creative writing about an abandoned house

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Description of an Abandoned House: a Short Story

• Categories: House Short Story

About this sample

Words: 759 |

Published: Feb 12, 2019

Words: 759 | Page: 1 | 4 min read

Works Cited

• Poe, E. A. (1849). The Fall of the House of Usher. Wiley and Putnam.
• Lovecraft, H. P. (1927). The Colour Out of Space. Amazing Stories, 2(6), 447-480.
• King, S. (1977). The Shining. Doubleday.
• Jackson, S. (1959). The Haunting of Hill House. Viking Press.
• Shelley, M. (1818). Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus. Lackington, Hughes, Harding, Mavor, & Jones.
• Matheson, R. (1954). I Am Legend. Gold Medal Books.
• Stoker, B. (1897). Dracula. Archibald Constable and Company.
• Straub, P. (1979). Ghost Story. Coward, McCann & Geoghegan.
• Morrison, T. (1987). Beloved. Alfred A. Knopf.
• Shelley, M. (1831). The Last Man. Henry Colburn and Richard Bentley.

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Amie Collins

Abandoned: A Short Story

It’s time for another short story!

Funnily enough, this is something which I wrote in my English Language GCSE exam, or at least what I could remember when I tried to recreate it at home afterwards.

Maybe this is weird , but I enjoyed writing it in the exam – after all, I hadn’t done much creative writing at the time and even if I was sitting in an exam hall with very little time to do all they wanted us to do, it was almost fun. And I liked what my story was about, so I decided to attempt to recreate it, which I think, considering, I managed to do. I got close, anyway.

I’ve edited it a bit, but it’s more or less the same, and I thought it worth sharing, even if it was written a little while ago.

We were told to write a short story with the title Abandoned , and we had 45 minutes, which really meant 30 minutes for writing, 5 for planning, 5 for reading over and 5 minutes spent on another section of the paper which really needed more time than they gave.

Anyway, that’s enough of my rambling, so here’s the story…

The sun shone through the gaps in my blinds where they wouldn’t close properly. They’d been broken for months now, but we hadn’t the money to spend on something as pointless as blinds. Food was far more important. 

I waited for my eyes to adjust to the uneven light sprawled across my room before getting up. Pulling back the covers, I stumbled out of the warm comfort of my bed and opened the blinds, allowing for a bucket-load of sunlight to flood my dingy room, falling even in the darkest of corners. A bird sang in the distance. 

Today was going to be a good day. 

The train wasn’t even delayed, which I took as a positive omen. The second so far. One more, I thought, and today was going to be the perfect day. 

We’d been saving for this day for a while now, placing pennies into the jar entitled “For An Adventure”, which sat on top of the mantelpiece. It was only to Brighton, but the train fare was far greater than it should be, and we wanted to have lunch out and browse all the antique shops where we were bound to find something we wanted. And normally our pockets were far too shallow to allow for such an expense. 

But, we’d saved, and Mum and I were going to have the perfect day, just us two. Though it was always just the two of us; Dad had abandoned us before I even knew what a dad was. But that didn’t matter; I had Mum, and that was the most important thing. 

It was starting to get warmer as the sun climbed higher and higher into the sky, where there were no other clouds as far as the eye could see: the third good omen. 

Mum and I walked down to the beachfront through the Lanes, arms linked: we were the arms-linked type of people. I liked the comfort and we could pass for sisters — she’d had me when she was only seventeen and she barely looked a day over twenty, even fifteen years later — so I wasn’t worried about the potential embarrassment. 

It was mid-afternoon, and the day was going just as I’d imagined, when I turned around to ask mum something about the flower I’d been looking at — she loved flowers and knew all their names — when I realised with a start that she wasn’t there. I spun around, twisting in a circle, trying to catch sight of her flowing golden hair. But I couldn’t find her. 

A painful knot formed in my stomach.

I waited a few minutes, standing exactly where I was, to see if she’d come back, maybe from looking in a shop or to smell some flowers. But she never did. 

There were hundreds of people swarming around me in the Lanes and, somehow, I managed to shove my way through so I was leaning against the wall for support, where there were fewer people to suffocate me. 

My mind was rushing, the thoughts speeding so fast I could barely keep up. I couldn’t help but think of reason upon reason for why mum had disappeared, but all of them came down to this: something bad had happened to her. It didn’t bear to think about. 

Pulling my bag off my shoulder, I rummaged inside to try and find my phone to call her. But then I stopped. My blood ran cold. 

Snatching my hand away, I tried not to panic. Because, somehow in that instant, I knew exactly what had happened to Mum and I didn’t know if I could handle that.

