online vs traditional dating essay

Online Dating: A Critical Analysis From the Perspective of Psychological Science

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Although the authors find that online dating sites offer a distinctly different experience than conventional dating, the superiority of these sites is not as evident. Dating sites provide access to more potential partners than do traditional dating methods, but the act of browsing and comparing large numbers of profiles can lead individuals to commoditize potential partners and can reduce their willingness to commit to any one person. Communicating online can foster intimacy and affection between strangers, but it can also lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment when potential partners meet in real life. Although many dating sites tout the superiority of partner matching through the use of “scientific algorithms,” the authors find that there is little evidence that these algorithms can predict whether people are good matches or will have chemistry with one another.

The authors’ overarching assessment of online dating sites is that scientifically, they just don’t measure up. As online dating matures, however, it is likely that more and more people will avail themselves of these services, and if development — and use — of these sites is guided by rigorous psychological science, they may become a more promising way for people to meet their perfect partners.

Hear author Eli J. Finkel discuss the science behind online dating at the 24th APS Annual Convention .

About the Authors

Editorial: Online Dating:  The Current Status —and Beyond

By Arthur Aron

I agree wholeheartedly that so-called scientific dating sites are totally off-base. They make worse matches than just using a random site. That’s because their matching criteria are hardly scientific, as far as romance goes. They also have a very small pool of educated, older men, and lots more women. Therefore they often come up with no matches at all, despite the fact that women with many different personality types in that age group have joined. They are an expensive rip-off for many women over 45.

Speaking as someone who was recently “commoditized” by who I thought was a wonderful man I met on a dating site, I find that the types of people who use these services are looking at the wrong metrics when they seek out a prospective love interest. My mother and father had very few hobbies and interests in common, but because they shared the same core values, their love endured a lifetime. When I got dumped because I didn’t share my S.O.’s interests exactly down the line, I realized how dangerous this line of thinking truly is, how it marginalizes people who really want to give and receive love for more important reasons.

I met a few potential love interests online and I never paid for any matching service! I did my own research on people and chatted online within a site to see if we had things in common. If we had a few things in common, we exchanged numbers, texted for a while, eventually spoke on the phone and if things felt right, we’d meet in a public place to talk. If that went well, we would have another date. I am currently with a man I met online and we have been together for two years! We have plans to marry in the future. But there is always the thought that if this doesn’t work out, how long will it take either of us to jump right back online to find the next possible love connection? I myself would probably start looking right away since looking for love online is a lengthy process!

I knew this man 40 years ago as we worked in the same agency for two years but never dated. Last November 2013 I saw his profile on a dating site. My husband had died four years ago and his wife died 11 years ago. We dated for five months. I questioned him about his continued online search as I had access to his username. Five months into the friendship he told me he “Was looking for his dream women in cyberspace”. I think he has been on these dating sites for over 5 years. Needless to say I will not tolerate this and it was over. I am sad, frustrated and angry how this ended as underneath all of his insecurities, unresolved issues with his wife’s death he is a good guy. I had been on these dating sties for 2 and 1/2 years and now I am looking at Matchmaking services as a better choice in finding a “Better good guy”.

I refer to these sites as “Designer Dating” sites. I liken the search process to ‘Window Shopping’. No-one seems very interested in making an actual purchase or commitment. I notice that all the previous comments are from women only. I agree with the article that says essentially, there are too many profiles and photos. Having fallen under this spell myself…”Oh, he’s nice but I’m sure there’s something better on the next page…” Click. Next. And on it goes. The term Chemistry gets thrown around a lot. I don’t know folks. I sure ain’t feelin’ it. Think I’ll go hang out with some friends now.

Stumbling upon this article during research for my Master thesis and I am curious: Would you use an app, that introduces a new way of dating, solely based on your voice and who you are, rather than how you look like? To me, we don’t fall in love with someone because of their looks (or their body mass index for that matter) or because of an algorithm, but because of the way somebody makes you feel and the way s.o. makes you laugh. At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter if someone has blue or brown eyes and my experience is, that most people place fake, manipulated or outdated pictures online to sell someone we don’t really are. And we are definitely more than our looks. I found my partner online and we had no picture of each other for three months – but we talked every night for hours…. fell in love and still are after 10 years… We met on a different level and got aligned long before we met. So, the question is, would you give this way of meeting someone a chance… an app where you can listen in to answers people give to questions other user asked before and where you can get a feeling for somebody before you even see them?

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• The Virtues and Downsides of Online Dating

30% of U.S. adults say they have used a dating site or app. A majority of online daters say their overall experience was positive, but many users – particularly younger women – report being harassed or sent explicit messages on these platforms

Table of contents.

• 1. Americans’ personal experiences with online dating
• 2. Users of online dating platforms experience both positive – and negative – aspects of courtship on the web
• 3. Americans’ opinions about the online dating environment
• Acknowledgments
• Methodology

How we did this

Pew Research Center has long studied the changing nature of romantic relationships and the role of digital technology in how people meet potential partners and navigate web-based dating platforms. This particular report focuses on the patterns, experiences and attitudes related to online dating in America. These findings are based on a survey conducted Oct. 16 to 28, 2019, among 4,860 U.S. adults. This includes those who took part as members of Pew Research Center’s American Trends Panel (ATP), an online survey panel that is recruited through national, random sampling of residential addresses, as well as respondents from the Ipsos KnowledgePanel who indicated that they identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual (LGB). The margin of sampling error for the full sample is plus or minus 2.1 percentage points.

