining and writing.

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  • How to Write a Thesis Statement | 4 Steps & Examples

How to Write a Thesis Statement | 4 Steps & Examples

Published on January 11, 2019 by Shona McCombes . Revised on August 15, 2023 by Eoghan Ryan.

A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . It usually comes near the end of your introduction .

Your thesis will look a bit different depending on the type of essay you’re writing. But the thesis statement should always clearly state the main idea you want to get across. Everything else in your essay should relate back to this idea.

You can write your thesis statement by following four simple steps:

  • Start with a question
  • Write your initial answer
  • Develop your answer
  • Refine your thesis statement

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Table of contents

What is a thesis statement, placement of the thesis statement, step 1: start with a question, step 2: write your initial answer, step 3: develop your answer, step 4: refine your thesis statement, types of thesis statements, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about thesis statements.

A thesis statement summarizes the central points of your essay. It is a signpost telling the reader what the essay will argue and why.

The best thesis statements are:

  • Concise: A good thesis statement is short and sweet—don’t use more words than necessary. State your point clearly and directly in one or two sentences.
  • Contentious: Your thesis shouldn’t be a simple statement of fact that everyone already knows. A good thesis statement is a claim that requires further evidence or analysis to back it up.
  • Coherent: Everything mentioned in your thesis statement must be supported and explained in the rest of your paper.

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The thesis statement generally appears at the end of your essay introduction or research paper introduction .

The spread of the internet has had a world-changing effect, not least on the world of education. The use of the internet in academic contexts and among young people more generally is hotly debated. For many who did not grow up with this technology, its effects seem alarming and potentially harmful. This concern, while understandable, is misguided. The negatives of internet use are outweighed by its many benefits for education: the internet facilitates easier access to information, exposure to different perspectives, and a flexible learning environment for both students and teachers.

You should come up with an initial thesis, sometimes called a working thesis , early in the writing process . As soon as you’ve decided on your essay topic , you need to work out what you want to say about it—a clear thesis will give your essay direction and structure.

You might already have a question in your assignment, but if not, try to come up with your own. What would you like to find out or decide about your topic?

For example, you might ask:

After some initial research, you can formulate a tentative answer to this question. At this stage it can be simple, and it should guide the research process and writing process .

Now you need to consider why this is your answer and how you will convince your reader to agree with you. As you read more about your topic and begin writing, your answer should get more detailed.

In your essay about the internet and education, the thesis states your position and sketches out the key arguments you’ll use to support it.

The negatives of internet use are outweighed by its many benefits for education because it facilitates easier access to information.

In your essay about braille, the thesis statement summarizes the key historical development that you’ll explain.

The invention of braille in the 19th century transformed the lives of blind people, allowing them to participate more actively in public life.

A strong thesis statement should tell the reader:

  • Why you hold this position
  • What they’ll learn from your essay
  • The key points of your argument or narrative

The final thesis statement doesn’t just state your position, but summarizes your overall argument or the entire topic you’re going to explain. To strengthen a weak thesis statement, it can help to consider the broader context of your topic.

These examples are more specific and show that you’ll explore your topic in depth.

Your thesis statement should match the goals of your essay, which vary depending on the type of essay you’re writing:

  • In an argumentative essay , your thesis statement should take a strong position. Your aim in the essay is to convince your reader of this thesis based on evidence and logical reasoning.
  • In an expository essay , you’ll aim to explain the facts of a topic or process. Your thesis statement doesn’t have to include a strong opinion in this case, but it should clearly state the central point you want to make, and mention the key elements you’ll explain.

If you want to know more about AI tools , college essays , or fallacies make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples or go directly to our tools!

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A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . Everything else you write should relate to this key idea.

The thesis statement is essential in any academic essay or research paper for two main reasons:

  • It gives your writing direction and focus.
  • It gives the reader a concise summary of your main point.

Without a clear thesis statement, an essay can end up rambling and unfocused, leaving your reader unsure of exactly what you want to say.

Follow these four steps to come up with a thesis statement :

  • Ask a question about your topic .
  • Write your initial answer.
  • Develop your answer by including reasons.
  • Refine your answer, adding more detail and nuance.

The thesis statement should be placed at the end of your essay introduction .

Cite this Scribbr article

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McCombes, S. (2023, August 15). How to Write a Thesis Statement | 4 Steps & Examples. Scribbr. Retrieved August 24, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/academic-essay/thesis-statement/

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How to Write Memoir: Examples, Tips, and Ideas for School &College students

How to Write Memoir: Examples, Tips, and Ideas for School &College students

Everyone has the right to write his memoir; there is no need to become famous. If you want to write your memoirs quickly and successfully, our article will help you. It has all the helpful information for writing and practical examples and instructions on how to write an outline.

  • ✔️ What Is a Memoir

✨ Memoir Examples and Ideas

  • 🖊 ️ How to Write a Memoir

🔗 References

✔️ what is a memoir.

A memoir is a genre of non-fiction in which the author recounts specific historical events that they witnessed or participated in . This type of work can show either the author’s entire life as a biography or a particular event that they experienced.

What is a memoir? Definition.

Memoir Characteristics

Initially, the memoir genre acted as a subjective description of the past through the prism of the author’s life in it. An essential feature of memoirs is the claim for the authenticity of the reconstructed history and, accordingly, the documentary nature of the text, although, in reality, not all memoirs are truthful and accurate.

They have several stylistic features of memoir:

  • Clear relevance to the history
  • Factoriality
  • Chronological narrative

Examples of memoirs can be diaries, notebooks, correspondence, memos, or travel notes.

You can get a better idea of what a memoir is in our free essays database.

Memoir vs. Autobiography

Despite the outward similarities between these types of literature, there is still a difference between memoir and autobiographical literature. They are entirely different genres that are independent and complete works.

Criterion Memoir Autobiography
Focus One period in the author’s life Author’s entire life
The writer Anyone Protagonist
Reader Interest Interested in a particular story Learning about a specific person
Chronology No strict chronological order Strict chronological order
Emphasis on writing Personal experience and the intrinsic Facts and how the writer himself fits into the historical record
Moment of writing Can be written anytime Usually written later in life
Writing style Free writing style Formal style

The best way to understand how to write this type of work is to see examples. That’s why we’ve given you examples of 100-word student memoirs below.

1. I dreamed of being an artist and becoming a doctor, and I don’t regret it. The dream of becoming a journalist has haunted me since my childhood. Back then, I was a very young boy, inspired by late-night TV shows and concerts. Those were glorious times when the well-known rock bands performed on stages, the real heroes. Wanting to become the darling of the audience, a hero like these guys, from time to time, I picked up a comb and sang into it in front of the mirror, impersonating the lead singer of one of them. Time passed, and fate had it so that now – 10 years later – I’m an emergency room doctor. You’d think my dream never came true. But it wasn’t. Over time, I realized that even though I do not have colossal fame and am not a hero to many teenagers, I did what I wanted – every day, I and my colleagues save lives. 2. Being sad for no reason frustrates me. For me, sadness can even be pleasant; justifying it in any way I can – I can imagine myself in that person’s shoes, listening to the sad music of the main character in a dramatic movie. I can look out the window as I cry and think, “This is so sad. I can’t even believe how sad this whole situation is.” Even reproducing my sadness can bring an entire theater audience to tears.” Feeling sorry for myself in times of sorrow intensifies it in me at such moments. 3. 1998 – This was the year my life changed. My friends and I went on a mountain trip, and as we were climbing rocks, I got oxygen deprivation at a certain altitude. Then my life was saved by people close to me. It was a moment after which I decided to live each year as if it were my last. It meant spending two years in New York City and focusing on loving life. It meant making new friends. It meant saying yes to many other things. It meant that my priorities were no longer the same as most.

If you would like to see more extensive examples of memoirs, the Fictional Memoir of Kerry Brodie and the Sociological Mini-Memoir on Personality Development would be remarkable for that.

6-word Memoir Examples

It is not necessary to write many paragraphs. Sometimes only 6 words are enough. There is a type of memoir of just one sentence. Mostly they are quotes from famous people, but no one forbids everyone to compose them. Here are some 6-word memoir examples:

  • Unrehearsed, honest, unstoppable, and succeeding gradually
  • Because of my big dreams, I’m always stressed.
  • Every day is thinking of dreams , still thinking.
  • The supremacy of reason over the dictatorship of emotion.
  • Never let anyone steal your joy !
  • Keep up the fight! Don’t give up .
  • Loved his soul, not his money.
  • A dream journey for all of us.
  • At first glance, she was gentle.
  • I was happy , and then I wasn’t.
  • The right choice saves lives.

Memoir Prompts

To write a memoir, you must first choose a topic. Here are prompt ideas to help you:

  • Write about your first love.
  • Write how you survived the 2020 crisis.
  • Write about the best trip of your life.
  • Discuss friendship and what it means in your life.
  • What are some of the things you regret that you didn’t do?
  • Explain what you have too much of and what you have not had enough of in your life.
  • Write about how you got into trouble.
  • Tell me what aspect of your personality you are proud of.
  • Write about what kind of music helped you cope with stress .
  • Tell me how you felt when your father taught you to ride a bicycle .
  • Tell about a situation in your life when you were insanely happy.
  • Tell us about your most reckless purchase.
  • Write about a goal that was easy for you to achieve.
  • Discuss how you met your friends.
  • Talk about a situation that is beyond your understanding.

Memoir Topics

What are some excellent memoir topics? Check out the list of memoir ideas:

  • Hiking with friends in the mountains. 
  • How I survived Hurricane Katrina . 
  • Breathtaking Victoria Peak in Tokyo. 
  • Moving to another country left a mark on me. 
  • A man who saved my life. 
  • The problem of gun control and how it affected me. 
  • The lawsuits between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard led to a confrontation between my friends. 
  • The time when I lived in a house with a beautiful view of the mountains. 
  • A strange incident happened in my home in the middle of the night. 
  • Watching my favorite movie with my family. 
  • Fear of flying an airplane. 
  • Today I’m glad I made the right choice. 
  • My best friend at school. 
  • My car broke down in the middle of a mountain road. 
  • I didn’t get to be a designer . 
  • I never got to make up with my grandfather. 
  • A long trip to Europe. 
  • Switzerland won my heart. 
  • My favorite dish and memories associated with it. 
  • The war in Yugoslavia left a mark on me. 
  • How I found the courage to say “NO.” 
  • Surfing in Bali. 
  • The most horrible injury of my life. 
  • Winning a chess competition. 
  • Studying at Harvard . 
  • I didn’t help a man in trouble, and karma found me. 
  • Organizing the most massive event in town. 
  • Playing in the casino made me poor. 
  • The job that made me brave. 
  • The plane crash I survived. 

🖊️ How to Write a Memoir

Now you can get out your pen and paper and start writing. Any work has specific rules and structure, and memoirs are no exception.

When you are writing a memoir, organizing all your memories makes sense. A peculiarity of this genre is that the author recalls their emotions and impressions as they write. They can negatively affect the work because they can mess up the structure and order. In addition, you may accidentally start telling stories that run parallel to the main story and “go astray.”

A well-written memoir synopsis will help you prevent this.

How to write a memoir outline?

Here are a few steps:

  • Represent the main character . There will also necessarily be an antagonist in a person, situation, or circumstance. You need to “hook the reader’s interest in the first act. Examples of a successful hook will be below.
  • Involve some drama, conflict, and critical events . All of your emotions need to be revealed, as do all of the events. In this part, your problems become more entangled and complex, as shown through scenes of actions and reactions that highlight your journey of change, transformation, and discovery of true or false.
  • The drama, conflicts, and problems reach a climax , and the person (you) has completed the action, having had the experience. There are many endings in which the reader feels happy, sad, satisfied, with cause for reflection, etc. But the ending should always leave the reader feeling that the story is complete.

You can use this memoir outline template when writing your work:

Memoir outline template.

Memoir Introduction

A memoir should reveal intense, exciting, and real-life discoveries from the first lines to the end of the first chapter. If you are just beginning to write your memoir, follow these writing tips on how to start:

  • Engage. There’s nothing like a gripping hook to keep the reader engaged. Elizabeth Gilbert, for example, opens her bestseller Eat, Pray, Love with an intimate moment.
  • Build credibility. From the beginning, tell your story as if you’re sharing a secret you’ve never told anyone. This approach makes the reader a confidant and builds trust from the start.
  • Evoke emotion . Write your first pages from the heart. Use language that resonates with people on an emotional level. One of the best ways to evoke emotion in your reader is to talk about yourself.
  • Lead the story with a laugh. Try leading with humor, whether you’re writing about your childhood or your memoir is about a darker story.
  • Reveal a dramatic moment . Choose a dramatic moment to begin your memoir. You can revisit the event in more detail later, but it may interest the reader if you share a compelling glimpse of what is to come.
  • Think like a fiction writer . A memoir is the true story of your life, but it should also include the structural elements of fiction. In your exposition, be sure to set the stage for the rest of the book by establishing yourself as the protagonist, laying out the source of the conflict, and highlighting the central theme.
  • Keep it relevant. There are a million little details and life experiences that can be interesting on their own, but if they don’t support your story, you should exclude them.
  • Chronology in the introduction is optional . Start writing the part of the story that inspires you the most, and then go back to your beginning after you finish your first draft. As you register, you will find the perfect start.

Memoir Hook Examples

As mentioned earlier, the memoir structure involves having a clear that draws the reader in the hook.

What’s it for?

First, the hook arouses the reader’s interest. Second, it reveals a situation, a feeling, an emotion, or all of these in a thesis statement. This gives the reader a chance to understand what the story will be about and get attention.

Effective hook characteristics:

  • 1-2 sentences
  • Brings emotions
  • Goes beyond a memoir

You can see a great hook in a live example of a memoir, as well as in the examples below:

  • At the Chess Olympiad then, everyone gave me a standing ovation.
  • At that moment, I was one of the first to feel the fear of death.
  • Broken knees and even my nose, but I still tried to pedal, getting on my bike time after time.
  • I heard a scream. Something terrible had happened.
  • The waterfall overshadowed all my memories with its beauty, even my first love.
  • Few have spent their lives in Africa treating tigers.
  • It’s about a historical event
  • I was sure my parachute wouldn’t open
  • The mass shooting at Columbine Middle School. I would have rather died than my friends.
  • All the students were amazed to see an elderly professor doing somersaults, demonstrating the laws of physics.

Memoir Conclusion Examples

As you know, your story must have a beginning and an end. In the end, there needs to be a conclusion. Describe what you got out of your situation, how your life changed afterward, or what you gained or lost. You may want to jump back in time, perhaps many years in advance, to complete your story and summarize it for readers long after the “period” your memoir covers has ended.

And now, grab these memoir conclusion examples:

1. This journey along the river took all my energy. But it was nothing compared to the people I got to know. Billy, Miles, and Ashley seemed like strangers to me, but now we talk every day, and we see each other on weekends, reminiscing about our shared adventures on the Mississippi. 2. The moment the hurricane grabbed me and lifted me into the air, something changed in my mind. I thought I was about to die and was ready to accept it. But fate gave me a chance for salvation, and I took it. After that event, I became a different person; I rethought all the values in life and began to look at problems from another side. Although the trauma of that day still affects me, I’m happy with how my life has changed. 3. For a week after I had recovered from my serious injury, I had not heard from my unit in Afghanistan. The doctors told me not to get nervous, and no one gave me any information. Then on Wednesday, at 2 p.m., I heard the doorbell ring. It was Sean, the deputy squad leader, and a couple of other privates from our squad, safe and sound. A feeling of joy immediately filled me, and they broke into my house and started giving me a friendly hug and patting me on the back. All I could think about was how glad I was that they were in one piece, and the phrase kept rolling through my head, “We did it, Sean, we did it.”

These are just a few examples of the completion of a memoir. It’s enough to get the gist of a well-written.

As you can see, anyone can write a memoir, and it’s not as hard as it sounds. Now that you know how to write an outline, an introduction, and a conclusion, you have seen short memoir examples. You will write a fantastic memoir.

Don’t forget to share this article with your friends.

What Are the 5 Parts of a Memoir?

A memoir should contain 5 crucial elements: the truth, theme, first-person narration style, voice, and perception. The focused theme, demonstration of a specific event or experience, and conflict. The writing style of your memoir should be straightforward and spare. Supporting details will add charm to your memoir, and giving elements to your narrative will help the reader relive some of the emotions you experienced.

What Is the Purpose of a Memoir?

A memoir’s primary purpose is to recall an event from the past and present it to the reader in an exciting way. At the same time, it is necessary to conclude that it will be interesting for your audience.

What Is a Personal Memoir?

The essence of a personal memoir is that you write about what happened to you personally. Remember how you felt in those moments, and sincerely communicate that in your work. Only you can tell the story of your life that will make others more prosperous spiritually. A memoir about yourself examples is in the article.

How Many Words Should Be In a Memoir?

The standard size of a memoir is about 60,000 to 80,000 words. That’s about the size of the average novel. Can a memoir be smaller, like 40,000 words? Sure. Its main point is for the author to tell a story to the reader.

What Is the Difference Between Memoir and Biography?

These two genres are generally similar and are part of non-fiction. The critical difference is that while a memoir focuses explicitly on a particular incident or experience and attempts to highlight a point of view, a biography presents chronological events from a specific person’s life without emphasizing a specific experience. Also, unlike memoirs, which emphasize individual emotions, biography tends to be more general.

  • The Personal Memoir: Purdue Writing Lab
  • Audience Considerations for ESL Writers: Introduction: Purdue Writing Lab
  • Making an Outline: USC Libraries
  • Outline Components: Purdue Writing Lab
  • Memoir | Definition, Examples, & Facts: Encyclopedia Britannica
  • What Is a Memoir? – Definition & Examples: Study.com
  • Six-Word Memoirs: UPENN
  • Writing a Memoir: Dallas Baptist University
  • Memoir: An Introduction: Oxford Scholarship
  • Writing Memoir | Monmouth University
  • Writing Lives: Autobiography in Fiction and Memoir – ANU
  • Biography and Memoir | CUNY Graduate Center
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18 Narrative and Memoir Essays

Narrative writing.