I didn’t move. The wall felt rough against my back, the people around me making too much noise, the bright sun no longer beautiful, but glaring and uncomfortable.

I gulped air into my lungs, and, steeling myself, reached into my bag again, pulling out a small wad of cash. It wasn’t terribly much, but it was more than I thought we could possibly have, and for a moment I thought it was in there by mistake. But when I turned it over and saw my mother’s even, looping handwriting, I knew it was meant for me.

There was enough there to know it must have taken a while to save, taken planning. Maybe even for months. I swallowed the lump in my throat as the knot in my stomach intensified, a tugging and incessant force, trying to tear me apart.  

My mother had abandoned me, just like my father. They’d both left me. I guess it was only a matter of time, wasn’t it? I stood there, dumbfounded, not having even the slightest of clue of what to do next.

I took a deep breath, and looked down, reading again my mother’s last words to me. “You’ll be okay on your own”. 

Maybe positive omens didn’t mean anything anymore. 

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Published by amie collins.

Amie Collins is an English author, who has always had a passion for writing and creating and is currently living in the South of England. All The Things I Would Do is her debut novel. When she hasn’t got her nose stuck in a book or writing, she enjoys listening to music, eating cake and drawing. She also enjoys playing with her dog and cat, although only one of them likes it (hint: her cat hates people). View more posts

4 thoughts on “ Abandoned: A Short Story ”

This was great! What mark did you receive for it?

Like Liked by 1 person

Thank you so much! I got a grade 9 for all of English language (so the two papers together) but I don’t know my mark for this piece on its own 🙂

this is so good!

Thank you!!

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Abandoned House: A Short Story by Yamini

If you were around in April, you’ll have seen that I took part in the A-Z Challenge and my theme was character prompts. I said in those posts that I would love to see some of the stories the prompts inspired in people.

Today I am sharing a story from the “A” prompt, Abandoned House . The story was written by the fab Yamini from Doses of Wild . Enjoy her story.

Abandoned House by Yamini

Tenby sniffed hard as he leaned through the window. The glass broken long ago, it formed a jagged black hole in the already dark afternoon. Other than damp, he was surprised at the lack of odour. The place was at least a hundred years old and he’d expected something more. There was a sound from behind the door on the wall opposite the window.

He froze. Instinct kicked in and it was astonishing how loud his heart beat now, and how the blood rushed in his ears. Stock still, he waited, but no further sound. Shaking off the sense of creep which had come over him, he walked round to the front door.

Pulling out the key, the realtor entered the house officially. This was going to need some creative description for sale.

“Doer-upper for the young and healthy. Bottomless pockets an advantage.”

Tenby grinned at his own wit. The strange sound from earlier came to his ears again. His breath almost stopped, he closed his eyes – he had no idea why – oh yes, it was to hear better. Nothing more in the next few minutes.

What had it been? A cat, an injured dog? Walking towards what he took to be the kitchen, the floorboards gave way beneath him, causing him to tumble into the deep cellar and crack his head. Seconds before he died, he saw the remains of many others… And the drooling dragon…

Did you enjoy the story? Share your thoughts in the comments 🙂

You can find me here: Twitter   Facebook Bloglovin Pinterest and Instagram Please do stop by and say hi!

20 Comments

May 10, 2018 at 1:17 am

Hari OM Oh Debbie, despite having the calendar marked, I managed to forget about this! Have linked it up with my next post over at Wild YAM bloggy – thanks again for the opportunity of indulging my imagination for 26 days straight… even if it failed me on a few occasions! YAM xx

May 10, 2018 at 12:10 pm

No worries! It’s been great reading your interpretations of the prompts x

May 10, 2018 at 8:02 pm

I always enjoy YAM-Aunty’s writings so creative and they give me great images for my mind’s eye. I really liked this line “Doer-upper for the young and healthy. Bottomless pockets an advantage.” Cecilia

May 11, 2018 at 2:02 am

Haha yes, it’s a fab line!

May 10, 2018 at 8:26 pm

Crikey! Great atmosphere. I knew it might not end well for him. And I wonder whether he died from the injury or the dragon – maybe the former is slightly preferable.

I missed A-Z, but what a great idea to share prompts. Odd as it seems, I can’t remember that being done before.

