Computer Science Essay Examples

Nova A.

Explore 15+ Brilliant Computer Science Essay Examples: Tips Included

Published on: May 5, 2023

Last updated on: Jan 30, 2024

Computer Science Essay Examples

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Do you struggle with writing computer science essays that get you the grades you deserve?

If so, you're not alone!

Crafting a top-notch essay can be a daunting task, but it's crucial to your success in the field of computer science.

For that, CollegeEssay.org has a solution for you!

In this comprehensive guide, we'll provide you with inspiring examples of computer science essays. You'll learn everything you need to know to write effective and compelling essays that impress your professors and get you the grades you deserve.

So, let's dive in and discover the secrets to writing amazing computer science essays!

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Computer Science Essays: Understanding the Basics

A computer science essay is a piece of writing that explores a topic related to computer science. It may take different forms, such as an argumentative essay, a research paper, a case study, or a reflection paper. 

Just like any other essay, it should be well-researched, clear, concise, and effectively communicate the writer's ideas and arguments.

Computer essay examples encompass a wide range of topics and types, providing students with a diverse set of writing opportunities. 

Here, we will explore some common types of computer science essays:

Middle School Computer Science Essay Example

College Essay Example Computer Science

University Computer Science Essay Example

Computer Science Extended Essay Example

Uiuc Computer Science Essay Example [

Computer Science Essay Examples For Different Fields

Computer science is a broad field that encompasses many different areas of study. For that, given below are some examples of computer science essays for some of the most popular fields within the discipline. 

By exploring these examples, you can gain insight into the different types of essays within this field.

College Application Essay Examples Computer Science

The Future of Computers Technology

Historical Development of Computer Science

Young Children and Technology: Building Computer Literacy

Computer Science And Artificial Intelligence

Looking for more examples of computer science essays? Given below are some additional examples of computer science essays for readers to explore and gain further inspiration from. 

Computer Science – My Choice for Future Career

My Motivation to Pursue Undergraduate Studies in Computer Engineering

Abstract Computer Science

Computer Science Personal Statement Example

Sop For Computer Science

Computer Science Essay Topics

There are countless computer science essay topics to choose from, so it can be challenging to narrow down your options. 

However, the key is to choose a topic that you are passionate about and that aligns with your assignment requirements.

Here are ten examples of computer science essay topics to get you started:

  • The impact of artificial intelligence on society: benefits and drawbacks
  • Cybersecurity measures in cloud computing systems
  • The Ethics of big data: privacy, bias, and Transparency
  • The future of quantum computing: possibilities and challenges
  • The Role of computer hardware in Healthcare: current applications and potential innovations
  • Programming languages: a comparative analysis of their strengths and weaknesses
  • The use of machine learning in predicting human behavior
  • The challenges and solutions for developing secure and reliable software
  • The Role of blockchain technology in improving supply chain management
  • The use of data analytics in business decision-making.

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Tips to Write an Effective Computer Science Essay

Writing an effective computer science essay requires a combination of technical expertise and strong writing skills. Here are some tips to help you craft a compelling and well-written essay:

Understand the Requirements: Make sure you understand the assignment requirements, including the essay type, format, and length.

  • Choose a Topic: Select a topic that you are passionate about and that aligns with your assignment requirements.
  • Create an Outline: Develop a clear and organized outline that highlights the main points and subtopics of your essay.
  • Use Appropriate Language and Tone: Use technical terms and language when appropriate. But ensure your writing is clear, concise, and accessible to your target audience.
  • Provide Evidence: Use relevant and credible evidence to support your claims, and ensure you cite your sources correctly.
  • Edit and Proofread Your Essay: Review your essay for clarity, coherence, and accuracy. Check for grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, and formatting issues.

By following these tips, you can improve the quality of your computer science essay and increase your chances of success.

In conclusion, writing a computer science essay can be a challenging yet rewarding experience. 

It allows you to showcase your knowledge and skills within the field and develop your writing and critical thinking abilities. By following the examples provided in this blog, you can create an effective computer science essay, which will meet your requirements.

If you find yourself struggling with the writing process, consider seeking essay writing help online from CollegeEssay.org. 

Our AI essay writer can provide guidance and support in crafting a top-notch computer science essay.

So, what are you waiting for? Hire our computer science essay writing service today!

Nova A. (Literature, Marketing)

As a Digital Content Strategist, Nova Allison has eight years of experience in writing both technical and scientific content. With a focus on developing online content plans that engage audiences, Nova strives to write pieces that are not only informative but captivating as well.

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computer science supplemental essay example

PrepScholar

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Sat / act prep online guides and tips, my successful harvard application (complete common app + supplement).

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Other High School , College Admissions , Letters of Recommendation , Extracurriculars , College Essays

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In 2005, I applied to college and got into every school I applied to, including Harvard, Princeton, Stanford, and MIT. I decided to attend Harvard.

In this guide, I'll show you the entire college application that got me into Harvard—page by page, word for word .

In my complete analysis, I'll take you through my Common Application, Harvard supplemental application, personal statements and essays, extracurricular activities, teachers' letters of recommendation, counselor recommendation, complete high school transcript, and more. I'll also give you in-depth commentary on every part of my application.

To my knowledge, a college application analysis like this has never been done before . This is the application guide I wished I had when I was in high school.

If you're applying to top schools like the Ivy Leagues, you'll see firsthand what a successful application to Harvard and Princeton looks like. You'll learn the strategies I used to build a compelling application. You'll see what items were critical in getting me admitted, and what didn't end up helping much at all.

Reading this guide from beginning to end will be well worth your time—you might completely change your college application strategy as a result.

First Things First

Here's the letter offering me admission into Harvard College under Early Action.

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I was so thrilled when I got this letter. It validated many years of hard work, and I was excited to take my next step into college (...and work even harder).

I received similar successful letters from every college I applied to: Princeton, Stanford, and MIT. (After getting into Harvard early, I decided not to apply to Yale, Columbia, UChicago, UPenn, and other Ivy League-level schools, since I already knew I would rather go to Harvard.)

The application that got me admitted everywhere is the subject of this guide. You're going to see everything that the admissions officers saw.

If you're hoping to see an acceptance letter like this in your academic future, I highly recommend you read this entire article. I'll start first with an introduction to this guide and important disclaimers. Then I'll share the #1 question you need to be thinking about as you construct your application. Finally, we'll spend a lot of time going through every page of my college application, both the Common App and the Harvard Supplemental App.

Important Note: the foundational principles of my application are explored in detail in my How to Get Into Harvard guide . In this popular guide, I explain:

  • what top schools like the Ivy League are looking for
  • how to be truly distinctive among thousands of applicants
  • why being well-rounded is the kiss of death

If you have the time and are committed to maximizing your college application success, I recommend you read through my Harvard guide first, then come back to this one.

You might also be interested in my other two major guides:

  • How to Get a Perfect SAT Score / Perfect ACT Score
  • How to Get a 4.0 GPA

What's in This Harvard Application Guide?

From my student records, I was able to retrieve the COMPLETE original application I submitted to Harvard. Page by page, word for word, you'll see everything exactly as I presented it : extracurricular activities, awards and honors, personal statements and essays, and more.

In addition to all this detail, there are two special parts of this college application breakdown that I haven't seen anywhere else :

  • You'll see my FULL recommendation letters and evaluation forms. This includes recommendations from two teachers, one principal, and supplementary writers. Normally you don't get to see these letters because you waive access to them when applying. You'll see how effective strong teacher advocates will be to your college application, and why it's so important to build strong relationships with your letter writers .
  • You'll see the exact pen marks made by my Harvard admissions reader on my application . Members of admissions committees consider thousands of applications every year, which means they highlight the pieces of each application they find noteworthy. You'll see what the admissions officer considered important—and what she didn't.

For every piece of my application, I'll provide commentary on what made it so effective and my strategies behind creating it. You'll learn what it takes to build a compelling overall application.

Importantly, even though my application was strong, it wasn't perfect. I'll point out mistakes I made that I could have corrected to build an even stronger application.

Here's a complete table of contents for what we'll be covering. Each link goes directly to that section, although I'd recommend you read this from beginning to end on your first go.

Common Application

Personal Data

Educational data, test information.

  • Activities: Extracurricular, Personal, Volunteer
  • Short Answer
  • Additional Information

Academic Honors

Personal statement, teacher and counselor recommendations.

  • Teacher Letter #1: AP Chemistry
  • Teacher Letter #2: AP English Lang

School Report

  • Principal Recommendation

Harvard Application Supplement

  • Supplement Form
  • Writing Supplement Essay

Supplementary Recommendation #1

Supplementary recommendation #2, supplemental application materials.

Final Advice for You

I mean it—you'll see literally everything in my application.

In revealing my teenage self, some parts of my application will be pretty embarrassing (you'll see why below). But my mission through my company PrepScholar is to give the world the most helpful resources possible, so I'm publishing it.

One last thing before we dive in—I'm going to anticipate some common concerns beforehand and talk through important disclaimers so that you'll get the most out of this guide.

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Important Disclaimers

My biggest caveat for you when reading this guide: thousands of students get into Harvard and Ivy League schools every year. This guide tells a story about one person and presents one archetype of a strong applicant. As you'll see, I had a huge academic focus, especially in science ( this was my Spike ). I'm also irreverent and have a strong, direct personality.

What you see in this guide is NOT what YOU need to do to get into Harvard , especially if you don't match my interests and personality at all.

As I explain in my Harvard guide , I believe I fit into one archetype of a strong applicant—the "academic superstar" (humor me for a second, I know calling myself this sounds obnoxious). There are other distinct ways to impress, like:

  • being world-class in a non-academic talent
  • achieving something difficult and noteworthy—building a meaningful organization, writing a novel
  • coming from tremendous adversity and performing remarkably well relative to expectations

Therefore, DON'T worry about copying my approach one-for-one . Don't worry if you're taking a different number of AP courses or have lower test scores or do different extracurriculars or write totally different personal statements. This is what schools like Stanford and Yale want to see—a diversity in the student population!

The point of this guide is to use my application as a vehicle to discuss what top colleges are looking for in strong applicants. Even though the specific details of what you'll do are different from what I did, the principles are the same. What makes a candidate truly stand out is the same, at a high level. What makes for a super strong recommendation letter is the same. The strategies on how to build a cohesive, compelling application are the same.

There's a final reason you shouldn't worry about replicating my work—the application game has probably changed quite a bit since 2005. Technology is much more pervasive, the social issues teens care about are different, the extracurricular activities that are truly noteworthy have probably gotten even more advanced. What I did might not be as impressive as it used to be. So focus on my general points, not the specifics, and think about how you can take what you learn here to achieve something even greater than I ever did.

With that major caveat aside, here are a string of smaller disclaimers.

I'm going to present my application factually and be 100% straightforward about what I achieved and what I believed was strong in my application. This is what I believe will be most helpful for you. I hope you don't misinterpret this as bragging about my accomplishments. I'm here to show you what it took for me to get into Harvard and other Ivy League schools, not to ask for your admiration. So if you read this guide and are tempted to dismiss my advice because you think I'm boasting, take a step back and focus on the big picture—how you'll improve yourself.

This guide is geared toward admissions into the top colleges in the country , often with admissions rates below 10%. A sample list of schools that fit into this: Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Stanford, Columbia, MIT, UChicago, Duke, UPenn, CalTech, Johns Hopkins, Dartmouth, Northwestern, Brown. The top 3-5 in that list are especially looking for the absolute best students in the country , since they have the pick of the litter.

Admissions for these selective schools works differently from schools with >20% rates. For less selective schools, having an overall strong, well-rounded application is sufficient for getting in. In particular, having an above average GPA and test scores goes the majority of the way toward getting you admission to those schools. The higher the admission rate, the more emphasis will be placed on your scores. The other pieces I'll present below—personal statements, extracurriculars, recommendations—will matter less.

Still, it doesn't hurt to aim for a stronger application. To state the obvious, an application strong enough to get you Columbia will get you into UCLA handily.

In my application, I've redacted pieces of my application for privacy reasons, and one supplementary recommendation letter at the request of the letter writer. Everything else is unaltered.

Throughout my application, we can see marks made by the admissions officer highlighting and circling things of note (you'll see the first example on the very first page). I don't have any other applications to compare these to, so I'm going to interpret these marks as best I can. For the most part, I assume that whatever he underlines or circles is especially important and noteworthy —points that he'll bring up later in committee discussions. It could also be that the reader got bored and just started highlighting things, but I doubt this.

Finally, I co-founded and run a company called PrepScholar . We create online SAT/ACT prep programs that adapt to you and your strengths and weaknesses . I believe we've created the best prep program available, and if you feel you need to raise your SAT/ACT score, then I encourage you to check us out . I want to emphasize that you do NOT need to buy a prep program to get a great score , and the advice in this guide has little to do with my company. But if you're aren't sure how to improve your score and agree with our unique approach to SAT/ACT prep, our program may be perfect for you.

With all this past us, let's get started.

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The #1 Most Important College Application Question: What Is Your PERSONAL NARRATIVE?

If you stepped into an elevator with Yale's Dean of Admissions and you had ten seconds to describe yourself and why you're interesting, what would you say?

This is what I call your PERSONAL NARRATIVE. These are the three main points that represent who you are and what you're about . This is the story that you tell through your application, over and over again. This is how an admissions officer should understand you after just glancing through your application. This is how your admissions officer will present you to the admissions committee to advocate for why they should accept you.

The more unique and noteworthy your Personal Narrative is, the better. This is how you'll stand apart from the tens of thousands of other applicants to your top choice school. This is why I recommend so strongly that you develop a Spike to show deep interest and achievement. A compelling Spike is the core of your Personal Narrative.

Well-rounded applications do NOT form compelling Personal Narratives, because "I'm a well-rounded person who's decent at everything" is the exact same thing every other well-rounded person tries to say.

Everything in your application should support your Personal Narrative , from your course selection and extracurricular activities to your personal statements and recommendation letters. You are a movie director, and your application is your way to tell a compelling, cohesive story through supporting evidence.

Yes, this is overly simplistic and reductionist. It does not represent all your complexities and your 17 years of existence. But admissions offices don't have the time to understand this for all their applicants. Your PERSONAL NARRATIVE is what they will latch onto.

Here's what I would consider my Personal Narrative (humor me since I'm peacocking here):

1) A science obsessive with years of serious research work and ranked 6 th in a national science competition, with future goals of being a neuroscientist or physician

2) Balanced by strong academic performance in all subjects (4.0 GPA and perfect test scores, in both humanities and science) and proficiency in violin

3) An irreverent personality who doesn't take life too seriously, embraces controversy, and says what's on his mind

These three elements were the core to my application. Together they tell a relatively unique Personal Narrative that distinguishes me from many other strong applicants. You get a surprisingly clear picture of what I'm about. There's no question that my work in science was my "Spike" and was the strongest piece of my application, but my Personal Narrative included other supporting elements, especially a description of my personality.

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My College Application, at a High Level

Drilling down into more details, here's an overview of my application.

  • This put me comfortably in the 99 th percentile in the country, but it was NOT sufficient to get me into Harvard by itself ! Because there are roughly 4 million high school students per year, the top 1 percentile still has 40,000 students. You need other ways to set yourself apart.
  • Your Spike will most often come from your extracurriculars and academic honors, just because it's hard to really set yourself apart with your coursework and test scores.
  • My letters of recommendation were very strong. Both my recommending teachers marked me as "one of the best they'd ever taught." Importantly, they corroborated my Personal Narrative, especially regarding my personality. You'll see how below.
  • My personal statements were, in retrospect, just satisfactory. They represented my humorous and irreverent side well, but they come across as too self-satisfied. Because of my Spike, I don't think my essays were as important to my application.

Finally, let's get started by digging into the very first pages of my Common Application.

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There are a few notable points about how simple questions can actually help build a first impression around what your Personal Narrative is.

First, notice the circle around my email address. This is the first of many marks the admissions officer made on my application. The reason I think he circled this was that the email address I used is a joke pun on my name . I knew it was risky to use this vs something like [email protected], but I thought it showed my personality better (remember point #3 about having an irreverent personality in my Personal Narrative).

Don't be afraid to show who you really are, rather than your perception of what they want. What you think UChicago or Stanford wants is probably VERY wrong, because of how little information you have, both as an 18-year-old and as someone who hasn't read thousands of applications.

(It's also entirely possible that it's a formality to circle email addresses, so I don't want to read too much into it, but I think I'm right.)

Second, I knew in high school that I wanted to go into the medical sciences, either as a physician or as a scientist. I was also really into studying the brain. So I listed both in my Common App to build onto my Personal Narrative.

In the long run, both predictions turned out to be wrong. After college, I did go to Harvard Medical School for the MD/PhD program for 4 years, but I left to pursue entrepreneurship and co-founded PrepScholar . Moreover, in the time I did actually do research, I switched interests from neuroscience to bioengineering/biotech.