Recruiting ATP panelists by phone or mail ensures that nearly all U.S. adults have a chance of selection. This gives us confidence that any sample can represent the whole U.S. adult population (see our Methods 101 explainer on random sampling). To further ensure that each ATP survey reflects a balanced cross-section of the nation, the data are weighted to match the U.S. adult population by gender, race, ethnicity, partisan affiliation, education and other categories.

For more, see the report’s methodology about the project. You can also find the questions asked, and the answers the public provided in this topline .

From personal ads that began appearing in publications around the 1700s to videocassette dating services that sprang up decades ago, the platforms people use to seek out romantic partners have evolved throughout history. This evolution has continued with the rise of online dating sites and mobile apps.

Today, three-in-ten U.S. adults say they have ever used an online dating site or app – including 11% who have done so in the past year, according to a new Pew Research Center survey conducted Oct. 16 to 28, 2019. For some Americans, these platforms have been instrumental in forging meaningful connections: 12% say they have married or been in a committed relationship with someone they first met through a dating site or app. All in all, about a quarter of Americans (23%) say they have ever gone on a date with someone they first met through a dating site or app.

Previous Pew Research Center studies about online dating indicate that the share of Americans who have used these platforms – as well as the share who have found a spouse or partner through them – has risen over time. In 2013, 11% of U.S. adults said they had ever used a dating site or app, while just 3% reported that they had entered into a long-term relationship or marriage with someone they first met through online dating. It is important to note that there are some changes in question wording between the Center’s 2013 and 2019 surveys, as well as differences in how these surveys were fielded. 1 Even so, it is clear that websites and mobile apps are playing a larger role in the dating environment than in previous years. 2

The current survey finds that online dating is especially popular among certain groups – particularly younger adults and those who identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual (LGB). Roughly half or more of 18- to 29-year-olds (48%) and LGB adults (55%) say they have ever used a dating site or app, while about 20% in each group say they have married or been in a committed relationship with someone they first met through these platforms. Americans who have used online dating offer a mixed look at their time on these platforms.

On a broad level, online dating users are more likely to describe their overall experience using these platforms in positive rather than negative terms. Additionally, majorities of online daters say it was at least somewhat easy for them to find others that they found physically attractive, shared common interests with, or who seemed like someone they would want to meet in person. But users also share some of the downsides to online dating. Roughly seven-in-ten online daters believe it is very common for those who use these platforms to lie to try to appear more desirable. And by a wide margin, Americans who have used a dating site or app in the past year say the experience left them feeling more frustrated (45%) than hopeful (28%).

Other incidents highlight how dating sites or apps can become a venue for bothersome or harassing behavior – especially for women under the age of 35. For example, 60% of female users ages 18 to 34 say someone on a dating site or app continued to contact them after they said they were not interested, while a similar share (57%) report being sent a sexually explicit message or image they didn’t ask for.

Online dating has not only disrupted more traditional ways of meeting romantic partners, its rise also comes at a time when norms and behaviors around marriage and cohabitation also are changing as more people delay marriage or choose to remain single.

These shifting realities have sparked a broader debate about the impact of online dating on romantic relationships in America. On one side, some highlight the ease and efficiency of using these platforms to search for dates, as well as the sites’ ability to expand users’ dating options beyond their traditional social circles. Others offer a less flattering narrative about online dating – ranging from concerns about scams or harassment to the belief that these platforms facilitate superficial relationships rather than meaningful ones. This survey finds that the public is somewhat ambivalent about the overall impact of online dating. Half of Americans believe dating sites and apps have had neither a positive nor negative effect on dating and relationships, while smaller shares think its effect has either been mostly positive (22%) or mostly negative (26%).

Terminology

Throughout this report, “online dating users” and “online daters” are used interchangeably to refer to the 30% of respondents in this survey who answered yes to the following question: “Have you ever used an online dating site or dating app?”

These findings come from a nationally representative survey of 4,860 U.S. adults conducted online Oct. 16 to 28, 2019, using Pew Research Center’s American Trends Panel. The following are among the major findings.

Younger adults – as well as those who identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual – are especially likely to use online dating sites or apps

Some 30% of Americans say they have ever used an online dating site or app. Out of those who have used these platforms, 18% say they are currently using them, while an additional 17% say they are not currently doing so but have used them in the past year.

Experience with online dating varies substantially by age. While 48% of 18- to 29-year-olds say they have ever used a dating site or app, that share is 38% among 30- to 49-year-olds, and it is even smaller among those ages 50 and older. Still, online dating is not completely foreign to those in their 50s or early 60s: 19% of adults ages 50 to 64 say they have used a dating site or app.

Beyond age, there also are striking differences by sexual orientation. 3 LGB adults are about twice as likely as straight adults to say they have used a dating site or app (55% vs. 28%). 4 And in a pattern consistent with previous Pew Research Center surveys , college graduates and those with some college experience are more likely than those with a high school education or less to say they’ve ever online dated.

There are only modest differences between men and women in their use of dating sites or apps, while white, black or Hispanic adults all are equally likely to say they have ever used these platforms.