May 10, 2018 at 8:35 pm

Hari OM Thanks Nick – yes, the banged head was his end… well surmised! I really enjoyed Debbie’s prompts – do have a read back through them if you have the time! Yxx

I loved the story (and all the others too)

May 14, 2018 at 4:57 am

I hope he died in the fall, death by dragon sounds unpleasant. #AnythingGoes

May 14, 2018 at 7:59 am

I hate that ‘sense of creep’. A great phrase xx

May 14, 2018 at 9:18 am

Love then twist in the tail and the gory end! #anythinggoes

May 14, 2018 at 1:23 pm

This read really well. I love the accomplishment of a great short story; having to build suspense and nail the ending. This one was great! #anythinggoes

May 14, 2018 at 2:04 pm

A drooling dragon! What next? Does he make it out alive? #anythinggoes

May 14, 2018 at 9:44 pm

Really good writing and aren’t short stories wonderful for those who find it tough to carve out time to read #AnythingGoes

May 14, 2018 at 11:55 pm

They really are!

May 15, 2018 at 6:49 am

A drooling dragon, Oh I did not see that coming! #AnythingGoes

May 15, 2018 at 10:52 am

Oh dear! The others! Cheeky dragon! #Anythinggoes

May 16, 2018 at 10:26 am

I did not expect the Dragon!! So intrigued now! #Anythinggoes

May 16, 2018 at 11:51 am

Ooh a drooling dragon. I love it. The sense of suspense is wonderful. It reminds me of Rayne Hall’s short stories. #BloggerClubUK

May 16, 2018 at 11:53 am

I like it when it’s not just the author’s imagination but there is still room for a bit of our own.

May 23, 2018 at 7:22 am

How fab that you have inspired others to write. I love the twist in this! #bloggerclubuk

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Decaying House: Student’s Descriptive Writing Piece + Teacher Feedback

Below, you’ll find a descriptive writing piece, plus my feedback about it which was written by a GCSE student.

Many of the creative writing and descriptive writing questions in exams require you to focus on an object, person, place or thing. In this mini-lesson, I’ll go through the basics of how to describe a place in detail – and not just in a boring way!

Lots of my students get stuck on descriptions; they tell me that they can’t think of anything to write. Or they feel like they can only just list details or features of the object without being ‘creative’. So, if this is relatable for you then keep reading as we’ll be breaking down how to go beyond basic descriptions and transform them into something personal, powerful and meaningful.

Descriptive Writing: What is it and How to do it

Thanks for reading! If you find this useful, take a look at our full  Basic Descriptive Writing  and  Advanced Descriptive Writing  courses.

Decaying House: Descriptive Writing Essay

The house, rather old and shabby, as Katherine would describe. The glass windows were broken and shattered across the floor board like an explosion. The floor board squeaked and cracked as a step is taken. Dust fell from the roof and danced like a ballerina in the air.

As the days passed the rooms began to look like a jungle. Bugs crawled on the remains on the bed. Drawers now filled with moss and bugs and plants began to coil around the legs of tables and chairs. Plants grew into communities and more came as time passed by. Bugs gave birth to more bugs, they are like kings, ruling over the room. Across the hall is another room, but there were no other plants except lavender, and no other bugs than bees.

The trees surrounding the old house grew every few millimetres a day, the plants has grown onto the porch of the house and the road leading the way toward the mystery of the world. Moss has grown onto the walls of the house. The dampness inside of the house made a disgusting smell, as if it could kill someone instantly, but is was different before it was abandoned.

Summer came and went. The house grew old and would one day become plain wood again. Leaves fell and grown, the trees, too, would one day be gone and used as something else. Something that is un-useful to the world. The trees surrounding the house protected it from rain and wind. The house still stood like a soldier, even when it knows that it won’t live long.

FEEDBACK : 

I love your imagery and details in this piece, you have an imaginative mind and the concept of a decayed house is really well executed – you have excellent use of techniques and clear organised paragraphs that progress the imagery forwards. Each paragraph also signifies a clear shift or change in a focal point. The sense of the house being personified as an entity is also excellent! To improve, here are a few tips: 

• You have  a shift in tense between past and present – try to stick to one tense the whole way through be very specific with imagery, for example instead of saying ‘disgusting smell’, try to describe the smell in detail – is it like rancid milk, or rotting grey meat? Is it the sickly smell of decaying flowers that have sat too long in stagnated water? Go through your memory of terrible smells and find something that fits there! 
• Try to execute a tonal shift somewhere – go from one clear mood or tone to another in one of the paragraphs 
• Develop a greater control over punctuation, using more experimental pieces of punctuation such as colons, speech marks and semicolons.

Great work!

Thanks for reading! If you found this useful, take a look at our full  Basic Descriptive Writing  and  Advanced Descriptive Writing  courses, as well as other  English Language and Literature  courses.

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Fiction Writing , Writing , Writing Prompts and Exercises

Abandoned houses picture writing prompts, by lisa  •  february 16, 2017  •  0 comments.