Colleges don't expect you to stick to career goals you stated at the age of 18. Figuring out what you want to do is the point of college! But this doesn't give you an excuse to avoid showing a preference. This early question is still a chance to build that Personal Narrative.

Thus, I recommend AGAINST "Undecided" as an area of study —it suggests a lack of flavor and is hard to build a compelling story around. From your high school work thus far, you should at least be leaning to something, even if that's likely to change in the future.

Finally, in the demographic section there is a big red A, possibly for Asian American. I'm not going to read too much into this. If you're a notable minority, this is where you'd indicate it.

Now known as: Education

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This section was straightforward for me. I didn't take college courses, and I took a summer chemistry class at a nearby high school because I didn't get into the lottery at my school that year (I refer to this briefly in my 4.0 GPA guide ).

The most notable point of this section: the admissions officer circled Principal here . This is notable because our school Principal only wrote letters for fewer than 10 students each year. Counselors wrote letters for the other hundreds of students in my class, which made my application stand out just a little.

I'll talk more about this below, when I share the Principal's recommendation.

(In the current Common Application, the Education section also includes Grades, Courses, and Honors. We'll be covering each of those below).

Now known as: Testing

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Back then AP scores weren't part of this section, but I'll take them from another part of my application here.

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However, their standards are still very high. You really do want to be in that top 1 percentile to pass the filter. A 1400 on the SAT IS going to put you at a disadvantage because there are so many students scoring higher than you. You'll really have to dig yourself out of the hole with an amazing application.

I talk about this a lot more in my Get into Harvard guide (sorry to keep linking this, but I really do think it's an important guide for you to read).

Want to improve your SAT score by 160 points or your ACT score by 4 points?   We've written a guide for each test about the top 5 strategies you must be using to have a shot at improving your score. Download them for free now:

Let's end this section with some personal notes.

Even though math and science were easy for me, I had to put in serious effort to get an 800 on the Reading section of the SAT . As much as I wish I could say it was trivial for me, it wasn't. I learned a bunch of strategies and dissected the test to get to a point where I understood the test super well and reliably earned perfect scores.

I cover the most important points in my How to Get a Perfect SAT Score guide , as well as my 800 Guides for Reading , Writing , and Math .

Between the SAT and ACT, the SAT was my primary focus, but I decided to take the ACT for fun. The tests were so similar that I scored a 36 Composite without much studying. Having two test scores is completely unnecessary —you get pretty much zero additional credit. Again, with one test score, you have already passed their filter.

Finally, class finals or state-required exams are a breeze if you get a 5 on the corresponding AP tests .

Now known as: Family (still)

This section asks for your parent information and family situation. There's not much you can do here besides report the facts.

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I'm redacting a lot of stuff again for privacy reasons.

The reader made a number of marks here for occupation and education. There's likely a standard code for different types of occupations and schools.

If I were to guess, I'd say that the numbers add to form some metric of "family prestige." My dad got a Master's at a middle-tier American school, but my mom didn't go to graduate school, and these sections were marked 2 and 3, respectively. So it seems higher numbers are given for less prestigious educations by your parents. I'd expect that if both my parents went to schools like Caltech and Dartmouth, there would be even lower numbers here.

This makes me think that the less prepared your family is, the more points you get, and this might give your application an extra boost. If you were the first one in your family to go to college, for example, you'd be excused for having lower test scores and fewer AP classes. Schools really do care about your background and how you performed relative to expectations.

In the end, schools like Harvard say pretty adamantly they don't use formulas to determine admissions decisions, so I wouldn't read too much into this. But this can be shorthand to help orient an applicant's family background.

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Extracurricular, Personal, and Volunteer Activities

Now known as: Activities

For most applicants, your Extracurriculars and your Academic Honors will be where you develop your Spike and where your Personal Narrative shines through. This was how my application worked.

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Just below I'll describe the activities in more detail, but first I want to reflect on this list.

As instructed, my extracurriculars were listed in the order of their interest to me. The current Common App doesn't seem to ask for this, but I would still recommend it to focus your reader's attention.

The most important point I have to make about my extracurriculars: as you go down the list, there is a HUGE drop in the importance of each additional activity to the overall application. If I were to guess, I assign the following weights to how much each activity contributed to the strength of my activities section:

In other words, participating in the Research Science Institute (RSI) was far more important than all of my other extracurriculars, combined. You can see that this was the only activity my admissions reader circled.

You can see how Spike-y this is. The RSI just completely dominates all my other activities.

The reason for this is the prestige of RSI. As I noted earlier, RSI was (and likely still is) the most prestigious research program for high school students in the country, with an admission rate of less than 5% . Because the program was so prestigious and selective, getting in served as a big confirmation signal of my academic quality.

In other words, the Harvard admissions reader would likely think, "OK, if this very selective program has already validated Allen as a top student, I'm inclined to believe that Allen is a top student and should pay special attention to him."

Now, it took a lot of prior work to even get into RSI because it's so selective. I had already ranked nationally in the Chemistry Olympiad (more below), and I had done a lot of prior research work in computer science (at Jisan Research Institute—more about this later). But getting into RSI really propelled my application to another level.

Because RSI was so important and was such a big Spike, all my other extracurriculars paled in importance. The admissions officer at Princeton or MIT probably didn't care at all that I volunteered at a hospital or founded a high school club .

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This is a good sign of developing a strong Spike. You want to do something so important that everything else you do pales in comparison to it. A strong Spike becomes impossible to ignore.

In contrast, if you're well-rounded, all your activities hold equal weight—which likely means none of them are really that impressive (unless you're a combination of Olympic athlete, internationally-ranked science researcher, and New York Times bestselling author, but then I'd call you unicorn because you don't exist).

Apply this concept to your own interests—what can be so impressive and such a big Spike that it completely overshadows all your other achievements?

This might be worth spending a disproportionate amount of time on. As I recommend in my Harvard guide and 4.0 GPA guide , smartly allocating your time is critical to your high school strategy.

In retrospect, one "mistake" I made was spending a lot of time on the violin. Each week I spent eight hours on practice and a lesson and four hours of orchestra rehearsals. This amounted to over 1,500 hours from freshman to junior year.

The result? I was pretty good, but definitely nowhere near world-class. Remember, there are thousands of orchestras and bands in the country, each with their own concertmasters, drum majors, and section 1 st chairs.

If I were to optimize purely for college applications, I should have spent that time on pushing my spike even further —working on more Olympiad competitions, or doing even more hardcore research.

Looking back I don't mind this much because I generally enjoyed my musical training and had a mostly fun time in orchestra (and I had a strong Spike anyway). But this problem can be a lot worse for well-rounded students who are stretched too thin.

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Aside from these considerations about a Spike, I have two major caveats.

First, developing a Spike requires continuous, increasingly ambitious foundational work. It's like climbing a staircase. From the beginning of high school, each step was more and more ambitious—my first academic team, my first research experience, leading up to state and national competitions and more serious research work.

So when I suggest devoting a lot of time to developing your Spike, it's not necessarily the Spike in itself—it's also spending time on foundational work leading up to what will be your major achievement. That's why I don't see my time with academic teams or volunteering as wasted, even though in the end they didn't contribute as much to my application.

Second, it is important to do things you enjoy. I still enjoyed playing the violin and being part of an orchestra, and I really enjoyed my school's academic teams, even though we never went beyond state level. Even if some activities don't contribute as much to your application, it's still fine to spend some time on them—just don't delude yourself into thinking they're stronger than they really are and overspend time on them.

Finally, note that most of my activities were pursued over multiple years. This is a good sign of commitment—rather than hopping from activity year to year, it's better to show sustained commitment, as this is a better signal of genuine passion.

In a future article, I'll break down these activities in more detail. But this guide is already super long, so I want to focus our attention on the main points.

Short Answer: Extracurricular Activities

In today's Common Application, you have 50 characters to describe "Position/Leadership description and organization name" and 150 characters for "Please describe this activity, including what you accomplished and any recognition you received, etc."

Back then, we didn't have as much space per activity, and instead had a short answer question.

The Short Answer prompt:

Please describe which of your activities (extracurricular and personal activities or work experience) has been most meaningful and why.

I chose RSI as my most significant activity for two reasons—one based on the meaning of the work, and another on the social aspect.

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It's obvious that schools like Yale and UChicago want the best students in the world that they can get their hands on. Academic honors and awards are a great, quantifiable way to show that.

Here's the complete list of Academic Honors I submitted. The Common Application now limits you to five honors only (probably because they got tired of lists like these), but chances are you capture the top 98% of your honors with the top five.

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Charlie wins a Golden Ticket to Harvard.

I know this is intimidating if you don't already have a prestigious honor. But remember there are thousands of nationally-ranked people in a multitude of honor types, from science competitions to essay contests to athletics to weird talents.

And I strongly believe the #1 differentiator of high school students who achieve things is work ethic, NOT intelligence or talent. Yes, you need a baseline level of competence to get places, but people far undervalue the progress they can make if they work hard and persevere. Far too many people give up too quickly or fatigue without putting in serious effort.

If you're stuck thinking, "well I'm just an average person, and there's no way I'm going to become world-class in anything," then you've already lost before you've begun. The truth is everyone who achieves something of note puts in an incredible amount of hard work. Because this is invisible to you, it looks like talent is what distinguishes the two of you, when really it's much more often diligence.

I talk a lot more about the Growth Mindset in my How To Get a 4.0 GPA guide .

So my Chemistry Olympiad honor formed 90% of the value of this page. Just like extracurriculars, there's a quick dropoff in value of each item after that.

My research work took up the next two honors, one a presentation at an academic conference, and the other (Siemens) a research competition for high school researchers.

The rest of my honors were pretty middling:

  • National Merit Scholarship semifinalist pretty much equates to PSAT score, which is far less important than your SAT/ACT score. So I didn't really get any credit for this, and you won't either.
  • In Science Olympiad (this is a team-based competition that's not as prestigious as the academic Olympiads I just talked about), I earned a number of 1 st place state and regional medals, but we never made it to nationals.
  • I was mediocre at competition math because I didn't train for it, and I won some regional awards but nothing amazing. This is one place I would have spent more time, maybe in the time I'd save by not practicing violin as much. There are great resources for this type of training, like Art of Problem Solving , that I didn't know existed and could've helped me rank much higher.

At the risk of beating a dead horse, think about how many state medalists there are in the country, in the hundreds of competitions that exist . The number of state to national rankers is probably at least 20:1 (less than 50:1 because of variation in state size), so if there are 2,000 nationally ranked students, there are 40,000 state-ranked students in something !

So state honors really don't help you stand out on your Princeton application. There are just too many of them around.

On the other hand, if you can get to be nationally ranked in something, you will have an amazing Spike that distinguishes you.

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Now known as: Personal Essay

Now, the dreaded personal statement. Boy, oh boy, did I fuss over this one.

"What is the perfect combination of personal, funny, heartrending, and inspirational?"

I know I was wondering this when I applied.

Having read books like 50 Successful Harvard Application Essays , I was frightened. I didn't grow up as a refugee, wrenched from my war-torn home! I didn't have a sibling with a debilitating illness! How could anything I write compare to these tales of personal strength?

The trite truth is that colleges want to know who you really are . Clearly they don't expect everyone to have had immense personal struggle. But they do want students who are:

  • growth-oriented
  • introspective
  • kind and good-hearted

Whatever those words mean to you in the context of your life is what you should write about.

In retrospect, in the context of MY application, the personal statement really wasn't what got me into Harvard . I do think my Spike was nearly sufficient to get me admitted to every school in the country.

I say "nearly" because, even if you're world-class, schools do want to know you're not a jerk and that you're an interesting person (which is conveyed through your personal essay and letters of recommendation).

Back then, we had a set of different prompts :

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What did you think?

I'm still cringing a bit. Parts of this are very smug (see /r/iamverysmart ), and if you want to punch the writer in the face, I don't blame you. I want to as well.

We'll get to areas of improvement later, but first, let's talk about what this personal essay did well.

As I said above, I saw the theme of the snooze button as a VEHICLE to showcase a few qualities I cared about :

1) I fancied myself a Renaissance man (obnoxious, I know) and wanted to become an inventor and creator . I showed this through mentioning different interests (Rubik's cube, chemistry, Nietzsche) and iterating through a few designs for an alarm clock (electric shocks, explosions, Shakespearean sonnet recitation).

2) My personality was whimsical and irreverent. I don't take life too seriously. The theme of the essay—battling an alarm clock—shows this well, in comparison to the gravitas of the typical student essay. I also found individual lines funny, like "All right, so I had violated the divine honor of the family and the tenets of Confucius." At once I acknowledge my Chinese heritage but also make light of the situation.

3) I was open to admitting weaknesses , which I think is refreshing among people taking college applications too seriously and trying too hard to impress. The frank admission of a realistic lazy habit—pushing the Snooze button—served as a nice foil to my academic honors and shows that I can be down-to-earth.

So you see how the snooze button acts as a vehicle to carry these major points and a lot of details, tied together to the same theme .

In the same way, The Walking Dead is NOT a zombie show—the zombie environment is a VEHICLE by which to show human drama and conflict. Packaging my points together under the snooze button theme makes it a lot more interesting than just outright saying "I'm such an interesting guy."

So overall, I believe the essay accomplishes my goals and the main points of what I wanted to convey about myself.

Note that this is just one of many ways to write an essay . It worked for me, but it may be totally inappropriate for you.

Now let's look at this essay's weaknesses.

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Looking at it with a more seasoned perspective, some parts of it are WAY too try-hard. I try too hard to show off my breadth of knowledge in a way that seems artificial and embellishing.

The entire introduction with the Rubik's cube seems bolted on, just to describe my long-standing desire to be a Renaissance man. Only three paragraphs down do I get to the Snooze button, and I don't refer again to the introduction until the end. With just 650 words, I could have made the essay more cohesive by keeping the same theme from beginning to end.

Some phrases really make me roll my eyes. "Always hungry for more" and "ever the inventor" sound too forced and embellishing. A key principle of effective writing is to show, not say . You don't say "I'm passionate about X," you describe what extraordinary lengths you took to achieve X.

The mention of Nietzsche is over-the-top. I mean, come on. The reader probably thought, "OK, this kid just read it in English class and now he thinks he's a philosopher." The reader would be right.

The ending: "with the extra nine minutes, maybe I'll teach myself to cook fried rice" is silly. Where in the world did fried rice come from? I meant it as a nod to my Chinese heritage, but it's too sudden to work. I could have deleted the sentence and wrapped up the essay more cleanly.

So I have mixed feelings of my essay. I think it accomplished my major goals and showed the humorous, irreverent side of my personality well. However, it also gave the impression of a kid who thought he knew more than he did, a pseudo-sophisticate bordering on obnoxious. I still think it was a net positive.

At the end of the day, I believe the safest, surefire strategy is to develop a Spike so big that the importance of the Personal Essay pales in comparison to your achievements. You want your Personal Essay to be a supplement to your application, not the only reason you get in.

There are probably some cases where a well-rounded student writes an amazing Personal Essay and gets in through the strength of that. As a Hail Mary if you're a senior and can't improve your application further, this might work. But the results are very variable—some readers may love your essay, others may just think it's OK. Without a strong application to back it up, your mileage may vary.

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This is a really fun section. Usually you don't get to read your letter of recommendation because you sign the FERPA waiver. I've also reached out to my letter writers to make sure they're ok with my showing this.

Teacher recommendations are incredibly important to your application. I would say that after your coursework/test scores and activities/honors, they're the 3 rd most important component of your application .

The average teacher sees thousands of students through a career, and so he or she is very well equipped to position you relative to all other students. Furthermore, your teachers are experienced adults—their impressions of you are much more reliable than your impressions of yourself (see my Personal Essay above). They can corroborate your entire Personal Narrative as an outside observer.

The most effective recommendation letters speak both to your academic strengths and to your personality. For the second factor, the teacher needs to have interacted with you meaningfully, ideally both in and out of class. Check out our guide on what makes for effective letters of recommendation .

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Starting from sophomore year, I started thinking about whom I connected better with and chose to engage with those teachers more deeply . Because it's standard for colleges to require two teachers in different subjects, I made sure to engage with English and history teachers as well as math and science.

The minimum requirement for a good letter is someone who taught a class in which you did well. I got straight A's in my coursework, so this wasn't an issue.

Beyond this, I had to look for teachers who would be strong advocates for me on both an academic and personal level . These tended to be teachers I vibed more strongly with, and typically these were teachers who demonstrably cared about teaching. This was made clear by their enthusiasm, how they treated students, and how much they went above expectations to help.

I had a lot of teachers who really just phoned it in and treated their job perfunctorily—these people are likely to write pretty blasé letters.

A final note before reading my actual teacher evaluations— you should avoid getting in the mindset where you get to know teachers JUST because you want a good recommendation letter . Your teachers have seen hundreds, if not thousands, of students pass through, and it's much easier to detect insincerity than you think.