At the same time, a small share of U.S. adults report that they found a significant other through online dating platforms. Some 12% of adults say they have married or entered into a committed relationship with someone they first met through a dating site or app. This too follows a pattern similar to that seen in overall use, with adults under the age of 50, those who are LGB or who have higher levels of educational attainment more likely to report finding a spouse or committed partner through these platforms.

A majority of online daters say they found it at least somewhat easy to come across others on dating sites or apps that they were physically attracted to or shared their interests

Online dating users are more likely to describe their overall experience with using dating sites or apps in positive, rather than negative, terms. Some 57% of Americans who have ever used a dating site or app say their own personal experiences with these platforms have been very or somewhat positive. Still, about four-in-ten online daters (42%) describe their personal experience with dating sites or apps as at least somewhat negative.

For the most part, different demographic groups tend to view their online dating experiences similarly. But there are some notable exceptions. College-educated online daters, for example, are far more likely than those with a high school diploma or less to say that their own personal experience with dating sites or apps is very or somewhat positive (63% vs. 47%).

At the same time, 71% of online daters report that it was at least somewhat easy to find people on dating sites or apps that they found physically attractive, while about two-thirds say it was easy to find people who shared their hobbies or interests or seemed like someone they would want to meet in person.

While majorities across various demographic groups are more likely to describe their searches as easy, rather than difficult, there are some differences by gender. Among online daters, women are more likely than men to say it was at least somewhat difficult to find people they were physically attracted to (36% vs. 21%), while men were more likely than women to express that it was difficult to find others who shared their hobbies and interests (41% vs. 30%).

Men who have online dated in the past five years are more likely than women to feel as if they did not get enough messages from other users

When asked if they received too many, not enough or just about the right amount of messages on dating sites or apps, 43% of Americans who online dated in the past five years say they did not receive enough messages, while 17% say they received too many messages. Another 40% think the amount of messages they received was just about right.

There are substantial gender differences in the amount of attention online daters say they received on dating sites or apps. Men who have online dated in the past five years are far more likely than women to feel as if they did not get enough messages (57% vs. 24%). On the other hand, women who have online dated in this time period are five times as likely as men to think they were sent too many messages (30% vs. 6%).

The survey also asked online daters about their experiences with getting messages from people they were interested in. In a similar pattern, these users are more likely to report receiving too few rather than too many of these messages (54% vs. 13%). And while gender differences remain, they are far less pronounced. For example, 61% of men who have online dated in the past five years say they did not receive enough messages from people they were interested in, compared with 44% of women who say this.

Roughly seven-in-ten online daters think people lying to appear more desirable is a very common occurrence on online dating platforms

Online daters widely believe that dishonesty is a pervasive issue on these platforms. A clear majority of online daters (71%) say it is very common for people on these platforms to lie about themselves to appear more desirable, while another 25% think it is somewhat common. Only 3% of online daters think this is not a common occurrence on dating platforms.

Smaller, but still substantial shares, of online daters believe people setting up fake accounts in order to scam others (50%) or people receiving sexually explicit messages or images they did not ask for (48%) are very common on dating sites and apps. By contrast, online daters are less likely to think harassment or bullying, and privacy violations, such as data breaches or identify theft, are very common occurrences on these platforms.

Some users – especially younger women – report being the target of rude or harassing behavior while on these platforms

Some experts contend that the open nature of online dating — that is, the fact that many users are strangers to one another — has created a less civil dating environment and therefore makes it difficult to hold people accountable for their behavior. This survey finds that a notable share of online daters have been subjected to some form of harassment measured in this survey.

Roughly three-in-ten or more online dating users say someone through a dating site or app continued to contact them after they said they were not interested (37%), sent them a sexually explicit message or image they didn’t ask for (35%) or called them an offensive name (28%). Fewer online daters say someone via a dating site or app has threatened to physically harm them.

Younger women are particularly likely to encounter each of these behaviors. Six-in-ten female online dating users ages 18 to 34 say someone via a dating site or app continued to contact them after they said they were not interested, while 57% report that another user has sent them a sexually explicit message or image they didn’t ask for. Other negative interactions are more violent in nature: 19% of younger female users say someone on a dating site or app has threatened to physically harm them – roughly twice the rate of men in the same age range who say this.

The likelihood of encountering these kinds of behaviors on dating platforms also varies by sexual orientation. Fully 56% of LGB users say someone on a dating site or app has sent them a sexually explicit message or image they didn’t ask for, compared with about one-third of straight users (32%). LGB users are also more likely than straight users to say someone on a dating site or app continued to contact them after they told them they were not interested, called them an offensive name or threatened to physically harm them.

Online dating is not universally seen as a safe way to meet someone

The creators of online dating sites and apps have at times struggled with the perception that these sites could facilitate troubling – or even dangerous – encounters. And although there is some evidence that much of the stigma surrounding these sites has diminished over time, close to half of Americans still find the prospect of meeting someone through a dating site unsafe.

Some 53% of Americans overall (including those who have and have not online dated) agree that dating sites and apps are a very or somewhat safe way to meet people, while a somewhat smaller share (46%) believe these platforms are a not too or not at all safe way of meeting people.

Americans who have never used a dating site or app are particularly skeptical about the safety of online dating. Roughly half of adults who have never used a dating or app (52%) believe that these platforms are a not too or not at all safe way to meet others, compared with 29% of those who have online dated.

There are some groups who are particularly wary of the idea of meeting someone through dating platforms. Women are more inclined than men to believe that dating sites and apps are not a safe way to meet someone (53% vs. 39%).