Holmes, Sherlock (Fictitious character) Furniture. Detectives. Smoking. Theatrical productions.

Human beings tell stories every day. We understand most of nature through stories. Though facts can be memorized, stories — the details, the description, the experience — make us believe.

Therefore, as we begin to study writing, we need to begin with the properties of the story. How do good storytellers make us believe? How can good writing draw a reader into a story? How can we harness the power of the story to make a point, even in a dry, academic context?

The purpose of narrative writing is to tell stories. This is a form we are familiar with, as any time we tell a story about an event or incident in our day, we are engaging in a form of narration. In terms of writing, narration is the act of describing a sequence of events. Sometimes this is the primary mode of an essay—writing a narrative essay about a particular event or experience, and sometimes this is a component used within an essay, much like other evidence is offered, to support a thesis. This chapter will discuss the basic components of narration, which can be applied either as a stand-alone essay or as a component within an essay.

Ultimately, narrative writing tries to relay a series of events in an emotionally engaging way. You want your audience to be moved by your story, which could mean through laughter, sympathy, fear, anger, and so on. The more clearly you tell your story, the more emotionally engaged your audience is likely to be.

Sherlock Holmes, a creation of the writer Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, has become one of the most famous detectives of all time — though he never lived. Have you heard of him? Why do you think this story perseveres? How can stories permeate our culture so thoroughly?

WHERE DO WE FIND NARRATIVE?

We talk about narrative writing in many ways. Books will introduce it as Narration, Narrative, and Storytelling. Narrative creeps into most of the other kinds of writing we learn about, too. Persuasive essays use short stories — often called anecdotes  — to engage a reader’s attention and sympathy. Consider the difference between these two openings to the same essay:

Statistics show that consistent seatbelt wearing is vital if passengers are to survive a moving vehicle accident. Though laws have been in place since the 1970s in most states mandating this behavior, some drivers and passengers resist because belts cause some discomfort. However, everyone should wear a seatbelt because they’ve been proven to save lives.
Timmy’s mother was in a hurry as they left the mall. He’d climbed into the backseat of their minivan and immediately started playing with his tablet, and his mother was in too much of a rush to fight him over putting on his seatbelt. They had to make it to his sister’s concert on time. The van rushed into traffic, and Timmy’s mother tried to beat a yellow light to make a left turn at the intersection — but someone else, coming from the other direction, had tried to do the same thing, and the car barreled into their van, connecting with the door beside Timmy with a sickening bang and crunch.

Which opening makes you want to read more? The second one engages its readers with a story — and we’re hard-wired, as humans, to want to hear the end of a story.

Television plays on this characteristic all the time. Think of your favorite show and the maddening, brief preview that starts before the credits roll. It’s always a quick snippet that makes you stay tuned because the writers and producers know their audience will sit through several minutes of mindless commercials just to find out how the story will continue.

In our own writing, we can use stories in just the same way. We can draw our readers into our own experiences, even if they’ve never been through anything even similar to what we have, by telling our own stories.

HOW DO WE WRITE A NARRATIVE?

A narrative essay is a piece that tells one consistent, cohesive story. In academic writing, a narrative essay will also always convey a lesson, a moral, or a point that the writer wishes the reader to take.

When we say “moral,” some people think of after-school specials and having “good behavior” tips crammed down their throat. However, the most powerful lessons conveyed through writing are often done with great subtlety. True, the punishing pace of writing expected in a college course may not leave enough time to develop a nuanced story — no one is going to churn out War and Peace  or even  The Hobbit  in ten weeks — but not every story has to have the moral stated clearly, in bold font, at the very beginning.

Think about it this way: When you were a kid, if your grandmother had sat you down and said, “Listen. We’re now going to have a thirty-minute conversation about how it’s really bad if you start smoking,” would you have listened? Probably not. If, however, your grandmother took you to visit your uncle Larry, who had terminal lung cancer, and then casually mentioned as you left that Larry had been smoking since he was your age — would you get the lesson? Would you remember it? Do you remember better the 200 lectures you had as a teenager about not being a bully, or do you remember the one time that you witnessed its effects firsthand?

In a narrative, we want to pull that same kind of trick on our readers: get our point across, but do it in a way that engages the imagination and attention. Use the power of the story.

The narrative relies on the same components that all good writing does: it needs detail, clear organization, and a central purpose (AKA our friends Development, Organization, and Unity).

NARRATIVE DEVELOPMENT: BRING THE DETAILS

Consider this passage from the very first Sherlock Holmes mystery, “A Study in Scarlet,” which describes a major character:

His face was lean and haggard, and the brown parchment-like skin was drawn tightly over the projecting bones; his long, brown hair and beard were all flecked and dashed with white; his eyes were sunken in his head, and burned with an unnatural luster; while the hand which grasped his rifle was hardly more fleshy than that of a skeleton. As he stood, he leaned upon his weapon for support, and yet his tall figure and the massive framework of his bones suggested a wiry and vigorous constitution. His gaunt face, however, and his clothes, which hung so baggily over his shriveled limbs, proclaimed what it was that gave him that senile and decrepit appearance. The man was dying—dying from hunger and from thirst.

The author includes detail upon detail to describe this gentleman. He could have simply said, “He was dying from hunger and from thirst,” which would tell us everything we need to know. Instead, he describes how these feelings have had an effect upon the man — he is  gaunt , he’s starting to look like a skeleton, and he can barely stand without the support of his rifle.

Think of the best book you’ve ever read (or the best television show you’ve ever watched, or the movie you love), and you may be able to relate to this. Good description is the difference between hearing a game on the radio and watching it live in the stadium (or on a ginormous 3-D television). The very breath of life in a narrative will always be your ability to describe a scene.

66 Chevelle Malibu SS396

This relies on the use of specific language. As you read through the revision section, you were encouraged to avoid phrases that your audience might find misleading. Consider this as you write a story. With every sentence, ask, “What does my audience know? What do they think?” If you say a car is “beautiful,” will your audience think of a 2018 Hybrid Honda Accord or of a 1966 Chevelle (pictured at right)? If there’s some doubt, change your words to reflect your meaning.

You may have heard the advice that asks you to “show, not tell” in writing. This is what we mean: be so descriptive in telling a story that the reader feels s/he is there beside you, seeing the swimming pool or the school’s front doors or the new car or the new child with his/her own eyes.

NARRATIVE ORGANIZATION

Narrative traditionally follows time order, or  chronological order , throughout. This seems obvious when you think about it — we tell stories in time order, starting (usually) at the beginning and working through to the end.

In an essay, pieces of the story can be organized into timespans by paragraph. For instance, if I’m describing a particularly harrowing day at work, I might have a paragraph just for the morning, and then a paragraph about my terrible lunch break, and then a paragraph about my afternoon.

Narrative essays usually can’t cover more ground than a day or two. Instead of writing about your entire vacation experience, study abroad month, two years of work at the plant, or 18 years living at home, focus on one particular experience that took place over a day or two. That’s enough for a reader to digest in a few pages, and it will also give you a chance to really lay in details without feeling rushed.

Sometimes, we start stories out of order. Many popular movies and television shows do this regularly by showing a clip of something that happens later before starting the whole show. If you’ve ever seen an episode of NCIS, you’ll be familiar with this technique: they start each section of the show with a photo of the ending scene, then start an hour or two before that scene in the live-action. Shows often jump to “One Week Earlier” between commercial breaks.

Think of the emotional impact that has upon you as a viewer. Again, it’s a trick the writers pull with their story to drive you through the boring/silly/pointless/insulting commercials so that you’ll stay with them. We want to know how the characters get to that end.

You can manipulate your audience in this way, too, but be careful; giving away too much of the ending may sometimes make a reader simply put down what they’re reading. It’s safer (though not always better) to just start at the beginning and write things down as they happened. Particularly in a first draft, sticking to the natural story order will be a good way to make sure nothing gets missed.

Chronological order , the order in which events unfold from first to last, is the most common organizational structure for narratives. Stories typically have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Certain transitional words and phrases aid in keeping the reader oriented in the sequencing of a story. Some of these phrases are listed below.

Figure 5.2 Transition Words and Phrases for Expressing Time

LOGICAL RELATIONSHIP

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TRANSITIONAL EXPRESSION

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The following are the other basic components of a narrative:

•  Plot . The events as they unfold in sequence.

•  Characters . The people who inhabit the story and move it forward. Typically, each narrative has there are minor characters and main characters. The minor characters generally play supporting roles to the main character, or the protagonist.

•  Conflict . The primary problem or obstacle that unfolds in the plot, which the protagonist must solve or overcome by the end of the narrative. The way in which the protagonist resolves the conflict of the plot results in the theme of the narrative.

•  Theme . The ultimate message the narrative is trying to express; it can be either explicit or implicit.

Writing at Work

When interviewing candidates for jobs, employers often ask about conflicts or problems a potential employee had to overcome. They are asking for a compelling personal narrative. To prepare for this question in a job interview, write out a scenario using the narrative moved structure. This will allow you to troubleshoot rough spots as well as better understand your own personal history. Both processes will make your story better and your self-presentation better, too.

Narrative Anecdotes

An  anecdote  is a short, personal  narrative  about something specific. It is often used as a component in an essay, acting as evidence to support your thesis, as an example to demonstrate your point, and/or as a way to establish your credibility. It always has a point in telling it.

Elements of an Anecdote

1. Who, Where, When

Have you ever wondered why children’s stories begin something like this?

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, the teachers were revolting …

It is the start of a simple narrative. It also contains all the elements of a beginning to any narrative: when, where, and who. An anecdote, because it is short, will begin similarly:

One day, while I was sitting at a stop sign waiting for the light to change…

This little particle of an anecdote tells when, who, and where before the first sentence even ends.

Note : An anecdote sets up a particular incident; it does not tell about a long period of time.

2. What Happened (Sequence of Events)

Any narrative also includes a sequence of events. You should be able to read an anecdote and tell what happens first, what happens next, and so on. In the following anecdote, the bolded words suggest each event in the sequence.

Example Anecdote:

My first day of college I parked in the “South Forty,” which is what everyone called the huge parking lot on the edge of the campus. It was seven forty-five in the morning, hazy and cool. I walked across the parking lot, crossed a busy street, walked over a creek, through a “faculty” parking lot, crossed another street, and came to the first row of campus buildings. I walked between buildings, past the library and the student mall. I passed many quiet, nervous-looking students along the way. Many of them smiled at me. One trio of young girls was even chuckling softly among themselves when they all smiled and said “Hi” to me at once. By the time I got to my classroom, far on the other side of campus from the parking lot, I was smiling and boldly saying “Hi” to everyone, too, particularly the girls. Every single one of them smiled or responded with a “Hi” or made a friendly comment or even chuckled happily. It was my first day of college.

When I found the building I was looking for, a friend from high school appeared. She was in my first class! I smiled at her and said, “Hi!” She looked at me. She smiled. Then she laughed. She said, “Why are you wearing a sock on your shirt?” I looked down. A sock had come out of the dryer clinging to my shirt.

3. Implied Point

Most of us want to make sure that we “get the point across” to whatever story we are telling, assuming it has a point. To do this, we tend to explain what we are telling. It is sometimes very difficult to stop. However, stopping in a timely way allows the reader to draw his or her own conclusions.

Show, don’t tell

In the anecdote above, I am very tempted to tell the reader what I felt at the moment I realized that everyone was laughing AT me rather than just being friendly. For the ending, where the point is in this case, it is best to let the reader infer (draw conclusions, fill in the blanks) what happens implicitly rather than to state explicitly what the point is, or what the narrator felt, or anything else.

The more indirect you are about your object or place the better. In the anecdote above, it might be obvious that my object is a sock or my place is a parking lot. The point is, it is not an anecdote “about” a sock; it is referred to indirectly.

How do we show rather than tell? First, describe what you see (I don’t really see anything with “I was SO embarrassed…”) or what you smell, hear, or taste, but NOT what you feel. An easy way to check whether you are showing or telling is to go through your anecdote and underline the verbs. If the verbs are “be”-verbs (is, was, were, etc.) or verbs that describe actions we cannot see (“I thought…” “I believed…” “I imagined…” “it made me upset…” and so on) then you are probably telling. In the sentence above I used “walked,” “lecturing,” “ripped,” and “said.”

Most Common Question:

“What makes stories or anecdotes interesting and something I can relate to?”

Actually, it is a simple principle, even though it may not be obvious. We “relate” or “connect” most easily to situations we recognize and so fill in the blanks. If you “tell” me, for example, “I was SO embarrassed …” then you have not let me fill in MY embarrassment. On the other hand, if you “show” me a scene, it allows me to fit my own experience into it:

“I walked past the corner of the aluminum whiteboard tray while lecturing to a class. It ripped my pants. After a moment I said, ‘Class dismissed.’”

The writer of those statements, hopes the reader will fill in some similarly embarrassing moment without the writer clearly stating that this is what is supposed to be done. The connection, the act of “filling in,” is what people tend to refer to as “relating to.”

Interestingly, it does not even matter whether or not readers fill in what the writer intend for them to fill in; it is the act of filling in our own experiences that makes us “relate” to an incident. From a writer’s perspective, that means we should show rather than tell.

Second, resist the temptation to “explain.” Let the reader fill in the blanks! It is so much more personal when the reader participates by filling in.

Assignment 1

Write an anecdote that contains who, where, when, and what happens (a sequence of events). Think about an anecdote that  involves ,  alludes to, or otherwise includes your object or place ; it does not have to be “about” your place. It also does not have to be “true” in the strict sense of the word; we will not be able to verify any believable details if they add to the effect of the anecdote. Type it out. Keep it simple and to the point.

What are ‘clichés’ and why can’t we use them?

Clichés are figurative phrases and expressions that you have probably heard a million times. For our purposes, there are two kinds of clichés: the ones that jump out at you and the ones that we use without thinking.

If you are paying attention, you will notice that the two sentences above contain at least 3 clichés. You might also notice that clichés are best suited to spoken language, because they are readily available and sometimes when we speak, we don’t have time to replace a common expression with a unique one. However, we DO have time to replace clichés while we are writing.

The problem with clichés in writing is that they are too general when we should be much more specific. They also tend to tell rather than show. In the first sentence above, we have most likely heard the phrase, “have probably heard a million times.” In speech, that expression works. In writing, it should be  literal  rather than  figurative.  The first sentence is better this way:

Clichés are figurative phrases and expressions that we have heard so many times that we all share some understanding of what they mean.

Not exactly what you thought when you read it at the beginning of this answer, is it? That is why being  literal and specific  in writing is better than  figurative and vague  as a rule.

Here is a re-write of the second sentence at the start of this answer:

For our purposes, there are two kinds of clichés: the ones that are obvious expressions (like “You can lead a horse to water …”) and the ones that are not part of expressions but seem to “go” easily into a group of words (like “we use without thinking”).

The second type is more difficult to identify and eradicate. Usually it is a group of words we have heard before that doesn’t add anything to a statement. For example, instead of “We watched the donuts roll down the street every night,” you might be tempted to add to it this way: “We watched the donuts roll down the street each and every night.” Avoid clichés in your writing.

To see more see more commonly used clichés and for guidance on how to rewrite them, see this  handout (https://writingcenter.unc.edu/cliches/)from The University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, Writing Center.

Some Other Rhetorical Tips

  • To create strong details, keep the human senses in mind. You want your reader to be immersed in the world that you create, so focus on details related to sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch as you describe people, places, and events in your narrative.
  • Create tension by making the reader nervous about what is going to happen through sentence structure, tone, and voice.
  • Add dialogue to show the immediacy and drama of the personal interactions (re-creating conversations as necessary to make your narrative work).
  • Name specific objects to re-create the scene by selecting details that leave the readers with a dominant impression of how things were.
  • Show people in action by describing precise movements and dialogue to convey the action of the scene.

External Links:

“ Sixty-nine Cents ” (https://tinyurl.com/ybjasq9c) by Gary Shteyngart: In “Sixty-nine Cents,” author Gary Shteyngart describes a coming-of-age experience as a first-generation Russian-Jewish immigrant in modern America.

Sherman Alexie grew up on the Spokane Reservation in Washington State. He chronicles his challenges in school, starting in first grade, in  Indian Education (https://tinyurl.com/hlshngr).

Sandra Cisneros offers an example of a narrative essay in “ Only Daughter ”  (https://tinyurl.com/yc4srod7) that captures her sense of her Chicana-Mexican heritage as the only daughter in a family of seven children. The essay is also available here  (https://tinyurl.com/y7hzxhz6).

 Annie Dilliard offers an example of a narrative essay in an excerpt, often entitled “ The Chase ” (https://tinyurl.com/ycsen7r4) from her autobiography  An American Childhood , outlining a specific memorable event from her childhood. This essay is also available  here  (https://tinyurl.com/y7udsl88).

NARRATIVE UNITY

The final consideration in putting together a narrative essay should be unifying it around a single theme or lesson. As you draft, you may already have this lesson in mind:  everyone should wear a seatbelt.  However, remember that your reader needs to make up her own mind. Don’t insult a reader by beating them up with your lesson, and don’t leave them guessing about the meaning of your piece by leaving it out completely.

Many writers include a paragraph of reflection after telling a personal story in an essay that lets a reader know, directly, the significance that the story has on the writer’s life. This can be a good way to get a lesson across. Showing what you’ve learned or found important in an event will provide the reader with a clue about the overall meaning of the story.

You should use “I” in a personal, narrative essay . There are types of academic writing where “I” is inappropriate, but this is not one of those times. In fact, the best narratives will often be the most personal, the stories that avoid hiding behind “you” or “they” and instead boldly tell the writer’s own story.

NARRATIVE OUTLINES

The typical narrative essay follows an outline that should seem like common sense:

  • Paragraph 1: Introduction
  • Paragraph 2: Event #1
  • Paragraph 3: Event #2
  • Paragraph 4: Event #3
  • Paragraph 5: Conclusion

This outline is flexible. Perhaps the first event in your story will take significant space to describe; it may need 2 paragraphs of its own. Maybe there are smaller events that happen within the larger events. Maybe for your piece, it makes sense to jump right into the story instead of spending an introduction paragraph to give some setup. What matters most is that a reader can easily follow the piece from beginning to end and that she will leave with a good understanding of what you wanted the reader to learn.