When you look at a picture, do you only see what is right in front of your eyes? Or do you see more? Maybe you can see romance. Or maybe you are someone who reads mystery and intrigue into everything you see.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but it is up to the author to write those thousand words. (Richard Petracca) Will you be the one to write those thousand words?

I’m going to share some pictures with you in this article. You need to study each picture, ask “what if” questions and come up with stories that could be written based on each one. Allow your imagination to take flight and explore all possibilities.

Abandoned House in West Virginia, wikimedia commons

The picture to your right shows an abandoned house in the woods in West Virginia. At first glance, the house appears to be a nice place to live. Why would its owners abandon it?

When Charles Manson was a child, for a time he lived with his aunt and uncle in McMechon, West Virginia. I highly doubt that this was the house, but what if evil spirits present in the house he stayed in encouraged him to kill people?

What if this house was the site of a gruesome murder?

What if bank robbers hid out here to enjoy their loot before turning on each other?

What if this was a loving couple’s dream home until a rumpus of phantoms came out and scared them away?

What if . . .

abandoned house, pixabay

The broken windows, damaged siding, and missing half-step leading to the porch all say that this house has definitely seen better days.  What could have happened here that would keep this house empty of residents?

What if the family abandoned the house in the middle of the night for unknown reasons? What if it was a shroud of ghouls that caused them to flee into the darkness of night?

What if someone new to the area pays no attention to the rumors floating around about this house and buys it?

What if all the creatures who live in the wood surrounding this house have made it their home? How would they react to “intruders?”

What if someone tries to have this house torn down?

What if. . .

empty houses near Wroughton, flickr

The houses in the picture to the right are in Wroughton, England.  In most towns, there are houses joined together like this. They are called terraced houses. Since these houses are empty and are not for sale or rent, I would consider them to be abandoned.

The first thing I want to know is what happened in these residences. Why are they no longer for sale or rent?

What if inside there is so much damage that these houses are no longer safe to live in? What caused the damage?

What if these houses are inhabited by those you cannot see with the naked eye? Does an academy of apparitions make their home here? Maybe a degradation of wraiths scares away anyone who comes to look at the houses. A racket of banshees would only terrorize potential buyers more. And a blanket of poltergeists would throw things at the ones who still weren’t scared away.

abandoned farmhouse, easternmost Montana, flickr

This abandoned farmhouse looks deceptively peaceful. The field of flowers gives it a light that would otherwise be absent. The outside is a bit worn, so it could stand to have some repairs made, but it doesn’t appear to be haunted or deadly or filled with things that would want to hurt anyone.

For some reason, the first thing I thought of when I saw this picture Children of the Corn , but there are no corn fields. Next, I thought of dolls. Dolls can be beautiful, but dolls can also be creepy.

What if two little sisters used to live there with their mommy and daddy? What if these two little girls collected dolls? Of course, the dolls they collected would vary depending on the year your story takes place.

What if each of their dolls had their own chilling past?

What if these dolls only purpose was to add to their “family?” And what if the entire family living in this house disappeared without a trace?

Or—and this is a complete turnaround for me—what if a young married couple looking for a home finds this abandoned farmhouse? What if they are able to homestead and claim it for their own?

What does it take for them to remodel and make this farmhouse beautiful again? What hardships do they experience while doing so? Does doing this bring them closer or pull them apart?

It is obvious the direction my mind wanders when looking at pictures. 🙂 I know there are more writing prompts out there for each of them, but it is up to you, the one writing the story, to come up with them. They could slant towards mystery, romance, historical fiction, or thrillers. Stories for children or young people would also be an option. But it is up to you, the writer to come up with stories for each one that suits your style of writing.

abandoned slave cabin, pixabay

The last picture is of an abandoned slave cabin. What if the slaves who lived here were treated as family members by the ones who owned them? What if they were beaten and abused? The quality of their lives would, after all, depend on how they were treated.

What if two of the slaves who lived in this cabin were in love with each other?

What if two or more of the slaves who lived here hated each other?

What if one of the slaves who lived here was a favorite of the master?

What if the slaves who lived here were working on a plan to escape? Where were they planning on going? Was their plan successful or not? If not, what was their punishment for attempting to leave?

What kind of things happened in this cabin? How many children were there?

What if one of the slaves who lived there placed a curse on the future residents of this cabin?