Age and education are also linked to differing attitudes about the topic. For example, 59% of Americans ages 65 and older say meeting someone this way is not safe, compared with 51% of those ages 50 to 64 and 39% among adults under the age of 50. Those who have a high school education or less are especially likely to say that dating sites and apps are not a safe way to meet people, compared with those who have some college experience or who have at bachelor’s or advanced degree. These patterns are consistent regardless of each group’s own personal experience with using dating sites or apps.

Pluralities think online dating has neither helped nor harmed dating and relationships and that relationships that start online are just as successful as those that begin offline

Americans – regardless of whether they have personally used online dating services or not – also weighed in on the virtues and pitfalls of online dating. Some 22% of Americans say online dating sites and apps have had a mostly positive effect on dating and relationships, while a similar proportion (26%) believe their effect has been mostly negative. Still, the largest share of adults – 50% – say online dating has had neither a positive nor negative effect on dating and relationships.

Respondents who say online dating’s effect has been mostly positive or mostly negative were asked to explain in their own words why they felt this way. Some of the most common reasons provided by those who believe online dating has had a positive effect focus on its ability to expand people’s dating pools and to allow people to evaluate someone before agreeing to meet in person. These users also believe dating sites and apps generally make the process of dating easier. On the other hand, people who said online dating has had a mostly negative effect most commonly cite dishonesty and the idea that users misrepresent themselves.

Pluralities also believe that whether a couple met online or in person has little effect on the success of their relationship. Just over half of Americans (54%) say that relationships where couples meet through a dating site or app are just as successful as those that begin in person, 38% believe these relationships are less successful, while 5% deem them more successful.

Public attitudes about the impact or success of online dating differ between those who have used dating platforms and those who have not. While 29% of online dating users say dating sites and apps have had a mostly positive effect on dating and relationships, that share is 21% among non-users. People who have ever used a dating site or app also have a more positive assessment of relationships forged online. Some 62% of online daters believe relationships where people first met through a dating site or app are just as successful as those that began in person, compared with 52% of those who never online dated.

• Pew Research Center’s 2013 survey about online dating was conducted via telephone, while the 2019 survey was fielded online through the Center’s American Trends Panel . In addition, there were some changes in question wording between these surveys. Please read the Methodology section for full details on how the 2019 survey was conducted. ↩
• Other studies show that online dating is playing a larger role in how romantic partners meet. See Rosenfeld, Michael J., Reuben J. Thomas, and Sonia Hausen. 2019. “ Disintermediating your friends: How online dating in the United States displaces other ways of meeting .” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America. ↩
• This survey includes an oversample of lesbian, gay or bisexual (LGB) adults. For more details, see the Methodology section of the report. ↩
• Other research suggests that online dating is an especially important way for populations with a small pool of potential partners – such as those who identify as gay or lesbian – to identify and meet partners. See Rosenfeld, Michael J., and Thomas, Reuben J. 2012. “ Searching for a Mate: The Rise of the Internet as a Social Intermediary .” American Sociological Review. ↩

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Compare And Contrast Essay: Online Dating vs. Real-Life Dating

The need for human connection drives people to look in various ways; some people choose to meet people online, while others prefer real-life in-person situations to meet people.  For myself and my wife, we met online. As someone who dislikes the typical bar scene, I felt I needed an alternate means to find a connection. As an introvert, I found it easier to meet and talk to people online than in face-to-face situations.

Personality traits can affect a person’s comfort level and drive how they prefer to interact with people. Real-life dating is much more common for extroverted people who frequent bars and larger social gatherings. But for an introvert, the online method can give a sense of a barrier, allowing the person to feel freer to communicate more and be in a more comfortable environment. One must also understand the vices that would enable someone to open up. Some extroverts can also communicate better while drinking; however, drinking can lead to other issues while trying to meet others. 

Online dating can also be safer in some circumstances. Online dating allows for more time to make an intellectual connection without other distractions.  There is a greater chance of being put in a more vulnerable situation meeting in real life at a bar. Alcohol can also give a false sense of a person’s personality. Nevertheless, the online method can have its drawbacks as well. People are potentially more apt to lie online by using false pictures or information. The term “catfishing” refers to people providing incorrect information on social media or over cell phones. 

Modern technology makes it much easier to meet people online. Social media has given people the ability to find old acquaintances from school or previous workplaces. Technology offers many different means to meet various types of people from many other locations. Real-life dating limits you to local areas, and a lot of times, the same people frequent the same places. Ultimately, people who meet online can eventually meet face to face and move their relationship further. 

During my dating era, face-to-face dating was the social norm. Online dating was in its infancy and still considered taboo. Online dating is now far more socially accepted. As dating has evolved to provide both real-life and online options, the playing field for introverts and extroverts has leveled.  While there are many differences between the online versus real-life dating experience, both allow any personality type to find the most basic human need; connection.  

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Online Dating vs. Traditional Dating, Essay Example

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Introduction

Many people today still believe in “love at first sight”. Men and women around the world fall in love with each other after meeting in person. However, some struggle to find somebody who would tick all the boxes and be a long term reliable partner. These individuals now have a tool claiming to match people on scientific basis. Online dating is similar to an internet shop: one logs on, looks around, chooses what they like, and makes a bid. There are some advantages and disadvantages of online and traditional dating, as well. The below essay will focus on the differences between the above described dating methods.