Student Sample Essay

My College Education

The first class I went to in college was philosophy, and it changed my life forever. Our first assignment was to write a short response paper to the Albert Camus essay “The Myth of Sisyphus.” I was extremely nervous about the assignment as well as college. However, through all the confusion in philosophy class, many of my questions about life were answered.

I entered college intending to earn a degree in engineering. I always liked the way mathematics had right and wrong answers. I understood the logic and was very good at it. So when I received my first philosophy assignment that asked me to write my interpretation of the Camus essay, I was instantly confused. What is the right way to do this assignment, I wondered? I was nervous about writing an incorrect interpretation and did not want to get my first assignment wrong. Even more troubling was that the professor refused to give us any guidelines on what he was looking for; he gave us total freedom. He simply said, “I want to see what you come up with.”

Full of anxiety, I first set out to read Camus’s essay several times to make sure I really knew what was it was about. I did my best to take careful notes. Yet even after I took all these notes and knew the essay inside and out, I still did not know the right answer. What was my interpretation? I could think of a million different ways to interpret the essay, but which one was my professor looking for? In math class, I was used to examples and explanations of solutions. This assignment gave me nothing; I was completely on my own to come up with my individual interpretation.

Next, when I sat down to write, the words just did not come to me. My notes and ideas were all present, but the words were lost. I decided to try every prewriting strategy I could find. I brainstormed, made idea maps, and even wrote an outline. Eventually, after a lot of stress, my ideas became more organized and the words fell on the page. I had my interpretation of “The Myth of Sisyphus,” and I had my main reasons for interpreting the essay. I remember being unsure of myself, wondering if what I was saying made sense, or if I was even on the right track. Through all the uncertainty, I continued writing the best I could. I finished the conclusion paragraph, had my spouse proofread it for errors, and turned it in the next day simply hoping for the best.

Then, a week or two later, came judgment day. The professor gave our papers back to us with grades and comments. I remember feeling simultaneously afraid and eager to get the paper back in my hands. It turned out, however, that I had nothing to worry about. The professor gave me an A on the paper, and his notes suggested that I wrote an effective essay overall. He wrote that my reading of the essay was very original and that my thoughts were well organized. My relief and newfound confidence upon reading his comments could not be overstated.

What I learned through this process extended well beyond how to write a college paper. I learned to be open to new challenges. I never expected to enjoy a philosophy class and always expected to be a math and science person. This class and assignment, however, gave me the self-confidence, critical-thinking skills, and courage to try a new career path. I left engineering and went on to study law and eventually became a lawyer. More important, that class and paper helped me understand education differently. Instead of seeing college as a direct stepping stone to a career, I learned to see college as a place to first learn and then seek a career or enhance an existing career. By giving me the space to express my own interpretation and to argue for my own values, my philosophy class taught me the importance of education for education’s sake. That realization continues to pay dividends every day.

Most People Don’t Understand Memoirs  

In 2006, James Frey wrote a memoir about parts of his life when he was under the influence of drugs called  A Million Little Pieces , and after Oprah had him on her show to discuss the book – it was featured in her popular book club, of course – she was told that he “lied” about certain parts. Well, he didn’t lie. Memoirs contain what we remember. What we remember isn’t always “fact.” What I always say is that if you have all of your family members report what happened at a family gathering – like a birthday party or Christmas – whose report would be correct? No ones! That’s what a memoir is. It’s still nonfiction because it’s what the person remembers, but it’s not false on purpose. If I remember that my sister responded to me in a snotty way one day and my other sister didn’t think so, no one is correct. It’s just my memory versus hers.

Now, typically, memoirs encompass just a chunk of someone’s life, like when James Frey wrote about his drug years, but sometimes, some famous person in their 70s (or older) will write his/her memoir. No matter what, it’s simply what they remember, and I suppose if someone’s on drugs or has an awful memory, the stories could appear to be false. But they aren’t. That’s why they say, “life is stranger than fiction.”

Memoirs are part of the nonfiction category of literature; they contain a lot of description and detail, and they are typically very, very personal in content.

example of a thesis statement for a memoir

The Bits and Pieces of Memoir

The memoir is a specific type of narrative. It is autobiographical in nature, but it is not meant to be as comprehensive as a biography (which tells the entire life story of a person). Instead, a memoir is usually only a specific “slice” of one’s life. The time span within a memoir is thus frequently limited to a single memorable event or moment, though it can also be used to tell about a longer series of events that make up a particular period of one’s life (as in Cameron Crowe’s film memoir Almost Famous ). It is narrative in structure, usually describing people and events that ultimately focuses on the emotional significance of the story to the one telling it. Generally, this emotional significance is the result of a resolution from the conflict within the story. Though a memoir is the retelling of a true account, it is not usually regarded as being completely true. After all, no one can faithfully recall every detail or bit of dialogue from an event that took place many years ago. Consequently, some creative license is granted by the reader to the memoirist recounting, say, a significant moment or events from his childhood some thirty years, or more, earlier. (However, the memoirist who assumes too much creative license without disclosing that fact is vulnerable to censure and public ridicule if his deception is found out, as what happened with James Frey and his memoir,  A Million Little Pieces .)

Furthermore, names of people and places are often changed in a memoir to protect those who were either directly or indirectly involved in the lives and/or event(s) being described.

Why read memoirs?

To learn about other people’s lives and their thoughts about events that have occurred.  Memoirs are a personalized look at history.

How to write memoirs?

Reflect n your life. write what you remember about events that matter to you from your unique point-of-view.

Dialogue is another way to bring life to your writing. Dialogue is conversation or people speaking in your story. An engaging dialogue goes beyond what is simply being said to include descriptions of non-verbal communication (facial expressions, body movement, changes in tone, and speed of speech) and characterization. The way people speak and interact while talking reveals much about them and the situation.

Writing a natural-sounding dialogue is not easy. Effective dialogue must serve more than one purpose – it should:

  • Drive the plot forward,
  • Reveal information about the characters, and
  • Build tension or introduce conflict.

Sample Dialogue

“So, what was it really like?” I asked.

“I’ve told you. It was amazing.”

I shifted to my side so I could look at her. “You have to give me more than that,” I insisted, “and not the mom and dad version.”

Liv mirrored my move to her side and propped up her head with her arm. Her blue eyes searched my greens, looking for the right words. “I shouldn’t–”

We broke our gaze as we heard our mom call for us. Once again, I didn’t get the truth.

Basic Dialogue Rules

  • “I want to go to the beach,” she said.
  • He asked, “Where’s the champagne?”
  • “That is,” Wesley said, “that neither you nor me is her boy.”
  • Even if the speaker says only one word, with no accompanying attribution or action, it is a separate paragraph.
  • Start a new paragraph when you wish to draw the reader’s attention to a different character, even if that character doesn’t actually speak.
  • For internal dialogue, italics are appropriate.

Example Memoir

Chocolate Can Kill You

Just when you think your life could not get any better, the Great One Above throws you for a loop that causes you to think upon your life, yourself, and your “little” obsession with chocolate. I am somewhat ashamed of this story, but it taught me so much. I still remember Alisa’s face when I came crying into the Valley City gym, I can hear Dad’s echoing “Are you OKAY?” consistently in my mind as if it had been a childhood scolding, and I see the image of the snow coming at me at 70mph every time I drive on a highway now.

In 1997, the morning after Valentine’s Day, I took off to see my sister in Valley City. She was there because of a wrestling meet. She is one of their prized assistants and without her, they would never get to see how goofy they look in tights. It was a crisp morning, and I cannot remember if I filled the bronco’s tank, but I did purchase a Twix bar before heading out on I-94. I vaguely remember thinking, Gee a seat belt would be good, even though the roads were as clean as they could have been in a North Dakota February. On that ten-degree morning, I met up with no one on the highway.

I was just bee-bopping along the left side of the road, listening to the radio and singing aloud as if I was Mariah Carey. It was at this time that I chomped into my first Twix bar.

In an attempt at a different radio station or something or another, I dropped the last bar between my legs onto the floor of the black beastly bronco.

This is where I become a stupid human. I tried to recapture the chocolate bar thinking, or maybe not even thinking, It will only take me a second. Whoever has said that seconds count in any accident WAS RIGHT! All of a sudden, I look up to see that I am driving 70 mph into the median’s snowdrifts. I cranked the wheel, thinking I could just drive back onto the highway. I mumble a few swear words and realize I am going 70 MPH IN A VERY DEEP SNOWDRIFT! I take my foot off the accelerator and while the front end slows, the back end has accumulated too much energy or velocity (a good physics question) and begins to lift upwards. I close my eyes, cross my arms across my chest, and crouch back into my seat and start to feel the bronco as well as myself turn and twist and hover for what seemed an eternity in slow motion. I did not open my eyes once.

And then all of a sudden, the small jolted car lands- PLOP – ON ITS WHEELS! My chair has completely reclined, and I sit up seeing smoke coming from my engine. I forget how to work my car and instinctively get out as if to show God I am alive. I stand on top of the drift becoming taller than my boxy 4×4. There are small dents in the front where you would open the hood but that is the biggest damage I can see.

“Are you OKAY?” An old couple are parked and honking at me from the other side of the highway going towards Fargo. They tell me to come with them and turn off the engine. I grab my parka and make my way through the snow to sit down in the back seat of the long car and take in that old people smell. This is when I quietly cry.

“You did a flip! It’s amazing you walked away from it,” says the old man and I think to myself sarcastically to calm down, Yeah I tried to do that. I ask them to take me to Valley City trying not to sound three and a half. Another major thought echoes What will Dad say?

They turned around at the next available bridge which was a mile away and the lady told me the exit so I could give it to the people that will tow my little bruised bronco. They talked to themselves as I tried to think of what exactly happened, how glad I was to be alive, and how I felt about it. Once inside the gymnasium, I found Alisa’s eyes and she instantly frowned and looked scared.

“Did you and Jason fight?” No, I try to say but I am crying in front of a large crowd who all seem more interested in me now than the matches. I sit down beside her and say:

“I did a flip… the bronco… flipped … it did a 360.”

“The bronco did a WHAT! ARE YOU OKAY!” She panics. I go to call Dad as she tells her friends, and they also feel sympathetic and are quite amazed. I don’t know how I managed to remember my calling card number, but I reached Mom and Dad just waking up. Once again Dad frightens me with his voice and vows to be there as soon as possible and tells me to call the highway patrol.

I was the only accident that whole day on the highway, I think, so I looked pretty silly.

Mom and Dad showed up an hour later. Mom was half-awake, and Dad looked like he’d been chugging coffee left and right. They had seen the bronco being towed incorrectly towards Fargo, so Dad feared the transmission was screwed up again much less the rest of the car. We took off for Fargo and stopped at the spot seeing the tracks lead into the snow, then 25 feet of no tracks, and suddenly a large indentation where the bronco had sat down.

Once at the Mobile on I-29, Dad jumped into the bronco to try to start it. It revved right up. I shook my head and thought of the motto, Built Ford Tough. Only the alignment and steering was off from me trying to turn it back onto the road, and the steam I had seen was the radiator fluid splashing onto the hot engine.

We had to meet with a highway patrolman, so the bronco could get a sticker and photos could be taken. I also, fortunately for the taxpayers, had to pay a Care of Vehicle bill of thirty dollars which means that the government basically can fine someone for trashing his/her own vehicle. This pissed me off incredibly after a day like I had just had. My mom had to remind me though that at least it wasn’t a medical bill.

The highway patrolman reminds me how valuable it was that I had had a seat belt on because I would have for sure gone through the windshield with that type of event and all the tossing that I had endured. That does not make replaying this event in my memory any better. As if God was saying: “No, not yet.”

It’s a common joke to not let me eat while I am driving.

That day made me incredibly grateful for my life, and for the people who came to my aid, especially my parents for spending their whole Saturday with me. Whether we were trying to contact the highway patrolman, paying the tower and the ticket, or comforting me- they never complained. Who knew chocolate could lead to such a life-threatening, yet philosophical day?

Time to Write

Purpose:  This assignment will demonstrate the understanding of how to write a memoir

Task: This assignment frames a single event for the memoir essay.

Write a Memoir Essay.  This essay should clearly identify a significant event or series of closely tied events that convey the significance of that event or has somehow shaped your personal perspective.  Remember that you are writing for an audience that doesn’t share your knowledge of the event(s), people, setting, etc. It is up to you to make your memoir come to life.

Key Features of a Memoir:

  • Invoke the 5 senses
  • Use narrative suspense
  • use metaphor
  • include significant details
  • provide descriptive language
  • use effective dialogue
  • include transitions

Key Grading Considerations

  • The rhetorical purpose is clear, focused, and appropriate to the audience and assignment.
  • The purpose is focused on the memoir.
  • Shows engagement with issues of story, language, rhetoric, or thinking deeply about a personal event.
  • The theme relates to a personal experience but also illustrates more universal principles.
  • Transitions
  • Learning Point Thesis Statement
  • Topic Sentences
  • Some Narrative Elements that flow with the paper
  • Clear introduction, event story, and conclusion
  • Dialogue is used
  • Descriptions and quotes to help visualize the event
  • Correct, appropriate, and varied integration of textual examples, including in-text citations
  • Limited errors in spelling, grammar, word order, word usage, sentence structure, and punctuation
  • Good use of academic English
  • Demonstrates cohesion and flow
  • Uses the rules of dialogue
  • Date format

Attributions

  • Memoir Content Adapted from Excelsior Online Writing Lab (OWL). (2020).  Excelsior College. Retrieved from https://owl.excelsior.edu/ licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-4.0 International License .
  • Narrative Writing Content Adapted from BETTER WRITING FROM THE BEGINNING . (2020).  Jenn Kepka. Retrieved from Better Writing from the Beginning licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-4.0 International License .

English 101: Journey Into Open Copyright © 2021 by Christine Jones is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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Last updated on Apr 27, 2023

How to Outline a Memoir in 6 Steps (with Template)

About the author.

Reedsy's editorial team is a diverse group of industry experts devoted to helping authors write and publish beautiful books.

About Martin Cavannagh

Head of Content at Reedsy, Martin has spent over eight years helping writers turn their ambitions into reality. As a voice in the indie publishing space, he has written for a number of outlets and spoken at conferences, including the 2024 Writers Summit at the London Book Fair.

About Tom Bromley

Author, editor, tutor, and bestselling ghostwriter. Tom Bromley is the head of learning at Reedsy, where he has created their acclaimed course, 'How to Write a Novel.'

Memoirists are often daunted by the task of translating memories into a captivating narrative. Even with a clear understanding of your memoir's central themes and the stories you want to share, it can be challenging to weave them together seamlessly. 

In this article, we’ll share 6 steps to organize your memories into a compelling narrative, along with a free template to help you plot your personal story. 

How to outline a memoir: 

1. Order your stories chronologically

2. pick a fitting story structure, 3. hook the reader from the start, 4. lay out your goals and desires, 5. describe how you dealt with challenges, 6. end by showing how you’ve changed.

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Memoir Outline Template

Craft a memorable memoir with our step-by-step template.

If you’ve worked through our article on how to write a memoir, you should already have a hand-picked selection of powerful memories. The challenge now is to piece them together, with each memory serving as a crucial puzzle piece in an overarching narrative. 

A popular first step is to arrange your stories in chronological order. You could do this on a whiteboard, a notebook, or within your writing software of choice. For example,  Reedsy Studio  offers an outlining board where you can create notes for your stories, then drag and drop them around.

Screengrab of Reedsy's Book Editor Outlining features

With this bird’s-eye view, it becomes easier to spot patterns and understand what fundamentally connects your stories together, helping you find a suitable story arc  for your memoir. 

👻 Want to collaborate with a master storyteller to bring your memoir to life? Hire a ghostwriter! They'll handle everything in the background, but your name will be the one on the cover.

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Filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard once said that every story “has a beginning, a middle, and an end — not necessarily in that order.” When it comes to telling your own story, there isn’t a single way to structure them 一 you'll have to figure out what will have the greatest impact. To help you along, look at some of the most common memoir structures authors use. Three, in particular, stand out: 

Chronological. For memoirs that cover a specific time period or event of the author’s life and have a clear, chronological timeline (e.g. defeating cancer, or climbing Mount Kilimanjaro.) For example, Jon Krakauer’s Into Thin Air recounts the 1996 Mount Everest disaster by chronicling the ascent, summit, and descent of the mountain.

Before/After. For memoirs that revolve around a particular event so central to the story that it makes sense to organize the book in a Before/After format, where the narration keeps cutting before and after that event occurred (e.g. being sentenced to jail, or surviving a hurricane). In Lee Lawrence's The Louder I Will Sing , the author describes his life before and after his mother was wrongly shot by police during a raid on their home, using the contrast to describe the two strikingly different realities he experienced.

Theme-based. For memoirs that aren't linked together by a specific timeframe, but rather a common theme, with each story offering a unique perspective into the author's life, yet all coalescing around a central theme. A good example is Trevor Noah's memoir Born a Crime, which explores his experiences as a mixed-race child growing up in Apartheid South Africa. Noah shares a range of poignant and often humorous stories, from going to Church with his mum to selling CDs to his first date, which all grapple with the book’s central themes of resilience and identity.

When outlining your own memoir, play around with your story notes and see if you can arrange them in a unique way that emphasizes your central message or story arc. If you find this especially challenging, don’t despair. You can always collaborate with a book coach 一 they’ll help you make sense of your tales and neatly organize them into a powerful narrative. 

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But in the end, the old ways are often the best — and most stories are best suited to having a distinguishable beginning, middle, and end. Most often, the strongest outline is one that follows a chronological, novel-like structure. To that end, we’ve created a free downloadable template that will help you deconstruct your memoir scene by scene and synthesize an overarching narrative.

Let’s dive deeper into your memoir outline and see that your story hits all the right chords. 

