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Definition of a Gentleman

John Henry Newman's Essay Is a Prime Example of Character Writing

An Introduction to Punctuation
Ph.D., Rhetoric and English, University of Georgia
M.A., Modern English and American Literature, University of Leicester
B.A., English, State University of New York

A leader in the Oxford Movement and a cardinal in the Roman Catholic Church, John Henry Newman (1801-1890) was a prolific writer and one of the most talented rhetoricians in 19th-century Britain. He served as the first rector of the Catholic University of Ireland (now University College Dublin) and was beatified by the Catholic Church in September 2010.

In "The Idea of a University," originally delivered as a series of lectures in 1852, Newman provides a compelling definition and defense of a liberal arts education, arguing that the primary purpose of a university is to develop the mind, not dispense information.

From Discourse VIII of that work comes "A Definition of a Gentleman," a superb example of character writing . Note Cardinal Newman's reliance on parallel structures in this extended definition -- in particular his use of paired constructions and tricolons .

'A Definition of a Gentleman'

[I]t is almost a definition of a gentleman to say he is one who never inflicts pain. This description is both refined and, as far as it goes, accurate. He is mainly occupied in merely removing the obstacles which hinder the free and unembarrassed action of those about him, and he concurs with their movements rather than takes the initiative himself.

His benefits may be considered as parallel to what are called comforts or conveniences in arrangements of a personal nature: like an easy chair or a good fire, which do their part in dispelling cold and fatigue, though nature provides both means of rest and animal heat without them.

The true gentleman in like manner carefully avoids whatever may cause a jar or a jolt in the minds of those with whom he is cast;--all clashing of opinion, or collision of feeling, all restraint, or suspicion, or gloom, or resentment; his great concern being to make everyone at their ease and at home.

He has his eyes on all his company; he is tender towards the bashful, gentle towards the distant, and merciful towards the absurd; he can recollect to whom he is speaking; he guards against unseasonable allusions, or topics which may irritate; he is seldom prominent in conversation, and never wearisome.

He makes light of favours while he does them, and seems to be receiving when he is conferring. He never speaks of himself except when compelled, never defends himself by a mere retort, he has no ears for slander or gossip, is scrupulous in imputing motives to those who interfere with him, and interprets everything for the best.

He is never mean or little in his disputes, never takes unfair advantage, never mistakes personalities or sharp sayings for arguments, or insinuates evil which he dare not say out. From a long-sighted prudence, he observes the maxim of the ancient sage, that we should ever conduct ourselves towards our enemy as if he were one day to be our friend.

He has too much good sense to be affronted at insults, he is too well employed to remember injuries, and too indolent to bear malice. He is patient, forbearing, and resigned, on philosophical principles; he submits to pain, because it is inevitable, to bereavement, because it is irreparable, and to death, because it is his destiny.

If he engages in controversy of any kind, his disciplined intellect preserves him from the blundering discourtesy of better, perhaps, but less educated minds; who, like blunt weapons, tear and hack instead of cutting clean, who mistake the point in argument, waste their strength on trifles, misconceive their adversary, and leave the question more involved than they find it.

He may be right or wrong in his opinion, but he is too clear-headed to be unjust; he is as simple as he is forcible, and as brief as he is decisive. Nowhere shall we find greater candour, consideration, indulgence: he throws himself into the minds of his opponents, he accounts for their mistakes.

He knows the weakness of human reason as well as its strength, its province and its limits. If he be an unbeliever, he will be too profound and large-minded to ridicule religion or to act against it; he is too wise to be a dogmatist or fanatic in his infidelity.

He respects piety and devotion; he even supports institutions as venerable, beautiful, or useful, to which he does not assent; he honours the ministers of religion, and it contents him to decline its mysteries without assailing or denouncing them.

He is a friend of religious toleration, and that, not only because his philosophy has taught him to look on all forms of faith with an impartial eye, but also from the gentleness and effeminacy of feeling, which is the attendant on civilization.

Not that he may not hold a religion too, in his own way, even when he is not a Christian. In that case, his religion is one of imagination and sentiment; it is the embodiment of those ideas of the sublime, majestic, and beautiful, without which there can be no large philosophy.

Sometimes he acknowledges the being of God, sometimes he invests an unknown principle or quality with the attributes of perfection. And this deduction of his reason, or creation of his fancy, he makes the occasion of such excellent thoughts, and the starting-point of so varied and systematic a teaching, that he even seems like a disciple of Christianity itself.

From the very accuracy and steadiness of his logical powers, he is able to see what sentiments are consistent in those who hold any religious doctrine at all, and he appears to others to feel and to hold a whole circle of theological truths, which exist in his mind no otherwise than as a number of deductions.

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Etiquette Advice

These are the 10 best quotes about being a gentleman

To be a gentleman is to embody considerable values, morals and principles. and we've sought inspiration from the very best....