Recommended Articles: Cat in Front of Fireplace Picture Writing Prompts Road Through the Woods Picture Writing Prompts Picture Writing Prompts – Chess Land, Mud Maid in the Lost Gardens, and an Igloo An Academy of Apparitions

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Book Reviews

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• Short Story

The Abandoned House

• An Hoang, Grade 6

I looked nostalgically at the old abandoned house that was standing there gloomily. The house used to be alive and cheerful but it was now forgotten and had an air of melancholy. Cobwebs littered the house, with the wooden roof and walls falling in. Sunlight no longer danced through the windows and sounds of laughter were no longer heard; all that was left was the remains of a long since dead house. The lights stared downwards miserably at a table that would never serve anyone ever again, with chairs that had not been warm in many years. Dust blew past the dark hallways, a sad reminder that this house would never be whole again. The house was not always dead. I can forlornly recall all of my visits to this once beautiful house. Every summer holiday, my parents had brought me to this house, my grandparents’ house. I had lived in the city, so the experience of living in a rural area was very different and yet it was so much fun. The bright sunshine, the gentle wind and the quietness that had been introduced to me in that wonderful house had all come to be things that I loved. After the first visit, I was always enthusiastically waiting to visit what had become my second home. I remember being so eager to help out, trying to help in any way I could, like attempting to help paint the house with grandpa, handing the right bolts and nails for fixing the fence or collecting the eggs from the hens with grandma. I had almost always messed up everything I tried to do but my grandparents had kindly taught me again how to do it properly. The house that my grandparents once lived in had so many good memories of my fun and carefree childhood that I knew that I would have to visit it again one day. After waiting patiently for ten years, I had went to the address that I used to happily go to every year. At first, I thought I had gone to the wrong house and yet, after going back and forth, I had come to the horrible realisation that the destroyed, abandoned house I was looking at was the right house. I could not believe my eyes as I mentally recounted how the now ruined house used to be when I was but a young child. The house was always bright and had young, hyperactive children (including me) running around, playing tag. The house was extensively cared for as my obsessive compulsive grandmother and my effervescent grandfather treated like an additional child. Flowers of all colours filled the elegant garden, brightening the entire area. In that one simple house, birthdays had been celebrated, laughs were shared and fireworks were watched. The house was the epitome of liveliness and yet it was now dead. It was now merely a shadow of its former glory, for the house was no longer alive, and never would be again.

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abandoned building - quotes and descriptions to inspire creative writing

• a spooky house
• abandoned house
• abandoned mine
• abandoned playground
• Abandoned swing
• abandoned theme park
• abandoned tunnel
• an abandoned city
• an abandoned street
• Derelict building
• derelict shop
• refurbished
• shattered window

The abandoned building gave shelter to the soul of this passerby, and soon became the only place I wanted to call home. I could have taken a cookie-cutter home, one of those ones in a row that could have been stamped there by a clerk. How can you ever really fall in love with a place if it is the same as every other?

In the hug of the abandoned building my soul was reborn.

The abandoned building glowed golden in the light of the new day, its' stones finding their way to join the dawn chorus.

The abandoned building had a soul, one that was stoic and sober, as if patience was easy for its grand pillars of rock.

First came the sunshine into the abandoned building, then came the nesting birds and sheltering animals of the woodland. And whom is to say that it is then abandoned? For nature will always flourish in such spaces.

I rested in the arch of that great abandoned building and wondered whom could lack the wisdom to leave such a grand old place?

A building may be abandoned for some better home, yet also when the occupants aren't wise enough to treasure its true worth. In this case it was the latter. She was solid; the years had come and gone only to prove her so.

The grand old dame of the mountains was a building raised of rock, as such, upon her abandonment the good spirits of these hills took up residence.

The paint over the soft wood is deep like the way mother spreads her cream cheese. The flakes peel at random depths showing different sun-baked hues underneath. In this way, in its decrepitude, the old bakery has become more beautiful. The door, once cherry red, is just the same, though the peelings are all shades of a pink that surrendered to the high August sun year after year. It will move on its hinges still, but with the weariness of of an old man. It creaks, the moan echoing to the rafters that still fight the sagging roof above. The windows no longer beckon light inside, no longer lift the gloom that the walls impose. Instead they add to the growing sense of damp and dark and permit the chill wind to penetrate.

In her years of solitude, the abandoned building let her dreams grow right from her foundations to her honeycomb roof.

I could have passed the abandoned building upon that wintry day, yet evermore will I be glad that I put my car into reverse. She was the treasure I'd only ever dreamed could be. And so, within those walls I build my company, turned my passions into my life.

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How to Describe a Mansion in a Story

By Rebecca Parpworth-Reynolds

In this post, we share 10 words you can use to write a mansion in your book. Are you ready to get into the details of how to describe a mansion in a story? Read on!