It’s never a bad idea to start your memoir with a moment of high emotion. When deciding whether your book is worth reading, readers will skim through the opening passages , either in-store or with Amazon’s Look Inside feature. If the first few pages don’t grab them, they won’t buy it. To engage readers from the get-go, open with a powerful moment from the middle or even the finishof your story .  

For example, Cheryl Strayed’s memoir Wild (which we’ll reference throughout the rest of this post) doesn’t start with her mother’s death, failing marriage, or struggle with drugs. Instead, it begins on day 38 of her hike along the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) when Strayed accidentally drops one of her hiking shoes off a cliff. It’s a moment of profound helplessness and loneliness, evoking feelings she’s been grappling with since her mother died, ones that she hopes to overcome on her journey.  

Actress Reese Whiterspoon screaming from the top of her lungs in Wild

Strayed hooks her reader right from the start . She knows they’ve picked up her book on the promise that they’ll get stories of hiking through the wilderness, and she delivers on it instantly, instead of spending the first 100 pages detailing her mundane ‘normal’ life.

This kind of opening (called in media res ) is an effective way for memoirists to engage the reader right away, and leave them wanting to know more  before providing background information and developing the story. 

Once you’ve figured out your hook, it’s time to lay the foundation for your narrative. If you’re following the classic story structure in three acts , this would be your Act One.

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Some of the story elements you may want to include in the first part of your memoir are: 

Exposition 

As the main character, you’ll have to provide some background information about yourself (as long as it’s relevant to your memoir’s main focus.) You’ll want to paint a picture of who you were before the story starts, so that readers can follow along as you evolve through it. 

In Wild , Cheryl vividly portrays the profound bond she shared with her mother, and how her death set her on a destructive path of substance abuse and infidelity.

Character Cheryl Strayed and her mother on the horse in the movie Wild

If your memoir is about joining the Navy Seals, this is the part where you share your ordinary life before military training. If it’s about grieving for your late husband, your exposition and background details might detail how you fell in love with each other, and what made your relationship special. 

An Inciting Incident 

In most cases, you’ll be able to identify a defining moment that set your story in motion, and propelled you on a transformational journey. It’s the moment you fully decide to get out of your comfort zone to achieve your goals and desires. 

Cheryl's turning point in Wild comes after she hits rock bottom in the wake of an unwanted pregnancy. Browsing through a store, she impulsively purchases a guidebook for the PCT, thinking that the trail may help her “walk herself back to the woman she once was.”  

The inciting moment when Cheryl Strayed finds the Pacific Coast Trail guidebook

Of course, not all true life stories start with an earth-shaking epiphany or a serendipitous meeting. Maybe your decision to run an Ironman in your 40s was something that was brewing over a number of years, but try to think of a moment of high emotion that contributed to that choice. Was it the day you were fired from your job, or the time when a kid on the street called you 'old'? This moment could very well be your inciting incident. 

Introduction of Main Theme

As your story develops, make sure that your personal objectives are tied to a larger, universal theme that can resonate with your readers. In Cheryl's story, her primary goal is to hike the PCT, but on a deeper level, her quest touches on the themes of redemption and self-discovery. As she writes in the first pages of the book:

“It was a world [the trail] I’d never been to and yet had known was there all along, one I’d staggered to in sorrow and confusion and fear and hope. A world I thought would both make me into the woman I knew I could become and turn me into the girl I’d once been.”

Think about what your memoir's theme really is (e.g. parenting, mental health, social inequality) and spotlight it from the very beginning.

Now that your story is truly in motion, with backstory, an inciting incident, and thematic heft, it’s time to get into the nitty-gritty. 

The second act of your memoir is often the trickiest. This is the section where you will usually deliver on the ‘ promise of the premise ’: if your book is about becoming an astronaut, this is the part where you’ll undergo training and plan for your mission. If you’re writing a memoir about hiking the wilderness, you better be in the woods by the start of the second act.

The tough part comes with making sure that you’re building momentum, increasing the stakes, and not just telling anecdotes that don’t contribute to the bigger picture. For this reason, a memoir’s second act usually sees your hero (you!) responding to bigger and bigger obstacles. 

Here are a few key plot points to consider to keep your narration strong: 

Rising Action

During this part of the story, you usually face external and internal challenges in order to achieve your goal. The key to maintaining credibility is to share both your failures and successes, moments of both fear and courage. 

On her first sleepless night camping on the trail, Cheryl is terrified of animal sounds. But as she grows more confident each day, she starts to join in with their howls. Despite her undersized boots, her heavy backpack, and her lack of camping experience, she manages to walk 100 miles through the Mojave Desert and reach the first campground. She also learns to trust strangers and ask for help, especially when it comes to letting go of some of her unnecessary baggage.

Cheryl camping in the woods in the movie Wild

The rising action in your story may be less adventurous than in a travel memoir. If your topic is recovering from addiction, for example, it may include getting into arguments at Alcoholics Anonymous, before developing an uneasy friendship with your sponsor and growing more confident in your ability to get better. 

This is a turning point in your story, like a crisis, triumph, or simply a realization, that pivots your journey in a new direction. Usually, it’s a moment that carries significant emotional weight and sets the stage for the climax to come. 

Despite her growing confidence, Cheryl is forced to reckon with her emotions. This is when she loses her boots and feels helpless, used as the story hook. This time though, we get to see how she reacts: she reinforces her sandals with duct tape and keeps marching forward, with ever more strength and determination.   

Dig around your memories and try to identify that path-altering, highly emotional moment 一 it may be your midpoint. In a memoir chronicling the journey of building a successful startup, the midpoint may be a promising call from angel investors, willing to pour some money into your idea. It’s the moment when things turn around. 

It’s time to outline the final act of your memoir to end on a strong note and with a powerful message.

The Third Act is where the main conflict of your story is finally resolved, so the stakes and tension should be at their highest. Some of the key plot points to outline in this last section are: 

This is where you introduce your greatest challenge for the final act of your manuscript. It often involves a series of events that further escalate the conflict and heighten the anticipation for the ultimate resolution. 

In Wild , Cheryl deals with debilitating thirst, dodgy hunters, and a heavy storm, but more importantly, she revisits some of her most painful memories, from the abuses of her alcoholic father, to the heart-wrenching task of putting down her mother's cherished horse after her passing.

Cheryl crying and reckoning with her emotions in Wild

In your memoir, this is the moment before the end of your story that threatens to dash your dreams once and for all. It may be the moment when a global pandemic hits, countries close borders, and flights to Vanuatu are suspended, threatening your quest to visit every single country in a year.  

This is the point where the central conflict or challenge of your memoir comes to a head. It’s the culmination of everything you've built up to, and it should feel like a defining moment in your life. For Cheryl, it’s finally reaching the Bridge of the Gods and completing the PCT after a three-month-long hike. In your story, it may be the moment you complete an Ironman, sell your successful startup, or finally land in Port Vila, the capital of Vanuatu.  

Resolution/Thematic Wrap-Up

The resolution is an opportunity for you to show the results of your journey and how you’ve changed as a result of it. Here you can again address the central theme of the book, sharing the lessons you’ve learned and how your perspective has changed over time. 

For Cheryl, it’s all about redeeming her turbulent past 一 from cheating to heroine 一 owning up to it, and rediscovering that inner strength and beauty she had lost touch with. In your memoir, this is the time to reflect on what you learned from overcoming addiction or running a race, and muse on how you have been able to move forward since.

Close up of Cheryl at the end of the movie Wild

Aaand scene! It's important to keep in mind that every memoir is unique and may require a distinctive structure, but we hope that our suggestions and template will provide you with a solid foundation to write with more clarity and get that memoir published.

Also, remember that writing a book is a marathon. After outlining, writing, and publishing your memoir, you'll have to publish it! Proceed onto our post teaching you how to publish a memoir and rest assured that you have a solid roadmap in front of you.

Evelyn Sinclair says:

04/03/2018 – 21:17

I've read a lot of the Reedsy information about memoirs, finding it all very helpful and I'm around 20,000 words in. Recently I'm struggling over how to bring it to an interesting end, and whether I can reach the length of a novel.

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example of a thesis statement for a memoir

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How to write a thesis statement + examples

Thesis statement

What is a thesis statement?

Is a thesis statement a question, how do you write a good thesis statement, how do i know if my thesis statement is good, examples of thesis statements, helpful resources on how to write a thesis statement, frequently asked questions about writing a thesis statement, related articles.

A thesis statement is the main argument of your paper or thesis.

The thesis statement is one of the most important elements of any piece of academic writing . It is a brief statement of your paper’s main argument. Essentially, you are stating what you will be writing about.

You can see your thesis statement as an answer to a question. While it also contains the question, it should really give an answer to the question with new information and not just restate or reiterate it.

Your thesis statement is part of your introduction. Learn more about how to write a good thesis introduction in our introduction guide .

A thesis statement is not a question. A statement must be arguable and provable through evidence and analysis. While your thesis might stem from a research question, it should be in the form of a statement.

Tip: A thesis statement is typically 1-2 sentences. For a longer project like a thesis, the statement may be several sentences or a paragraph.

A good thesis statement needs to do the following:

  • Condense the main idea of your thesis into one or two sentences.
  • Answer your project’s main research question.
  • Clearly state your position in relation to the topic .
  • Make an argument that requires support or evidence.

Once you have written down a thesis statement, check if it fulfills the following criteria:

  • Your statement needs to be provable by evidence. As an argument, a thesis statement needs to be debatable.
  • Your statement needs to be precise. Do not give away too much information in the thesis statement and do not load it with unnecessary information.
  • Your statement cannot say that one solution is simply right or simply wrong as a matter of fact. You should draw upon verified facts to persuade the reader of your solution, but you cannot just declare something as right or wrong.

As previously mentioned, your thesis statement should answer a question.

If the question is:

What do you think the City of New York should do to reduce traffic congestion?

A good thesis statement restates the question and answers it:

In this paper, I will argue that the City of New York should focus on providing exclusive lanes for public transport and adaptive traffic signals to reduce traffic congestion by the year 2035.

Here is another example. If the question is:

How can we end poverty?

A good thesis statement should give more than one solution to the problem in question:

In this paper, I will argue that introducing universal basic income can help reduce poverty and positively impact the way we work.

  • The Writing Center of the University of North Carolina has a list of questions to ask to see if your thesis is strong .

A thesis statement is part of the introduction of your paper. It is usually found in the first or second paragraph to let the reader know your research purpose from the beginning.

In general, a thesis statement should have one or two sentences. But the length really depends on the overall length of your project. Take a look at our guide about the length of thesis statements for more insight on this topic.

Here is a list of Thesis Statement Examples that will help you understand better how to write them.

Every good essay should include a thesis statement as part of its introduction, no matter the academic level. Of course, if you are a high school student you are not expected to have the same type of thesis as a PhD student.

Here is a great YouTube tutorial showing How To Write An Essay: Thesis Statements .

example of a thesis statement for a memoir

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Memoir coach and author Marion Roach

Welcome to The Memoir Project, the portal to your writing life.

How To Write Your Memoir: A 3-Step Guide

example of a thesis statement for a memoir

THERE ARE THREE MUST-HAVE COMPONENTS TO ANY PIECE OF MEMOIR, and knowing what they are will instantly allow you to get to work writing well. Master these, and you can have a writing life. It’s as simple as that, though it’s worth saying that if you want to learn how to write memoir and you ignore these, you do so at your own peril. Include them, and you can have that writing life you dream of. Omit them, and you risk writing and writing and writing without ever getting anyone else interested in your work. And who wants that?

So, what are they? I’ve got them right here. The three essentials to any piece of memoir. They are:

  • The answer to the question “What is this about?”
  • Your argument
  • The scenes from your life that you will deploy to prove that argument

What Is This About?

Knowing what your work is about means knowing the difference between your universal theme and your plot line. This is an essential distinction for anyone learning how to write memoir. Your essay/op-ed/book is about the first — a universal theme. The second, your plot line, is the story you tell to illustrate what big universal thing your story is about.

“Oh no,” you are saying right now. “My story is about me .” Not if you want anyone to read it, it’s not. It’s not about you. You’re there. You’re present. We could not do this without you. But you are not what the story is about. The story is about something universal and – and here you come – you are its illustration.

So what’s your story about? Go on, leave a comment below, and take a crack at it, and I’ll reply with some feedback.

What’s Your Argument?

Every piece of non-fiction is an argument. This does not mean that you are argumentative or that you have to scream, shout or implore in your piece. Simply put, your argument is what you know after something you’ve been through – say, that peace can be found in your own backyard, or that meditation really does slow down that monkey mind of yours, or that grief is a process that must be gone through slowly, or else you are destined to stay in it forever.

Just like people, arguments come in all shapes and sizes, as well as degrees of complexity. It does not matter how complex or simple you want to go since this is what you learned after what you’ve been through (see, I promised you a starring role in this piece of writing. Here it is). So, what did you learn in your first season of gardening, or after the death of your father; what did you come to believe in that life of faith, or that process of recovery after sexual assault? What are you willing to say to us, your grateful readers, about the experience?

This is where that tried and true expression comes into play, that one you’ve heard but never really understood. What is it? Write what you know. It does not mean that you give us a diary-like account of what you experienced. It means you show us what you learned.

How? Here’s how.

How to Prove your Argument

You prove that argument by showing – not telling – your way through your tale. You know this expression, as well – show, don’t tell – and it has flummoxed you, hasn’t it? Here is how this works. Show us a series of scenes from you being a total Type A personality, making fun of everyone who meditates. Then show us you, hyperventilating in the ER and having the doctor diagnose a panic attack. Then show us that same doctor offering you two things: Medication or a lifestyle change. Ooh! A choice. Sounds like the end of Act One to me (though that is a whole different blog post, one that includes a section on why memoir is best told in three acts ).

Show us you making that choice. Maybe you take the drugs, get addicted, struggle with that and only then try meditation. Maybe you try it and that monkey mind of yours swirls and leaps and torques all over the place — that is, until one day you get just a little hit of serenity. And whammo! You’re hooked! Show us.

And then show us life with meditation. And guess what? You’ve proved your argument.

Easy as that. Simple as one, two, three. When learning how to write memoir, make sure to include these three memoir essentials and you will succeed. Leave them out and, well, you know what happens. And we can’t have that, now can we?

Want more instruction on how to write memoir? That’s what I do. I’m a memoir coach . I also teach memoir. I’d love to teach you more.

  • Here is a post on how to define memoir, literally answering the question, “What is a memoir?”
  • Here is a post on how to beat writer’s block
  • Here is a link to my twenty top tips for writing memoir
  • Here is a link to my five insanely simple steps to planning a book

Enjoy. And don’t forget to leave a comment below on what you think your memoir is about. I’ll be glad to help you tighten it up. Go on. I’d love to get you writing.

Looking for some online memoir writing classes ? I’ve got those, as well.

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Related posts:

  • All Nonfiction is an Argument. Even Memoir. Want to Mix it Up?
  • Writing Memoir: Letting the Cosmic Graph Guide Your Readers on Their Way
  • The Memoir Manifesto

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Reader interactions.

Mary Scott says

June 21, 2018 at 7:51 pm

Getting out of your comfort zone can help you move through grief.

marion says

June 22, 2018 at 8:31 am

Mary: This is compact and clear. It is also very much a message that we need to hear. So, in Act One you would show us not only how to value who or what you lost, but also how you are staying in your comfort zone. In Act Two, that comfort zone fails to protect you, and you realize this mid-Act Two. And so you make a change which, at the end of Act Two, allows you to transcend your previous state. Act Three? Prove to us you are changed. And Voila!

Paulette Whitehurst says

June 21, 2018 at 10:34 pm

My story is about the fact that kids are resilient, and it is never too late to inspire or influence them, illustrated by my story of growing up in the fifties with a mother who was emotionally abusive.

June 22, 2018 at 8:34 am

Yes, indeed. The resiliency of kids is a great topic, especially right now. So reword it so that you can prove it. What do you know within that statement “kids are resilient?” It’s about how the resiliency of kids can…as illustrated by my own late-in-life growth after being raised by an abusive mother, to be told in a book. Remember that the “what is it about” must be universal. Yours is. Just push it a bit.

June 25, 2018 at 6:34 pm

Marion – How about this?

My memoir in verse is my story of coming of age and survival growing up in the 1950’s with a single mother who was unprepared for motherhood. It is my story of overcoming obstacles: loneliness, rejection, emotional neglect, and abuse in spite of my mother’s three marriages and frequent moves, My life is the evidence of the power of teachers to help their students transcend their problems through a love of learning.

Naomi Johnson says

June 27, 2018 at 12:46 am

Hi Paulette,

I’m no Marion (though I have read her book and taken her Memoirama 1 mini-course).

I can ‘hear’ her perhaps saying something like this back to you. At least it strikes me, based on what I’ve been learning from her, that your longer response is moving more in the direction of your plot sketch (possibly) and what she’s inviting you to do is to find that one, short, cliché-like phrase that is the language of a succinct universal.

I wonder if your universal ‘about’ statement might be: “it’s about surviving and thriving against all odds”?

I’ve been learning that while our universals are cliché and ‘bumper sticker sounding’ (that’s what makes them ‘universal’), we will deeply personalize them in our own unique argument about that universal, shown, of course, in our own unique story that proves our argument.

Forgive me if I’m repeating things quite familiar to you. Couldn’t resist jumping in here, especially as I see Marion has so many responses she likely can give each of us only a 1 shot response. Hooray for that!

All the best, Nj

June 22, 2018 at 1:03 am

I am so grateful for your advice, Marion. I thought a memoir was about me, my life and in chronological order. It was a lot of work, words and scenes, most not necessary or truly relevant to my argument. You showed me the way and it has also been a lot of work and killing of those things thought to be too dear and were not, they had to go!

I am sticking to your 3-Step Guide and 3 Acts and the memoir is coming to life, making a strong argument and showing the way, with less scenes and words too!

Thank You, Thank you, Thank you!

You are most welcome, Pam.

June 27, 2018 at 12:48 am

Me too – ditto! Isn’t it WONDERFUL to finally see our way through our own forests?