If you honestly like learning and are an enthusiastic, responsible, engaging student, a great recommendation letter will follow naturally. The horse should lead the cart.

Read my How to Get a 4.0 GPA for tips on how to interact with teachers in a genuine way that'll make them love you.

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Teacher Letter #1: AP Chemistry Teacher

I took AP Chemistry in 10 th grade and had Miss Cherryl Vorak (now Mynster). She was young, having taught for fewer than 5 years when I had her. She was my favorite teacher throughout high school for these reasons:

  • She was enthusiastic, very caring, and spent a lot of time helping struggling students. She exuded pride in her work and seemed to consider teaching her craft.
  • She had a kind personality and was universally well liked by her students, even if they weren't doing so well. She was fair in her policies (it probably helped that science is more objective than English). She was also a younger teacher, and this helped her relate to kids more closely.
  • She was my advocate for much of the US National Chemistry Olympiad stuff, and in this capacity I got to know her even better outside of class. She provided me a lot of training materials, helped me figure out college chemistry, and directed me to resources to learn more.

By the time of the letter writing, I had known her for two full years and engaged with her continuously, even when I wasn't taking a class with her in junior year. We'd build up a strong relationship over the course of many small interactions.

All of this flowed down to the recommendation you see here. Remember, the horse leads the cart.

First, we'll look at the teacher evaluation page. The Common Application now has 16 qualities to rate, rather than the 10 here. But they're largely the same.

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You can see a very strong evaluation here, giving me the highest ratings possible for all qualities.

In today's Common Application, all of these Ratings are retained, aside from "Potential for Growth." Today's Common App also now includes Faculty Respect, Maturity, Leadership, Integrity, Reaction to Setbacks, Concern for Others, and TE Overall. You can tell that the updated Common App places a great emphasis on personality.

The most important point here: it is important to be ranked "One of the top few encountered in my career" for as many ratings as possible . If you're part of a big school, this is CRITICAL to distinguish yourself from other students. The more experienced and trustworthy the teacher, the more meaningful this is.

Again, it's a numbers game. Think about the 20,000+ high schools in the country housing 4 million+ high school students—how many people fit in the top 5% bucket?

Thus, being marked merely as Excellent (top 10%) is actually a negative rating , as far as admissions to top colleges is concerned. If you're in top 10%, and someone else with the SAME teacher recommender is being rated as "One of the top ever," it's really hard for the admissions officer to vouch for you over the other student.

You really want to make sure you're one of the best in your school class, if not one of the best the teacher has ever encountered. You'll see below how you can accomplish this.

Next, let's look at her letter.

As you read this, think— what are the interactions that would prompt the teacher to write a recommendation like this? This was a relationship built up in a period of over 2 years, with every small interaction adding to an overall larger impression.

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You can see how seriously they take the letter because of all the underlining . This admissions reader underlined things that weren't even underlined in my application, like my US National Chemistry Olympiad awards. It's one thing for a student to claim things about himself—it's another to have a teacher put her reputation on the line to advocate for her student.

The letter here is very strong for a multitude of reasons. First, the length is notable —most letters are just a page long, but this is nearly two full pages , single spaced. This indicates not just her overall commitment to her students but also of her enthusiastic support for me as an applicant.

The structure is effective: first Miss Vorak talks about my academic accomplishments, then about my personal qualities and interactions, then a summary to the future. This is a perfect blend of what effective letters contain .

On the micro-level, her diction and phrasing are precise and effective . She makes my standing clear with specific statements : "youngest student…top excelling student among the two sections" and "one of twenty students in the nation." She's clear about describing why my achievements are notable and the effort I put in, like studying college-level chemistry and studying independently.

When describing my personality, she's exuberant and fleshes out a range of dimensions: "conscientious, motivated and responsible," "exhibits the qualities of a leader," "actively seeks new experiences," "charismatic," "balanced individual with a warm personality and sense of humor." You can see how she's really checking off all the qualities colleges care about.

Overall, Miss Vorak's letter perfectly supports my Personal Narrative —my love for science, my overall academic performance, and my personality. I'm flattered and grateful to have received this support. This letter was important to complement the overall academic performance and achievements shown on the rest of my application.

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Teacher Letter #2: AP English Language Teacher

My second teacher Mrs. Swift was another favorite. A middle-aged, veteran English teacher, the best way I would describe her is "fiery." She was invigorating and passionate, always trying to get a rise out of students and push their thinking, especially in class discussions. Emotionally she was a reliable source of support for students.

First, the evaluation:

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You can see right away that her remarks are terser. She didn't even fill out the section about "first words that come to mind to describe this student."

You might chalk this up to my not being as standout of a student in her mind, or her getting inundated with recommendation letter requests after over a decade of teaching.

In ratings, you can see that I only earned 3 of the "one of the top in my career." There are a few explanations for this. As a teacher's career lengthens, it gets increasingly hard to earn this mark. I probably also didn't stand out as much as I did to my Chemistry teacher—most of my achievement was in science (which she wasn't closely connected to), and I had talented classmates. Regardless, I did appreciate the 3 marks she gave me.

Now, the letter. Once again, as you read this letter, think: what are the hundreds of micro-interactions that would have made a teacher write a letter like this?

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Overall, this letter is very strong. It's only one page long, but her points about my personality are the critical piece of this recommendation. She also writes with the flair of an English teacher:

"In other situations where students would never speak their minds, he showed no hesitation to voice questions, thoughts, and ideas."

"controversial positions often being the spark that set off the entire class"

"ability to take the quiet and shy student and actively engage"…"went out of my way to partner him with other students who needed"

"strength of conviction"…"raw, unbridled passion"…"He will argue on any topic that has touched a nerve."

These comments most support the personality aspect of my Personal Narrative—having an irreverent, bold personality and not being afraid of speaking my mind. She stops just short of making me sound obnoxious and argumentative. An experienced teacher vouching for this adds so much more weight than just my writing it about myself.

Teacher recommendations are some of the most important components of your application. Getting very strong letters take a lot of sustained, genuine interaction over time to build mutual trust and respect. If you want detailed advice on how to interact with teachers earnestly, check out my How to Get a 4.0 GPA and Better Grades guide .

Let's go to the final recommendation, from the school counselor.

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Now known as: School Report

The first piece of this is reporting your academic status and how the school works overall. There's not much to say here, other than the fact that my Principal wrote my recommendation for me, which we'll get into next.

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Counselor Recommendation

Now known as: Counselor Recommendation

Let's talk about my school principal writing my recommendation, rather than a school counselor.

This was definitely advantageous—remember how, way up top in Educational Data, the reader circled the "Principal." Our Principal only wrote a handful of these recommendations each year , often for people who worked closely with him, like student body presidents. So it was pretty distinctive that I got a letter from our Principal, compared to other leading applicants from my school.

This was also a blessing because our counseling department was terrible . Our school had nearly 1,000 students per grade, and only 1 counselor per grade. They were overworked and ornery, and because they were the gatekeepers of academic enrollment (like class selection and prerequisites), this led to constant frictions in getting the classes you wanted.

I can empathize with them, because having 500+ neurotic parents pushing for advantages for their own kids can get REALLY annoying really fast. But the counseling department was still the worst part of our high school administration, and I could have guessed that the letters they wrote were mediocre because they just had too many students.

So how did my Principal come to write my recommendation and not those for hundreds of other students?

I don't remember exactly how this came to be, to be honest. I didn't strategize to have him write a letter for me years in advance. I didn't even interact with him much at all until junior year, when I got on his radar because of my national rankings. Come senior year I might have talked to him about my difficulty in reaching counselors and asked that he write my recommendation. Since I was a top student he was probably happy to do this.

He was very supportive, but as you can tell from the letter to come, it was clear he didn't know me that well.

Interestingly, the prompt for the recommendation has changed. It used to start with: "Please write whatever you think is important about this student."

Now, it starts with: " Please provide comments that will help us differentiate this student from others ."

The purpose of the recommendation has shifted to the specific: colleges probably found that one counselor was serving hundreds of students, so the letters started getting mushy and indistinguishable from each other.

Here's the letter:

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This letter is probably the weakest overall of all my letters. It reads more like a verbal resume than a personal account of how he understands me.

Unlike my two teacher recommendations, he doesn't comment on the nature of our interactions or about my personality (because he truly didn't understand them well). He also misreported by SAT score as 1530 instead of 1600 (I did score a 1530 in an early test, but my 1600 was ready by January 2004, so I don't know what source he was using).

Notably, the letter writer didn't underline anything.

I still appreciate that he wrote my letter, and it was probably more effective than a generic counselor letter. But this didn't add much to my application.

At this point, we've covered my entire Common Application. This is the same application I sent to every school I applied to, including Harvard, Princeton, and Stanford. Thanks for reading this far—I hope you've gotten a lot out of this already.

If you keep reading to the end, I'll have advice for both younger students and current applicants to build the strongest application possible.

Next, we'll go over the Harvard Supplemental Application, which of course is unique to Harvard.

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For most top colleges like Princeton, Yale, Stanford, Columbia, and so on, you will need to complete a supplemental application to provide more info than what's listed on the Common Application.

Harvard was and is the same. The good news is that it's an extra chance for you to share more about yourself and keep pushing your Personal Narrative.

There are four major components here:

  • The application form
  • Writing supplement essay
  • Supplementary recommendations
  • Supplemental application materials

I'll take you through the application section by section.

Harvard Supplement Form

First, the straightforward info and questions.

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This section is pretty straightforward and is similar to what you'd see on a Columbia application.

I planned to live in a Harvard residence, as most students do.

Just as in my Common App, I noted that I was most likely to study biological sciences, choose Medicine as my vocation, and participate in orchestra, writing, and research as my extracurriculars. Nothing surprising here—it's all part of my Personal Narrative.

Interestingly, at the time I was "absolutely certain" about my vocational goals, which clearly took a detour once I left medical school to pursue entrepreneurship to create PrepScholar...

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I had the space to list some additional honors, where I listed some musical honors that didn't make the cut in my Common App.

Here are the next two pages of the Harvard supplemental form.

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The most interesting note here is that the admissions officer wrote a question mark above "Music tape or CD." Clearly this was inconsistent with my Personal Narrative —if violin was such an important part of my story, why didn't I want to include it?

The reason was that I was actually pretty mediocre at violin and was nowhere near national-ranked. Again, remember how many concertmasters in the thousands of orchestras there are in the world—I wasn't good enough to even be in the top 3 chairs in my school orchestra (violin was very competitive).

I wanted to focus attention on my most important materials, which for my Personal Narrative meant my research work. You'll see these supplementary materials later.

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Additional Essays

Now known as: Writing Supplement

For the most part, the Harvard supplemental essay prompt has stayed the same. You can write about a topic of your choice or about any of the suggestions. There are now two more prompts that weren't previously there: "What you would want your future college roommate to know about you" and "How you hope to use your college education."

Even though this is optional, I highly recommend you write something here. Again, you have so few chances in the overall application to convey your personal voice—an extra 500 words gives you a huge opportunity. I would guess that the majority of admitted Harvard students submit a Writing Supplement.

After a lot of brainstorming, I settled on the idea that I wanted to balance my application by writing about the major non-academic piece of my Personal Narrative—my music training . Also, I don't think I explicitly recognized this at the time, but I wanted to distance myself from the Asian-American stereotype—driven entirely by parent pressure, doing most things perfunctorily and without interest. I wanted to show I'd broken out of that mold.

Here's my essay:

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Reading it now, I actually think this was a pretty bad essay, and I cringe to high heaven. But once again, let's focus on the positive first.

I used my violin teacher as a vehicle for talking about what the violin meant to me. (You can tell I love the concept of the vehicle in essays.) He represented passion for the violin—I represented my academic priorities. Our personal conflict was really the conflict between what we represented.

By the end of the essay, I'd articulated the value of musical training to me—it was cathartic and a way to balance my hard academic pursuits.

Halfway in the essay, I also explicitly acknowledged the Asian stereotype of parents who drove their kids, and said my parents were no different. The reader underlined this sentence. By pointing this out and showing how my interest took on a life of its own, I wanted to distance myself from that stereotype.

So overall I think my aims were accomplished.

Despite all that, this essay was WAY overdramatic and overwrought . Some especially terrible lines:

"I was playing for that cathartic moment when I could feel Tchaikovsky himself looking over my shoulder."

"I was wandering through the fog in search of a lighthouse, finally setting foot on a dock pervaded by white light."

OK, please. Who really honestly feels this way? This is clumsy, contrived writing. It signals insincerity, actually, which is bad.

To be fair, all of this is grounded in truth. I did have a strict violin teacher who did get pretty upset when I showed lack of improvement. I did appreciate music as a diversion to round out my academic focus. I did practice hard each day, and I did have a pretty gross callus on my pinky.

But I would have done far better by making it more sincere and less overworked.

As an applicant, you're tempted to try so hard to impress your reader. You want to show that you're Worthy of Consideration. But really the best approach is to be honest.

I think this essay was probably neutral to my application, not a strong net positive or net negative.

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Supplementary Recommendations

Harvard lets you submit letters from up to two Other Recommenders. The Princeton application, Penn application, and others are usually the same.

Unlike the other optional components (the Additional Information in the Common App, and the Supplementary Essay), I would actually consider these letters optional. The reader gets most of the recommendation value from your teacher recommendations—these are really supplementary.

A worthwhile Other Recommender:

  • has supervised an activity or honor that is noteworthy
  • has interacted with you extensively and can speak to your personality
  • is likely to support you as one of the best students they've interacted with

If your Other Recommenders don't fulfill one or more of these categories, do NOT ask for supplementary letters. They'll dilute your application without adding substantively to it.

To beat a dead horse, the primary component of my Personal Narrative was my science and research work. So naturally I chose supervisors for my two major research experiences to write supplemental letters.

First was the Director of Research Science Institute (the selective summer research program at MIT). The second was from the head of Jisan Research Institute, where I did Computer Science research.

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This letter validates my participation in RSI and incorporates the feedback from my research mentor, David Simon. At the time, the RSI students were the most talented students I had met, so I'm also flattered by some of the things the letter writer said, like "Allen stood out early on as a strong performer in academic settings."

I didn't get to know the letter writer super well, so he commented mainly on my academic qualifications and comments from my mentor.

My mentor, who was at one of the major Harvard-affiliated hospitals, said some very nice things about my research ability, like:

"is performing in many ways at the level of a graduate student"

"impressed with Allen's ability to read even advanced scientific publications and synthesize his understanding"

Once again, it's much more convincing for a seasoned expert to vouch for your abilities than for you to claim your own abilities.

My first research experience was done at Jisan Research Institute, a small private computer science lab run by a Caltech PhD. The research staff were mainly high school students like me and a few grad students/postdocs.

My research supervisor, Sanza Kazadi, wrote the letter. He's requested that I not publish the letter, so I'll only speak about his main points.

In the letter, he focused on the quality of my work and leadership. He said that I had a strong focus in my work, and my research moved along more reliably than that of other students. I was independent in my work in swarm engineering, he says, putting together a simulation of the swarm and publishing a paper in conference proceedings. He talked about my work in leading a research group and placing a high degree of trust in me.

Overall, a strong recommendation, and you get the gist of his letter without reading it.

One notable point—both supplemental letters had no marks on them. I really think this means they place less emphasis on the supplementary recommendations, compared to the teacher recommendations.

Finally, finally, we get to the very last piece of my application.

Let me beat the dead horse even deader. Because research was such a core part of my Personal Narrative, I decided to include abstracts of both of my papers. The main point was to summarize the body of work I'd done and communicate the major results.

As Harvard says, "These materials are entirely optional; please only submit them if you have unusual talents."

This is why I chose not to submit a tape of my music: I don't think my musical skill was unusually good.

And frankly, I don't think my research work was that spectacular. Unlike some of my very accomplished classmates, I hadn't ranked nationally in prestigious competitions like ISEF and Siemens. I hadn't published my work in prominent journals.

Regardless, I thought these additions would be net positive, if only marginally so.

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I made sure to note where the papers had been published or were entering competitions, just to ground the work in some achievement.

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  • Recommendation Letters: Hopefully you should have developed strong, genuine relationships with teachers you care about. The letters should flow naturally from here, and you will only need to do gentle prodding to make sure they meet deadlines.
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    How to Write a Supplemental Essay for College Applications

    Discover tips for tackling writing supplements, and read a sample essay from a current student.

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    A supplemental essay gives you an opportunity to tell the admissions committee about something you weren't able to cover in your main essay.

    Prospective students are usually aware that they must write an essay as part of the college application process . But they may not know that some schools will ask for additional writing samples such as a supplemental essay.

    Avoid These College Application Mistakes

    Courtney Rubin and Cole Claybourn July 26, 2023

    computer science supplemental essay example

    These writing supplements are usually shorter than the main college essay , but they're no less important, experts say.

    "Every word counts in getting your story across," says Deborah Davis, president and founder of Davis Education & Career Consultants LLC, based in Ridgefield, Connecticut.