Traditional dating is spontaneous, and online dating is a conscious act. Those who believe in physical and emotional attraction and have time for socializing are likely to choose traditional dating. They can see the person they are making a vote on, and decide whether or not they are attracted to them. Traditional dating can also occur at events, workplaces, or school, and it brings forward several benefits, such as knowing about the person beforehand, seeing their behavior in social situations, and knowing how they speak, behave, or dress.

Online dating is for people with fewer social connections, while traditional dating is for those who want to experience “love at first sight” . For many people, choosing a person with the same interest is extremely important, therefore, they seek new acquaintances in their regular environment. Those who attend sports events might become attracted to someone from another group of fans, or people who are keen on photography might find their perfect match at an exhibition. There is already one point of connection, and the two people will have something to start the conversation with. They will have one common interest already, and can decide immediately whether or not they would like to get to know each other more.

Online dating is riskier than traditional dating. Online dating, however, is similar to “dating in the dark”. As people can put anything on their profile they like, and no information is checked, one needs to be careful meeting someone online. It is also likely that people looking to date others online will put on the most appealing pictures on their profile, or old photos that do not even resemble how they look like today. As there are no shared friends and acquaintances, it is hard to check the information a user puts online about themselves. While some online dating sites allow members to put on videos, the person looking for a date will only know how the other individual acts like when they meet.

Main Differences and Conclusion

Traditional dating is simpler for people who have a social life and are likely to meet loads of people . Online dating, on the other hand, is designed for men and women who have a clear idea what they are looking for. While many authors state that love has nothing to do with rational decisions, the main benefit of online dating is that the member of the site can filter users based on age, occupation, height, body type, marital status, the number of children, and many more characteristics. Online dating is, therefore, for people who would like to choose a partner for long term and believe that they know what they are looking for in a man or woman. Traditional dating, on the other hand, has the benefit of being more reliable when it comes to the information provided before the first date, and more likely to be built on mutual attraction.

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Relationships and Online Dating Essay

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Negative Factors

Truth and trustworthiness, expectations and reality, denial and avoidance, perceptions and waiting, the need for improvement.

The rising popularity of online communication changes the way people socialize. Friends and relatives can stay in touch and feel as though they are close to each other, even if they are at opposite corners of the world. Moreover, now people can find friendship and love online. The increasing interest in online dating also raises the question of whether this particular phenomenon is helping or damaging the current quality of relationships in society.

Many scholars attempt to answer this question by exploring different aspects of online dating. Many of these research articles come to a similar conclusion – online dating has a number of issues that stem from human nature as well as some technological factors. The central problems highlighted in the works of these scholars deal with individuals’ expectations and hopes. While dating online has benefits for finding people with similar interests, it also distances people and makes them suspicious of each other’s true identity.

Human relationships, romantic or otherwise, may be hard to establish and maintain for many reasons. The creation of online dating sites and applications was most likely intended to eliminate these issues and make the process of finding new partners easy and stress-free. Nevertheless, people encounter many problems as they create profiles, search for other individuals, and engage in a conversation. The following arguments show that online dating can complicate an already intricate process of finding affection.

It has been shown that people’s choice to date each other is strongly connected to the aspect of trust. According to McGloin and Denes (2016), attractiveness plays a significant role in both men’s and women’s desire to continue their relations. However, their reactions to this factor are somewhat opposite. Men, as the study finds, are more likely to trust female profiles with less attractive photos. These pictures are usually untouched or not enhanced with professional lighting and photo editing. Men consider images, which appear to be of much higher quality or have various visual effects as suspicious and fictitious. On the other hand, women find retouched photos more attractive and more trustworthy at the same time.

These findings show that online dating makes both men and women perceive their potential partners through a lens of distrust. Constant uncertainty of whether they are talking to the person they see on the screen may disrupt the usual process of bonding, which is typical for real-life meetings. People who cannot trust each other because of their visual appearance may start doubting different sides of their relationship. Interestingly, men, while being more suspicious of an attractive profile picture, are still more interested in dating women with edited photos (McGloin & Denes, 2016). This way of thinking can lead to such issues as the creation of unrealistic expectations and false ideals.

The problem of manufacturing an unrealistic image also results in many negative experiences for older individuals. While younger generations are used to the technological world and usually have a better understanding of the online culture, adults and the elderly encounter many difficulties trying to make themselves more attractive. An article by McWilliams and Barrett (2014) states that older adults feel pressured to appear more youthful online than they are in reality because of the competition from younger individuals. Women suffer from the concepts of beauty being centered on youthfulness and physical attraction and rivalry from younger women, while men have a limited social network.

Therefore, many older individuals try to become someone who they are not. This manipulation of pictures, descriptions, and even behavior leads to the creation of a false identity, which adults often try to retain while interacting with others online. For example, men focus on their abilities, often exaggerating their achievements and assets (McWilliams & Barrett, 2014). Women, as a contrast, try to appear more youthful physically and by editing their pictures to adhere to the current standards of beauty. These characteristics are the primary interests of these two groups because men are more concerned about their partner’s attractiveness, while women look for someone engaging and financially stable.