1. Excessive

“The excessive mansion had so many rooms that it felt like a maze, and the grand ballroom could easily fit an entire football stadium.”

“The amount of gold and marble that adorned the mansion would be seen by many as rather excessive .”

How it Adds Description

Often, mansions can be seen as status symbols of wealth, and as a result, can often be decorated to the extreme with luxury materials and additions. Although some might enjoy this display, others may disapprove, and see it as “excessive”.

2. Expansive

Covering a large area.

“The expansive mansion was a stunning sight to behold, with its towering columns, sweeping staircase, and numerous balconies overlooking the rolling hills.”

“The mansion was so expansive that guests had to charter golf carts to get from one side to the other.”

A mansion is described as “expansive” to emphasize its vastness and size. The mansion is not just large, but it also defies expectations of its size, helping to create a sense of awe and admiration in the reader’s mind.

Impressive and large in size.

“The grand mansion’s intricate architecture, elegant chandeliers, and ornate furnishings exuded an air of sophistication that left visitors in awe.”

“The mansion’s grand entrance with its sweeping staircase, high ceilings, and intricate details gave a sense of majesty and splendor that was fit for royalty.”

Mansions are usually large, awe-inspiring spaces. As a result, you may wish to refer to a room within the mansion, or indeed the mansion as a whole as being “grand”. The word also brings up ideas of status, helping your reader to get a picture of the people who might live there before they even turn up in your story.

4. Luxurious

Comfortable and expensive.

“The luxurious mansion’s expansive marble floors, high-end appliances, and state-of-the-art home theater system were just a few of the amenities that he could simply not live without.”

“The piece de resistance was the mansion’s luxurious master suite, complete with a private balcony overlooking the ocean, a Jacuzzi tub, and a massive walk-in closet.”

Mansions are usually kitted out so that those that live in them can do so in absolute comfort and with every convenience at their disposal. These “luxurious” residences can also help you to be able to create a contrast between the mansion in your story and your everyday home.

Expensive and luxurious.

“The opulent mansion, with its manicured gardens and imposing entryway was the epitome of an exclusive lifestyle that he would never be able to afford.”

“The opulent mansion’s decadent decor, from the imported marble floors and walls to the ornate hand-carved woodwork and gilded accents, was a testament to the owner’s extravagant tastes.”

Mansions are well and truly “opulent”, usually containing many bespoke items, designs, and items that others would never dream of being able to afford. This level of living often leaves those living in them to seem out of touch with the real world to your reader.

6. Ostentatious

An obvious display of wealth or power designed to attract the attention of others.

“The ostentatious mansion’s garish gold-plated fixtures, neon-lit fountains, and over-the-top interior design screamed of tackiness and excess, rather than sophistication and refinement.”

“Compared to the other, sleek and sophisticated mansions on the street, this one stood out ostentatiously as if it needed to one-up its neighbors at all costs.”

Not all displays of wealth are classy. Sometimes mansions can be made to be “ostentatious” by their owners. This can then leave your reader questioning why the homeowners wish to openly show their wealth in such a way, whether it is insecurity or another reason under the surface.

7. Palatial

• Large and beautiful .
• Like a palace.

“The palatial mansion’s sprawling estate, with its numerous guest houses, horse stables, and tennis courts, was fit for a king.”

“The palatial entrance hall of the mansion made her feel as if she had stepped into some sort of fairy tale.”

Some mansions can be so large or so decadent in the way that they are decorated, that they are almost like royal palaces! Help your reader to understand the grandeur of the surroundings that your characters find themselves in by describing it as “palatial”.

8. Spacious

Having a lot of space .

“The mansion’s spacious living areas, including multiple sitting rooms, a grand formal dining room, and a sprawling chef’s kitchen, provided ample room for hosting large gatherings and entertaining guests in style.”

“The mansion’s spacious bedrooms were almost like standalone apartments, offering everything the guests could need without even needing to leave their quarters.”

Describing a mansion as “spacious” in your story not only helps to illustrate how large it is, but how open and airy it is even though it has everything one could ever need inside. This space could also help those inside to feel lonely or alone, as they may be far away from people who are still in the same building as them due to the sheer expanse.

Formal in style and appearance.

“The stately mansion’s impressive facade, with its towering columns, intricate stone carvings, and regal symmetry, was a testament to its timeless elegance and grandeur.”

“The stately mansion’s expansive grounds, featuring a sweeping driveway, manicured lawns, and mature trees, exuded an aura of refinement and exclusivity, setting the stage for the impressive home that lay beyond.”