Rebecca says

June 22, 2018 at 6:35 am

It’s about: “cheating death, second chances, and the power of kindness.” But that’s vague. “Life is better sober.” Eh. How about “If you don’t stop drinking you’re liable to end up with a failing liver and need a transplant and you don’t want to get that sick because it’s horrible to be that sick and people judge you because you did that to yourself and that’s humiliating and why do you deserve to even live?” That’s pretty broad. I cannot figure out which direction to focus on! I went through so many different aspects of this span of time (two years). Help.

June 22, 2018 at 8:36 am

Dear Rebecca: Good for you. Life is better sober. Sobriety is not only about quitting drinking. What is it about? In the hard-drinking culture in which I was raised, what I noticed is that sobriety really involves unlearning the romance of alcohol. What did you learn? Your argument is what you know after what you’ve been through. It’s universal, as illustrated by you.

Elizabeth Mayorca says

June 22, 2018 at 7:30 am

How in writing about my relationship with my grandmother I learned that she influenced my patience, my sense of loving affection, helped to form my faith, my love for humanity, even though as a mother to her own children she was impatient, more emotionally distant, anxious, depressed and critical (a daughter of the Depression). As her grandchild, I embraced her southern Italian heritage and learned Italian, even as her own children were not allowed to learn or speak the language growing up. Writing this book helps me to understand the bitterness in my mother (and as a result myself) and changes the way I mother my own children for the better.

June 22, 2018 at 8:38 am

Dear Elizabeth, Welcome. So, let’s universalize that, shall we? Your plot line is clearly stated here. But your argument is not. Sometimes the skills we have on us to transcend what we encountered are offered from outside the family. So what is it you know about accepting outside help to create control over inside problems? Yes, your grandmother is family, but you are making a strong case for who may influence us. Some people have no one and get it from books or even movies. I’ve heard of people transcending this lives over a line read in a greeting card. It begins when and how it begins. So what do you know about that?

June 22, 2018 at 7:54 am

My story is about recognizing realities and adapting to them to survive, learn and grow, as illustrated by a week in Mali, Maldives assisting a friend in the hospital.

June 22, 2018 at 8:39 am

Dear Dana, Which realities? Break that open. Hit it with a hammer and reveal which specific realities you refer to and this book will reveal itself to you.

June 22, 2018 at 9:10 am

The realities I recognized were that Mali is a strict Muslim nation. I arrived in attire suitable for a day at the beach. Hospitals there don’t have basic, standard equipment. They don’t care for the person only their medical needs, as they are able. I am an American Christian woman, unwelcome and alone. My friend died. I survived, and learned and changed. I don’t know how to put all that into a concise universal argument.

Linda Lee/@LadyQuixote says

June 22, 2018 at 2:50 pm

This is a book I want to read!

June 24, 2018 at 3:04 pm

thank you for the encouragement Linda Lee! Hopefully with the direction provided I will actually get it down on paper and out of my head!

June 23, 2018 at 11:47 am

Hello again Marion, Wanting to get in on the conversations with you and others, I didn’t take enough time yesterday before replying. So I have reworked my argument as follows:

My story is about recognizing realities and adapting to them to survive, learn and change. These realities are that Mali, Maldives is a strict Muslim nation. Hospitals there don’t have basic, standard equipment. They don’t care for the person, only their medical needs, as they are able with the facilities. As an American woman, and a Christian, I was unwelcome and alone. My friend died. I survived, learned and changed. This will be illustrated by a story of spending a week in Mali assisting a friend in the hospital.

Is this universal enough to be a solid argument? I would appreciate any additional feedback. Thank you for your time.

June 24, 2018 at 8:35 pm

Dear Dana, So what you seem to be arguing something mighty about adaptation. Remember the dictum of memoir — that memoir is not about what you did . Memoir is about what you did with it. So we, the readers, are not reading for your specifics, though they are there in the tale. We are reading for your transformation so we might be informed about how we, too, might change. Are you arguing that adaptation allows for evolution? That’s what Darwin argued, didn’t he? If we allow ourselves to adapt, we can grow and survive. Keep it simple and you let us in to the story.

June 28, 2018 at 9:36 am

Hello again, I’v spent days taking a hammer to my thoughts. I get that this story is not about me, not at all, it’s not about resilience or adapting. This story is about my friend who died, about her assumptions regarding how and where she would die. She wanted to die on a beautiful cruise ship surrounded by friends. She was 6 weeks into a 4 month around the world trip, her 5th consecutive one. Her doctors had warned her that she wouldn’t make it back home. Indeed that ship sailed away without her. She died in a shabby ward surrounded by nurses in “al-khimar”. And this hospital didn’t acknowledge her advance care planning directives allowing her to pass as intended.

My purpose of writing this story is to persuade others who know they are ill to not travel by ship (my area of expertise as I’v worked on ships for almost 30 years). For many reasons, ships are not an alternative to nursing homes. This story is not a memoir.

I have loved going through the video’s and workbooks in this course. You are a talented teacher Marion. Thank you. The tools are well presented and encouraging. I believe they would apply to other kinds of stories, with adaptions, wouldn’t they?

Instead of continuing with this course, should I take your husband’s “How To Write Opinion Pieces: Op-eds, Radio Essays and Digital Commentary”?

June 28, 2018 at 10:04 am

Hi again. Good for you for wanting to write with such intent. I applaud that whole-heartedly. While we differ on how to construct it, we agree that you have a powerful tale. And you do. Now that I know what you are using to illustrate it — wow, what a tale — if you are writing a memoir, I suggest that your story is about how the what feels like the freedom of decision-making can sometimes result in bad decisions. Just because we can do some things does not always mean we should, yes? If you are not in the tale at all, this is not a memoir. However, if you are in the tale and this is a cautionary story, it can be a memoir as long as it has an argument. As to the last graph, which course are you referring to? We’d welcome you in the op-ed course. You have a powerful statement to make here and one that would be wonderfully amplified by your story.

June 22, 2018 at 8:14 am

My original comment was a bit too cryptic, so a bit more flesh on the bones.

My memoir is about losing my husband and grief knocking me flat. I was desperate and terrified that I would always struggle to even rise in the morning. So I bought tiny motorhome, and embarked on a Sentimental Journey.

This was way out of my comfort zone because I had never camped, or traveled on my own other than as part of my work life. I did not practice, just bought the camper and began my journey, in part to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary.

My first trip was one disaster after another, but I prevailed, and spent a year journeying to places that had been special to my husband and me, as well as to amazing new locations where I met fascinating people, many now dear friends.

I learned to take care of myself and confidently move forward, totally hooked on travel.

June 22, 2018 at 8:40 am

I love this extra information and we can see the book clearly now. See my original comment and write on.

June 22, 2018 at 2:51 pm

Oh my goodness… I want to read this book!

Nicole says

June 22, 2018 at 9:45 am

To set this up with context, my grandfather died when I was eight and I’ve always felt an immense connection to him — I think a big reason lies in our similar struggles with depression and our refusal to be overcome by it. I was given 14 years of his diaries which I read cover to cover and discovered much I saw in myself and much I didn’t know about his life. But I struggle to put myself in this story as his life in these diaries takes place from 1971 to the year of his death in 1985. (I was born in 1977 and my memories during that time are faint)

And, by the way, is it memoir if my story is his as I know it by reading his diaries?

Assuming so, whether my story includes my own narrative or not, it is about a person’s mental survival by doing, and the steadfast refusal to sink.

That may be too understated. My grandfather had a top-secret government clearance, so he never sought professional help for his depression out of fear he would lose his clearance and his job. Instead, his therapy was a cross-country trip in an RV from Texas to Alaska with my grandmother, successfully designing and building an underground house and he was a contributing engineer to the NASA space program. He had setbacks along the way and eventually, it was determined that the likely cause of his mental state was 16 cancerous tumors on his brain that eventually took his life in 1985.

My life shares a similar theme but does not parallel by any stretch. His depression is presumably caused by an unknown-at-the-time illness. I had specific and big external reasons as to why mine developed as it did. And I did seek help through therapy. So if my own story is somehow woven in, it’s unclear to me how that would add anything to the story or smoothly connect.

So there you have it! I feel like I have the pieces and “maybe” a start on what this story is about – but am unsure on how to tell it since this story was discovered, and not fully my own. Any thoughts or advice you have would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you in advance for your time!

June 25, 2018 at 10:59 am

Dear Nicole, This becomes memoir as you — and we, the readers — see your connection to him in your similar theme. If you write solely about him, it’s biography. If you include realizations about you, this can become a fine memoir. What fascinates me here is your dogged research, the only question being “why?” Was it your similar struggles with depression and, much like those who get hooked on genealogy, did you get attached to this tale via a similar pull, but this one more for information on your own health? That’s interesting. If so, you are writing a kind of adventure tale and one that needs an argument about finding answers and the relief they bring.

June 25, 2018 at 11:54 am

Thank you so much for your insight. Since I left this comment, I ordered your book “The Memoir Project” and have almost finished it. Your book and much of the content on this site has helped me start to formulate the “Why”. Because you’re right, I only have a distinct interest in knowing him and no one else in my lineage.

As for what it’s about: Discovering the root of my depression so I may formulate my own cure to get out of it.

Then, using one of the formulations in your book I wrote the following for an argument:

“A sinking depression is hard unless you seek, and hold tight, a connection to pull yourself out.”

I think the diaries are a key component of that – but not the only illustration. This feels like I’m closer to a better direction — I think. Thoughts?

June 25, 2018 at 5:27 pm

Wonderful job. The use of the “unless” there is perfect. That’s the beginning of Act Two. Unless. A great word for an argument.

June 25, 2018 at 5:38 pm

Yay! Fantastic. Ok, on I go to work more on structure and vomit up my crappy first draft. :) I’ve signed up for your Memoirama in September. Really looking forward to it and can’t thank you enough for lending us your expertise in this forum!

Barbie Beaton says

June 22, 2018 at 10:31 am

My story is about facing my childhood trauma, and how allowing myself to be OK without family brought compassion.

June 22, 2018 at 2:54 pm

This sounds similar to the book I am writing. I definitely want to read your memoir!

June 24, 2018 at 1:16 pm

Oh wow! I’m glad to hear I’m not alone.

June 25, 2018 at 11:02 am

Dear Barbie: Compassion is a fascinating topic, isn’t it? And when I have my word — the thing that interests me — what I do is go become an expert on that word. Start by looking up compassion in the dictionary. Then read everything you can on it and its antonyms in the Thesaurus. Then read up online on good publication like Psychology Today on what compassion is and how it works. Broaden your knowledge, as well as your language, on your topic and you will find it broadens the base of your argument. Go get ’em. Best, Marion

July 5, 2018 at 10:24 pm

Thanks Marion! I’ve researched nearly every other theme in my memoir, but this one, because this one is about moi.

Mary Nieraeth says

June 22, 2018 at 11:09 am

My memoir is about becoming my own best life advocate as illustrated by my recurring epilepsy from childhood through adulthood. This caused me to seek resources helping find the medical root cause of my condition and practices such as therapy, yoga and meditation which keep me on a healthy path physically, mentally and psychologically..

June 25, 2018 at 11:03 am

Becoming our own best advocate is a topic we never tire of. What you seem to be arguing is in favor of medical self-advocacy. Argue it strongly and show us great examples of where it got you. Good luck.

Catherine Becker says

June 22, 2018 at 11:30 am

My book is about authenticity as told through my journey between myth and reality in the American landscape and beyond after discovering I was a black market adoptee.

June 25, 2018 at 11:06 am

Wow. What more can you say about authenticity? What do you know about it that is unique to your experience? I want you to succeed with this, so were we working one-on-one I would push you hard about what, within authenticity, you actually know that most of us do not. Start by drinking a HUGE amount of caffeine (kind of kidding here) and slamming down 10 or 20 sentences about what you know about authenticity. Then put them in the order you learned them. Then see if after reading them you have one, big cosmic thing to say as a result and use that fabulous list as your outline.

Natalie Taylor says

June 22, 2018 at 12:52 pm

Marion – I have enjoyed the online classes taken so far… but still struggling to pin point these. Look forward to any thoughts…

Basically about my co-dependency – here are some ideas for my plot line, argument and XYZ….

When faced with my daughters addition and abusive relationship, I became addicted to saving her and in the end lost myself, faced my own flaws and behaviors until I learned to detach with love so I could save myself and our family.

Detatching with love was necessary to survive my daughters addiction….

Its about detaching with love, as illustrated by my daughters addiction and abuse, the chaos is brought to our family and my co-dependency and depression, to be told in a book.

June 25, 2018 at 11:08 am

Oh yes. Detaching with love. This is such a needed topic in this world. Much like my answer to Catherine, I suggest you slam down 10 or 20 sentences about what you know about detaching with love. Then put them in the order you learned them. Then see if after reading them you have one, big cosmic thing to say as a result. That’s your argument. Then use that fabulous list as your outline.

June 22, 2018 at 1:06 pm

It’s never too late to change your lifestyle and get the body you want. (A weight loss memoir about losing 50lbs in my forties)

June 25, 2018 at 11:09 am

Yes. Yes. Yes. And yes. Perfect.

June 25, 2018 at 11:58 am

Thank you for giving of your own time and offering your valuable advice to us all 😊🙏🏻

June 25, 2018 at 5:26 pm

You are most welcome. It’s my pleasure as well as an honor to unleash all these writers on the world with far better arguments. Yipppeeeee, right?

June 27, 2018 at 4:35 pm

LOVE IT, Marion ! :-) :-) :-)

Joan Boonin says

June 22, 2018 at 1:09 pm

It is about how, when you’ve been emotionally damaged as a child, you can discover your own path to self-acceptance and validation, as told in a book.

June 25, 2018 at 11:10 am

Dear Joan, How kind of you to offer such candor. I think this is true. And much-needed in this world. Make sure to let us all into this tale by keeping your message universal and your scenes specific to you. We do so by showing, not telling, our way through the tale. Go get ’em. Best, Marion

June 29, 2018 at 8:38 pm

Thanks so much, Marion. I may be ahead of myself here, but I am working on my 3 W’s and wondered if you might have any thoughts about what I am considering, as follows:

You will not find inner peace and self-acceptance/ until you realize that other people are not the ones you need/ to define your own unique brand of success and beauty.

I was raised by a mother who demonstrated contempt and disapproval of my temperament and physical appearance, causing anxiety and injury to my body-image and self-esteem, and only by pursuing a successful medical rehabilitation career, developing my artistic talents, and becoming a mother myself, have I learned to quiet the inner voice of my mother.

June 22, 2018 at 2:15 pm

Thank you for this article! It makes so much sense.

My story is about how just going through the checklist of life will not automatically lead you to happiness.

My plan is to talk about my experience with checking off all of the boxes (degree, job, marriage, baby) and realizing I’m far from happy, pinpointing the issues, working through forgiveness and perfectionism, and redefining happy.

Based on your blog post, I’d say:

Act 1 is the process of doing everything I’m supposed to do and my addiction to perfectionism. Until I had a massive meltdown due to my little baby throwing all of my imperfections in my face and making me realize that it was time to drop the act.

Act 2- My perfectionism failed to give me happiness. Seeking validation only led to more pain and severe anxiety. Ignoring my issues with family just fueled my pain and caused me to reject myself. I realized the real work is emotionally and not checkboxes that everyone told me to do.

Act 3- My imperfections are out in the spotlight. I’ve stopped my anxiety in its tracks and become much more centered (less reactive). My relationships are totally different but I’ve stopped yearning for the impossible. I feel empowered in my life instead of like everyone’s puppet.

How’s that?

June 25, 2018 at 11:11 am

“Checklist perfectionism” is my new favorite term. I get it. Wow, do I get it. Yes. Write it.

June 22, 2018 at 2:46 pm

The theme for my memoir, Growing Up Crazy, is that you are never too broken to heal. All you need is at least one compassionate person who cares, and the determination to never give up on yourself.

June 23, 2018 at 6:03 pm

Yes. You are never too broken to heal. Nicely done. And that one compassionate person is a fabulous step along the way. Exactly right. Prove your argument using that person as a major plot point and the book will be a wonder. Write on.

Deborah Jones says

June 22, 2018 at 3:24 pm

My story is about my two sons – one with Schizophrenia and the other with Bipolar. My argument is how to hold on to help them, yet let go of the confusion, the chaos. The scenes show how to save myself from losing myself in the process and how a book helped me let go.

June 25, 2018 at 11:18 am

Your argument seems to be in how we cannot help others unless we keep ourselves intact. It’s illustrated by your story of your good work with your sons. Nicely done.

Natalie says

My story is about finding peace and calm in the midst of chronic health problems and pain, illustrated by my search for spiritual and reflection practices.

June 25, 2018 at 11:17 am

Yes. good. Show us how to find peace and calm, never losing sight of the fact that the readers want to achieve the same.

June 26, 2018 at 10:24 am

Thank you, Marion! I’d like to begin with the search, show what I found, and end with examples and a “how to” section of the actual practices I am using.

June 26, 2018 at 1:54 pm

Sounds very good to me.

June 22, 2018 at 3:37 pm

Marion I am writing a collection of stories (memoir) that are connected by a theme of a dress. For example: A Little Black Dresss is about learning compassion illustrated by scenes from growing up in a funeral home. I made a chart to clearly show what each one is about, the argument and scenes. It has helped me focus on each story. Some tales could flow into the next story but each can stand alone. Since this is a collection of pieces, do I need an argument for the entire collection? Or do I just continue answering the what is this about? Argument and scenes approach individually. I did write an introduction to the collection.

June 25, 2018 at 11:16 am

Dear Linda, I love this idea. You do need an overarching argument for a collection, as well as a sense of the cumulative — that we are learning something along the way. What are you saying about our relationship to our clothes?

June 25, 2018 at 11:22 am

Marion, Thanks for these wonderful comments and for your online courses. I am not doing a typical book, but a collection of stories, all memoir, which will hopefully make up a book.

Could you respond to my question about forming an argument for a collection?

Here’s what I have so far:

What is this collection about? How I recall life lessons by the memory of a dress. I have a wardrobe of life lessons told through 17 stories. (ex: judgment, learning compassion, etc. – each piece has it’s own argument and one word answer to the question, what is this about?