Words: Gentleman's Journal

To be a gentleman in the 21st century is a joyful thing to aspire to. After all, a gentleman embodies all the very best qualities a man can strive to possess: courtesy , respect , kindness , a firm handshake and a great many other traits. We have the highest admiration for true gentlemen; but we know it can be tricky to know how exactly to emulate this exemplary status. Enter: the gentleman quotes.

That’s right: we’ve rounded up a selection of our favourite gentleman quotes from the very best. These gentlemanly icons are bursting with wisdom on how to be a true gentleman: in every sense, at all times. Follow their advice, and you won’t go far wrong in your pursuit of the ultimate gentleman status.

“A gentleman would be ashamed should his deeds not match his words”

As gentleman quotes go, this is by far one of the best. It was brought to us by the philosopher Confucius; arguably one of the greatest minds to have ever lived. We certainly think so; this quote emphasises the ultimate importance of actions over words. It’s all very well saying you’re a good guy; but you’ve got to embody that goodness in every action in order to be a true gentleman. Actions speak louder than words.

“The only infallible rule we know is, that the man who is always talking about being a gentleman never is one.”

One of our favourites of all the gentleman quotes out there, this quote from Robert Smith Surtees, English journalist, comic novelist and sports writer, points out that the art of being a gentleman is more than skin deep — and that being boastful really isn’t part of it. Best known for creating the Cockney huntsman Jorrocks, which inspired Charles Dickens’s Pickwick Papers , Smith Surtees certainly knew the dangers of blowing one’s own trumpet, and of keeping one’s gentlemanly qualities modestly to oneself. No one likes a show-off.

“A gentleman is someone who does not what he wants to do, but what he should do.”

Gentleman quotes can be found in a variety of places: this particular gentleman quote is from Japanese author Haruki Murakami’s 1987 novel, Norwegian Wood ; and it elegantly describes how a great man puts his morals and the wellbeing of others before himself. The gentlemanly option may not always be the preferred option; but a true gentleman would never let that stand in the way of doing the right thing, as Murakami knew well.

“Anyone can be heroic from time to time, but a gentleman is something you have to be all the time.”

This is undoubtedly one for the ‘Hall of Gentleman Quotes Fame’. It comes to us courtesy of Luigi Pirandello: acclaimed Italian dramatist, novelist, poet and writer — and winner of the 1934 Nobel Prize in Literature. Here, he succinctly summarises why being a gentleman is not a half-hearted pursuit. Rather, it’s something one must embody from dawn until dusk: whether people are watching, or not.

“The word of a gentleman is as good as his bond; and sometimes better.”

Charles Dickens knew his stuff: and never more so than when it came to gentleman quotes. Throughout his long and illustrious career as a literary giant, Dickens created some of the world’s best-known fictional characters and explored all facets of the human condition in his enormous body of work. He knew that a gentleman’s promise is worth its weight in gold; so don’t take those gentlemanly qualities lightly, lads.

“Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage.”

Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of the United States, lends his historic voice to the gentleman quotes dictionary with this surprisingly soft-edged quote; all the more surprising, given that it’s from a man considered to be one of the hardest to have ever lived. It demonstrates that common courtesy and everyday politeness is just as crucial for a gentleman as any great show of bravery.

“A gentleman doesn’t have one set of manners for the house of a poor man and another for the house of someone with an income incomparable to his own.”

A gentleman doesn’t pick and choose who benefits from his gentlemanly manners. There is nothing less gentlemanly (or, indeed, abhorrent) than treating those who have less money than you with less respect than you would those on an equal monetary footing. William Maxwell, writer, editor and mentor to many of the most prominent authors of his day, knew this all too well: and, taken from his 1979 novel So Long, See You Tomorrow, this quote is one of the most foundational gentleman quotes.

“A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.”

Of all the gentleman quotes to epitomise the lifelong goal that every gentleman should strive for, let it be this. George Bernard Shaw, the Irish playwright, critic and polemicist, had a phenomenal influence on Western theatre, culture and politics; and he has some indubitable gentlemanly wisdom on hand, too. Gentlemen should be thinking, all the time, not about what they can get: but about how they can help.

“A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.”

Oscar Wilde, legendary Irish writer and one of the world’s most popular playwrights ever, was voted greatest British wit in 2007 – with gentleman quotes like this, it’s not hard to see why. (It’s also a little ironic, given that Wilde was famous for acerbic asides.) Unintentional rudeness implies a lack of engagement and interest in one’s surroundings: don’t let that be you, gents. (We’re not fans of intentional rudeness, either — just to clarify.)

“This is the first test of a gentleman: his respect for those who can be of no possible value to him”

And rounding off our gentleman quotes, we’ve got this iconic quote from William Lyon Phelps: American author, critic and scholar. The quote was included in the 1001 Smartest Things Ever Said compilation by Steven D. Price, and deservedly so. Demonstrating respect for everyone, regardless of who can benefit you personally, is a mark of decency, dignity and true class.

Are you after more gentlemanly advice? Here’s everything you should know before using a dating app …

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