When two individuals overcome the issues connected with finding each other, their interaction uncovers another range of problems. Flirting is the primary activity and intention of online dating applications, and it is also affected by all previously mentioned elements. Imagery plays a significant role in finding partners, and flirting online is often connected to one’s appearance. However, as people start to learn more about each other, the desire to exaggerate one’s physical attributes can evolve into the need to present oneself as a completely different person.

Mortensen (2017) argues that online flirting allows people to show themselves in a different light and express personality traits that they usually do not have in real life. The fear of being rejected by another person pressures some individuals to behave differently from their personalities.

Such artificially created personas cannot continue their relationship in real life and are bound by their fear of personal intimacy. This issue strengthens the divide between the online and the real world. While the purpose of online dating is to bring people together and have a positive and accepting atmosphere, it may result in people trying to avoid or ignore negative experiences (Mortensen, 2017). Imaginary visuals and personalities do not have a positive impact on people’s perceptions of reliable partners and stable relations.

If people finally decide to meet in real life, their thoughts about each other may differ from the persons they see face to face. A study by Ramirez, Sumner, Fleuriet, and Cole (2014) evaluates the outcomes of individuals meeting face to face after communicating through dating sites and applications. The authors find that people’s behavior, amount of accessible information, and period of interaction influence their final reaction to the first real-life date.

For instance, people that talk to each other online for a long time are often disappointed during their first meeting. It can be explained by the fact that both individuals start to imagine some personal traits and qualities of their partners and idealize their physical appearance and attitude. Therefore, upon meeting face to face, they are disheartened as their created image is not real.

Some inaccurate expectations do not come from simple idealization but also from dishonesty and exaggeration. Self-presentation, which is often exploited by people online, leads to various disappointing outcomes. To avoid these issues, people can meet each other after some brief online interaction. Alternatively, they can use different platforms for communication to exchange more information about each other.

Various personalized forms of communication, such as phone numbers and personal e-mails, are able to bring people closer than online dating applications can. Furthermore, more private information sharing can also fill the gaps of knowledge that would be otherwise filled with one’s imagination. Photos, interests, and other aspects of one’s everyday life can increase the level of trust and intimacy between people. The authors find that individuals who do not share information cannot spark any interest in other persons (Ramirez et al., 2014). Therefore, people can quickly fail at realistically portraying themselves online.

It is clear that technology is not the only reason for the issues of online dating. People often misinterpret or abuse the information that is available to them. Therefore, online dating, as a concept, can bring some positive results. Moreover, it can be improved to help more individuals build healthy relationships. Although the quality of relations most likely decreased due to the growing lack of trust, people gained an opportunity to find each other with a click of a button. The issue of false imagery can be fixed if individuals stop pressuring each other to fit particular standards and instead focus on real and reliable connections.

Currently, online dating has a number of problems that significantly affect the state of relationships in society. People that meet each other online base their desire to interact on trustworthiness, which is directly connected to profile pictures and personal information. Photo editing is a problem that leads to heightened expectations. Also, many individuals try to behave differently online, which creates false personalities and further contributes to one’s trust issues. Misunderstanding and idealization are also common issues, which further interfere with one’s ability to create meaningful connections in real life. Online dating has adverse effects on people’s relations, but it can and should be improved.

McGloin, R., & Denes, A. (2016). Too hot to trust: Examining the relationship between attractiveness, trustworthiness, and desire to date in online dating. New Media & Society. Web.

McWilliams, S., & Barrett, A. E. (2014). Online dating in middle and later life: Gendered expectations and experiences. Journal of Family Issues, 35(3), 411-436.

Mortensen, K. K. (2017). Flirting in online dating: Giving empirical grounds to flirtatious implicitness. Discourse Studies, 19(5), 581-597.

Ramirez, A., Sumner, E. M., Fleuriet, C., & Cole, M. (2014). When online dating partners meet offline: The effect of modality switching on relational communication between online daters. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, 20(1), 99-114.

• Dating Process
• Online Dating for Aging Adults
• Dating and Partner Selection From Different Decades
• Relationship Between Premarital and Marital Satisfaction
• Communication and Marital Distress
• Abusive Behaviors in Close Relationships
• Human Relations as Interactions in the Social Environment
• Communication Between Parents and Teenagers
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Home — Essay Samples — Sociology — Dating — Comparison of Online Dating and Traditional Dating

Comparison of Online Dating and Traditional Dating

• Categories: 21St Century Dating Online Dating

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Published: Oct 2, 2020

Words: 548 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Works Cited

• Rosenfeld, M. J., & Thomas, R. J. (2012). Searching for a mate: The rise of the internet as a social intermediary. American Sociological Review, 77(4), 523-547.
• Gibbs, J. L., Ellison, N. B., & Heino, R. D. (2006). Self-presentation in online personals: The role of anticipated future interaction, self-disclosure, and perceived success in Internet dating. Communication Research, 33(2), 152-177.
• Finkel, E. J., Eastwick, P. W., Karney, B. R., Reis, H. T., & Sprecher, S. (2012). Online dating: A critical analysis from the perspective of psychological science. Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 13(1), 3-66.
• Madden, M., & Lenhart, A. (2006). Online dating. Pew Internet & American Life Project.
• Duggan, M., & Smith, A. (2013). Online dating & relationships. Pew Internet & American Life Project.
• Ellison, N., Heino, R., & Gibbs, J. (2006). Managing impressions online: Self-presentation processes in the online dating environment. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, 11(2), 415-441.
• Baker, A., & Oswald, D. L. (2010). Shyness and online social networking services. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 27(7), 873-889.
• Whitty, M. T., & Carr, A. N. (2006). New rules in the digital world: Online dating. Media, Culture & Society, 28(4), 497-520.
• Gibbs, J. L., Ellison, N. B., & Heino, R. D. (2010). The use of social networking sites in romantic relationships: Effects on jealousy and relationship happiness. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, 16(4), 511-527.
• Smith, A. (2016). 5 facts about online dating. Pew Research Center.