If your mansion has a lot of history and reputation behind it, you may wish to describe it as “stately”. This suggests that the mansion is more than just a large and luxurious home: it’s a property that exudes a certain sense of authority, tradition, and respectability, usually mirroring its owners.

10. Statement

Something that has been explicitly designed to be noticeable and stylish.

“The mansion was built not only as a home but as a statement of wealth, power, and status.”

“The grandiose design of the mansion was a clear statement of its owner’s taste for opulence and extravagance.”

Mansions aren’t usually built for no reason, and are usually made in order to say something. As a result, they become not just buildings, but “statements” of power, status, and even the character and personality of their owners. What “statement” the mansion in your story offers to your reader and your characters is up to you!

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The Abandoned Beach House

by Jenny Cleveland (Rancho Cucamonga, CA)

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WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®

Helping writers become bestselling authors

Setting Description Entry: Haunted House (inside)

May 23, 2009 by BECCA PUGLISI

Sight Dust, cobwebs, sheets on furniture, broken tables, chairs, windows, lamps, peeling wallpaper, gaps in the floorboards, holes in the walls, flickering lights (if there’s electricity) chandelier with broken strings of crystals, broken glass on the floor, spiders, cockroaches, rust, mildew, ripped curtains, shadows, gloomy staircases, old portraits & paintings, cracked…

footsteps on the stair, creaking doors, window shutters rattling on the outside, wind scattering/rustling paper through a broken window gap, words whispered in ear, screams, crying, wailing, laughter, glass smashing, the scrap of a chair moving, the scritch of tree branches scraping at the windows, rats squeaking, movement in the walls, a…

Phantom perfume or cologne, burning smells, pipe or cigarette smoke, mildew, rot, dank, rusty or metallic smells, wet wood and stone, rancid breath, yeasty beer smell, food, dust, dry rot, rat/mice feces, urine

Sour & dry mouth from fear, dust floating in the air and coating the tongue, salty tears

A phantom hand on the shoulder, the puff of breath on the earlobe or the back of the neck, the sensation of being grabbed on the arm, pushed, pulled, pinched, poked, slapped, burned, a feeling of light-headedness and nausea, hair rising on arms or the back of the neck, the body’s reaction to a drop in temperature (chills, shivering, breath puffing out…

Helpful hints:

–The words you choose can convey atmosphere and mood.

Example 1:  I cringed at each creak on the old warped stairs, but it didn’t sway my determination to make it to the bedroom on the second floor. Halfway up, a shadow flickered at the corner of my vision. I froze, and as I stood there, caught a woody scent lingering in the air. Tobacco smoke? A shiver curled through the hairs on the back of my neck then cascaded down my backbone. It was all I could do to not hurl myself back down the stairs toward the front door…

–Similes and metaphors create strong imagery when used sparingly.

Example 1: (Metaphor ) The dining room chair suddenly jolted back and tilted toward me, a gracious invitation by an invisible host…

Think beyond what a character sees, and provide a sensory feast for readers

Setting is much more than just a backdrop, which is why choosing the right one and describing it well is so important. To help with this, we have expanded and integrated this thesaurus into our online library at One Stop For Writers.

Each entry has been enhanced to include possible sources of conflict, people commonly found in these locales, and setting-specific notes and tips, and the collection itself has been augmented to include a whopping 230 entries—all of which have been cross-referenced with our other thesauruses for easy searchability. So if you’re interested in seeing this powerful Setting Thesaurus , head on over and register at One Stop.

On the other hand, if you prefer your references in book form, we’ve got you covered, too, because both books are now available for purchase in digital and print copies. In addition to the entries, each book contains instructional front matter to help you maximize your settings. With advice on topics like making your setting do double duty and using figurative language to bring them to life, these books offer ample information to help you maximize your settings and write them effectively.

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers —a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.

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Reader Interactions

May 14, 2021 at 1:51 pm

creepy…

May 8, 2021 at 6:48 pm

Oh wow. It hadn’t occurred to me to make a list of all the things to do with my settings. Thank you for this. Brilliant!

May 10, 2021 at 5:53 am

It’s so much easier to get the setting exactly where we want it when we know beforehand what to aim for :).

March 12, 2021 at 5:58 pm

I really love this Thank you so much for doing this

March 2, 2021 at 2:17 pm

February 18, 2021 at 8:34 am

Thankyou soo much…it really helped me

February 13, 2021 at 5:04 am

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February 10, 2021 at 6:25 am

thank you so much, helped me alot during lockdown!!

February 11, 2021 at 8:29 am

Well thank goodness for that!