    Some colleges ask for just one supplemental essay while others may require several.

    For example, Wake Forest University in North Carolina had six additional questions for prospective students to respond to on its 2020 undergraduate admissions application. However, a couple of the questions asked applicants to write lists – for instance, a personal top 10 list – rather than a full paragraph or two.

    Supplemental essay prompts come in all shapes and sizes. In some cases, schools let applicants choose from several options. For instance, the University of North Carolina—Chapel Hill 's fall 2019-20 application included four prompts – such as "What do you hope will change about the place where you live?" – from which prospective students had to select two.

    Davis says two of the most common prompts she's seen are "What do you want to major in?" and "Tell us about a favorite activity."

    While word counts for supplemental essays vary, they tend to be limited.

    Wake Forest has a 150-word limit for each of its supplements, says Tamara Blocker, the university's senior associate dean of admissions. UNC caps applicants' short answer responses at 250 words each, according to the school's website.

    In contrast, The Common Application , a platform that allows students to apply to multiple colleges at once, has a suggested 650-word limit for the main essay and 250 words for others.

    These types of written responses are more like vignettes or snapshots, rather than full-blown essays, says Stephen Farmer, vice provost for enrollment and undergraduate admissions at UNC.

    "I think – I hope, anyway – that students feel the opportunity maybe in the shorter responses to worry less about form and just be a little more open with us," he says.

    To help prospective students familiarize themselves with supplemental essays, U.S. News obtained an example from Tufts University in Medford, Massachusetts. Ryan Sheehan from Wallingford, Pennsylvania, wrote the short piece and is a computer science major in the class of 2021.

    As part of his application, Sheehan responded to the following prompt: "There is a Quaker saying: 'Let your life speak.' Describe the environment in which you were raised – your family, home, neighborhood, or community – and how it influenced the person you are today."

    "As the son of two journalists, I have grown up under a lifelong inquisition: How is your room such a mess? Can you please stop chasing the cat? Will you come down from the tree already? Granted, those are all from this past year, but the point still stands. Like any good journalists, my parents have also always had a propensity for uncovering the truth. On the third night that I had my license, I decided to go to the library to study. Before 15 minutes had passed, I noticed the librarian peering at me through the shelves before quickly averting her eyes and whispering, "He's here," into her phone. Even so, regardless of how many spies they've hired over the years, I have always looked up to my parents immensely. However, I have found my inherited inquisitiveness to be a trait most useful in a place far from the realm of reporting: the robotics lab. After four years of spending almost more time in the lab than at home, I have learned that nothing is more important than asking the right questions. As a programmer, I need to be able to communicate with my builders. Come press time, if I don't interview them properly, our robot will invariably end up as a hunk of unresponsive aluminum. To make a machine, the team must work as one. So although I may be writing source code instead of a breaking story, I am glad I had such nosy parents after all."

    Karen Richardson, former dean of undergraduate admissions and enrollment management at Tufts who is now dean of admission at Princeton University in New Jersey, explained why she liked this response: "This is a great essay because, in just 250 words, it shows rather than tells the reader who Ryan is and the things that matter to him. It gives us a sense of his family life and academic interests, and it even shows us he has a sense of humor. As an admissions committee, we learned a lot about Ryan in just one paragraph."

    Here are five additional tips from admissions officers to help prospective college students craft strong supplemental essays.

    Answer the Question

    This may seem obvious, but applicants should carefully read a supplemental essay prompt and make sure they understand what it is asking before answering it, Richardson says.

    Prospective students may want to reuse an essay they wrote for another college, but that doesn't always work because supplemental questions tend to be more tailored to an individual institution, she says.

    Start With an Outline

    Applicants may have their own writing process, but Davis encourages those she works with to create outlines. She says prospective students should brainstorm the personal qualities, skills or experiences they would like to convey in their supplemental essays.

    Don't Repeat Yourself

    Supplemental essays are a chance for applicants to give more information to an admissions committee to further show why they are a good fit for a school, Davis says. So prospective students should make sure they aren't repeating something that's already been covered in their main essay.

    Narrow Your Focus

    Probably the biggest mistake applicants make in supplemental essays is choosing a topic that's too big, Farmer says. For example, he says prospective students may attempt to settle a complex political issue in just one paragraph.

    "I think it's better to do something small and do it well than to do something big and skate over the surface," he says.

    Maintain Your Voice

    It's a good idea for applicants to ask another person for editing help, but too much input can be detrimental to an essay, experts say. If lots of people – teachers, parents, peers – read and weigh in on an essay, they can weaken how clearly a student's voice comes through in the writing.

    "It's great to read something that sounds like it was written by an 18-year-old and not by a machine," Farmer says, "or by someone who's trying to be prematurely middle-aged."

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    The Admissions Strategist

    How to write the georgia tech supplemental essays 2021-2022 (with examples).

    Located in the heart of Atlanta, Georgia, Georgia Tech is a school well-known for its engineering and computer science programs.

    Its admissions rate has decreased over the years, hitting 21% in 2020 as it becomes more selective.

    As such, you need a great application to be considered for admission to Georgia Tech.

    While your academic success and extracurricular activities are all important aspects of the application process, Georgia Tech takes your essay responses seriously and treats them as “an important way to get to know you, and what you have to bring to Georgia Tech.”

    Luckily, you don’t need to be a future English major to create a personal, powerful essay.  

    Georgia Tech takes both the Common Application and the Coalition Application.

    • On top of the Common or Coalition App general essay , you are expected to write one short answer response.  

    In this article, we will guide you through Georgia Tech’s short answer question to give you an idea of how to approach it .

    Georgia Tech Supplemental Essays: How to Write Them!

    Click above to watch a video on Georgia Tech Supplemental Essays.

    General Guidelines: Georgia Tech Supplemental Essay

    The essay response is 300 words long, translating to about 2-3 paragraphs in length. However, you need to be economical with your words and make every single one count. That means there is no room for generalities.

    • You need to be specific and get straight to the point.
    • Every word should contribute to showing your personality, your motivations, your ambitions, or your successes. 

    You should also focus on topics that you haven’t covered elsewhere in your application.

    Georgia Tech wants the essay to bring out what they can’t already figure out from your transcripts and club participation.

    • Georgia Tech wants the essays to bring out what they can’t already figure out from your transcripts and club participation.

    Above all else, be authentic. Don’t write what you think the admissions officers want to read. Be honest in your interests and your accomplishments, and show Georgia Tech what you have to offer them.

    Georgia Tech Supplemental Essay – Why This Major at Georgia Tech?

    Why do you want to study your chosen major specifically at Georgia Tech? (Max. 300 words)”

    The wording of this question is a little tricky. At first, it seems like it’s asking why you’ve chosen your desired major. While this is a point you’ll want to make in your essay, you’ll want to keep it brief. The real answer Georgia Tech wants here is why you want to study your major at Georgia Tech.

    • It’s more of a “ Why This College ” essay than a “Why This Major” prompt.

    However, it’s not just about why you love Georgia Tech. They want to know specifically why you love Georgia Tech’s version of your major program.

    If you’re planning to major in Chemistry, did you choose Georgia Tech for their outstanding research opportunities?

    • If you’re going for engineering, is the school’s “best of the best” reputation your main selling point?

    Think about why your field of study will be special at Georgia Tech, and craft an essay from that.

    • Tip: It’s always a good idea to show Georgia Tech that what you’re doing now will carry over to your major program (if you can squeeze it into the 300 word limit).

    For example:

    • Share a sentence or two about your research project that won the state science fair last spring, and explain how you’re wanting to continue to challenge yourself through similar opportunities.
    • Write a little bit about the club you founded in your high school, and share that you want to take that same entrepreneurial spirit and begin your own business someday. Point out how Georgia Tech’s hands-on business program will prepare you for your goals.

    You can approach this question in a few different ways:

    The first way is to approach this from an academic perspective. Remember, they don’t want you to tell them they’re highly ranked in engineering and computer science – they already know that. They want you to be specific in your desire to earn a certain major from Georgia Tech.

    • What pieces of your major program are unique to Georgia Tech?
    • How will these qualities benefit you directly?

    Look at some of the research happening at Georgia Tech.

    For instance, Georgia Tech is currently researching ways to improve worldwide sanitation by reinventing something that is used by every person multiple times per day– the toilet. They are aiming to create a toilet that turns human waste into clean water, specifically for the parts of the world that do not have access to adequate amounts of clean water or sanitation,

    • If you’re interested in new technology and how it can make a lasting difference in humanitarian issues around the world, this type of research may be why you’re interested in attending Georgia Tech.

    Second, consider looking into faculty members and their research interests.

    If their research interests fall in line with what you plan to do, mention them in your essay. You may even want to reach out to the professor, forming a connection that could lead to future opportunities.

    • Doing so shows Georgia Tech that you have both initiative and interest in the research that is happening at Georgia Tech, and that you’re committed to learning from GT faculty.

    Third, study your major’s plan at Georgia Tech and how it compares to programs at other colleges and universities.

    • Are there any classes that are unique to Georgia Tech?
    • Will your program have internships or other hands-on experiences?

    Figure out what makes your specific program unique at Georgia Tech, and make a list of all the ways these differences will support you throughout your college journey and in your future career.

    • After you show why Georgia’s Tech has standout opportunities in your major , make sure to demonstrate your ambitions or post-undergraduate plans.

    It’s important to note that you don’t need to know exactly what you want to do with your life after college – you might not know quite yet, and that’s just fine. Even if you do have a solid plan, it’s possible it will change as time goes by.

    With that said, you should have a general idea of the field you want to enter.

    With that said, you should have a general idea of the field you want to enter and it should be closely related to the major you choose.

    • Overall, you must demonstrate that you know about Georgia Tech’s offerings (within your major) and have a vision for taking advantage of them.

    Colleges want students who will utilize as many campus resources as possible to build a personalized education, and to become successful professionals.

    Thus, be specific about Georgia Tech’s offerings that you want to become a part of.

    A few more tips:

    • If possible, try scheduling a campus tour and asking questions about the various aspects you’re interested in.
    • Look at Georgia Tech’s website and its various faculty directories for current research and campus events.
    • For even more inspiration, check college forums, such as College Confidential, to get perspective from current and former students.

    Once you’ve got all of your information and inspiration gathered, you’re ready to write.

    Why This Major at Georgia Tech Example Essay 1

    We’ve provided you GT essay examples throughout this guide. They will help you visualize your essay outline.

    Remember, never plagiarize. Colleges, naturally, frown upon this. You should always create your own work.

    After my three-hour commute to Rutgers University, my advisors and I would huddle over a whiteboard, brainstorming mathematical models of pricing strategies. I spent the remainder of the day poring over my laptop, coding and debugging Python programs, translating these models into computational simulations. At the end of my two-year research project, I will determine the optimal pricing strategies for wireless service providers and publish a paper in the Gaugers Conference. I intend to continue my passion for research by participating in ongoing projects at Georgia Tech’s Institute for Robotics and Intelligent Machines. My primary interest is advancing robotically assisted surgery technologies, giving patients access to the best medical minds. By working in the “Medical Robots and Human Augmentation” strategic research area and collaborating with professors like Dr. Jaydev Desai, I aim to provide struggling communities with the resources to utilize sophisticated robotics developments. I wish to further my passion for robotics by leading design teams on the Georgia Tech RoboJackets robotics team. Whether it’s coding an autonomous robot to play soccer or creating powerful mechanisms to break robots, I believe the RoboJackets have a niche for me. My desire to join Georgia Tech was reinforced after speaking with Tomas Osses about the endless possibilities on the RoboJackets. Diving deeper into robotics, I hope to enroll in the intelligence thread of the School of Computing to further my knowledge of autonomous machines and AI. I am eager to enhance my computer science skills as a Yellow Jacket.

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    Why this major at georgia tech example essay 2.

    I heard my name spoken into the microphone, and my teammates jumped from their seats. We had just taken first place in the New York State Science Fair with our Insulin Resistance research project. Our project had not only won, but it lead to wide open pathways that could someday make a difference in the treatment of Type 1 Diabetes. I want to attend Georgia Tech because I know that the Biomedical Engineering program will provide me with access to similar experiences. Professors like Dr. Hee Cheol Chol (with his scholar status in Pediatric Bioengineering) would give me the tools and knowledge necessary to make a true impact throughout my future career in the medical field. Georgia Tech will give me the specific courses, research opportunities, internships, and expert faculty members that I need to become one of the best in the field. With my passion for science and difference-making, I know that Georgia Tech is the only place that will allow me to reach my full potential.”

    Georgia Tech Supplemental Essay #2: From Previous Years

    In this section, we’ve added essays from previous years. This should give you context into the quality of essays Georgia Tech is looking for.

    Each prompt provides you with an opportunity to showcase an accomplishment or passion outside of an academic context. Because of this, it’s important that you choose the essay that shares your best qualities or achievements.

    For both of these essays, you should focus on what makes you a unique asset for the Georgia Tech community. It’s not so much about why you want Georgia Tech, but why Georgia Tech wants you .

    • Keep in mind that your accomplishments don’t have to be extraordinary. You don’t have to cure cancer or end world hunger to be considered.
    • Small differences you’ve made in a person’s life or steps you’re taking to change the world around you can create just as much of an impact.

    Georgia Tech Supplemental Prompt A

    Georgia Tech is committed to creating solutions to some of the world’s most pressing challenges. Tell us how you have improved or hope to improve the human condition in your community.

    This prompt asks what you have done (or what you want to do) to make a difference in your community.

    As shown in the question, you can take one of two paths when writing this essay:

    • Explain something you’ve already done to make a difference in the lives of the people around you. This can be a large or small task; maybe you’re bilingual and you started an after-school tutoring club to provide direct support to younger kids who are learning English for the first time. Maybe you’ve gotten a group of friends together to make meals for the homeless population in your town.
    • If you haven’t had the chance to make a difference directly (or if you’ve got a bursting idea that you dream of bringing to life), pour it out on the page. Write about a problem you’ve witnessed firsthand in your community, and how you want to solve it.

    Remember to reflect on the impact this action had (or will have) on the community you live in.

    Don’t write about improving life in another country if you don’t live there. This is about fixing the problems that occur on the same streets you grew up on.

    • Be sure to share a concrete plan if you’re writing a problem you hope to solve in the future. Be specific and really show how your skills can make a positive impact in your community.
    • Keep the description of the issue brief; Georgia Tech wants to know about how you can solve this more than they want to hear about the problem at hand.

    When showcasing the skills you used to make a difference, also share what the experience has taught you:

    • You learned how much back-end work goes into solving a humanitarian issue.
    • You gained leadership skills while providing guidance to a large group of students.
    • You found independence and realized your actions can lead to significant change with an intense focus and the correct use of your personal skill set.

    While there are a lot of different ways to take this essay, it may not be the ideal essay for every applicant. Make sure your action or plan shows off both your skill and desire to change the world around you.

    Georgia Tech Supplemental Prompt B

    “If you feel that your personal or community background can provide additional insight to your application that we have not already seen elsewhere, please take this opportunity to share that information with us.”

    This is a fairly vague prompt, but it provides you with an excellent opportunity.

    It eliminates the problem that arises when applications only show your academic successes, and lets you showcase anything you want the admission team to see.

    Maybe you have a health condition that has motivated you to succeed in academics, so you can someday work toward finding a cure. Maybe you’re a LEGO expert and want to turn your design skills into a future engineering career.

    • Take the first part of your essay to explain an important piece of who you are that is not shown on your application.
    • Make sure this characteristic or experience shows off why Georgia Tech is the perfect school for you (and why you’d be a perfect addition to the GT student body).

    Now, how can Georgia Tech benefit from the characteristic or experience that makes you stand out?

    • Does Georgia Tech offer study abroad programs in a third-world country you’ve always wanted to make a difference in?
    • Are they currently conducting a long term research study in an area that personally relates to your or someone close to you?
    • Is there a club or organization that you’d be a perfect fit for? Or one that would give you the tools you need to make an impact in the world around you?

    Be specific, and show Georgia Tech something unique about yourself. Show them why you need their school, and why they need you as a student.

    Make sure to look through Georgia Tech’s website to see if any of their core values, programs, or opportunities line up with a piece of your life that is not already shown on your application.

    Georgia Tech Personal Background Essay Example From Previous Year

    I moved to the United States when I was just six years old. I started first grade the following week, without knowing a word of English. I had an ESL teacher to meet with once a day and a computer program to teach me a whole new language. I couldn’t make new friends because I didn’t know how to speak to them. I couldn’t participate in class because I did not understand my teacher. Fast-forward to my Freshman year of High School. I’m now fluent in Spanish and English, and I wake up one morning with an idea that I absolutely need to bring to life. I’ll start a club for students in my local elementary school who are learning English as a second language. Fast-forward to today. For the past three years, my club has met three times per week during lunch and recess. My students have had a safe space to share their challenges (with translator apps, so they do not need to feel alone like I did). They have learned English quickly, they have made friends with each other, and they have triple the amount of English language learning time as was previously available. I know my club has made a difference in their lives, and also in my own. I’ve gained independence and leadership skills, and I now know that I am capable of making a significant impact in the world around me.