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Online Dating Vs. Traditional Dating Essay

Type of paper: Essay

Topic: Sociology , Business , Internet , Development , Life , Dating , Information , Time

Published: 03/22/2020

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Finding a partner has never been easy and often the process is uncertain, frustrating and can be lonely. Human beings are social beings, and we feel nice when we are loved or treasured by our significant other. This explains why most people are ready to go to any length to get a partner, a soul mate or a lover. The new technology has brought new changes in the world and one of the areas where the internet has brought a revolutionary change is the dating scene. People are now moving to the internet to find soul mates and life partners. Online dating is a personal introductory kind of a system where individuals find and contact one another over the internet to arrange a meeting or a date for that matter with the intention of developing a romantic, personal or sexual relationship. On the other hand, traditional dating involves meeting a person face to face for the first time and later developing the relationship by either meeting out for dinner or having fun together. Internet dating is slowly replacing traditional dating however traditional dating is still common, and many couples practice it. A lot of people are “e-dating” with hope of finding that perfect individual who they can spend some time with or settle down with. Online dating just like traditional dating has its advantages and disadvantages, but scholars argue that it has a lot of advantages than the traditional dating. It has the advantage to the people who may be uncomfortable meeting new people physically for the first time or who are new to the area. This process can be done from the comfort of an individual’s room and it is also convenient for those who have other responsibilities such as tight work schedules, travelling or other commitments in life that make going out to social places impossible. The internet has provided services that try to make the process of finding love as painless as possible, the dating services has chat rooms that individuals can get to know the other person without having the need to exchange contacts or photos. As the friendship grows, the two people can go forward and exchange contacts or plan to meet. Traditional dating can be a bit challenging since it most of the time involves striking a conversation with a stranger who may choose to ignore you. This can be awkward since it also requires frequent visits to the social places in an effort to find someone. The modern living has seen a reduction in the time we have to socialize since most of the time people are working or engaging into other business activities, these have put traditional dating at a disadvantage. In online dating, an individual has the comfort of browsing profiles of potential partners without the need to meet them physical. This enables him or her to narrow down to what he or she is looking for. However, the experience of meeting someone online may be impersonal and thrilling as compared to the excitement and the instant attraction of meeting someone for the first time in the traditional dating. Online dating usually provides an individual’s profile which includes a person’s photo, career aspirations, favorite movies and other basic information. The information often provided makes the process of starting a conversion less challenging since an individual knows some a bit of information about that person. On the other hand, traditional dating goes step by step that preserves an element of mystery that creates excitement as the two individuals goes on to know one another in the future. In traditional dating, there are rarely logistical issues since the individuals meet face to face as compared to the online dating which due to the increased scope. An individual may be dating another person living in another country, and it may be difficult to meet due to the travel concerns. When engaging in the traditional dating, a person is well aware of who they are dealing with which eliminates the chances of an individual lying about who they are or exaggerating their personal traits. In online dating, fake dates may exaggerate their history or personal attributes with an attempt to lure unsuspecting daters. This has been an issue in the recent years when date particularly teenager’s meet unscrupulous dates online and are lured into social evils without their consent. Traditional dating gives an individual the chance to ask friends and family more information about the other person before accepting to go out with them. This is not possible with the online kind of dating.

In conclusion, both online and traditional dating provides an opportunity for individual to meet that perfect someone, while online dating has recently been preferred due to our modern busy life, it has also its pitfalls that an individual needs to consider before engaging him or herself in it.Traditional dating also provides some aspects that are quite interesting even if it is being considered as outdated by many people; the individual has the choice to decide the best method suitable for them.

Colmer, R. S., & Thomas, T. M. (2005). The senior's guide to dating (again): Traditional and online. Chelsea, Mich: Eklektika Press. Elisar, S. (2007). Everyone's Guide to Online Dating: How to Find Love and Friendship on the Internet. Oxford: How To Books.

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Understanding the Dating Scene: Modern vs. Traditional Approaches

Dating in our generation has changed. No longer do we consider being set up by parents or through family members as a regular practice. Marrying someone who lives next to us or even at the end of our block isn’t a common occurrence anymore. We crave new experiences when it comes to our dating circles.

Even movies produced by Hollywood provide an open discussion of a social commentary that is relevant to everybody’s present dating ideals and practices. Gone are the days of “When Harry Met Sally” and “Working Girl.” Now we have movies like “Catfish,” “How to be Single,” and “You’ve Got Mail.” Even though there are reasons why modern dating is drastically different from dating techniques from previous decades, what parts of the modern dating world have intertwined with dating concepts of the past?

Two CSUN faculty, Wallace Zane, a professor of anthropology, and Stacy Missari, a professor of sociology who specializes in human sexuality, shared their views on the subject.