My argument: Dresses hold the memories. Dresses have been like a black box recording the flight data on my journey through life. The introduction to the collection develops that argument in two paragraphs.

I didn’t see a reply to the first post from Saturday. Thank you.

June 25, 2018 at 5:29 pm

Clothes hold many secrets, aspirations, memories and more. I love that. But keep in mind that arguments must be universal, so get yourself out of it. Remember that we are reading for our own transformation based on your experience.

June 22, 2018 at 3:48 pm

Moving Between the Lines: A Black Market Baby, A Motorcycle, A Quest for Pieces of Real, is about authenticity and interconnection as told through my journey through the myth and reality in the American landscape and beyond after I discovered I was a black market adoptee.

June 25, 2018 at 11:14 am

See my comments on your other comment. I think these overlapped.

Deb Rosenthal says

June 22, 2018 at 4:14 pm

My memoir answers the question, “what does it mean to recover from a stroke?” It shows me moving from believing I am damaged goods to believing that I can still lead a full life. Right now I am trying to tighten up my scenes so they adhere to that theme and that argument–show what I need to show and lose the dreck.

June 24, 2018 at 8:44 pm

Dear Deb, So what do you know about recovery? How would you finish the sentence: “Recovery requires…,” or “true recovery includes…,” or “To recover, we must…”? What do you know about the true nature of recovery? I know you know something I want to learn. So don’t just tell us your tale, but show it to us with a universal theme in mind and we’ll be enthralled. Go get ’em. Best, Marion

Stephanie says

June 22, 2018 at 4:38 pm

My book is about how kids of divorce can stop being victims by growing up to forgive their parents, deal with the pain and be better for it in the end.

June 24, 2018 at 8:40 pm

Do we all get a reply? Or was that just good for the first day?

June 24, 2018 at 8:46 pm

So your book is about forgiveness. Now give me a full sentence on the nature of forgiveness and what it provides. Use my algorithm — it’s about x as illustrated by y to be told in a z — and move “forgiveness” in the x spot and fill in the rest and see what happens.

June 25, 2018 at 8:16 am

Forgiveness means freedom. Freedom to love and not live a closed off life of anger and self protection. I don’t have to live as a victim of someone’s else choices or as a closed off person for fear of being hurt again. I am free to be who I am and not who I think I should be to get the love of my parents or somehow get them back together.

It’s about forgiveness, told by my (rather messy and yet blessed) path to forgiving my dad for leaving our family as told in a book.

June 25, 2018 at 10:55 am

It’s about the freedom that forgiveness provides as illustrated by my path to forgiving my father for leaving our family as told in a book. See how that differentiates you in the market by showing us what you, specifically, know about forgiveness? Nice job.

June 26, 2018 at 2:26 pm

I love it! I see the difference! What I really Love is the idea of my PATH to forgiveness bc it’s not something that happened all at once and I still have many times where I need to keep forgiving. Recovery from trauma is definitely not linear!

Any suggestions on structuring acts 1, 2 and 3 since it’s not very linear? I came up with

Act1: experience my dad leaving at age 2, which led to anger, perfectionism, inordinate attachments to people.

Act 2: had an awakening in college in which I truly started down the path to forgiveness- a path of healing. Include scenes which led me to different times of forgiveness. (I was thinking of doing that exercise you suggested to someone else abiut writing down all i learned about forgiveness and then putting it in chronological order)

Act 3: I’m married now with kids of my own and able to continue to forgive and apply all I’ve learned. I can have a relationship with my dad without it controlling my life and I can let go more and more everyday of all those negative habits I developed to protect myself.

They all seem to merge in my mind. Mostly the second and third since j feel like I’m still applying all of this daily.

Brooke says

June 22, 2018 at 4:47 pm

My story is about God’s provision in times of great turmoil as illustrated by a relative’s escape from Lithuania during WWII (and her eventual immigration to Canada). I wrote one draft before I found about you, Marion, and am now trying to rework it. My problem now is I think I have too much action, too many scenes. I’ve been told I need more refection, more context. Any thoughts on this or my what-it’s-about statement? Thanks for doing this.

June 24, 2018 at 8:49 pm

Good for you, Brooke. What a fine idea. Now be more specific. What is it God prides in times of great turmoil? Is your argument a very simple one — God will provide? Perhaps it is. As to those many scenes, remember that we want to be cumulative in a book, meaning that each scene must build on the one before. We are reading the scenes not for the action, but for what they teach us. Too many scenes undoubtedly means you have repeated some themes with different actions. Go through each scene and ask yourself what it tells the reader, see which repeat some themes and cull from there.

Dana Laquidara says

June 22, 2018 at 5:57 pm

My loving mother was erased from my life after my parents’ divorce when I was four years old (parental alienation). My memoir is about becoming our own good mother in order to heal and thrive, no matter the trauma or poor parenting we have experienced. Love of self, choice by choice, is the way to be whole. (and boy did it take me a long time to really figure this out!)

June 22, 2018 at 6:09 pm

*It is also about identity; choice by choice, we uncover our authentic selves, even after loss and neglect.

June 24, 2018 at 8:52 pm

There’s your argument: Choice by choice, we recover our authentic selves. Act One: What’s at stake. Loss and neglect Act Two: What you tried. How you learned to choose. Act Three: What worked. Your authentic self reappears.

June 28, 2018 at 10:43 am

A belated thank you, Marion! I look forward to taking your memoirama classes in September in order to more successfully turn my first draft into a better draft. Originally, I thought my argument was about parental alienation; In my essays, I’ve been a voice for the alienated child & I’ve received so many messages from alienated parents desperate to reconnect w/ the beloved children they’ve ‘lost’ since divorcing a vengeful narcissistic/borderline ex. However, I don’t think that is a universal topic. Thanks again! Dana Laquidara

June 29, 2018 at 6:48 am

Dear Dana, Alienation in this crazy world happens in so many ways, from the smallest to the most profound. We see it in restaurants with both members of a couple being on there phones instead of talking; we see it on the border as families are separated. We see it and yet we don’t always know what we think except in the immediate — that it’s wrong. But what more do we know? What there the effects? What is created within it? You are writing about alienation and your assignment is to write what you know so no matter what sort of alienation I might be thinking about, I see the fullness of your experience informing my questions. Go get ’em. There could not be a more vibrant, or needed, topic right now.

June 24, 2018 at 8:50 pm

Oooh. See my reply to your next comment.

Donna Linn says

June 22, 2018 at 7:42 pm

Hello Marion… My book is about developing conversation, curiosity and question asking skills. These skills will take you anywhere you want to go, personally and professionally. Life is better and more rewarding when you engage in meaningful conversation. This is based on my thirty year plus career as a professional interviewer in business and in broadcasting.

June 24, 2018 at 8:41 pm

Oh, you are so very right: Life is better and more rewarding when you engage in meaningful conversation. Yes, indeed. So prove it and you’ll have a fine book and, in turn, get your grateful readers talking.

Anna S Simon says

June 22, 2018 at 7:48 pm

Thank you for this. I am finally writing again after your last webinar. However, I’m still confused. My memoir is about one of the following: -We create our own misery -Hands-off parenting has both benefits and costs -Children will fill in their gaps of understanding and accept them as truth -We hurt each other because we love each other -The grass always seems greener on the other side -It is not wise to compare our insides with other people’s outsides- we will always feel lacking

Or are these the arguments? Do I need to pick one of the above to focus on? Thanks.

Dear Ann, These are a sightly list of things you know after what you’ve been through and if you put them in the order in which you learned them you’ll have a marvelous outline for a book, writing to each one of these, illustrating each with scenes. But the overall argument here is still missing, I think. What is the big, universal thing you now know after what you’ve been through? I think it’s linked to the first one — how we create our own misery. Can you finish that thought? If it’s true we create our own misery, can we create our own way out of that misery? Can we create our own joy? As soon as we learn that we’ve created our own misery is it a turning point for us to realize that we can therefore create our own joy? What do you know?

Anna Sher Simon says

June 26, 2018 at 2:01 pm

Thank you so much! I have been pondering this deeply over the last few days. Yes, I like the idea of the overarching theme being “We create our own misery, but once we understand this we make room for joy”. The only problem is, I was going to write about vignettes from my childhood, (as framed by specific rooms in the historic home I grew up in during the 70’s), but I didn’t learn this overarching message until I was in my 40’s. As a kid, I was just surviving and trying to raise my brother in a bizarre household (very much like “Running with Scissors”). So now I feel stuck- do I need the overarching thing to be learned during the period focused on? Thanks again.

June 26, 2018 at 2:12 pm

Hi again. No, Anna, you do not have to have all the realization take place at the time of the action. Many things are not learned until years later, and that gap is easily provided for when we remember that we are writing on a theme, not on a timeline of small events. You simply need to inform us of how and when we learn what we do — in your case, years later — and apply that learning.

June 26, 2018 at 2:20 pm

Whew! Thanks!

Heather says

June 22, 2018 at 10:35 pm

I am writing about belonging, as told through the story of having cancer treatment as a newly single expat in Beijing, China.

June 24, 2018 at 8:37 pm

Dear Heather, What about belonging can you share with us. You’ll see in these comments I use the phrase “return on investment”(ROI) a great deal. What is the ROI for your sense of belonging? What did it do for you? How did it heal you? Work on this a bit and you’ll get a fine argument.

Paulette Sharkey says

June 23, 2018 at 10:06 am

What do you think of this argument, Marion?

Going through life trying to conform to the expectations of others exacts a high price.

It most certainly does. So, what is your return on investment (ROI) of learning this, Paulette? That’s your Act Three.

June 23, 2018 at 12:03 pm

My memoir is about becoming my own best life advocate in finding the root cause of recurring epilepsy from childhood to adulthood with a specialized medical team and resources such as Yoga, meditation, and individual therapy to help me find balance physically, mentally, psychologically and spiritually.

June 24, 2018 at 8:30 pm

Dear Mary, Many thanks for this brave offering. Ah, what strength and power you exhibit here. We immediately want to know how this happens, specifically asking ourselves how we can become our own best advocate. So show us that process of realizing that you needed to, that you could, and that you did just that and what happens when you do.

Katherine Cox Stevenson says

June 23, 2018 at 1:45 pm

Thank you for this fabulous opportunity Marion! My memoir is about fully loosing myself to my husband’s rare and horrific type of dementia.

June 24, 2018 at 8:28 pm

Dear Katherine, How wonderful to see you here. I remember you well, as well as the complex story your are writing. So what happens when we lose ourselves? What are you saying about that in terms of what we lose and how? And what keeps us going? Caregiving is a huge burden for millions. Share the story and you unite humanity in ways many of us thought we could never be reached.

July 3, 2018 at 3:59 pm

Oh Marion how lovely you remember me! I am so grateful to you for these opportunities to get your feedback. I am learning a great deal reading others’ ideas and your responses. Very generous of you.

I lost my ability to write and fortunately it is back. I am scheduling two hours a day to take advantage of all the resources you have on your website for us. Thank you sincerely.

July 4, 2018 at 11:22 am

You are most welcome. Thank you for your continued readership. Best, Marion

June 23, 2018 at 1:51 pm

I want to write a memoir about how favoritism in families affect children.

June 24, 2018 at 8:23 pm

Ah, yes. What a good topic. Now hit that with a hammer, specifically the word “affects” and get specific in your argument so you give yourself every chance of succeeding. What are those effects and in what order do they happen? Make a list and then read it though, adding to it as you think of new ways we direct the behavior in a family with favoritism, and then write one, universal, over-arching sentence that argues something about this.

Jene Cates says

June 23, 2018 at 2:05 pm

Using new adventures to blast back to me.

June 24, 2018 at 8:21 pm

Dear Jene, I love the action in this — specifically, the “blast back to me” aspect. Good energy. So what do we get when we find ourselves? Make sure your argument is universal and encourages us to think about what the return on investment (ROI) is of doing so. Thank you for coming by. Best, Marion

June 26, 2018 at 12:10 am

Thanks for the feedback. I’ve signed up for Memoirama for September and would like to write my first draft over the summer.

My memoir will be about the conflict of my inauthentic self who married the wrong man for me because I was buying into the package of what was expected of me. Then I was unable to break free because my values demanded I hold the family together. And the authentic self who came to life when I got a Hall Pass (I think that may be my working title) when my husband of 25 years walked out.

Twenty-seven months followed where I ran from adventure to adventure flushing out who is the real me. And then, low and behold, the love of my life plopped down right in front of me.

So maybe, “It is never too late to find your authentic self and thus find the love you’ve been yearning for all your life.”

I’d love your feedback.

Martha Chabinsky says

June 24, 2018 at 3:09 pm

My memoir is a series of essays about incidents that have shown me that I have everything inside me to live my life- that is Divine Feminine Intuiton.

June 24, 2018 at 8:18 pm

Dear Martha, There are few story lines better than ones that argue that we have on us all the time everything we need to get home. It’s the basis of one of the world’s favorite tales — that of Dorothy of OZ, a tale whose endurance is spectacular. So yes. Write it.

Careen Strange says

June 24, 2018 at 5:48 pm

People are born with the inherent desire to belong to a loving, supportive family, but even with the best foundation, many families drift apart and lose connection when siblings become adults. I believe it’s possible to stay close and maintain vibrant, healthy relationships forever, but it takes determination and intentionality.

I want to write a memoir for my family (consisting of five grown sons and their families) about our efforts to work together to prove it can be done and brothers and in-laws can indeed succeed in maintaining unity. I hope to demonstrate how five competitive, entrepreneurial, combative, fun-loving sons with their equally capable wives and children still function in harmony.

June 24, 2018 at 8:16 pm

Ah, a memoir about the joy of family harmony. A rare gift, indeed. So, show us what harmony is and what it does for you and, in turn, you will be arguing something about why the pursuit of harmony is a good one. Go get ’em. And thank you for leaving this fine comment.

Mark Botts says

June 25, 2018 at 3:28 pm

Marion, thank you for your insights.

Here’s what I believe my memoir is about: Whether parents, siblings, religious leaders, teachers, coaches, or friends — the people you admire and seek admonition from and (perhaps) model your life after are not superhuman; they are human; they are flawed. Love them. Listen to them. But learn to make decisions for yourself.

June 25, 2018 at 5:25 pm

Yes, this makes sense. Now try writing it out in one, concise argument that you can put up on your wall and look to every day as you write. For me, this would be something about discernment which, for me, is among the greatest of human qualities. Something like: Discernment, above all else, will guide you through life with others. That way, the discernment covers all of it and, in Act Three, you can show us that the return on investment of discernment is learning to pick and choose among those human qualities you are exposed to but that ultimately the goal is to learn to make your own choices.

June 25, 2018 at 3:39 pm

Marion, I believe I posted my memoir’s theme and not the illustration.

The theme is illustrated through my specific experiences during middle school and high school in a church and church school. It follows me from last days in sixth grade to my first day at college.

June 25, 2018 at 5:46 pm

Dear Marion,

I hammered away at the topic. I hope you can help me shape this a little more. Here are my thoughts after reflecting a while.

How did favoritism in my family affect me?

I was confused about why my grandparents favored my cousins over me and my brother. My feelings were hurt, and I worked harder at trying to please my grandparents, but nothing I did was ever good enough. I felt unworthy, inferior and the lower I sunk, the more love and special treatment the cousins received. I felt like an outsider. Desperate for approval, I tried harder to win their love, but I didn’t succeed. My confidence waned, and I became more insecure around the extended family. My brother showed signs of the same. Neither of us bonded with the offenders, and we became more distant. My parents harped about the favoritism and pointed out the obvious. These little reminders chipped away at me more.

I became resentful toward my grandparents and toward the cousins for a while, though it wasn’t the cousins’ fault.

My immediate family was alienated from the extended family. We were excluded from outings and activities.

The offenders never changed their ways. The attempts to bond with my grandmother after childhood failed.

Possible arguments:

Just because someone is related to you, doesn’t mean they will like you.

When grandparents don’t like their own children, they won’t necessarily like their children’s offspring either.

If you were branded a black sheep, it doesn’t mean you were the bad one.

You may never completely understand why relatives favored others, but in the end, it was their short-coming, not yours. There is a limit to how much love some people can give because of their own bias or prejudice.

June 26, 2018 at 2:29 pm

Did I miss the point?

June 27, 2018 at 4:51 pm

Hi Ellen, not sure if you’ll want someone else’s two cents here.

Perhaps it’s not that you’ve missed the point, but that you’re still hammering it out, distilling it down, til you find that one – cliché sounding – universal. Then, you take that statement and work it into your own personal argument or spin on it.

For myself, I’m finding that takes a lot of hammer whacking. Every time I think “I’ve got it” I realize, a few days later, there’s more whacking to be done. Each whack gets me closer to the kind of classy distillation that this two sided universal (about) and my personal argument requires.

June 27, 2018 at 5:12 pm

Hi Naomi, Any advice is welcome. How do I know when I’m done hammering? There are dozens of scenes from my experiences that will demonstrate the emotions garnered from the effect of favoritism. A cliche argument everyone can identify with might be grandparent or parents who practice favoritism rob their children/ grandchildren of happy childhood memories and cheat themselves out of loving bonds.

June 28, 2018 at 12:12 am

Hi again Ellen. I’m certainly no expert. Just on the beginning learning curve here myself, too.

A couple comments may help a bit:

1. The ‘cliche’ simple statement is for your “About” sentence (not your argument). This will be VERY simple and it will be a universal. Often, it’s only a short phrase.

“Favoritism in families leaves bad affects” isn’t it. It still doesn’t – to me — have the ‘universal ring to it’ yet. But think with that kind of simplicity and you’ll eventually get to it.

2. Your argument statement is the one where your own personal twist on the simple cliché is presented.

I heard Marion say that it took someone she was working with about 6 months to iron out her “About” and her “Argument” statements.

In my experience, these don’t come lightly or quickly. Understandably so. We have SO MUCH in our noggins about our own stories. It’s hard for us to see, or get to, the universal simplicity that’s buried in their depths somewhere, waiting for us to discover. And then focus on,as one of the 2 main GPS points of our whole project.