    Georgia Tech Supplemental Essay Example From Previous Year

    It’s 5:50 a.m. on a Wednesday as I wake up to the shocking blast of the Mission Impossible theme song. It feels like I was up only a few hours ago, slogging through the assignments and projects that are due soon. I hop on the hour-long bus ride and try to get sleep to refresh myself for school. At school, I participate in classes, group projects, and labs, all of which have developed my critical thinking, communication, and collaborative skills. On the ride back home, I socialize with friends about the latest sports news and listen to music. After I arrive home, I play piano and get some physical activity to calm my nerves and collect myself. After an hour of playing piano and exercising, it is off to volunteering at the the Iverness Hospital and then Iverness Orchards. Volunteering has taught me that not everything is about my life. I want to help those who cannot help themselves. After returning home and eating dinner, I clean the dishes and kitchen to alleviate my parents’ stress. Now comes the storm. I embark to complete math, physics, and biology projects and read up on literature and history. It’s 11:00 p.m., and while my parents and sister have gone to sleep, I still have so much to do. After working until 1:15 a.m., I finish my assignments and hit my bed. Today was a short Groundhog Day.

    Conclusion: Georgia Tech Supplemental Essay

    Georgia Tech’s supplemental essay allows you to demonstrate why Georgia Tech is the perfect school for you and why you’re a student that Georgia Tech needs.

    Remember, this short answer essay gives you a chance to communicate with Georgia Tech’s admissions officers in a way that your test scores and transcripts can’t. Use this opportunity to your advantage.

    Overall, you will write one, 300-word maximum, supplemental essay to show your interest in a specific major at Georgia Tech.

    When you show Georgia Tech who you are and what you have to offer, you’ve got a much greater chance of getting in.

    Learn how we can help you with college and career guidance! Check out our YouTube channel!

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    Carnegie Mellon University Supplemental Essay Examples

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    Is Carnegie Mellon University on your college list?

    computer science supplemental essay example

    Located in Pittsburgh, CMU offers strong academic programs in both the arts and sciences, attracting top students all over the world to apply. Carnegie Mellon has seven undergraduate colleges you can study in:

    • College of Engineering
    • College of Fine Arts
    • Dietrich College of Humanities and Social Sciences
    • Mellon College of Science
    • Tepper School of Business
    • H. John Heinz III College of Information Systems and Public Policy
    • School of Computer Science

    Carnegie Mellon is well known for their undergraduate engineering programs and their entrepreneurial teachings, but they also have a strong arts program and an architecture program, which isn’t offered at all universities.

    Interested in applying to CMU? Carnegie Mellon’s application calls for an additional writing supplement, asking students to elaborate on why they want to attend. Here are 5 successful examples for you to learn more about what the college offers, and how to best approach the “Why us?” supplemental essay:

    Essay Excerpt 1

    computer science supplemental essay example

    Thicctartan

    Mechanical Engineering, CMU ‘21

    “My face lit up as I moved my mouse over and clicked “run” to watch my days of work unfold before me. I had meticulously reconstructed my hometown of Pittsburgh to the best of my memory, but this time with a twist. The player has to navigate through the street of downtown to Heinz Field to beat both the clock and a pack of brain-hungry zombies. As I loaded up Alice each day to perfect this game, I took notice of the school in the corner: Carnegie Mellon University. As I continue to develop over the years, I kept finding myself drawn to the school, traces of it appearing everywhere.”

    Unlock his Carnegie Mellon profile to read his full essay and his application advice.

    Essay Excerpt 2

    computer science supplemental essay example

    Eliotdexter

    Computer Science, CMU ‘19

    “One of the reasons Carnegie Mellon appeals to me is because it is an urban campus and is intertwined with the city of Pittsburgh. On my visit to the campus for Sleeping Bag Weekend, I was quite impressed with the school and pleasantly surprised by the city of Pittsburgh. I attended presentations on both engineering and computer science. I am torn on which discipline appeals to me more, thus i am considering a double major. Although I have had more exposure to computer science, I am also very interested in the type of work that electrical engineers do.”

    View his full Carnegie Mellon profile to learn more about his application!

    Essay Excerpt 3

    computer science supplemental essay example

    Computer Engineering, CMU ‘21

    “”El Circulo” is what first got me interested in Carnegie Mellon University. It’s a course at the Department of Modern Language designed to help Latino children keep in touch with their culture. I am Cuban, and though Spanish was my first language, I’ve struggled with my ethnic identity. My skill with Spanish has fluctuated as a result, but I’m resolved to never lose that part of me. Spanish connects me to a whole other plethora of cultures, all unique in their own ways, and maintaining that connection is important to me. When I heard about “El Circulo”, I immediately thought of Coder Dojo, an educational platform for teaching computer science to children.”

    Check out his successful Carnegie Mellon application to see his essays and advice.

    Essay Excerpt 4

    computer science supplemental essay example

    Computer Science, CMU ‘21

    “In the sweltering heat of a Pittsburgh summer, I found myself sitting in one of the cool, air-conditioned classrooms in Wean Hall, quietly working with four other students to design our first ever video game. Having the opportunity to participate in one of Carnegie Mellon’s pre-college programs, the National High School Game Academy, I was overjoyed to be able to call this my home for the next six weeks. When I sat in the packed auditorium on opening day, I could not wait to meet the dozens of students who had the same shining eyes as I did, eager to learn and eager to create.”

    Unlock her CMU profile to see her full application!

    Essay Excerpt 5

    computer science supplemental essay example

    Bioengineering and Biomedical Engineering, CMU ‘19

    “I visited Carnegie Mellon twice—once last winter for a tour and information session, and again in October for a Sleeping Bag weekend. These visits opened my eyes to the incredible experience CMU provides. I sat in on Professor Conrad Zapanta’s Biomedical Engineering lab, peering over the shoulders of seniors as they experimented on muscle cells and explained their research to me.”

    View her CMU application file to learn more about her application journey.

    Hope this was helpful for those considering applying to CMU this fall! Interested in reading these students’ full personal statements in addition to their full responses to the CMU supplemental prompts? Unlock all of them in one go with our  CMU Package !

    computer science supplemental essay example

    You can also find more general tips to help you put together your  supplemental essays . Additionally, you can now search by  supplemental essay topics  on our search page. Or, you can check out our  curated packages  to find what you’re looking!

    For further access, upgrade to our  premium plans  offer different levels of profile access and data insights that can help you get into your dream school.

    About The Author

    Frances Wong

    Frances was born in Hong Kong and received her bachelor’s degree from Georgetown University. She loves super sad drama television, cooking, and reading. Her favorite person on Earth isn’t actually a member of the AdmitSee team - it’s her dog Cooper.

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    computer science supplemental essay example

    Carnegie Mellon University Supplemental Essays 2023-24

    Carnegie mellon supplemental essays 2023-24.

    Carnegie Mellon University is renowned for its unwavering commitment to academic excellence, especially in engineering and computer science . As one of the nation’s top universities, CMU demands rock-solid applications, which means well-crafted Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays. While a 4.0 GPA is impressive, CMU supplemental essays will truly differentiate the most competitive applicants. So, to maximize your admissions chances, you want highly refined Carnegie Mellon essays, and we’ll help you get started.

    Here’s a quick rundown of Carnegie Mellon. CMU’s cutting-edge academic offerings and vibrant extracurricular opportunities draw many aspiring students every year for every discipline. Where is Carnegie Mellon? It’s in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania , and is among the top schools in the state. As one of America’s premier private research institutions, Carnegie Mellon annually attracts a diverse cohort of exceptional minds—including you. 

    This article will review the Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays and their place among the Carnegie Mellon requirements. We’ll decode the Carnegie Mellon essay prompts and outline the Carnegie Mellon admissions requirements. We’ll also guide you through writing your CMU supplemental essays by offering strategies and tips for your Carnegie Mellon essays. Together, we will learn how to craft impactful Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays. Let’s get started. 

    CMU Supplemental Essays: Quick Facts

    Carnegie mellon supplemental essays: quick facts.

    • Carnegie Mellon University Acceptance Rate: According to U.S. News , the acceptance rate is 14%, which classifies Carnegie Mellon University as most selective.
    • 1 Personal Statement
    • 3 essays  (< 300 words each)
    • Carnegie Mellon University Admissions Application: Carnegie Mellon University only accepts Common Application . Therefore, students must complete their Carnegie Mellon application using the Common Application.
    • Early Decision I: November 1st
    • Regular Decision for Schools of Drama and Music: December 1st
    • Early Decision II: January 3rd
    • Regular Decision: January 3rd

    Please note that essay requirements are subject to change each admissions cycle, and portions of this article may have been written before the final publication of the most recent guidelines. For the most up-to-date information on essay requirements, check the university’s admissions website.

    Does Carnegie Mellon require supplemental essays?

    Yes, the Carnegie Mellon requirements include supplemental essays. In addition to your Common Application personal statement, Carnegie Mellon University requires applicants to respond to three Carnegie Mellon essay prompts. These Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays should be under 300 words and will explore your academic interests, learning process, and personal interests.

    It’s important to note that the Common Application personal statement is not covered further in this article. However, CollegeAdvisor.com has several resources for writing knockout Common Application and Coalition Application essays, including several successful examples . We also have an article that takes a deep dive into the 2023–2024 Common App essay prompts. Take a look around our site for more about personal statements and more.

    With a word count of 300 words or less, these Carnegie Mellon essay prompts require a concise response. Therefore, applicants must craft brief, impactful CMU supplemental essays that positively impact the Carnegie Mellon admissions team . In the following sections, we’ll discuss the Carnegie Mellon essay prompts and how to approach the Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays.

    What are the Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays?

    As shared in the previous section, Carnegie Mellon University requires the Common Application personal statement and three CMU supplemental essays. Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays respond to three distinct Carnegie Mellon essay prompts. Each of these Carnegie Mellon essay prompts asks a different question, and each essay will also reveal more about you.

    Here are the Carnegie Mellon essay prompts for 2023–2024:

    As you can see, the Carnegie Mellon essay prompts all ask very different questions. The Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays should give the admissions committee insight into you as a future CMU student. So, why are you interested in CMU as a place to explore your passions and fulfill your goals? Moreover, will you uphold CMU’s legacy on campus and after graduation?

    Next, we’ll look more closely at how to approach each of these Carnegie Mellon essay prompts. Remember that it’s advisable to brainstorm several ideas for each prompt, even if you already know what to write. You never know when you may come up with even better essay ideas for your CMU supplemental essays.

    Carnegie Mellon Essay Prompts #1

    As shared in the previous section, the first of the three Carnegie Mellon essay prompts asks:

    Carnegie Mellon Essay Prompt #1

    Many students pursue college for a specific degree, career opportunity, or personal goal. whichever it may be, learning will be critical to achieve your ultimate goal. as you think ahead to the process of learning during your college years, how will you define a successful college experience.

    Among the Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays, this asks most directly about applicants’ interest in Carnegie Mellon. Strong CMU supplemental essays for this prompt should balance the applicant’s goals for college with the university’s offerings. The essay should also show the applicant has done their research and knows how CMU can uniquely support them in their college journey.

    How to write this Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essay

    The first of the three Carnegie Mellon essay prompts asks students to reflect on what they consider a successful college experience. In response to this Carnegie Mellon essay, it’s important to note that the college experience is multifaceted, so there are many different ways to define “success.” For this Carnegie Mellon essay, it is essential to understand what a successful college experience looks like for you.

    Some types of success that you may want to consider in your response are: 

    Academic Excellence

    You may hope for close relationships with professors through office hours and small class sizes. What kind of academic environment can you thrive in, and how can CMU offer that?

    Broadened Horizons

    CMU has myriad opportunities to expand your learning beyond lectures, from extracurricular groups to study abroad programs. How do you envision these mind-opening experiences as part of your years at CMU?

    Skill Development

    Many students also hone skills relevant to your future career through internships, research projects, or extracurricular activities. Are there any offerings at Carnegie Mellon that will help you foster useful skills?

    Personal Growth

    For most, college is a time for self-discovery and personal development. This could mean joining groups relevant to your cultural identity or background, participating in mentorship, or even doing community service.

    An illustrious school like CMU is an ideal place to build meaningful relationships with peers, professors, and mentors. Think of your future career and ways you may start building a network while still a student.

    Of course, you don’t have to include every one of these points, and you can choose your own. The key is to think about what excites you about college—large lecture hall classes? Robotics research? Slacklining with the outdoors club? Jot down the most important or interesting prospects and research CMU to see if they can offer that.

    Successful Carnegie Mellon essays for this prompt should be specific about what the applicant considers a “successful college experience.” In addition, they should clearly state ways that CMU is an ideal environment, mentioning offerings like specific programs and groups. Ultimately, your essay should leave the reader understanding what you want out of college and how CMU can provide it.

    Carnegie Mellon Why Major Essay

    Like many selective colleges, the second of the three Carnegie Mellon essay prompts ask students to complete the “why major” essay as part of their application process. For this Carnegie Mellon essay, the prompt asks:

    Carnegie Mellon Essay Prompt # 2

    Most students choose their intended major or area of study based on a passion or inspiration that’s developed over time – what passion or inspiration led you to choose this area of study.

    Out of the three Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays, this question may appear the simplest, but don’t be mistaken. Writing this essay can be challenging because you only have 300 words to convey your passion. Especially for students who are laser-focused on their intended major, this can be a sizable challenge to write.

    It’s important to note that students actually enter Carnegie Mellon undecided. In fact, students can’t even declare a major until the end of their first year. Therefore, you aren’t bound by the topic you write about in this essay. Right now, you may already be planning the layout of your desk at NASA—and maybe you end up majoring in biology. This essay is about your academic passion right now; nobody will scrutinize it if you change disciplines in college. 

    Some students face a different hurdle: they don’t know what area of study they’re most passionate about. You may even be applying undeclared to one of CMU’s schools—a wide range of fields are available. Again, these Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays play no role in the major you ultimately declare. In light of that, you can brainstorm several topics that interest you and why. Don’t hesitate to make outlines or even quick and dirty drafts to narrow down your topic.

    Approaching this Why Major Essay

    Among the three Carnegie Mellon essay prompts, this asks most specifically about your intellectual interests. Therefore, a good Carnegie Mellon essay for this essay should accomplish three key things.

    1. Identify Your Interest

    Identify the academic area or major that genuinely resonates with you. You may state this directly, or it may be built in to the next section.

    2. Share Your Background

    Provide context to how you developed your passion for that particular interest, demonstrating enthusiasm for the field. This section should be the longest because you want to share as much information about yourself as possible. Therefore, share stories, anecdotes, or experiences illustrating your passion for the major. Furthermore, be sure to include any relevant experience that you already have in the field. Do you have internships, research projects, extracurricular activities, or coursework that have informed your decision? Be sure to mention them and explain how these experiences have shaped your understanding of the field.

    3. Connect to Carnegie

    Connect your passion and academic interest to Carnegie Mellon’s academic programs and opportunities. Share why the chance to study at Carnegie Mellon captivates you—whether it’s a unique curriculum, esteemed faculty, or research initiatives. Highlight how Carnegie’s programs align with your academic aspirations and why CMU is the ideal place to foster intellectual growth. 

    Considering you only have 300 words to tackle this Carnegie Mellon essay, every word counts. So, avoid general statements and focus on specifics that showcase your deep interest and preparedness for the chosen academic areas. Be specific about your interest, your experience, and how CMU can meet your academic needs.

    Additionally, be mindful of mentioning the same thing twice. If you mentioned a research initiative in the first Carnegie Mellon essay, do you need to bring it up here? That’s not to say your application will be automatically rejected if you name drop it again, but think carefully. Use your words wisely—if you could better use those words to talk about yourself and your passion, do so. The Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays don’t give any room for wasted words.

    By following this advice, your Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays will certainly captivate Carnegie’s admissions committee. 

    CMU Supplemental Essay #3 – Highlight Something

    The final Carnegie Mellon supplemental essay allows you to highlight something about yourself that wasn’t previously mentioned in your application materials. The last of the three Carnegie Mellon essay prompts asks:

    Carnegie Mellon Essay Prompt #3

    Consider your application as a whole. what do you personally want to emphasize about your application for the admission committee’s consideration highlight something that’s important to you or something you haven’t had a chance to share. tell us, don’t show us (no websites, please)..

    While possible Carnegie Mellon essays here are endless, it’s important to consider the overall impression of your CMU supplemental essays . That is to say, Carnegie Mellon essays for this prompt should contribute to the applicant’s personal narrative . How are you trying to present yourself to the admissions committee? Within that, what aspects are missing from your Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays? Questions like these can help you choose your topic, but they can be difficult to answer.

    Therefore, in the next section, we will help you decide what to showcase in this Carnegie Mellon supplemental essay.