“Well, we’re talking about American culture. We think of the man as making the first move and asking someone to do something in a public place,” Zane said. “And then time after getting to know each other (they) meet in private. Now it’s even more public because, from what I understand, you have the apps where you can look for people and find them. So, everybody is available.”

Professor Missari said that the biggest change from ‘old’ versus ‘new’ techniques are that now we have more of a chance to meet people outside our circle of friends and family or immediate geographic area.

“We do not have to rely on friends or family members to set us up or wait to meet a stranger at a local bar, we can use apps to find people to date that we may have never encountered in our social circles.”

Missari also explains that a lot of movies from the ’80s and ’90s didn’t touch on a lot of intersectional issues that pertain to our culture today.

“This is important for people who live in areas where the LGBTQ population is really small or does not have an established gay community to meet dating partners and friends,” she said. “I think while the specifics of movies from the 80s and 90s versus today may be different, the overarching themes are pretty much the same in terms of the fear and exhilaration of dating and trying to find a long-term partner, the reliance on your friends to figure out the norms for dating and sex, and how issues related to sexual identity, gender, race, class, etc. complicate dating.”

Like Missari said, society’s old ways of meeting people from bars and through friends is no longer the only way to meet new people. It is still probable that a person can meet and develop a relationship with another in a bar after they get out of work like in the film “Working Girl,” or meeting in college as friends and running into each other throughout their lives for the 12 years they’ve known each other like in “When Harry Met Sally.” The likes of “Catfish” (the movie and the TV show) and “You’ve Got Mail” demonstrate how much social media (then and now) has changed the way we look at our dating lives and how we connect with people.

“People can be more upfront about what they are looking for in terms of a relationship,” Missari said. “If you are looking for someone to have casual sex, friends with benefits or a serious relationship, there are apps specifically tailored for that.”

However, she did speak about the potential ways that dating apps have become a threat in the way people meet potential partners.

“One of the downsides of increased ability to ‘screen’ for the specific characteristics we want in a partner is that we may be missing out on great people just because they don’t ‘fit’ the certain traits we think we are looking for,” she said. “In person, you may click with someone who you may have discarded on a dating app. This becomes even more problematic when people use veiled or overtly racist language in their dating profiles but couch it under the label of ‘just their sexual preference.’”

While this may make dating apps seem like a bleak experience, Missari believes that there may be more professional matchmaking services being used in the future as dating continues to evolve.

“If we think of finding a partner as a service that could increase efficiency in our daily lives, I think its only a matter of time before a tech company finds a way to provide a free or cheap matchmaking that is specifically customized to us,” she said. “Postmates for mates!”

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“Traditional Dating Vs Online Dating”

Here are some pros and cons associated with online dating.

Pros – Online Dating provided individuals with access to many more potential partners than they could often find in their daily lives. This is especially true for individuals interested in partners of a particular type, orientation, life style, or isolated areas.

Cons – The choices of partners can become confusing and overwhelming without a clear plan. Online dates can get stuck endlessly ‘shopping’ for the perfect partner, rather then actually starting a satisfying relationship.

2) Matching

Pros – Many online dating sites offer various types of personality testing and matching. Such matching can help guide individuals toward dating partners who may be more compatible.

Cons – Matching is a difficult process and testing may not be accurate for everyone. In addition, people may present differently in person or change over time so, matching may overlook potential good partners in the process.

3) Communication

Pros – Online dating offers a number of ways to get to know a potential date before meeting in person. Such computer-mediated communication allows for safe and convenient interaction without much risk or time commitment. For the busy professionals, or the safety- conscious, such communication is an excellent way to “Test” potential partners.

Cons -Communication through computers is lacking some of the information provided in face-to-face interaction. As a result its harder to evaluate a potential match online. Computer-mediated communication may have an artificial and unemotional quality.

Pros and cons of Traditional Dating

Pros- Instant chemistry

While online dating requires a certain amount of online interaction before meeting up, traditional way allows you to to experience your first interactions with some one at face value. This can help in determining whether you want to continue seeing this person. It can be increasingly easier to determine if there is an instant chemistry with the person if you meet them in person right away, versus if you’re interacting with them through a computer screen.

Mutual Friends

If you’ve met someone offline, it is likely that you share a mutual friend or two with this person. This can make the game more comfortable allowing a sense of familiarity and common interest to make it easier to connect without awkwardness. Its also a great way to set up future meetings in group settings.

No Misrepresentation

Online dating harbors a sense anonymity in its interactions before the actual meet up. So sometimes it can be difficult to tell if a person’s profile serves as an accurate representation of who they are. Meeting that person in a traditional public setting takes away the worry of potential lies and misleading that can happen via the internet.

Cons- Constant Socializing

Often traditional dating relies on frequenting bars and other social public gatherings in order to mingle with other singles. This can be difficult amid our busy schedules when our professional lives dominate our personal lives and can sometimes call for some awkwardness when attempting to strike up a conversation with a stranger. It also can result in unwanted attention from strangers who may just be looking to hook up rather than date.

Limitations

Sticking to traditional dating definitely means that you are limited in your choices. While the internet offers a broad sphere for finding a match, traditional way significantly narrows your choices by limiting you geographically and often confining you to your existing social circles.

It can Take Longer

Traditional dating is a series of trial and error. Its impossible to known as much about a person before a date when you’re not scouring their online profile for their personal interests and goals. This can make it harder to find the person that you’re looking for while online dating often provides quick and efficient potential partners that match your own profile.

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