December 22, 2020 at 12:24 am

Thank You really helpful

December 12, 2020 at 5:30 am

December 4, 2020 at 11:38 pm

Thank you so much, there are totally enough ideas for me for my essay

November 22, 2020 at 10:04 am

Very helpful

November 10, 2020 at 5:41 pm

thank you so much i needed ideas and this gave me so much.

October 21, 2020 at 4:50 pm

I am doing a descriptive writing project and this helped me so much! Thank You!

October 21, 2020 at 7:01 pm

Glad it helped!

March 20, 2021 at 6:59 am

October 8, 2020 at 11:51 am

I love the website I had to write a paper about Halloween and I used this website to find my d Description Word I need . Who ever made this website I don’t know what I would tell him or her but it’s one of my favorite it gives me great description of what words I don’t understand and I then I can use it later if I could rate it 5 stars

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September 26, 2020 at 5:48 pm

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March 25, 2020 at 1:17 am

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January 2, 2020 at 5:56 am

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December 3, 2019 at 2:51 pm

This is awesome！👌

March 31, 2021 at 11:41 pm

This awesome

November 18, 2019 at 1:32 pm

This is so helpful for everyone . People can use them in essays while describing a haunted house .

November 10, 2020 at 5:43 pm

That is exactly what i used it for

November 11, 2019 at 7:02 am

This is so helpful! Definately the best website for writing! Thanksssss❤️❤️

November 11, 2019 at 10:42 am

Happy this helps!

November 3, 2019 at 7:28 am

October 25, 2019 at 4:58 am

I really like it. It’s really good.for.young children and writers. I love it do much

July 1, 2019 at 6:21 pm

wow I really needed this thank you sooo much

May 25, 2019 at 11:22 am

Amazing. Im a 14-year-old writer and all these descriptions inspired me on how to write my mystery book. Thanks so much Becca

February 9, 2019 at 6:29 pm

I really liked it because it helped me a lot to inspire me with my writing for greater depth.It was all very creative and amazing 😃👍🏻

January 28, 2019 at 11:34 am

very good descriptions

January 3, 2019 at 11:03 pm

This is too helpful

November 11, 2018 at 4:21 am

Helpful!!!!!

June 6, 2019 at 2:08 am

Good descriptive terms and phrases!!

October 24, 2018 at 1:23 pm

Thank you so much you have helped me so much.

October 23, 2018 at 10:49 am

This story describes the house and starts to leave an image of what the inside of the house looks like. I get shivers reading it.

October 22, 2018 at 11:10 am

I love this website it helps me

July 22, 2018 at 8:38 am

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November 19, 2018 at 11:04 pm

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December 13, 2017 at 7:04 am

Thank you so much it really helped write my writing assessment and get full marks, don’t worry i didn’t cheat that much!

October 25, 2019 at 12:17 pm

lmao “that much”

November 9, 2017 at 5:32 pm

It Game Some Ideas What To Write

April 4, 2017 at 1:37 pm

Its just awesome because I get a idea to write it in my suspense story??

March 19, 2017 at 11:49 am

thanks alot it really helped me in my suspense story writing and it did really gave me some ideas to write it thanks 😉

December 3, 2016 at 8:15 am

Thank you very much. This is helpful to do my English HW. Zabit Khwaja

September 12, 2018 at 2:01 pm

October 25, 2016 at 2:12 pm

Thank you !! This has really helped me to do my homework and to inspire me for different t ideas.

October 6, 2016 at 9:45 am

this helped me do my English course thank u sooo much

September 1, 2011 at 9:32 am

this is awesome! 😀 helped me do my coursework for English! thanks a lot 😀

October 14, 2010 at 8:47 pm

this story is awsome i want to read another one.

September 16, 2010 at 12:48 pm

Thanks Aloot It Helped Me In My English Homework:) But I Think It Would Be Better If There Were More Examples Of Haunted Houses:D x

April 3, 2010 at 4:53 pm

this has helped me a great deal with my story for my English class 🙂

May 27, 2009 at 11:34 am

I love the image of the child riding a phantom rocking horse — very effective.

May 25, 2009 at 11:48 pm

This one was so fun to do. There are so many unusual settings to explore–stay tuned!

May 24, 2009 at 6:08 pm

You gals cover some of the greatest topics!!! Hope you can get these out in book form soon or eventually! Keep up the good work!

May 24, 2009 at 7:21 am

I can hear the wind moaning around corners…whhoooooooooowhoooooo.

May 24, 2009 at 7:14 am

Fantastic! Thanks!

May 23, 2009 at 4:09 pm

Gives me the shivers too. =)

May 23, 2009 at 1:35 pm

Gives me shivers just reading it. 😉