    Choosing what to showcase in this Carnegie Mellon essay

    When approaching this Carnegie Mellon supplemental essay, think about it like this; your admissions decision may be riding on these 300 words. This might be the keystone that completes the admissions officer’s understanding of you as a potential CMU student. Ideally, these Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays provide critical information that rounds out a picture of their writers.

    So think about who you are and how you want the admissions committee to understand you. Reread your other two CMU supplemental essays, personal statement, and extracurricular activities section. What is something you haven’t already shared that would take you over the top in the eyes of the admissions committee? 

    Here are some things you may want to consider: 

    Hobby or Extracurricular Activity Experience

    While Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays allow you to highlight your academic interests, sometimes, your academic interests don’t align with your hobbies. Therefore, this could be a great space for a particular hobby or extracurricular experience you couldn’t highlight anywhere else. Common topics like sports or community service should be considered carefully, but most importantly, you should write with enthusiasm. 

    Cultural or Diversity Perspectives

    Considering the recent affirmative action ruling , some students from marginalized groups may not be able to state their ethnic background on the Common App. This includes how their ethnicity may have affected their livelihood. Therefore, you can use this Carnegie Mellon essay to discuss your cultural background, experiences, or perspectives. There are endless ways to approach this, like how your experiences will enrich your time as a community member at CMU.

    Personal Challenges or Growth

    Some successful Carnegie Mellon essays share a personal challenge and the growth that resulted from facing it. Instead of focusing solely on hardship, delve into the specific experiences and emotions you encountered during these challenges. What did you learn, and how did facing—not necessarily overcoming—this challenge shape you? Furthermore, maintain a positive and forward-looking tone, demonstrating resilience and a capacity for self-improvement. 

    Is Carnegie Mellon hard to get into?

    You’re probably aware that Carnegie Mellon University is renowned for its challenging admissions process. With an acceptance rate of approximately 14%, it can be quite difficult to secure a spot. While meeting the academic Carnegie Mellon requirements is important, your application is much more than a place to flaunt good grades.

    Remember that your application’s strength lies within overall excellence, which includes well-crafted CMU supplemental essays. These Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays can be what puts you over the edge. Your CMU supplemental essays allow you to showcase your unique qualities, experiences and your fit with CMU’s values and academic programs. While it’s undeniably competitive, admissions at Carnegie Mellon is not insurmountable. Well-rounded and thoughtful Carnegie Mellon essays can be what sets you apart and ultimately tips the scales in your favor.

    Does Carnegie Mellon care about essays?

    Yes, yes, yes. Admissions officers greatly value Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays because they offer direct insight into an applicant’s capabilities. In Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays, hopeful students speak directly to admissions staff about what they’ve done and what they’ll do at CMU. Essays are also a useful means to expand the admission criteria for prospective students, providing a more complete picture than scores alone.

    As a test-optional institution for those applying for fall 2024, Carnegie Mellon University also acknowledges the limitations of standardized test scores. A student’s potential, abilities, and compatibility with the university’s community cannot be fully captured by a standardized test. Consequently, for students without test scores, other Carnegie Mellon admissions requirements like transcripts, recommendations , and, most notably, CMU supplemental essays are more heavily weighed. However, that’s not to say that applicants are forbidden from sending test scores—if your standardized test scores are competitive, submit them.

    Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays empower applicants to illuminate their distinctive perspectives, life experiences, and personal attributes. Through the CMU supplemental essays, applicants can provide a deeper look into their character, intellectual curiosity, and alignment with Carnegie Mellon’s core values. Therefore, the university gains a more comprehensive and holistic understanding of each applicant by meticulously reviewing CMU supplemental essays.

    How do I make my Carnegie Mellon essays stand out?

    Considering the importance of the Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays, getting your CMU supplemental essays to stand out is incredibly important. So, here are some suggestions to help your Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays stand out to the admissions team.

    Using Authenticity and Personal Voice in Your Carnegie Mellon Essays

    Ensure your Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays reflect your true self. Use your Carnegie Mellon essays to share personal anecdotes and experiences that have influenced your values, passions, and goals. Avoid generic responses and instead focus on the unique aspects of your journey. Even if you feel that your experiences are common, make them yours.

    Research and Understanding of Carnegie Mellon University

    Take the time to research Carnegie Mellon University’s values, mission, and academic programs thoroughly. Anyone can answer, “Where is Carnegie Mellon?”, but you should be able to outline several CMU offerings that interest you. Gain a deep understanding of the university’s majors, academic offerings, campus culture, and initiatives. Incorporate this knowledge into your Carnegie Mellon essays to demonstrate your genuine interest and alignment with Carnegie Mellon.

    Have an Engaging Writing Style in Your Carnegie Mellon Essays

    Make your Carnegie Mellon essays engaging and captivating through strong storytelling . Capture the reader’s attention with powerful imagery and thoughtful language. Maintain a compelling narrative flow that keeps the reader hooked from the introduction to the conclusion. Avoid cliches and other common pitfalls —try to find your particular writing voice and let it shine through.

    Proofread and Refine Your Carnegie Mellon Essays

    Pay careful attention to proofreading and editing your CMU essays. Ensure correct grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. Verify the clarity and coherence of your ideas. Given the limited word count, you should also choose every word wisely and eliminate redundancy. You may ask a trusted friend or mentor to read your Carnegie Mellon essays and give you feedback.

    By utilizing these strategies while writing your Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays, you can create standout Carnegie Mellon essays that showcase your unique qualities and potential. Remember, CMU supplemental essays are your opportunity to convince the admissions committee that you’re an ideal fit for Carnegie Mellon University.

    CMU Supplemental Essays – Final Thoughts

    Carnegie Mellon University boasts a reputation for academic excellence and a highly competitive admissions process. To secure admission to Carnegie Mellon, it’s crucial to recognize the paramount importance of the Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays. Indeed, all aspects of the Carnegie Mellon application, from extracurriculars to recommendation letters , are important. However, in Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays, you can directly tell admissions officers who you are and why CMU is the place for you.

    CMU supplemental essays are your chance to stand out and capture the admissions committee’s attention. Your Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays are a crucial component of your application and will significantly impact your admission chances. Therefore, it’s essential to approach your Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays strategically. Craft your CMU supplemental essays thoughtfully and use them to convey your unique qualities and potential contributions to the Carnegie Mellon community.

    Ultimately, your Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays allow you to shine and convince the admissions committee that you’re an ideal fit. Use these tips to write impressive CMU supplemental essays and put your Carnegie Mellon application over the top. Are you now ready to apply ? We hope so. Good luck!

    This article was written by senior advisor Ashley Hollins . Still looking for additional information, check out this CollegeAdvisor article on Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays from 2021-2022 . Are you looking for more admissions support? Click here to schedule a free meeting with one of our Admissions Specialists. Our team will discuss your profile during your meeting and help you find targeted ways to increase your admissions odds at top schools. We’ll also answer any questions and discuss how CollegeAdvisor.com can support you in the college application process.

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    computer science supplemental essay example

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    computer science supplemental essay example

    A Guide to the USC Supplemental Essays 2021-2022

    Padya Paramita

    October 28, 2021

    computer science supplemental essay example

    You could be applying to the University of Southern California as an aspiring actor hoping to benefit from the “Acting for the Stage, Screen, and New Media” program as a stepping stone to Hollywood. Or you could be more of a STEM-oriented person, hoping to break into the gaming industry, ready to take on the “Computer Science: Games'' major. Whatever your academic focus, taking advantage of the USC supplemental essays 2021-2022 is an effective way to highlight who you are and why you’ve chosen the home of the Trojans.

    USC appreciates students who are willing to take advantage of their wide range of programs. The university looks for candidates who are interested in “ global issues and aren’t afraid to speak up in class or fight for a cause .” If you believe you check these boxes, it’s time to let the college know why by taking advantage of the writing component. To help you, I’ve outlined the prompts, the dos and don’ts for your responses, and additional tips for writing the USC supplemental essays 2021-2022 .

    Prompts for the USC Supplemental Essays 2021-2022

    Please respond to one of the prompts below. (250 words) .

    USC believes that one learns best when interacting with people of different backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives. Tell us about a time you were exposed to a new idea or when your beliefs were challenged by another point of view. Please discuss the significance of the experience and its effect on you.

    When choosing what to write about for this prompt, think critically about your experiences. You don’t have to choose something incredibly grand. Your topic can highlight a situation on a smaller scale and still convey a meaningful story that shaped your perspective. What matters is that your narrative is personal, and shows you as an intelligent, likable, and self-aware individual. Think about a time you might have realized you were wrong about something, for example. You could show your realization that previously made assumptions were proved to be incorrect, e.g, if you were too quick to put someone in a box, but they are now one of your best friends or most influential members.

    250 words are not enough to detail every single second of what happened when your viewpoint was challenged. If you choose this prompt for the USC supplemental essays 2021-2022 , you should emphasize the latter part of the question. Your response should elaborate on why this experience mattered so much, how it has changed the way you think, and what it means for you moving forward.

    Admissions officers should be able to see your open-mindedness to different points of view and believe that you would be a valuable addition to the USC community. 

    USC faculty place an emphasis on interdisciplinary academic opportunities. Describe something outside of your intended academic focus about which you are interested in learning.

    Answering this prompt within the USC supplemental essays 2021-2022 is a great chance for you to talk about an interest that hasn’t come across in the rest of your application. If you’re a STEM student, your courses and extracurriculars probably revolve around science, and similarly, if you’re a musician or a writer, you might have been more involved in creative activities. At the same time, your choice of major doesn’t define who you are. You could be a science major who is also a talented violinist. You could also have unusual hobbies such as cross-stitching or competitive eating that you could elaborate on if you pick this question. 

    Don’t spend too much time detailing the activity. Your response should mainly highlight why the topic matters to you so much, how you’ve gone out of your way to explore new issues within the field, and how you hope to continue to explore the area in college. Admissions officers would appreciate knowing you’re a multifaceted individual, that you’re invested in a topic outside your primary intellectual pursuits, so choose this essay if you’re excited to portray a different side of you. If the interest is different from your primary interest, but somehow connects, it’d be good to describe that here.

    What is something about yourself that is essential to understanding you?

    This is the most open-ended prompt offered by the USC supplemental essays 2021-2022 . There are a couple of points to keep in mind when answering it: 1) What have you not already covered in your personal statement and activities list? and 2) What experience, aspect of your background, or unique extracurricular interest distinguishes you from other students your age? If there’s a quality that you love about yourself, you could elaborate on that. Make sure it’s not something simple such as “I’m funny.” If you’ve got an exceptional sense of humor, you have to show it in action. Why is it fundamental to you? How has it developed over time? Why do you appreciate it?

    When it comes to framing such an essay, anecdotes are essential for getting your point across to the reader. If you’re just going to state a fact, you’ll have hundreds of words remaining. Instead, narrate a story that covers exactly what makes you unique, and you’ll help admissions officers understand you much better, as well as get a sense of your voice and what matters to you. 

    Describe how you plan to pursue your academic interests and why you want to explore them at USC specifically. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice major selections. (Approximately 250 words)

    This is the closest to a “why school” question as USC gets. The school wants to know whether you’ve actually put thought into your decision to apply, or if you’re just interested because it’s a well-ranked school in sunny LA. So before you sit down to write your answer, it’s important to go through the list of academic programs at the college and think about how they will help you reach your goals. 

    Because this prompt is all about looking towards the future, don’t focus your essay too much on how your interest in the topics originally arose. The main point of your response should highlight how you will take advantage of unique USC majors such as “Cinematic Arts, Film, and Television Production,” or “Animation and Digital Arts.” If you’ve chosen a major that’s available at other colleges such as Chemistry or Music, you need to drive home exactly why the courses and resources offered by USC can help your specific aspirations. Don’t limit yourself to just academic offerings. If there are any relevant clubs or programs of an academic nature, mention those as well.

    Each of your points should be tailored to USC. Do the research and see if a given program is unique to UC or a national one available at every school.

    Describe yourself in three words. First Word:*

    Second Word:*

    Third Word:*

    What is your favorite snack?*

    Best movie of all time:*

    Dream job:*

    If your life had a theme song, what would it be?*

    Dream trip:*

    What TV show will you binge watch next? *

    Which well-known person or fictional character would be your ideal roommate?*

    Favorite book:*

    If you could teach a class on any topic, what would it be?*

    USC wants to know how you would fit into the college. Help them to see where on campus you’d make contributions and how its resources boost you toward your goals. So instead of choosing common and vague adjectives to describe yourself such as “loyal” or “kind,” choose three words that convey more information about who you are and what you enjoy, such as “eclectic” or “globetrotter.” The words you pick shouldn’t all mean similar things. Each entry should throw a new element into the mix to express information about you.

    The key to writing these very short answers is to make sure you’re being truthful. Don’t just try to aim for what you think the admissions officers want to read. Just because you’re a prospective history major, doesn’t mean your favorite TV show necessarily has to be Downton Abbey. If you enjoy the humor of Kimmy Schmidtt, that’s fine as well. These responses among the USC supplemental essays 2021-2022 are designed to get to know you. 

    Some of the questions could help convey a more fun side of you, such as choosing a fictional character or a famous person as your roommate, or your theme song. Think carefully about these answers. Even though you haven’t been asked “why” for these questions, think about what the hundred characters can convey about you. What do you hope that admissions officers will deduce about you based on your answers? Don’t try extra hard to be witty. But if it comes naturally, don’t be afraid to add it in.

    While it’s important to be yourself, you also need to remember that you want to stand out from your peers. Don’t say Disneyland for a dream trip or The Avengers as your favorite movie of all time because these are common answers that the reader is bound to encounter from other students. Saying Harry Potter is your favorite book won’t really make for a memorable application. Try to think outside of the box, while making sure you’re staying true to yourself at the same time.

    For Dornsife College of Letters, Arts and Sciences: 

    Answer one of the following questions.

    The word “education” can take on a variety of meanings. To some, receiving a high school or college diploma is the ultimate mark of being “educated,” while others take a different view. Looking past receiving a diploma, what does it mean to you personally to be “educated”? What standards will you put in place to define whether or not you’ve obtained a great education? (250 words)

    This is an interesting—but tricky—question. You can answer this prompt if you have thought a lot about what education and particularly a college education means to you. See that the question has mentioned “past receiving a diploma.” So, when writing the USC supplemental essays 2021-2022, if you do choose this prompt, remember that you shouldn’t just be saying “to get a degree” or anything of that accord. Have you gained significant experience in a certain area due to your education? Do you believe pursuing higher education can help you reach certain goals? Or, do you have a unique perspective on the matter that provides a different way of thinking about the matter entirely? No matter what you write about, make sure admissions officers leave the application with an idea of your perspective and how your way of thinking would contribute to their campus.

    Many of us have at least one issue or passion that we care deeply about – a topic on which we would love to share our opinions and insights in hopes of sparking intense interest and continued conversation. If you had ten minutes and the attention of a million people, what would your talk be about? (250 words)

    This is a very open-ended question. The school values students who are particularly invested in activities and topics that are meaningful to them, no matter what the scale. If you have a meaningful hobby that isn’t a conventional extracurricular per se, or you have a favorite movie that you watch over and over again, USC is telling you to write about it. Just the introductory paragraph to most essays requires over 250 words—you might find it difficult to restrain yourself while talking about your favorite topic. In order to get your point across, you need to put less emphasis on describing the activity or object or issue at hand—limit it to one or two sentences—and more on why you could talk about it for so long. Why is it your favorite? Why does it get a fire out of you in a way other topics don’t? Has it shaped your perspective in a significant way?

    Since admissions officers will see your activities list through the Common App, you should find ways to include anecdotes that will convey additional information about yourself. While you should not pick a purely academic topic or something that you think USC wants to hear, you also should think of something beyond global warming, a popular movie, or your major choice. Your outlook on the activity or subject should be unique, and help you stand out among your peers.

    For Engineering Applicants:

    The student body at the USC Viterbi School of Engineering is a diverse group of unique engineers and computer scientists who work together to engineer a better world for all humanity. Describe how your contributions to the USC Viterbi student body may be distinct from others. Please feel free to touch on any part of your background, traits, skills, experiences, challenges, and/or personality in helping us better understand you. * (250 word limit)

    This is a very open-ended question. You can start by asking yourself the following questions to see if this prompt is right for you:

    • Is there a part of you that’s unique that you haven’t been able to talk about in other parts of your application?
    • Have you started any initiatives or clubs that you would like to further highlight?
    • What is your passion?
    • What has been your biggest inspiration?
    • How do you spend your free time?
    • How are you equipped to be a future engineer?
    • How do you work on a team?
    • Why are you applying to USC specifically for engineering?

    Choose a topic that can help distinguish you from other applicants and make you a memorable engineering candidate in the schools’ eyes. Make sure you write an essay that portrays you as not just a leader or unique applicant—but as someone who would make a difference to the Viterbi Engineering community. Make sure you mention specific resources from the school that can help you get there. And do NOT repeat your personal statement!