TIPS: Marion’s Memoirama II or her Write Your Story course (new one) offer a lot more guidance on this majorly important area.

I also found Jennie Nash’s talks (you can sign up for a free mini email course – “Blueprint”) or take her longer course on Creative Live, also of parallel /complimentary content to Marion’s line of excellent thought.

Hope this helps a wee bit?

I think you have to be patient with this one. The golden nectar hidden behind all the scenes and intensities of our stories doesn’t give itself up quickly.

All the best!

June 28, 2018 at 1:00 am

Ellen, here’s my universal “about”.

“it’s about a woman’s longing for freedom”

(she dreams of freedom from her estranged husband, when that freedom is only possible via death)

It only took me about 10 layers/stabs to get to it. Grin.

ps – the bracketed material is neither my universal nor my argument. I just added it in for reference sake.

June 28, 2018 at 8:20 am

Thank you Naomi. I guess this process can’t be rushed. I thought I understood what to do but it’s much harder than I thought.

June 28, 2018 at 9:08 am

Naomi, Your comments to Ellen are helpful to all. Thanks for sharing them.

June 26, 2018 at 1:52 pm

Act 1 Ambitious and naive female civil engineer moved to Australia, found a job and hoped to get ahead. After 12 years of efforts and struggling and not getting anywhere, she decided to change careers only to find her new career on naturopathy would not earn much and by then she was 50 and financially in bad shape. Act 2 She went back to engineering without expecting much for her career but to save money for retirement. Through different jobs and bullying, she educated herself about how to save and invest. Act 3 While working on her new goal of financial independence, she got redundant by her bully bosses. To her surprise, she realized she achieved her second goal. Thank you, Marion, for your help.

June 26, 2018 at 1:56 pm

In Act Two, she also seems to have educated herself on how to defect/redirect the bullying and turn it into power. Right on. And write on. Nicely done.

June 26, 2018 at 2:03 pm

Thank you for your reply and all the best with your own writing Marion.

June 26, 2018 at 2:41 pm

You are most welcome. Thanks for the kind wishes on my work. Let’s all write well.

Francisca says

June 26, 2018 at 5:18 pm

Dear Marion, Thank you so much for the opportunity. Here is my idea:

It’s about defining the meaning of life for yourself, as illustrated by my first 30 years of life frantically searching outside myself and missing life before accepting this, to be told in a book.

Act 1: What’s at stake. Emptiness and overwhelmedness Act 2: What I tried. How I learned to provide meaning for my life Act 3: What worked. I am living my life

June 26, 2018 at 5:30 pm

I see what it is about. But what’s your argument? To answer that, consider what is the return on investment (ROI) of you defining the meaning of life for yourself? When you know that, you’ll have your argument.

June 26, 2018 at 5:54 pm

Defining the meaning of life for myself gives me the freedom from anxiety and to live fully and outside of my head

June 26, 2018 at 9:07 pm

Great. Now just make it universal — take yourself out of it — and you’ve got it. See the difference?

June 29, 2018 at 4:49 pm

I think I do. Defining the meaning of life for yourself, instead of waiting for it to appear, frees you from anxiety and to live fully outside your head.

June 27, 2018 at 12:29 am

My pilgrimage memoir has 2 universals: my own and God’s (His is an overarching biblical universal)

Mine: it’s about a woman’s longing for freedom (she dreams of freedom from her estranged husband, when freedom is not possible except via death)

God’s: it’s about the quality of Life inherent in His kingdom (a life quality found only on the far side of the cross)

Possible Argument: Hmmm…hadn’t got that far

Possibly: God’s goals for us, though immeasurably more costly than our own, net immeasurably greater results than anything we could ever dream

June 27, 2018 at 3:26 pm

Dear Naomi: I love this last offering. I’m not sure I know what you mean by costly, so clear that up. It seems like a huge realization and a major plot point in the story. But I think you’ve got a book here. Best, Marion

June 28, 2018 at 12:54 am

I don’t expect Marion to be back again. She’s already given us all so much here. But for the record’s sake, my further distillation.

My pilgrimage memoir has 2 universals: my own and God’s (His is an overarching biblical universal).

Mine: it’s about a woman’s longing for freedom (she dreams of freedom from her estranged husband, when that freedom is only possible via death)

God’s: It’s about the availability of resurrection power—the kind that only exists on the far side of the cross

Argument: God’s goals for us, though immeasurably different than our own and often arduous to connect with, net immeasurably greater outcomes than anything we’d imagine

Thanks for the push Marion!

June 28, 2018 at 2:41 pm

I’ve been protecting and carrying this story’s seed for 20 years. It finally got inseminated last night. As I worked out its proper argument, in response to your comments, the sperm and the egg met. This baby’s cells can finally start multiplying.

Exhilaration: I’M PREGNANT!

Deep thanks Marion for your huge part in this. Ever since Jeff Goins mentioned your name, things have, at last, started to happen.

June 28, 2018 at 2:45 pm

Congratulations!

June 29, 2018 at 6:49 am

Yipppeeeeee! I will proudly wear those stretch marks. Best, Marion

[email protected] says

June 27, 2018 at 10:28 am

Hi Marion, Thanks so much for offering to do this! Things are beginning to sink in after watching your videos and reading this blog post. I have a hard time understanding the difference between What this is about and the Argument but I think I’m getting there.

Here is the latest version of what my book is about:

Trauma can be life-shattering and difficult to heal from but horses can make it possible.

And maybe the following is my argument?:

Horses can revive, enliven and heal someone with sexual trauma and help to put the pieces of their life back to together again.

Plotline: As illustrated by my participation in a form of therapy called Equine Experiential Psychotherapy where horses play an intrinsic part in the healing process. I have struggled for many years with my emotional and physical health when I am led to a horse farm where I have a transformative experience with the horses, which leads me to leave an abusive marriage of 8 years. Through intensive therapy, I begin to realize I have been suffering from PTSD since I was very young. I begin to heal from this trauma through a series of magical and healing connections with the horses and the support of my therapist. I begin living life in a new and free way where I am able to be more present, connected and grounded in my life.

As told in a book.

Thank you ahead of time for your feedback! Have a great day, Sarah

June 27, 2018 at 3:24 pm

Dear Sarah, Many thanks for this. It seems you are arguing about the unique and therapeutic connection between animals and humans. It makes perfect sense. I keep reading about the myriad things that horses can heal. So, too, with other animal therapies. It’s a wonder. The time in now for this book. Write it. Let me know if I can help you further. Best Marion

Sarah Schatz says

June 27, 2018 at 7:58 pm

Hi Marion, Thanks so much for your support and encouragement. Yes, I think you nailed my argument on the head :) I am sure I will have questions as I get further into writing. Is this the best place to write them to you? I am slowly going through the how to write memoir videos and handbook and I am loving it. thank you! Sarah

July 5, 2018 at 11:06 am

Hi Marion, This process is proving to be extremely helpful as things are starting to come together as I move through the workbook. Currently, my universal theme and what my book is about is disconnection and connection. Nailing this down has been crucial to understanding how to structure the book. Thank you!!!! Sarah

July 5, 2018 at 11:25 am

Dear Sarah, I am delighted. Let me know what else you might need. Best, Marion

June 27, 2018 at 3:01 pm

Creative and contemplative practices–art, writing, connections with nature–can be the pathway through debilitating illness towards healing and acceptance of what is.

June 27, 2018 at 3:27 pm

Yes. Oh yes. Oh, absolutely yes.

Lorraine Gengo says

June 28, 2018 at 9:32 am

Hi Marion! My memoir is about how integrating the negative and positive facets of personality is painful and difficult to do, but ultimately it’s worth doing because the wholeness that results transforms your sins into blessings. As illustrated by what I learned falling in love with my husband’s brother and ultimately choosing to end my marriage.

June 28, 2018 at 10:05 am

Dear Lorraine, The idea of wholeness is a fascinating one. I’d center the argument on that. Wholeness results when we integrate the positive with the negative and accept both. Something like that. Proving it with your tale is your next step. Good luck.

Lorraine says

June 29, 2018 at 3:43 pm

I like it!! Thanks so much for your generosity!

June 29, 2018 at 2:34 pm

This is proving to be such an outstandingly profitable comment thread that I’m back here simply to tick “notify me of follow up comments” so I won’t miss a single learning opportunity shared.

THANK YOU again Marion for offering your expertise to us all here. What a wonderful launch-bang into our summers and our writing!

Debbie says

July 1, 2018 at 9:46 am

Hello Marion. What a kind offer you proposed and I hope it’s not too late to get a personal response from you. Below is what my story is about:

My book is about the importance of critical thinking as illustrated by an increased confidence in challenging ideas of those who want to control our lives.

July 4, 2018 at 12:58 pm

Hi Marion, I just discovered your website yesterday, and have been soaking up as much as I can ever since! Thank you for the priceless nuggets you offer all of us who are in the process!

I’ve been writing out my life stories over the last 10 years and have ended up with a giant pile of semi-interesting tales of my childhood and young adulthood. But now I’m venturing into more recent history.

The algorithm is: It’s about letting go of a need for control and finding a more positive way of living, as illustrated by my being diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and learning to live with the new lifestyle and limitations, as told in a book.

July 5, 2018 at 10:47 am

Dear Heather, Welcome. I am delighted to have you here. I think you are correct: When we lessen our control, unexpected, positive things can happen. Good for you. Please come back soon and share more of your thoughts. Best, Marion

July 5, 2018 at 11:00 am

I’m looking forwaHrd to doing that!

July 5, 2018 at 11:01 am

“looking forward,” that is!

Careen says

July 5, 2018 at 11:44 am

Hurry and write it, Heather. I want to read it!😊

July 5, 2018 at 12:37 pm

Thanks for the encouragement – I’m actually working on it right now! Hope your work goes well today, too. :)

July 9, 2018 at 3:30 pm

Hi Marion! Thank you for taking the time to read and respond to all our ramblings. God bless you for your encouraging nature. The following might be pushing your generosity, but I wanted to share my stream of consciousness re memoir, so here it is.

Because we live in a fallen, polluted, dangerous world, people are jaded, disillusioned, and discouraged. I want to write a book like the kind I want to read: one that’s happy, but not sappy; one filled with the wonder and excitement of a child’s first discovery and delight at seeing things for the first time; one that’s filled with love that’s pure and innocent, but that tells a realistic story of life; one that doesn’t ignore realities of sadness and loss but that depicts this with hope and acceptance of God’s overall master plan; one that’s filled with goodness and fairness; one that gives the reader a chance to escape into a world that can exist because it’s supposed to, because that’s the way God wants it. I want my story to provide hope and joyful expectation for the reader. This is the kind of text a person will reach for when she gets in bed and needs comfort and assurance before falling asleep, or when she finds herself in scary situations and needs to feel the sensation of a cozy blank encircling her shoulders and loving arms holding her safe.

I want to tell a story of an idyllic childhood. I’ll do this by telling my own childhood story of dealing with disfiguring scoliosis, of being cherished as an only child, of growing up and rearing my own family of five sons. It will be woven together with episodes involving my grandchildren, particularly my granddaughters.

I watch these little girls as they create the world they wish to live in. This world consists of breakable dishes, tea from silver pots, and sugar in most any form, preferably decorated in designer icing. In their world, babies cry and get picked up and loved. When they get hurt, there’s someone to comfort them. All animals are friendly. Small reptiles love to be caught and temporarily kept in jars. Fish need to be kissed and released. Butterflies and hummingbirds provide pleasurable watching. In their world, bucks and does live happily and shelter their young. Fawns like to be petted. Kittens love stroking and puppies thrive on hugs.

Somewhere in the midst of the chaos and terrorizing reality of this world, I believe we all yearn to find the eye of the storm, that elusive place where all is calm and peaceful. In the stillness comes healing—of the mind, the emotions, and ultimately the body. I want my narrative to touch this tender spot, to cause the reader to connect with the center and core of their being. For the skeptics who have never known a peaceful moment, I pray they experience its reality. I want my story to epitomize the hope they’ve given up.

So who is my targeted reader? The jaded person who needs hope; the one who needs to see that prayers do get answered; that good things do come to those who wait; that people can and do forgive each other; that even if they didn’t have good parents, their children can; that miracles still happen.

I want to illustrate these claims incrementally via blog posts, and ultimately in a book of memories dedicated to whom and about whom it is written—the members of my family.

Nom Johnson says

July 17, 2018 at 12:12 am

Sounds lovely Careen. Sounds just like the kind of book I look for when I go to bed at night. For some years (when much younger) I took Bill Keane’s “Family Circus” cartoon books to bed, for that quaint, warm, ah-ha before falling asleep.

If you have your blog address, and don’t mind posting it, I’d love to follow you! All the best, nj

July 18, 2018 at 2:29 pm

Why, thank you, Nom! Your response gave me that warm inside feeling we all crave. Thank you for your “following” request. I’m happy to share it: just go to careenstrange.com and click on blog.

I’m open to feedback and I welcome constructive critique. Thank you!

Also thanks for reminding me of the “Family Circus.” I loved it as well and followed those cartoons long before having a family of my own. I might dig them up and be re-inspired!

The best to you, Careen

July 18, 2018 at 8:32 pm

Second hand book stores, garage sales, or used on Amazon. Smile. Nothing like them eh?

Hurry up and write that book! Last night, going to bed, there was nothing quaint, relaxing, and quietly joyful for me to reach for!

The mountain of books in my room are all too darn interesting, or important. Definitely NOT relaxing bedtime reading. Grin.

July 26, 2018 at 4:55 pm

Dear Careen, What a fine intention this is. As you so beautifully put it, “In the stillness comes healing — of the mind, the emotions, and ultimately the body.” Show us. Best, Marion

Merridith says

July 15, 2018 at 4:49 pm

My memoir will be about the God size hole in each of us and how through a depressive episode I learned that joy is found in surrendering to God and letting him fully into my life.

July 17, 2018 at 12:16 am

Mmmm…sounds wonderful (again). Far too many people suffer with a dogged depression. And sometimes God and faith can make all the difference in the world. All the best on your project! ps -if you haven’t read Marion’s book (available in audio too) I highly recommend you do.

Nj – another-memoir-writer-in-the-making :-)

Merridith Frediani says

July 17, 2018 at 9:10 am

Thank you for your encouragement! I have her book on my amazon reading list.

July 26, 2018 at 3:54 pm

Dear Meredith, Yes: Surrender. Great topic. Write well. Best, Marion

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example of a thesis statement for a memoir

Writing the Memoir (Moxley): Introduction

  • Introduction
  • Tips for Writing the Memoir
  • Annotated Memoirs
  • Describing a Person
  • Describing a Place
  • Sample Topics and Essays

Introduction to Writing the Memoir

Teaching and writing the memoir .

            A memoir can be one of the most meaningful essays that a student can write and one of the most engaging essays for a teacher to read.  The spirit generated by the memoir can create class fellowship less attainable through subjects requiring pure analysis, description, or narration.  More than any other subject, a memoir demands that a student bring his sensibilities and experiences to school, and when that happens, it is virtually impossible for anyone to accept a mediocrity of passion.  Students and teachers are likely to treat writing as an experience in itself, a means for writers to understand their lives and for teachers to understand their students’ worlds.

              In Terrains of the Heart, Willie Morris writes,

  If it is true that a writer's world is shaped by the experience of childhood and adolescence, then returning at long last to the scenes of those experiences, remembering them anew and living among their changing heartbeats, gives him, as Marshall Frady said, the primary pulses and shocks he cannot afford to lose. I have never denied the poverty, the smugness, the cruelty which have existed in my native state [ Mississippi ].  Meanness is everywhere, but here the meanness, and the nobility, have for me their own dramatic edge, for the fools are my fools, and the heroes are mine too.

  As a young editor who left his native state for New York City, Willie Morris wrote prolifically about his hot Mississippi youth from the cold Northeast.  His essays on home preserve a way of life in the Delta—a complicated history marked by romance and violence—while he lived in a New York far removed from this past.  We sense when reading Willie Morris’s carefully crafted memories that he is coming to know himself through his writing and, in a broader sense, has resurrected a world that can help others understand their own lives.

            To both student and teacher, this is what I hope teaching and writing the memoir will give you:  a chance to investigate your past, your culture, and your lives in general, and in so doing, create a community of authors who delight in the struggle to write clearly, meaningfully, and correctly.

The Rationale

              By clicking here , or by opening the above tab, Annotated Memoirs, you will go to a list of six types of essays, each of which is hyperlinked to a sample essay and a discussion of it. 

              Each sample annotated essay will have the following:

1.  an introduction that comments on the type of essay and how it may generate good writing from young students;

2.  a link to the essay so you can open or print it;

3.  a discussion of the essay, called “The Craft of the Essay,” which explains the strategy in each paragraph or “part” of the essay so that the teacher and student can see how the memoir was crafted from the bare memory.  This section should encourage teacher and student to scrutinize the essay together during a read-aloud session to determine how they think the memory was turned into memoir;

4.  an “Assignment” section that gives the student some specific questions to answer that might help them see the further craft of the particular memoir.

Teaching Strategies

              As with any assignment, the teaching strategy depends on the size of the class, the amount of time allotted for the assignment, how much it is weighted, and so forth.

            Ideally, teaching the memoir should take 6-7 nights of homework.  These nights could be spaced over the course of two-three weeks.

            You could also make it a lighter assignment and cut it to 3-4 assignments, with only one rough draft, instead of the two I suggest.

Homework Assignment #1: 

              The teacher/class decides which category of memoir they will read together as a class to introduce the assignment.  For example, you may choose from the Annotated Memoirs to read the Writing about Death and Mortality assignment and its sample annotated essay “Death of a Pig” by E. B. White.  For this night’s homework, the students should print out the assignment and essay at home to bring to class as their text.  They should read the essay, read the “Craft of the Essay” discussion, and then answer on paper the questions under the “Assignment” section. 

            In class the next day, read the essay aloud (or as much of it as possible), go over the “Craft of the Essay” and finish the day having the students explain their responses to the “Assignment.”