    The National Academy of Engineering (NAE) and their 14 Grand Challenges go hand-in-hand with our vision to engineer a better world for all humanity. Engineers and computer scientists are challenged to solve these problems in order to improve life on the planet. Learn more about the NAE Grand Challenges at http://engineeringchallenges.org and tell us which challenge is most important to you, and why.* (250 word limit)

    This prompt is a bit different than supplemental essays that you might be used to. USC wants its engineering students to be unafraid to challenge themselves and step up when necessary. Go through the website and think about which challenge is important to you. Whether you select “provide access to clean water” or “make solar energy more economical” don’t forget to explain exactly why the challenge is important to you. And don’t be generic in your answers! We all know why clean water is crucial—but why is the issue personally important to you? Use anecdotes and any relevant experiences that you have to drive home your point!

    Additional Tips for Answering the USC Supplemental Essays 2021-2022

    • Be Careful About Repeating Your Personal Statement - The University of Southern California is a member of the Common App, so there’s no point repeating what you’ve said in your personal statement , especially considering that Prompt 1 in Question 1 is very similar to the Common App prompt: “ Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?” Prompt 3 in Question 1 is similar to the Common App question, “ Some students have a background, identity, interest or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. ” Because admissions officers want each component to add something new, don’t repeat what you’ve said if you’ve chosen these Common App prompts. Or, if your USC and Common App questions overlap, write about a different experience for USC. If you keep repeating information, your application is pretty much bound to bore the admissions officers. That’s the last thing you want.
    • Choose the essay option that’s best for you - For most of the questions, you have the option to choose from the three prompts. Make sure you think carefully about your choices. Pick a topic that you believe will bring the strongest response out of you and help paint an accurate picture of your personality. If you can’t come up with a time your viewpoint was changed, instead try thinking about your other academic interests. If neither of those appeals to you, brainstorm what you could tell the admissions officers through the questions. Take advantage of the flexibility provided by the USC supplemental essays 2021-2022 .

    USC asks a wide range of questions to get to know you better. Don’t miss out on the opportunity to expand on why you’re an exceptional and must-have applicant. By thinking carefully about how you can distinguish yourself from your peers—along with making sure your answers focus on you and your interests—you can be a standout candidate through stellar responses to the USC supplemental essays 2021-2022 . You’ve got this!

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    4 Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essay Examples (2023)

    Ryan

    If you want to get into Carnegie Mellon in 2023, you'll need to write responses to CMU's writing supplement that help you stand out and get accepted.

    In this article, I've gathered 4 of the best CMU essays that worked to hopefully get you inspired to write your own stand-out essays.

    I've also included this year's supplemental prompts for CMU and some ideas for getting started.

    Let's get started.

    What is Carnegie Mellon's Acceptance Rate?

    Getting into Carnegie Mellon is more difficult every year. Last year, 42,015 students applied to CMU and only 7,143 students were admitted.

    Which means Carnegie Mellon University an overall acceptance rate of 17% , or in other words less than every 1 in 5 students get admitted each year.

    And admissions into certain programs like Computer Science or the School of Drama is even more competitive, with acceptances rates of 7% and 4% each.

    Carnegie Mellon Acceptance Scattergram

    That's a comparable admit rate to the most selective Ivy League schools like Princeton University for example.

    To have your best chances of getting into CMU, you'll need to write great essay responses. Below are 4 of the best examples of CMU essays to help improve your essays and get accepted.

    What are the Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Prompts for 2022-23?

    This year Carnegie Mellon requires students to write three short essays of 300 words each.

    Here are the Carnegie Mellon University writing supplement prompts for 2022. The questions on this page are being asked by Carnegie Mellon University:

    Most students choose their intended major or area of study based on a passion or inspiration that’s developed over time – what passion or inspiration led you to choose this area of study? (300 word maximum)

    Many students pursue college for a specific degree, career opportunity or personal goal. Whichever it may be, learning will be critical to achieve your ultimate goal. As you think ahead to the process of learning during your college years, how will you define a successful college experience? (300 word maximum)

    Consider your application as a whole. What do you personally want to emphasize about your application for the admission committee’s consideration? Highlight something that’s important to you or something you haven’t had a chance to share. Tell us, don’t show us (no websites please). (300 word maximum)

    Carnegie Mellon has used these prompts in past years.

    And below you'll find several examples of essays that responded to these prompts. I've also included some personal statement essays from admitted CMU students.

    4 Carnegie Mellon University EssaysThatWorked

    It's safe to say students who get into Carnegie Mellon write interesting and creative application essays. Or at least these ones did.

    Here are 4 of the best Carnegie Mellon essays that have helped students get admitted.

    Carnegie Mellon Essay Example #1

    Carnegie mellon essay example #2, carnegie mellon essay example #3, carnegie mellon essay example #4.

    Prompt: Most students choose their intended major or area of study based on a passion or inspiration that’s developed over time – what passion or inspiration led you to choose this area of study? (300 words max)

    When I was younger, I faced a lot of negative emotions including anxiety and low self-esteem. For a long time, I felt alone and as if no one understood how I felt. My self confidence was at an all-time low when I started taking psychology. All of a sudden the negative emotions I was feeling started making sense. I was suddenly able to understand how people were wired and why others treated me a certain way. I in fact was able to feel empathy for my aggressors after understanding that those who treated me negatively often faced struggles of their own. Most importantly, I felt as though something out there finally understood me. Because psychology offered insight into my own behavior and helped me to understand others, I was eventually able to overcome my insecurities.

    In the future, I would like to help others do the same. No matter where I end up, understanding why people behave a certain way and being more considerate and empathetic for others will only help me thrive. Mental health is a growing issue in our society. The world we live in is a confusing place filled with pain, but psychology provides a way to determine the cause of this suffering and how to change it. I never want anyone to feel the isolation and sorrow I felt when I was younger. I want to help others become compassionate and unconditionally loving not just toward others, but to themselves. Even if I only make a small change in the world and affect just one person’s life, I would like to pursue that.

    Prompt: Consider your application as a whole. What do you personally want to emphasize about your application for the admission committee’s consideration? Highlight something that’s important to you or something you haven’t had a chance to share. Tell us, don’t show us (no websites please). (300 words max)

    I recall entering the intimidating world of high school as an exorbitantly introverted, stereotypical Asian girl. My father urged me to assert myself and attempt new activities I wouldn’t have typically participated in. I didn’t want to be disappointed in twenty years by the things I didn’t attempt in high school, so I decided to pursue my long-time dream of becoming a cheerleader. I had always admired the optimism that cheerleaders had, and I was at a point in my life where I needed more positivity.

    I faced obstacles trying to join the team. An Asian cheerleader? But Asians were supposed to be smart and cheerleaders were dumb! I broke racial stereotypes by becoming the first Asian cheerleader in my high school.

    When I made the squad, I was exposed to individuals which whom I did not ordinarily traverse paths. I stepped outside of my bubble and met girls who were extremely extroverted and seemed to be in a constant state of elation. They taught me how to spread positivity throughout my daily interactions and taught me to use optimism as a strength in facing the hurdles of life. These were qualities I would have never learned from a textbook.

    My parents had possessed strong reservations about me joining and feared I would meet girls who weren’t motivated in academics. This was false. Many of the girls were brilliant and creative in ways my regular friend group wasn’t. All avenues of life met there on that team.

    Cheerleading was the rain and sun that helped a small seed like me bloom into a flower. It delights me knowing that I gained social skills and made friends I never thought I could gain. Cheerleading has changed my perspective on life and joining that family is one of my greatest treasures.

    Prompt: “When we‘re connected to others, we become better people,” said Carnegie Mellon University‘s Randy Pausch, author of The Last Lecture .

    At Carnegie Mellon you‘ll have the opportunity to collaborate with a diverse community of scholars, artists and innovators. Given the students, faculty, staff and resources that have been available to you as a student, how have you collaborated with others, in or out of the classroom?

    Or, what lessons have you learned from working with others in the past, that might shape your experience in the future? (300 words max)

    Because it took some time for me to pass my driving test, I was unable to get a traditional job at the same age as the rest of my peers. I had another friend who was also unable to drive. To fund our shopping addictions, we started our own business, "Velour Slimes," where we sold slimes of a diverse number of scents and textures. The experience gave us a taste of entrepreneurship and the elements of what it takes to run a successful business. One of those elements was collaboration.

    Going into business with a friend can get ugly, even with a small scale operation like ours. One of our most grueling conflicts was deciding whether to spend our first profit paying off our debts or buying new materials to make more slime with. Neither of us were transparent with our goals, or on the same page. We let our conflict escalate to the point where we could not look at each other. Eventually we solved our issue by effectively communicating together. By being honest with each other about our ideas and concisely supporting our arguments with evidence, we were able to understand each other and find a balance. In the end, we compromised. We spent half of the money paying off our debts and the other half on more materials to create even more slimes.

    This experience brought me closer to my friend. We were able to strengthen our relationship while becoming more understanding and considerate of each others’ feelings. I discovered empathy is deeply necessary in improving the negative aspects of modern day society. If we were all a bit more empathetic, the world would be a more pleasant place. For that reason, I try to continuously improve my own compassion.

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    Prompt: Why Carnegie Mellon? (650 words max)

    With a strong background in computer science and communications, I hope to incorporate both into a future career of building data systems, conducting research, and consulting for organizations that serve underrepresented citizens.

    Why This Essay Works:

    Specific details and anecdotes will almost always be more compelling than less specific ones. In this essay, the student does a great job of including specific, "nerdy" details, such as "an association test between melanoma associated variants and survival outcome." These details demonstrate your in-depth knowledge of an area and make your essay more engaging.

    This essay does a fantastic job of addressing real-world problems and emphasizing the "bigger picture" impact of their studies. Rather than just explaining what they want to study, this student explains how their education will help them have an impact on the world. Make an argument for what problems you see in the world and how you could potentially help solve them.

    For "Why Us?" college essays, one of the most important parts is to reference unique aspects to the school. Almost all colleges have strong academics, great faculty, etc. So instead of referencing those points, reference what makes the school unique and different. In this essay, the student talks about "CMU's Technology Consulting in the Global Community" program, which is both highly specific to CMU and relevant to their own interests.

    What They Might Improve:

    In general, you should avoid simply listing your achievements. This student has many remarkable activities and experiences, but it comes across less interesting because the first half of the essay is simply describing these accomplishments.

    For "Why Us?" essays, it is also a good idea to reference the values the school represents. Each school has a different "culture" and type of student body, and admissions wants to know how you will fit in.

    If you're trying to get into Carnegie Mellon, here are 4 of the best essays that worked. Read example answers to Carnegie Mellon's writing supplement for 2022 and see how other students got into CMU.

    What did you think of these Carnegie Mellon essays?

    Ryan Chiang , Founder of EssaysThatWorked

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    Princeton Admitted Essay

    People love to ask why. Why do you wear a turban? Why do you have long hair? Why are you playing a guitar with only 3 strings and watching TV at 3 A.M.—where did you get that cat? Why won’t you go back to your country, you terrorist? My answer is... uncomfortable. Many truths of the world are uncomfortable...

    computer science supplemental essay example

    MIT Admitted Essay

    Her baking is not confined to an amalgamation of sugar, butter, and flour. It's an outstretched hand, an open invitation, a makeshift bridge thrown across the divides of age and culture. Thanks to Buni, the reason I bake has evolved. What started as stress relief is now a lifeline to my heritage, a language that allows me to communicate with my family in ways my tongue cannot. By rolling dough for saratele and crushing walnuts for cornulete, my baking speaks more fluently to my Romanian heritage than my broken Romanian ever could....

    computer science supplemental essay example

    UPenn Admitted Essay

    A cow gave birth and I watched. Staring from the window of our stopped car, I experienced two beginnings that day: the small bovine life and my future. Both emerged when I was only 10 years old and cruising along the twisting roads of rural Maryland...

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    UIUC Supplemental Essays 2023-24 – Prompts and Advice

    September 13, 2023

    uiuc supplemental essays

    The University of Illinois — Urbana Champaign is one of the top public universities in the entire United States. Top-ranked computer science, engineering, and business programs, in particular, attract an endless stream of high-caliber applicants from around the globe. Great grades and test scores will put aspiring members of the Fighting Illini on strong footing. However, you are also required to address 2-3 UIUC supplemental essay prompts.

     (Want to learn more about How to Get Into UIUC? Visit our blog entitled:  How to Get Into the University of Illinois Urbana Champaign: Admissions Data and Strategies  for all of the most recent admissions data as well as tips for gaining acceptance.)

    Let’s dive right in and begin examining the 2023-24 UIUC supplemental essays. Two important notes:

    • You will be addressing 2-3 of these essays, depending on which category you fall into.
    • Each response is a max of 150 words.

    UIUC Supplemental Essays: If You’re Applying to a Major:

    1) explain, in detail, an experience you’ve had in the past 3 to 4 years related to your first-choice major. this can be an experience from an extracurricular activity, in a class you’ve taken, or through something else..

    UIUC is not necessarily asking you to write about the in-class or extracurricular experience which led to you earning the most prestigious awards or holding the highest position of leadership. The university is going to see all of your accomplishments in the Honors and Activities sections of the Common App. As such, you want to ask yourself two main questions:

    1) Which experience best illustrates my passion and commitment to my first choice major?

    2) Which experience is closest to my heart and most representative of my unique passions?

    Pick the option that will allow you to deliver additional detail that may be memorable to the admissions reader. Start this process by asking yourself, “What is the most interesting and consequential moment that I have experienced in a classroom setting or in my extracurricular activities?” If you can identify one clear-cut moment, that is likely the activity worth sharing with the UIUC admissions staff.

    2) Describe your personal and/or career goals after graduating from UIUC and how your selected first-choice major will help you achieve them.

    This prompt shares some of the same elements of a traditional “Why Us?” essay, but UIUC is particularly interested in hearing about why the curriculum in your desired academic department is attractive to you—not so much about your love for the football team or the beautiful campus. Below are some quick tips for writing an essay that will help your admissions cause:

    • Cite specific academic programs , professors ,  research opportunities , internship/externship programs ,  study abroad programs ,  student-run organizations , etc.
    • State why your chosen program is the perfect fit for you  and why you are the perfect fit for it.
    • Offer insight into your future personal/academic/career goals. It’s okay if you’re not 100% sure what you want to do at age 25 (most teens are not). Feel free to speculate based on your current mindset and interests.

    In summary, you’ll want to dedicate time to researching more about your prospective college/department and what makes it truly world-class. The more specific you can get here, the better your UIUC essays will be!

    UIUC Supplemental Essays: If You’re Applying to Our Undeclared Program in the Division of General Studies:

    1) what are your academic interests please include 2-3 majors you’re considering at illinois and why..

    Your strengths will likely be evident from other data points (AP scores, classroom grades, SAT/ACT results, etc.). Therefore we recommend focusing the bulk of your response on your specific academic interests that relate to your major of choice.

    Whether it’s a general love for math/science or literature or a specific interest in aerospace engineering or 19th century French novels, use this opportunity to share what makes you tick, the ideas that keep you up at night, and what subject inspires you to dream big. What topic makes you read books and online content until your eyes bleed? Share the manner in which you relentlessly pursue knowledge. Whether it’s falling down a Wikipedia rabbit hole about the nature of time or consuming thousands of hours of podcasts on game theory, this is a chance to illustrate the ways in which you are an obsessive learner with an endless thirst for information. The admissions reader should emerge from reading this essay with the sense that you are a sincerely curious young person with a strong intellectual drive.

    Finally, be sure to connect these interests to 2-3 majors at Illinois and support your reasoning with school-specific offerings and resources, like academic departments , courses , research initiatives , etc.

    2) What are your future career or academic goals? You may include courses you took in high school and how these impacted your goals.

    Note that this question is a bit different than the one asked of students with a firm first-choice major. We recommend providing a straightforward answer here. If you are Undeclared, you may not have a firm idea of your academic goals, but you can use your current academic interests (the ones explored in the question above) as well as past academic experiences to guide your answer. Similarly, your career intentions may be relatively unformed. Use this space to share academic/career areas that may be of interest. Don’t sweat it if your plans are still in a nascent stage. This is normal for a 17 or 18-year-old, and UIUC will understand.

    UIUC Supplemental Essays: If You’ve Selected a Second-Choice Major (Including Undeclared):

    Please explain your interest in your second-choice major or your overall academic or career goals..

    See answer #1 for those selecting a major. You are essentially repeating this process for a different field. However, you probably don’t want to have two completely unrelated majors/career goals. For example, if your first choice was business and your second choice was economics, it’s easy to explain the relationship. If the fields are more disparate (e.g. Dance & Chemical Engineering, be sure to provide a thorough explanation.

    How important are the essays at the University of Illinois Urbana Champaign?

    UIUC only labels two factors as being “very important” to the admissions process. Those factors are: the rigor of your high school coursework and your GPA. The essays are “important” to the application review. In fact, the essays are rated as being of equal importance to test scores, extracurricular activities, and talent/ability.

    Want Personalized Essay Assistance?

    If you are interested in working with one of College Transitions’ experienced and knowledgeable essay coaches as you craft your UIUC supplemental essays, we encourage you to  get a quote  today.

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    3 Great Cornell Essay Examples

    Cornell is one of the top schools in the nation, and a member of the esteemed Ivy League. With an extremely low general acceptance rate, admissions is highly-selective, though keep in mind that acceptance rates vary by schools within the university.

    Cornell requires a single supplement for all applicants, but the prompt will vary based on the college you’re applying to. In this post, we’ll be going over two prompts for the College of Arts and Sciences and one prompt for the SC Johnson College of Business (which includes the infamous Hotel School!). We’ll outline what admissions officers are looking for, and we’ll analyze a sample essay written by a real applicant!

    Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized.  

    Read our Cornell University essay breakdown to get a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental prompts. 

    Essay Example #1

    Prompt: Students in Arts and Sciences embrace the opportunity to delve into multifaceted academic interests, embodying in 21st-century terms Ezra Cornell’s “any person…any study” founding vision. Tell us about the areas of study you are excited to explore, and specifically why you wish to pursue them in our College. (650 words)

    “Give me liberty or give me death!” When I first read this quote, I got shivers. As a fourth-grader, I remember thinking: “How could one love liberty so much that they would give up their own life?” To me, American revolutionaries were too passionate about paying taxes and I shrugged off their fervor for liberty. But five years later, I found myself asking the same question.

    During my freshman year of high school, I became completely engrossed in learning about the Atlantic Revolutions. From studying the Storming of the Bastille to Haitain independence, I noticed that people sacrificed everything for freedom. It was soon that I learned about Enlightenment philosophers and the role they played in spurring revolutions by inspiring others to challenge social and political norms. I was amazed that philosophy had the power to mobilize entire populations and positively reform nations. But as I reflected on the circumstances of social inequality and political corruption that led to these revolutions, I realized that philosophy is not just a powerful practice of the past; it is just as relevant today.

    The United States is a country of contradictions. We boast values of equality and justice, yet our prison, immigration, and education systems are rife with inequity and corruption. I seek a philosophy education to lend me an understanding of existing power structures and how to create a more equitable society. There is no better place to further my educational career than at the Sage School of Philosophy, the birthplace of the first philosophical review in our country. Cornell’s long-standing commitment to approaching philosophy in a holistic manner is evident in its wide range of courses offered. Specifically, I am drawn to the Discussion of Justice course that focuses on current political controversies such as immigration and racial inequality, both issues I care deeply about. After witnessing the cycle of poverty that plagues my community, I see that our society is facing a moral dilemma. This course will enable me to question the values held collectively by our society and recognize the impact such values have on minority groups.

    With a greater understanding of morality and social inequality, I hope to pursue a career in civil law rights, helping underrepresented groups in our country receive the justice they deserve. It would be a privilege to begin my career in law by learning the Philosophy of Law from Professor Julia Markovitz. Professor Markovitz’s expertise in moral reasoning will push me to consider the ethical problems that lawyers face and how to fairly represent those in need. I am energized by this course’s goal to not only learn the law, but also challenge it. Building a fairer future relies on changing current institutions based on the government’s moral obligation to its people. I am eager to study philosophy through a career-oriented lens that enables me to apply my learned knowledge to the field of law.

    Among the many political issues our country is facing, I am motivated to learn more about global migration. Just miles from my home in South Texas, the humanitarian crisis at the southern border has shown me the complexity of migration. This year, my experiences volunteering with Loaves and Fishes, an organization that shelters and aids undocumented immigrants, have given me insight into the poverty and violence that many are trying to escape from. To those arriving from the southern border, migration is not a choice; it is a matter of survival. On a larger scale, with rising global temperatures creating climate change refugees and international wars rendering thousands of people homeless, I crave a more extensive understanding of the factors that prompt migration. I plan to pursue a minor in Migration Studies in order to learn how populations can be sustained and thrive in a constantly moving world. Taking classes at the Mario Einaudi Center for International Studies will allow me to interact with students and faculty from other colleges on campus. I believe there are a myriad of factors that drive international migration; thus, working with students from all disciplines will expose me to a diversity in research that can shape future immigration policies. As a daughter of immigrants, I am moved by Cornell’s dedication to supporting education on migration, namely through launching ‘Migrations’ as the theme for Cornell’s first Global Grand Challenge. By researching, teaching, and engaging with communities to tackle the challenges of migration, I am excited to be part of a generation of activists that assist and empower migrants.

    Today, the passion American revolutionaries had for change is no longer perplexing to me. I, too, am ready to enact change in our country and society. With Cornell’s College of Arts and Sciences’ broad curriculum that encourages me to explore my many interests, I am confident that I will have the resources to improve our world in a truly revolutionary way.

    What the Essay Did Well

    This essay effectively accomplished the most important part of a “ Why This Major? ” essay: walking us through the past, present, and future of their interests. The essay starts by explaining how an interest in history spurred this student to care about philosophy and social justice, then they describe how they hope to further their academic passions at Cornell, and then the student tells us how they will make an impact after graduation.

    Beyond the structure, this essay does a nice job of integrating the student’s multi-dimensional passions into the college’s offerings. From the beginning where they describe their research on revolutions to concrete examples of current social inequalities, they present their interests in a very real manner that makes it clear exactly what they care about. Because of this elaboration, the reader can clearly see how the student’s passion for philosophy, immigration, and social justice easily fit into Cornell’s curriculum.

    The connection between their interests and Cornell was strengthened by the context this student provided about themselves. For example, when they mention the Discussion of Justice class, the student explains that they have witnessed the effects of poverty first-hand and need this class to better understand and address those issues one day. 

    Providing detailed, personal context for school-specific opportunities, as this essay does, highlights your genuine interest and connection to the topics you are talking about. The true strength of this essay lies in the ability to connect the Cornell major to this student, with ample background information, at every stage of their academic career.

    What Could Be Improved

    While this essay starts strong with an anecdote that places the reader in the middle of the action, the rest of the essay falls a bit short on the action and excitement. The essay is a well-written account of this student’s passions, where they originated from, and where they hope to take them, but we are also looking for an energizing story that keeps us reading.

    One easy way to bring more energy to the essay is to simply have shorter paragraphs. Long blocks of text are overwhelming and easier to get lost in, but shorter, more direct paragraphs help move the reader effortlessly from one paragraph to the next. Finding natural breaks in a paragraph is an easy way to make the essay flow more smoothly and maintain the reader’s engagement.

    Another way to liven up the essay would be to interject more of the student’s personal thoughts and quotes. In the first paragraph, the student provides a quote to show the reader their inner monologue, which is an excellent way to show us what you think or feel rather than telling us. If more thoughts were interjected throughout the essay, we could get a better sense of how this student feels about certain topics, as well as see their personal voice shine through.

    Essay Example #2

    Throughout middle school and high school, I continuously took advanced science and technology classes. It wasn’t until four years ago when my eyes caught a glance of a flier posted next to my biology classroom: “Academy of Biotechnology! Meeting in room 307 today for freshmen interested in biotechnology,” that I realized my two favorite classes were intertwined in a field of their own: biotechnology. 

    I’ve been in Room 307 every Thursday this year listening to guest speakers talk about various topics from sleep to drug development, exploring new advances in biotech, and planning the annual career fair.

    Last summer, my internship at Holy Cross furthered my interest in biotechnology. When I was introduced to the da Vinci Xi surgical system – a robot that utilizes high-tech guided targeting and auxiliary technology to achieve less blood loss and a faster recovery time for patients, I was amazed at the employment of technology and its power to renovate the medical field. Cornell’s world-leading academics in its College of Arts and Science, particularly the interdisciplinary Biology and Society major, makes it a dream place for me to pursue my passion in both health and biotechnology. I’m specifically interested in the course on Ethical Issues in Health and Medicine, and the seminar course on Controversies in Science, Technology, and Medicine. These capstone courses under top professors will enable me to acquire knowledge about the breadth of biology within the dimensions of modern medical and ethical issues. 

    I love that biotechnology encompasses a public health side as well as a microbiology side. Wanting to further explore the molecular side of biotechnology, I sought out the opportunity to work as a research intern at Montgomery College. I have been modeling protein and protein dockings of a cyanobacterium Synechococcus species through computational biology. I’m also drawn to Cornell’s Biological Sciences major with a concentration in Molecular and Cell Biology, where I can further explore my interest in biotechnology. Cornell’s wide range of courses in this major reflects its commitment to supporting its students with novel opportunities. Particularly, I am drawn to the Orientation Lectures in Molecular Biology & Genetics course. I’m eager to learn about the variety of research that Cornell’s experienced faculty is conducting. 

    It would be an honor to learn from and work with Cornell’s researchers at one of the world’s greatest research institutions, through the myriad of opportunities the college provides. I’m especially interested in the research of Dr. Cohen and his team in the creation of micrometer-scale robots for following biochemical signals and encapsulating a soft tissue analog for new future treatments of disease. 

    Outside of the classroom, I hope to combine my passions for public health and advocacy by engaging in the American Red Cross student organization, and perhaps the Cornell Sun. I also excitedly anticipate running Club Cross Country through Cornell’s astounding gorges and gardens. I look forward to contributing to the various student organizations at Cornell with my interests and background. 

    Cornell’s unique freedom of course selection offers an uncommon opportunity for career exploration. I’m confident Cornell’s College of Arts and Science’s opportunities, courses, cutting-edge research and researchers, and community will make it my perfect next Room 307: an opening to practically endless exploration and growth that cannot be found elsewhere.

    A positive aspect of this essay is how it neatly parallels the student’s interdisciplinary interests in science and technology to the interdisciplinary aspect of the major and the College of Arts and Sciences. The reader gains a full appreciation for the diverse interests this student has and exactly how they align with a Cornell education.

    Providing context about the biotechnology club, their internship at Holy Cross, and their experience as a research assistant at Montgomery College are all great ways to show the reader how this student has already expressed intellectual curiosity in this field in the past. Although you don’t need to go into too much detail about things that will be included on your extracurricular profile, it’s always a good idea to tie in your experiences whenever possible.

    Additionally, this essay successfully employs an echo back to the opening in the conclusion. The essay starts by introducing illustrious Room 307 as the birthplace of this student’s joint passion in science and technology, so circling back to that room in the conclusion helps bring the essay to a satisfying full-circle moment. It was also clever to use Room 307 as a metaphor for exploring their interest, and thereby comparing Cornell to the next Room 307.

    This essay exceeds in covering a breadth of opportunities at Cornell that excite them, but it could use some work on the depth of each opportunity. What do we mean by this? The student mentions nine different aspects of Cornell that excite them, but they provide little meaningful elaboration on why they want to get involved with these particular choices, how they relate to their interests, or what they hope to gain from these experiences.

    For instance, instead of just telling the reader they are interested in Dr. Cohen’s research, the essay should delve into what about micro-scale robots following biochemical signals excites them so much. Have they or a loved one been affected by a disease these robots could cure? Did they read an article about this technique a few years back and have been dreaming about implementing it up close? 

    Asking these questions to probe deeper than the surface layer of “ I like this topic ” helps bring the essay (and you as an applicant) to life. If the student chose to cut back on the number of offerings they included and instead focused on the depth and context for each one, it would make the essay much stronger.

    One more thing this essay does that we’d caution against is the empty flattery of the school. Cornell admissions officers know that it’s one of the greatest research institutions and there are many opportunities for supporting students, so it’s unnecessary for the student to repeat that in their essay. What they don’t know about is you . Try to steer clear of mentioning the college’s accolades and rankings, and maintain attention on you and how you fit in.

    Essay Example #3

    Prompt: What kind of a business student are you? Using your personal, academic, or volunteer/work experiences, describe the topics or issues that you care about and why they are important to you. Your response should convey how your interests align with the school to which you are applying within the Cornell SC Johnson College of Business (the Charles H. Dyson School of Applied Economics and Management or the Cornell Peter and Stephanie Nolan School of Hotel Administration). (650 words)

    I rounded third base; dust flew in a whirling cloud of dirt behind me. On my wrist I sported a stained pink wristband with the name of my grandmother, who had recently finished her last chemo treatment. I slid into home plate, narrowly escaping the daunting reach of the catcher. As I got up, I looked around at the field of players, all donning a similar wristband with the name of someone close to them that had battled cancer. I turned to the bleachers and smiled as a sea of pink cheered me on. While cancer can be a dismal matter, it was a merging force that brought a community together for that charity game. Seeing what a unifying tragedy cancer can be, I knew I wanted to help.

    At the Dyson School within the Cornell SC Johnson School of Business I aim to gain a strong foundation in business, with a concentration in marketing, to conduct meaningful research as an undergraduate. Taking part in the CALS Honors Research program, I aspire to research marketing strategies for increasing cancer screening rates. Having numerous family members that have battled with cancer has shown me the burdensome effect it can have not only on the individual, but on the family. Through my project, I hope to minimize those effects, as catching the disease early on is vital to a patient’s recovery. With the unique opportunity provided by the program, I know that I will have that chance.

    After graduation, I want to continue with a career in marketing for the betterment of society. For me, the importance of marketing is not about convincing consumers to buy the latest product to boost sales, it is about encouraging consumers to make decisions that will benefit themselves and their community. With a focus in healthcare, I will have the ability to positively influence people’s precautionary screening measures, keeping them safe and healthy. Similarly, I aim to apply the same principle in other fields during my career and my time at Cornell.

    One of those fields is green energy. Protecting the planet is a sentiment that is also very important to me, and with its beautiful, vast landscape and focus on environmental conservation, Cornell is the perfect place for me to advance that mission. With the state of today’s climate, the need to act swiftly is paramount, and citizen participation is key. As a marketer, I would strive to convince consumers to make the switch to green energy. In the digital age, marketing relies heavily on the internet, and I am excited to take Digital Marketing with Professor Tomaso Bondi to develop my skills in that area.

    With Cornell already performing groundbreaking research in sustainable energy, I want to get involved with the initiative from a marketing perspective. An opportunity that intrigues me is the student project Cornell Electric Vehicles. Although it is an engineering project team, I would love to get involved as a student from Dyson working on marketing the effectiveness of the vehicles designed by the team. Switching to electric cars is an efficient way to reduce our carbon footprint and sharing the successes achieved by the team would be a great way to showcase the capabilities of electric vehicles.

    As a student looking to make a positive impact on his global community through research and marketing, I know that Cornell can provide me with the opportunities to achieve my goals. Whether it be persuading an unknowing cancer victim to receive a screening or a consumer looking for a new car to switch to green energy, I will make a change through marketing. By gaining a strong understanding of the foundations of business and marketing, I will strive to ensure that everyone after that charity game will be able to return home and hug their loved one and have a healthy and thriving planet to call home.

    This student exemplified the prompt by showing us exactly what kind of business student they are. They are a student passionate about having a social and environmental impact through marketing. The fact that the reader can walk away with such a clear impression of who this student is and what they hope to accomplish with a Cornell business degree is a result of the concise and dynamic flow of this essay.

    Every new idea they introduced—whether it was pursuing the honors research program or joining the Cornell Electric Vehicle project team—was supported by contextual reasoning and personal connections. Tying everything back to their past or their goals for the future really brought the student front and center and made it very easy for the reader to feel like they know this student.

    In addition to connecting everything to the student, the essay also managed to connect interdisciplinary topics that you might not immediately think of when you hear business to marketing. Not being afraid to delve into healthcare and sustainability in an essay for a business school brings a personal and unique perspective to a prompt that admissions officers are sure to appreciate.

    Another source of this essay’s strength is how each paragraph is concise and focused. There is a very intentional use of space that makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along with each new idea and take away the main points from each paragraph. 

    Although this essay is quite strong as it is, one weakness was the abrupt switch from cancer and healthcare to sustainability. It’s great that this student has multifaceted interests and that they were able to touch on both, but given that the anecdote at the beginning was solely focused on cancer, it felt somewhat jarring to switch to green energy halfway through the essay.

    One way this discontinuity could be addressed is to find a different anecdote to begin the essay, ideally one that combines cancer and sustainability if at all possible. Or, the student could keep the cancer anecdote and add a second one that connects to their interest in green energy more. However, it’s important to not let the anecdote overwhelm the essay and take up too much space, so keeping it concise and providing just enough to spark interest is key.

    This essay only includes three Cornell-specific opportunities, and while this allows for more personal connections to be made to each offering, the student’s interest and research on the college could be demonstrated with one or two more details. It might be nice if they found a club that related to marketing and healthcare on campus and a class that relates to business and green energy to show how they plan to address both of their passions in and out of the classroom.

    Where to Get Your Cornell Essays Edited

    Do you want feedback on your Cornell essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

    If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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