            If there is any time left, you might get the students to discuss the topic, “Where does memory begin?” ( Click here for a passage from Willie Morris's Taps to get the ball rolling. )

  Homework Assignment #2:

              Open the  Sample Topics and Essays  tab to find numerous topics and sample essays.  Decide whether everyone is going to write the same type of essay or whether the topic will be open to a variety of memoirs.  Then read a few sample essays for the topic you choose. 

Written homework is to sit for 40 minutes and do a “fast write,” in which the student writes about half of the first draft of the memory, paying no attention to grammar, style, syntax, or organization. This assignment is to get the student to write or type 2-3 pages of his memory with some, but minimal, revision (the revision should take place after the fast-write).  Click on the tab, Tips for Writing the Memoir, for some help getting started after the fast-write.

            In class the next day, students will read aloud what they have written.  The object is to hear one or two inspiring accounts so that each student can “get the hang of the assignment.”  The teacher should be pushing everyone to develop his “voice.”   Again, see Tips for Writing the Memoir  for a discussion of voice and other terms.

  Homework Assignment #3: 

              Continue where the students left off in Assignment #2 and try to write 4-5 handwritten, or 3-4 typed, pages.  If someone does not like what he/she did in Assignment #2, then start anew.

            In class the next day, have the students read aloud their work.  By the end of this day everyone should have read his/her essay at least once, either on this day or the day before.  The teacher should keep track of who has read.  Again, note how distinct the students’ written voices are, and who is putting in moments of self-reflection and not getting hung up on chronological retelling.

  Homework Assignment #4:

              By this time the students should know the focus of their essay (in other words, what wisdom, revelation, or general idea that their essay is revealing) and should begin “crafting,” or creatively organizing, the memory to become a memoir.

            It is crucial that the student realize that facts are not solely important.  Good memoirs are a blend of fact and creation; this concept will be tough to defend, but the writers of memoir have flexibility regarding the facts of the memory, since it is the “truth” of the memory they are creating; sometimes the facts are too confusing or pallid to have the needed color to make a memory vivid.  For a memory to become memoir, it needs a larger-than-life appeal.  ( Click here for some comments by Dorothy Gallagher on fact versus truth in memoir. )

To craft the essay, for homework (5-10 minutes) try having them draw a timeline of the way the memory works; in class the teacher can draw the timeline of other successful sample essays.  They will see that many essays about a lost loved one starts at the funeral, flashes back to the life, and at the end returns to the funeral.  Flashbacks are crucial to building characters, dead or alive

            Also ask them to outline what they have written as best they can (10-15 minute assignment).  Then, looking at their outlines, they may see a way to restructure the telling of the memory to get the most out of it. 

            The students should be encouraged to imitate the structure of essays that resemble the one they are writing.

            With all this in mind, they should go back and begin writing a new draft for 30 minutes.  In class the next day, have them report on what they’ve changed and have them read some first paragraphs aloud.

    Homework Assignment #5:

              Finish draft number 2.  The students should be keeping track of their rough drafts, as their grade will be based as much on effort and process as on final product.  By now the essays should have incorporated a number of ways to build character, place, and their focus:  short dialogue, concrete descriptions, anecdotes, and moments of reflection.

            Have each student read his or her first 3-4 sentences.  Urge everyone to listen intently and decide which of these sentences should be the first one in the essay.  Frequently, the first paragraph or two can be cut.  It takes most writers about 100 or more words to get warmed up.  Remind them of the Truman Capote Rule:  “I believe more in the scissors than I do the pencil.”

  Homework Assignment #6:

              The final essay is due, approximately 4-5 typed pages.  The student should turn in at least two verifiable rough drafts and the final draft.  The teacher will have heard every student’s paper at least once and should have encouraged each student to drop by for 5-10 minutes during the last 4-5 days to discuss the progress of the memoir.

            The process of this assignment should be weighted as heavily as the final product.  I usually check that the student has written two drafts, contributed to class workshops, and has revised carefully by showing he has learned: 

  (1) to start strategically;

(2) to create the various characters through description, action, anecdote, and brief dialogue;

(3) to create place and atmosphere through concrete description, temperature, climate, and telling details;

(4) to build a strong focus through moments of self-reflection;

(5) to organize strategically, dividing his essay into many paragraphs, some short, some long;

(6) to unify his essay so that, although it may wander, it ultimately returns to some unifying point or image;

(7) to punctuate and write solid sentences that create a pleasing variety and rhythm.

  • Willie Morris's "Taps"
  • Comments by Dorothy Gallagher
  • Next: Tips for Writing the Memoir >>
  • Last Updated: Jan 18, 2024 11:10 AM
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  • Writing Guides

How to Write a Memoir Essay

Table of Contents

How to Write a Memoir Essay (Writing Guide)

  • Start instructions
  • Main part writing
  • Conclusion writing
  • Memoir example

Every individual has a past and a story to tell about childhood to adulthood experiences. Memoirs offer you the chance to express yourself through the rough or smooth ride of the memories. Hence, memoir essay writing simply is a chronological account of one’s life. A memoir closely relates to a biography but they slightly differ. A biography is the narration of someone’s life history and the person telling the story is not the author. On the other hand, the author of the record gives an account of his personal experience over a specific event encountered in his life. In this case, a memoir never covers all the noteworthy events of a person’s life.

Five Techniques to Start a Memoir Essay

  • Have a clear concept of what you intend to write about. Narrow your focus to a specific event that was pertinent to your life or a given circumstance.
  • Inform the audience of the purpose of writing the memoir. Each person writes for specific and passionate reasons with a target people group in mind.
  • Give a preview of the event that entices the reader. Let the tension build to make the person reading want to follow on to the end.
  • Engage the audience through captivating words.
  • Avoid chronological analysis of the occurrence as this dilutes the script’s value to the reader.

Writing the Body Paragraphs

In this section, you narrate the occurrences and factors surrounding the specific account. Expound on how this particular event influences your present life either negatively or positively. It can be a conflict that builds up to be a problem but in the end becomes the opportunity for the success of the narrator. Be creative to include other factors that would add value to your paper.  However, be honest and tell the truth as the purpose of such a script serves to share personal experiences that impact people’s lives.

Factors to consider while outlining your memoir under this part include:

  • Have in mind your reader and show rather than tell the insights of your circumstances
  • Employ fiction elements
  • Exhibit character and conflict in an emotional way
  • Be specific to detail and build on the details
  • Create a unique memoir scenario and avoid predictability in the text before a conclusion

Since everybody has diverse life happenings, tell your story in style and let the reader identify with you. Significantly, find the right slant to describe your story, and the body paragraphs will definitely flow. Nonetheless, types of outlining a memoir such as before and after, the whirlpool, chronological, character studies, and the narrative track exist. Moreover, create sustainable tension that shapes the overall story. The narrator chooses which structure best suits his description taking into consideration the pros and cons. A good memoir composition aims at enlightening the audience rather than exalting oneself as a victim or hero in a given context.

The Conclusion

You have to outline the changes made due to the event encountered. The audience needs to understand how you have handled and dealt with the conflict or character under analysis in the body context. Also, indicate your present stage of life as a result of the described events. Let there be a connection from the introduction to the main body.

A Memoir Example

It was dark in chilly weather. The sky was bright with the moon gazing down at me as I sat down on the bench outside, away from the noisy party celebrations. Friends and family had occasioned my 21st birthday with glamor and a joyous mood was in the air. As I sat staring at the glittering stars, childhood memories flashed through my mind.

On my tenth birthday, ululations and circumcision songs characterized the night. It was a day to transit from childhood to womanhood. The culture dictated so and my loyal parents were all excited to see me undergo and subdue the pain to adulthood. Now, I was old enough to be married and enrich them. I was property, very valuable and my virginity had to be sewn to maintain my value.

Nonetheless, my age mates were going through the same thing. False courage, I had to subscribe to it to avoid mockery. Three weeks after the practice there was a groom set for me, a 60-year-old man. I wouldn’t stand that so I had to run for my life.

The escape landed me in good hands, I now had access to education that has built my life into who I am. My rebellion was for a good course. Otherwise, poverty, poor health, and hard labor on farms would be my story. Tears trickled as I recalled the event and how many young innocent girls undergo the same. Backward traditions that violate human rights, especially that of the girl-child should be completely shunned. Presently as we celebrate, my parents acknowledge the step I took, though it brought shame to them eleven years ago.

example of a thesis statement for a memoir

How to Write a Memoir Essay Without Losing Your Mind

What Is a Memoir Essay

The memoir essay (or simply memoir) is a written literary piece about moments from your life. From French, mémoire means memory or flashback. If you are not a gray-haired old man, you still have something to tell the reader. You are the only person that knows you well. If you plan to preserve the most precious memories, start writing the memoir right away!

How does a memoir differ from an autobiography? In fact, an autobiography usually is a chronological story about your life. It tells the facts and events that have happened during your life path. A memoir, on the other hand, is one or a few flashbacks that describe your feelings and reactions to events and facts. The memoir is your personal reflection to a particular experience. A memoir can’t cover all of your life – only certain moments that are significant to you for a particular reason.

Writing a memoir is a good tool to see the real picture of the event and analyze your thoughts about it. It may happen that you will discover a secret or two that you can’t recognize at that time.

How to write a memoir essay in 5 easy steps

Before starting to write, you need to get answers to the following points. Defining the topic and target audience will give you the overall sense of what you should write.

1. Define the audience.

Why do you want to write a memoir? Who will be interested to read it? The answers to these questions will help you define the goal and topic. For example, if your aim is to write a commercial memoir that will bring you money and popularity, you will need to cover a general topic that will be interesting for a wide audience. The topic that may interest a wide variety of people will also interest the publisher, and you will raise chances of publishing your book. Think about how your text may help people solve their problems.

2. Pick the topic.

The first step to writing a memoir is to define the topic of your future essay. The theme or topic will help you stay focused on what you want to cover. How do you pick a topic for a memoir? There are no strict requirements for choosing the topic; it may be a description of your personal experience or just a story of your subway ride.

  • A turning point. Everyone faces turning points on their life path. It may be your first day at school, first date, graduation, the loss of the family member, victory at a match, etc. The turning point may be a cheerful or dramatic event in your life. What was the most memorable moment?
  • Family life. Most of the events in our lives revolve around our families. Here we can discuss our childhood, parenting approaches, family values, and how your relationships with family members have changed over time.
  • Work and money. Our career goals can bring us to the top or bring us nowhere. You can get a big inheritance or a grant on research. Or you can write a how-to guide on how to survive on a dollar in your example.
  • Life choices. Each person concentrates their own efforts towards family, work, education, health, hobbies, or social life. You can see that some of the spheres are more important for you, while others matter less. Have you changed your life priorities? How has it influenced your life?
  • Self-development and self-image. How has your image changed since you were a kid? Was it a problem for you? Think what made you change your style and why you have decided to move in a specific direction. Discuss what you do to live the life you want and how other people have influenced your point of view.
  • Mentality. Over the years, your spiritual beliefs may change. Think about how your family has influenced your beliefs. Do you consider yourself a spiritual person? Why?
  • Age. Every passing year brings us new thoughts and reflections. The older we become, the more eternal questions we address in our thoughts. What do you think about death? Analyze your life from this perspective.

If you decide to add some fantasy to your stories, you can describe your dreams or fantasy about the near future. Also, you can write a memoir about relationships, the role of an animal in your life, recovering from illness, your traveling experience, or overcoming a disaster. Nearly every event from your life may deserve to be imprinted in texts. Sometimes, good stories come from an ordinary event. You can also use our thesis statement generator to get some fresh ideas for your paper.

When you define the main points, you will be ready to start writing your memoir.

3. Tell the story.

Your first draft may look like a page from your diary. Try to write about your experience in your own words and without thinking about grammar or writing style. The aim of this step is to write down all details connected to your experience.

Try to hook the reader from the very beginning of your story. You can tell about a touching incident that serves as a turning point. Experiment. Some writers start their memoirs from the middle or end of the story to catch the reader’s attention.

4. Structure your story.

Memoirs usually have a story structure. The structure may change depending on the content and what effect the author wants to receive in the end. You can apply the following structure as a basis:

  • Introduce your character to the reader.
  • Describe the situation he or she has faced.
  • Tell what actions the main character takes to overcome the situation.
  • Explain why the situation seems hopeless/unsolvable.
  • Describe the event that has changed the situation and what lesson the main character has learned.

You can try another approach: imagine that you are writing a script for a movie, and you are the main character. All you need is to constantly see the image.

5. Give your story to someone else to read.

Ask someone whose opinion you value highly to read your story. Ask this person to make suggestions and give an overall evaluation of the text. Maybe, you have confused something or the story gets boring in some parts. The outside opinion will help you improve your writing. Besides, such readers can help you find grammar and other mistakes in the text.

Memoir essay example

In the text below you can read a sample of a memoir written by one of our writers. Identify the style, tone, and literary approaches that the author utilizes in the text. Look at the structure and the word choice. You can use the sample as a basis for your own creation.

My Way to Myself

When I think about it now, it seems ridiculous that I could have been so lost and scared without any objective reason for it. If my limited and prejudiced mind knew about the illusory character of reality, it would have obviously prevented me from acting like a fool when the situation was apparent and so simple that no efforts were necessary to make order from the chaos of my thoughts. But at that time, I was strongly convinced that the scale of my problem was incomprehensible for any living being in the history of humanity.

At a certain point in my life, I realized I had no idea about who I am. I discovered that I was everything, starting from my parents’ expectations, my teacher’s ideas about what knowledge I need, and my friends’ ideas about what should I do for them to deserve their affiliation. I was everything except myself. I prefered to have never faced this discovery. And if I had not, I would have never had to start this long and frightful journey from nothing to myself. I began to suspect that something was wrong with me when I became systematically bored with peers and classmates. I thought I was strange, and once I met what I deemed to be an interesting persona, and it proved my suspicion as partially true.

The one thing that I was entirely sure about is that he was different. Later I realized that our instincts chose each other for us. Apparently, he was not different, but just comfortable for me. I asked sometimes: “Do you think I am strange?” And he always said “no.” “So why do you choose me?” He replied: “Because you are special.” I always laughed at this answer. I don’t know why, but strange and special seemed synonymous to me. He told me everyone thinks they are strange. Partially, it was true. When we think beyond stereotypes and prejudice, we believe we are special. In fact, we are not. There is nothing brave in thinking differently. I dealt with hundreds of people who were unique and interesting in their own way. With some of them, we have become good friends. Others were guests on my way. One thing that united all of them was the desire for individualism. The capitalistic social order imposed a sense of individualism. However, in fact, it made us slaves within different circumstances and gave the right to choose the pattern of behavior within slavery. It is not strange that people struggle to be themselves in the world when they are told everywhere whom to be.

Everyone expects us to be comfortable: family, spouses, bosses, state, and church. Comfortable means deprived of the ability to be free. If we fail to meet the expectations, we are labeled as egoistic people immediately. Society encourages people to overcome the human egoistic nature, and they struggle with themselves in the attempts to win the battle in their instincts. What a ridiculous fight. They inevitably lose it and become victims of the system. I had lost it. Many of those people I met on my way I will remember for ages for their bright and enlightened minds. They inspired me and showed the variety of facets in reality. I loved them for their courage to think beyond the prejudice and stereotype. It was then when I thought that, by their unique approach to things and events in their everyday life, they were strange and special because they were distinguishable from the majority. Later I discovered that there is nothing special in thinking beyond standards.

Much more courage is necessary to act beyond expectations. I was not courageous at all. I don’t know why, but for my entire life I have been struggling with lots of inner conflicts. I knew answers to many questions and I knew how to improve the quality of a certain reality. But I was afraid of responsibility. For quite a significant period I was struggling with fear, and during this period I accepted challenges and risks everywhere. I can not say I was stronger than fear, I just looked fear in the eyes. I would not say that this battle improved the quality of my life, although my comfort zone has become much broader now. Recently, I stopped this struggle. I let the fear exist. I accepted it as an inevitable part of me. Generally, my way to myself started from letting everything that is a part of me exist.

At first, it was difficult to define where is “me” and where is the voice of my past. It generated anxiety and inadequate self-esteem. Later I realized that the reality is neutral and there does not exist anything right or wrong in it. With this discovery, a feeling of freedom came. I realized that I have a right to think the way I do. Even if my thinking was prejudiced and imposed, I have a right to think it. I also realized that I am not special and have never been. I just liked the feeling to be different, but generally, no objective reason existed that distinguished me from the majority. We are all with our inner tragedies, and that is what makes us identical.

Tips on how to write a good memoir essay

  • Most memoirs are written as a collection of essays. If you plan to expand the number of your memoirs and publish a book, you need to think about the topic of each story. It shouldn’t make the reader close the book or fall asleep.
  • Along with your significant experience, add descriptions of your ordinary life like going to the mall or taking a walk with a friend. This will add a more personal touch to your texts.
  • Don’t share stories that are not related to your life. Memoirs should be about your life and the happenings somehow connected to your life.
  • You can use slang and popular phrases. Use everything to make your autobiographical stories memorable.
  • Pay close attention to details. Even a small detail like the way you put sugar in your cup creates a specific atmosphere in your story.
  • Add an anecdote. Even a painful story shouldn’t be totally black. Show people that hard periods of time can be handled with a smile. Incorporate dialogues in your story. It will make your story more alive and interesting.
  • Don’t fall into the trap of turning a memoir into an autobiography. Your story should have a core theme and bring sense to the reader.
  • Read some memoirs by various authors: “Hunger” by Roxane Gay, “The Woman Warrior” by Maxine Hong Kingston, “The Color of Water” by James McBride, and more.

As you can see, it’s not so difficult to write a memoir if you follow our steps. We hope our guide from essay writer and sample will help you create an impressive memoir so others can cherish your memories for years.

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  3. 45 Perfect Thesis Statement Templates (+ Examples) ᐅ TemplateLab

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  4. How To Write a Thesis Statement (with Useful Steps and Tips) • 7ESL

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  5. Thesis Statement: How to Write it Good?

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  6. The Best Way to Write a Thesis Statement (with Examples)

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COMMENTS

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